This Would Shut Me Up

Vezon immediately after he split from Vezok

Having a billion dollars is just... Unimaginable. Like, I could, immediately, buy my dream 2 story lake house, a car, furniture for the house and moving fees, driving lessons, therapy for a year, medication, all the food I need to fill my cabinets, and then I'm left with what, still roughly a billion dollars??? Like does money mean anything at that point??? Then I guess I can go on a more aggressive spending spree...

So that's a food truck, paying for the wages of workers, the rights for my food, business paperwork... Okay I just started a small business. Fuck that's only getting me more money, and I still haven't made a dent. Um uhh I buy a boat, a small one because I just need it for my backyard lake. Alright okay. Umm how about a cat patio? Alright that costs literally nothing now what. Make my house fully wheelchair accessible. Pennies in comparison to what I have.

I need to go bigger this is ridiculous.

A local homeless shelter with free and comfortable rooms, clean water, mental health programs and attached free-access food bank? Okay cool that actually made a dent how many more of these can I make.. Holy shit how many?? I can scatter these to cities with major poverty levels and not break a sweat. I've made a minor dent in my single billion dollars and the cool 2 million I put in the bank has an interest rate that can keep me alive for a lifetime so I can literally drain my billion dollars all I want.

Several food locations based on the food truck I made a few weeks ago. Still have money. Filling those food banks I funded to the brim, still have money. Get married. Still have money. Take a honeymoon to Denmark to see the lego museum. Still have money. Get bottom surgery. Still have money. Give a cool million dollars to each of my close friends and family. I still have money. Find clean water and food solutions for impoverished countries? I probably still have money. I've paid all of this in cash and up front. I literally don't understand.

I have no instinct to keep a billion dollars, let alone 44 billion or 100 billion. I don't comprehend why you want to save it up. You can literally live a beautiful, loving and perfect life for a drop of it, and save billions of people with the rest. Live your dreams, conquer your hindrances, help everyone you know. I literally can't understand saving it. Especially when you've created a successful company and *you're just getting more.*

People who have this much money, and don't do any of this with it, are absolutely without a doubt evil. Billionaires are not your friend, and I have no idea why you'd think otherwise unless they're legitimately, tangibly helping people as fast as possible with as much money as possible.

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

I don't know much about SCP stuff but I feel like Bionicle has enough cosmic and body horror themes that it would be thematically appropriate to make a series of like Onu-Metru archive journal entries about the Rahi they were studying. If anyone who knows more about the SCP Foundation wants to do something with that idea please go ahead.

My Pokémon ❤️💙

😎

Back on my waifu stickers shit again lmao this time of @lemonylepid

Time to brave the jungle

Never have I ever thought I would read Roodaka being described as "a chainmail-bikini wearing dominatrix velociraptor who rocks a pair of stiletto heels and rules over a horde of marauding giant spiders" but... you're not wrong

I get to live vicariously through this little dude