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Морфей, до утра дай отраду Моей мучительной любви. Приди, задуй мою лампаду, Мои мечты благослови! Сокрой от памяти унылой Разлуки страшный приговор! Пускай увижу милый взор, Пускай услышу голос милый. Когда ж умчится ночи мгла И ты мои покинешь очи, О, если бы душа могла Забыть любовь до новой ночи!

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Oh, Morpheus, give me joy till morning For my forever painful love: Just blow out candles’ burning And let my dreams in blessing move. Let from my soul disappear The separation’s sharp rebuke! And let me see that dear look, And let me hear voice that dear. And when will vanish dark of night And you will free my eyes at leaving, Oh, if my heart would have a right To lose its love till dark of evening!

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К МОРФЕЮ / Morpheus

Александр Сергеевич Пушкин  / Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin  1799-1837

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Graphic - René-Antoine Houasse  1645-1710

when i was 15, i felt like… really deeply DEEPLY uncomfortable with the fact that there were cameras everywhere at my highschool. the sensation of not being able to walk to class without being monitored somehow really fucked with me for some reason.

this only worsened after seeing this segment on the school news that featured various stupid stuff caught on the hallway cameras, like people falling down or readjusting their underwear when they thought the hallways were empty. 

but they werent. there was someone watching, and they forgot to police their behavior and ended up getting embarrassed for it. everyone laughed at this segment. i remember the classroom being filled with snickers as someone fell flat on their face. i wasn’t a “superwoke” kid or anything, but i didnt think this was funny. i thought it was scary. what if that was me? what if i got caught fixing a wedgie on camera without even knowing it? 

i remember these cameras being used for everything – spotting dress code violations, catching students skipping class, etc. you can argue that they shouldnt have broken the rules, sure, but that doesnt excuse the concept of Being Constantly Watched. 

and what about the times when they weren’t doing something wrong? like when they were walking back from the bathroom or tripping over their own feet? did that warrant embarrassment and shame from their watchful spectators? does existing in a school hallway warrant surveillance? 

this brings me to the concept of anti-shooter architecture. there is a rising interest in school layouts that prepare for the possibility of a shooter roaming the halls. these improvements include bulletproof glass, concrete cover, and…. something scary. 

many of these highschool floor plans include some type of circular or central “watch tower” feature, and the designers actively boast about it being a panopticon. a panopticon. the same thing they use in prisons to enforce the idea that the prisoners are always being watched, though they can never really know when. 

what kind of effect will “anti-shooter architecture” have on kid’s minds? the constant threat of violence is already taking its toll on teenagers who have undergone active shooter drills, and this concept of air-tight security (clear backpacks, metal detectors, camera surveillance, constantly locked doors, etc) is not really an environment you would want to raise a child in, so why are we sticking kids in schools like that for 7-8 hours a day?

which leads into the next thing. many people’s solution to this is more guns, which equates to police presence in schools. ive already seen videos coming out of school cops beating black kids and ordering muslim girls to take off their hijabs. but beyond the racism and xenophobia, it’s another (now living) reminder of the unsafe environment these kids find themselves in. another reminder that theyre being watched and their behavior is being judged according to the law, or whatever the cop or teachers find inappropriate. that standing up for themselves or arguing can be taken as hostile and warrant physical intervention. 

police presence on campus grounds is DIRECTLY used to suppress student activism. you know that.i know that. we know that. you remember that photo of the cop spraying a line of peaceful protesters? you remember that cop that tackled a student for holding a sign? you remember the fucking car fuls of kids that were arrested for protesting? 

police are our enemy, but they can be found in plenty of highschools and colleges now. even in elementary schools, where young children are being taught to obey and trust cops. the conditioning is being started young, and if you don’t conform to it, you become a watched enemy on your own campus. 

what kind of affect will this militarization and surveillance in schools and campuses have on future generations? it’s impossible to deny that environment has an effect on development, so what kind of behavior are we encouraging when we educate children & young adults in schools that not only prepare them for violence, but instill them with the idea that they are constantly being watched, monitored, and judged? that they could be victims of gun violence at any time, or that protests are an excuse for police brutality? 

If you don’t have a crazy dancing Spider-Man gif on your blog then you’re doing it wrong.

reblog for good luck ;)

A little bit of girlboss in my life

A little bit of gaslight by my side

A little bit of gatekeep is what i need

A little bit of gaybait is all i see

street lamp forest by sonia vordermaier

One day I want to hug my lover from behind and sway to the soft music we'll have playing over the speakers in our home. I'll kiss whatever skin I can see and hum the melody into their shoulder blades. I want to distract them for a moment while I slowly move my hand down their arm to pull them away from the stove. I want to dance with them in the early morning sun that our windows expose us too. To be able to kiss their cheek as they giggle at me and move my arms to be placed at their waist. They'll turn around and let me lean against their back as they go back to cooking for the both us. Providing for the both of us. And I'll provide for them in my own way. As I continue to softly hum the sweet melody of the song until the next one plays. Then, I'll do it all over again, the repetition of my actions ensue onto this person I will love. We will be happy in our own time and place, and it will feel like it is just us in this strange little world.

a cup of sunshine

Here is a recipe for liquid positivity to help you all through these days.

You’ll need: chamomile fresh ginger (just a little!) fresh lemon honey

optional: homemade cinnamon buns (will heal your heart with immediate effect)

Brew your tea with a bit of ginger and add a squeeze of lemon. Add the honey with a spoon and use it to stir clockwise while thinking of a happy memory. (I might have had a chant for this, but I forgot it already, and it was probably in multiple languages - pardon me, I’m a bit of mess after not leaving the house for two weeks. You can make your own chant if you’want.)

Put on a song that makes you feel good. I chose Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles.

Sit by a window and open it if possible. Breathe.

Drink up. You’re alright.

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”