Tale As Old As Time

tale as old as time

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

More Posts from Gringlgrungl and Others

4 weeks ago

Collection of images and memes for anyone who doesn’t know what to draw (edit: I added way more ❤️)

Image ID: Girl balancing her weight on axe with her left hand, and toying with her pigtails in her right hand in front of a blue background. End ID.
Image ID: A girl in a pink nurse costume is playfully holding a syringe in front of her. End ID.
Image id: A girl is sitting with her back against a wooden floor, and her legs and feet propped up on a wooden stair. She is wearing a red dress, and has red ribbons surrounding her. End ID.
Image id: a girl is staring at the camera with wide open eyes, and is holding her pink dress up to just above her kneecaps. She is standing in a small room, and looks larger than most of the objects. End id.
A girl is walking towards the camera, holding an axe over her shoulder using her left hand, and holding up her right palm out to the side of her face. End ID.
Image id: a girl with large white wings and a choker around her neck is holding a black guitar, and wearing a white dress. End id.
Image id: a girl is crouched down wearing a playboy bunny costume and looking at the camera, resting her cheek on her left hand and letting her right hand hang to her side. End id.
Image id: a woman with gray hair is sitting elegantly on a beige chair, with an owl perched on her left hand. End id.
Image id: a girl is holding a firefighter’s axe, with baggy pants held up by suspenders and a black tube top. She has gloves on, and her head is cocked to one side. End id.
Image id: a screenshot of a twitter post captioned “your new ‘draw this’ is here, artist homies”. Pictured is a woman in a white wedding dress and veil flexing her arms while her husband stands behind her, with his hands clasped over his mouth in awe. End id.
Image id: a screenshot of a twitter post captioned “I think everyone should redraw this as their ship”. Pictured is an image of a person in a black coat looking at a billboard with the face of a blonde woman smiling on it. End id.
Image id: a photo from @gilphotography on tumblr (now deactivated) of a beat up woman sitting on a wicker chair with her left leg over the arm rest. She is wearing camo pants, a black bra or shirt, and yellow dog tags. Her hair is tussled and messy, seemingly from fighting. End id.
Image id: a picture from a magazine titled “film fun”, from October 1928. The issue is titled “Classy at the bat”, with a picture of a smiling and brown haired young flapper wearing an orange baseball uniform holding a baseball bat over her shoulder, seemingly having just hit a ball. On the side of the page, it reads “be this girl’s friend! [[see contest on page 9]]”. End id
Image id: a picture seemingly taken from a magazine page. It shows a woman smoking a cigarette, with her left foot on a chair and her right hand on her hip and holding a colorful fan. She is wearing a large orange skirt, which contrasts with her black top. She is standing in front of an orange background. End id.
Image id: the popular “female bullying stock photo”. It shows a woman with brown hair wearing a red vest jacket being held by three other women - a blonde, a brunette, and a woman with very dark brown or black hair. The brunette woman is holding the woman in the vest jacket’s right arm back, while the dark haired woman stands on her left and holds her shirtfront. The blonde woman stands behind, on the woman I bc the vest jacket’s left, and gazes into her eyes. For a bullying stock photo, it’s oddly romantic. End id.
Image id: a picture of two men standing on a sidewalk at night. The man on the right is posing for a picture, but the man on the left is glaring at the camera and moving his face so the shadows hit him and only the whites of his eyes are visible on his face. The photo’s text reads: “why dis 🥷🏽 look so mad 😭😭😭”. The watermark is for “@lilsleepyjp” on TikTok. End id.
Image id: three panels layed out, each one a frame from a movie. It reads from top to bottom. The first panel has brunette woman pointing a gun at a blonde woman. The second panel shows the blonde woman pointing a gun at the brunette woman. The third panel shows the blonde woman and the brunette woman kissing each other. End id.
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)
Collection Of Images And Memes For Anyone Who Doesn’t Know What To Draw (edit: I Added Way More ❤️)

Tags
2 weeks ago

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

2 months ago

Posting my video on here from TikTok. It’s been a hot minute since I was active on this account but dang, this is where it all started 10+ years ago. I MISS Y’ALL 😭


Tags
2 weeks ago
First We Wonder, Then We Lust
First We Wonder, Then We Lust
First We Wonder, Then We Lust
First We Wonder, Then We Lust

First we wonder, then we lust


Tags
3 weeks ago
Scientists Have Just Discovered Some Rocks At The Bottom Of The Ocean Can Make Oxygen... And They Do

Scientists have just discovered some rocks at the bottom of the ocean can make oxygen... and they do it in complete darkness!

These aren’t magic stones, they’re polymetallic nodules, potato-sized metal lumps packed with manganese, cobalt, and nickel.

But here’s the twist; when seawater flows over their surfaces, they generate tiny electric currents that can split water molecules into hydrogen and oxygen. No sunlight, no photosynthesis, just deep-sea chemistry creating breathable gas in the pitch black.

This “dark oxygen” could explain how deep-sea creatures survive in low-oxygen zones far from the surface. What's even wilder is that if this can happen on Earth, it could be happening right now in the hidden oceans of Europa or Enceladus, two icy moons that scientists think might host alien life.


Tags
1 month ago
gringlgrungl - the gringlerr

who else up & bisexual⁉️⁉️⁉️ And very afraid

2 months ago

hey❗️grabs you like pencil. the sleepwalkers are bloody sick ❗️

I gotta ask, what can they do? and do they ever waltz over to the moon seeing as they think it's god or?

Hey❗️grabs You Like Pencil. The Sleepwalkers Are Bloody Sick ❗️

They weave dreams and nightmares by like creating this thread that they each control and that latches onto people. They can individually control a persons sleep too but that requires a lot more effort and they don’t have time to do that every night so they’ve kind of mastered a sort of mass production of it though it is more overwhelming like this. They can also give each other sleep and dreams! (Mostly this is used by Reverie on Mara per her request). They can fly, mostly dissipate into stardust, make basic things out of their stardust. Probably a lot more too (gods) but they’re like mentally blocking the rest and think they’re angels. So.

As for if they if go to the moon, yes! (It’s like the big thing in the plot actually lol) In a moment of desperation they do in fact fly up to the moon, thinking surely she’ll answer their prayers then. Obviously, the moon doesn’t and their faith (especially Reverie’s) is really shaken after that.


Tags
1 month ago
O Also You Can Have My Dnd Character His Name Is Whim Everglade And I Love Him

O also you can have my dnd character his name is Whim Everglade and I love him


Tags
4 months ago
Is This Something. Is It Anything At This Point
Is This Something. Is It Anything At This Point
Is This Something. Is It Anything At This Point
Is This Something. Is It Anything At This Point
Is This Something. Is It Anything At This Point

is this something. is it anything at this point


Tags
2 weeks ago

I love seeing other people's ocs and getting snippets of their stories like oh my gosh there's a whole world and narrative in your head that I'm getting a small glimpse into isn't that so cool????


Tags
  • iowafashionweekbegins
    iowafashionweekbegins reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • acceptthepotato
    acceptthepotato liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • onedelusionalbrokendoll
    onedelusionalbrokendoll liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • dogyi
    dogyi reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • dogyi
    dogyi liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • screechingtreenuts
    screechingtreenuts reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • infinitedungas
    infinitedungas reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • infinitedungas
    infinitedungas liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • garfy
    garfy reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • coldforest
    coldforest reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • show-stoppin-enby
    show-stoppin-enby reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • ineffable-shenanigans
    ineffable-shenanigans reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • 5fragments
    5fragments liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • kookaburra-laugh
    kookaburra-laugh reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • poleaxed-aloe
    poleaxed-aloe reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • poleaxed-aloe
    poleaxed-aloe liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • bw1tched
    bw1tched liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • grandadmiraltreecko
    grandadmiraltreecko liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • liquidpaperfoundation1
    liquidpaperfoundation1 reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • cyberhonk
    cyberhonk reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • newgraywolf
    newgraywolf reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • oldcurse
    oldcurse reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • lovenotofthisworld
    lovenotofthisworld reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • lovenotofthisworld
    lovenotofthisworld liked this · 1 month ago
  • ladymordecai
    ladymordecai liked this · 1 month ago
  • imalilrayofsunshine
    imalilrayofsunshine liked this · 1 month ago
  • brokeafideas
    brokeafideas liked this · 1 month ago
  • examishbookwyrm
    examishbookwyrm reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • knightoftableround
    knightoftableround liked this · 1 month ago
  • clandestine-orchestra
    clandestine-orchestra liked this · 1 month ago
  • whk1987
    whk1987 liked this · 1 month ago
  • largedenominationsplease
    largedenominationsplease reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • largedenominationsplease
    largedenominationsplease liked this · 1 month ago
  • lilacsilver-writes
    lilacsilver-writes reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • lazorsandparadox
    lazorsandparadox reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • erikssiren
    erikssiren liked this · 1 month ago
  • mynameisroot
    mynameisroot reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • theagnosticbookworm
    theagnosticbookworm reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • oceanblueseagreen
    oceanblueseagreen liked this · 1 month ago
  • thebringerofstorms
    thebringerofstorms reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • rudeflower
    rudeflower reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • queenitsy
    queenitsy reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • potato-lizard
    potato-lizard reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • fernothewise
    fernothewise reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • aclassi-queer
    aclassi-queer liked this · 1 month ago
  • darantha
    darantha liked this · 1 month ago
  • misfittfaery
    misfittfaery reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • misfittfaery
    misfittfaery liked this · 1 month ago
  • bluedangernoodle
    bluedangernoodle reblogged this · 1 month ago
gringlgrungl - the gringlerr
the gringlerr

gay

183 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags