Three Silly Little Words | Yoon Jeonghan

paris

❝You and Jeonghan, jazz-filled corners, hidden history, and the city of love.❞

old hollywood! au | exes to lovers! au | angst, fluff, smut | 50k words

s u m m a r y : disgraced by hollywood for the last time, you, a once superstar-turned-alcoholic, escape to the city of love to seek sanctuary from the ruthless tabloids. your sanctuary comes in the form of film noir superstar yoon jeonghan, the enigmatic man who taught you the art of acting, lust and love before your fame. when he asks to meet you once, just like old times, you cannot refuse. what is meant to be a simple date turns into a path of passion, pain and everything that comes with fooling around with your ex in the jazz-filled corners of paris. 

c o n t e n t s : actor! mc, actor! jeonghan, mc is bitter and makes bad decisions, agent! seungkwan who is tired of fixing them, jeonghan is the suavest, sultriest mf, mentions of parisian landmarks in this fic during the golden hollywood era, also a bit of french peppered throughout, greek mythology art references, tons of fluff which is also layered with angst, quite hurt-comfort mature warnings -> alcohol consumption and abuse, smoking, this is basically sexual tension with plot, making out, oral sex (f. receiving) unprotected sex (refer point to bad decisions), multiple orgasms, jeonghan worships mc fr, praises galore, slightly angsty love-making, basically this is going to be an emotional rollercoaster 

p l a y l i s t : here!

t a g l i s t : at the bottom of the fic

a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e : she is here…finally…longer author’s note at the bottom of the fic but RIP to y’alls tumblr on mobile </3 thank you for reading and thank you ysl jeonghan you will always be the most iconic mf on the planet !! anyways enjoy <33

THE LOS ANGELES MIRROR, 28TH SEPTEMBER, 1954

_____ SEEN FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER FOX SCANDAL AT LAX!

Scandalised Princess of Hollywood was finally spotted after a week, hurrying into Los Angeles International Airport in the early hours of the morning!

The last time we reported on her was to announce Fox Productions terminating her contract after having a vicious altercation with her movie director and producer. As if showing up on set drunk and high out of your mind is not enough, but lashing your tongue out at the big boys? Our Princess has exceeded too many limits within her Kingdom, and is now running away like a traitor! 

We bring exclusive photos of her interacting with our reporters just before airport security stopped us—though, judging by the expression on her face, and the message on her hand, she may not be too pleased to see us…

Keep reading

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Something He Likes (M) pt. 1

The first part of the eighth and final part to the Pathetic series

Summary: Jeonghan and y/n are finally together. But what does being together mean for them?

This part is 31k which was too much for tumblr???? Because it was over 1000 blocks??? So it's split into two parts being released at the same time IM SORRY. Alexa play Hate Rodrigo by Yena

Warnings: Dubcon as always, let’s do this one more time: dom!jeonghan, sub!y/n, masochist!jeonghan, sadist!yn, lots of public play and I mean a lot okay, Jeonghan is a tease, degradation, dacryphilia, creampies, slight teeny tiny breeding kink if you squint at one part, pet play??? Like it’s not but he calls her a bitch and makes her bark idk what you want me to call that, cunnilingus, fingering, rough sex, mean!jeonghan, references to y/n being a toy and other demeaning things in a sexual manner (but like at this point we all know this right), praise!kink if you squint, the l-bombs in this one are crazy, jealousy from both sides, possessiveness from both sides, unprotected sex as always, bimbification? (yn is fucked dumb)

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This is part one of the eighth part of the pathetic series:

It felt weird to be standing at the door of Alpha Mu in daylight… Okay, you had been here in daylight before but it still felt wrong. You weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t really belong in a frat house, or if it was because now you were dating Jeonghan and that was weird to say.

You stared at the door, knowing from experience that what you needed to do was just to open the door. But… It was your first time coming here as a girlfriend… It just felt wrong to do so.

“Two times in a row.”

You were startled out of your thoughts by the unfortunately distinct sound of Seungcheol’s voice. You turned around, an embarrassed expression spread over your face, but Seungcheol just gave you half a smile.

“I just…” Your words died on your lips. Seungcheol’s smile grew a little bit, and he brushed past you, pushing the front door open. You watched him step in, your mouth momentarily going dry as he just left it open for you. He walked a few steps into the hallway, kicking his shoes off.

“Jeonghan, you left her outside again,” he called. You resisted the urge to hit Seungcheol and instead rushed into the frat house, kicking your shoes off and closing the door behind you. When you peaked around the door Jeonghan was on the floor surrounded by legos (as per usual).

You two caught each other’s eyes immediately and his lips fell into a smile that was mostly in his eyes. Your heart jumped in your chest at the expression, and you felt yourself stopping right next to Seungcheol who had stopped just inside the living room.

He looked at you and sighed shaking his own head.

“Look at her,” he commented gesturing to you. “This is the face of a psychology major who is going to leave you if you aren’t careful.”

Jeonghan’s smile didn’t waver, but his eyes flickered briefly down to his hands. He set down a chunk of lego bricks, watching you for your reaction to Seungcheol’s words. You glanced back over at Seungcheol, giving him a pressed smile.

“It’s like Jeonghan says,” you mumbled. “I don’t mind waiting for him.” You thought over your words for a second. “But it wasn’t his fault that I was standing out there.”

You looked back over at Jeonghan in time to see his eyes flicker over to Seungcheol. The two boys made eye contact, and Jeonghan’s lips flickered up just a tad more.

“She doesn’t mind,” he said, his voice coming out like a brag. His eyes flickered back, and he gestured towards you. “Come here.”

Somehow that was more embarrassing than you saying that you didn’t mind waiting for Jeonghan. You gave a glance to everyone in the room and upon noticing that no one was really paying attention you walked over to Jeonghan, stooping over in front of him. He smiled at you, and raised his hands to your face, pulling you down by your cheeks.

He pulled you close but he didn’t say anything to you. Instead, his eyes narrowed at you slightly, his gaze intensifying. You let him stare at you like that for a few seconds, that ran into a minute, that had your face burning in his hands.

“Jeonghan,” you mumbled softly. He mostly ignored you, his eyes searching your face in a manner that you were starting to become accustomed to. One that was embarrassing enough when you two were alone. More so when you were in a living room full of people. You bit back a frustrated whine. “Jeonghan,” you pressed again. “’s embarrassing.”

Jeonghan’s lips pressed up into a barely there smile and he sighed, a bit overdramatically, letting his hands fall back to his sides.

“Can’t I appreciate my girlfriend in peace?”

Girlfriend. That word certainly was tickling you in a way that you had never imagined it would. You tried to press down the feeling.

“Yeah, in peace,” you replied, your eyes glancing at Seokmin on the couch as you spoke. Jeonghan followed your gaze, his cheeks very briefly puffing up when he realized where your hesitation came from. He sighed, turning his head back to you.

“Fine,” he relented. “In peace.” He smiled and gestured to the legos scattered on the floor. He didn’t have to vocally extend the invitation to sit next to him. You set your bag down and sat cross-legged next to Jeonghan.

He was now fully focused on his legos again, and you watched him for a little as her perused the colorful pieces of plastic. You were only there for a few minutes before your attention was torn away from him.

“Oh y/n.”

You looked up from Jeonghan to see that Jun was standing at the stairs, your lips flickered up into a smile.

“Jun,” you greeted. Jun walked down the last few steps and walked over to you and Jeonghan, plopping himself down in front of you. Jeonghan looked up at him with a small glance, a smile flickering on his face in greeting. Jun mirrored the look before settling his gaze back on you.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said seriously. “I have a problem.”

You frowned slightly.

“Okay…?”

It wasn’t common that Jun came to you with things. In fact, you and Jun had never really had a relationship like that before. To lump you and Jun into a box without putting Jeongyeon in it too felt wrong. In fact, you thought that your even minor relationship with Jun could be chalked up to pure over exposure to one another.

You saw him with Jeongyeon. You saw him with Jeonghan. But never more than that.

And sure, he was there to give you advice but again if it weren’t for Jeongyeon in the room than you wouldn’t be telling him your issues at all.

So, to hear Jun come to you with a problem. Even though Jeonghan was right there. It was odd.

Jun’s eyes darted to the side, seeming to access his surroundings. You glanced around as well but everyone seemed to be focused on other things.

“It’s just…” He hesitated again, looking down at his hands. When he looked back up, you gestured for him to continue. “I keep getting asked out.”

Your eyebrow rose.

“Asked out?” You asked. He nodded.

“Asked out… By a girl…” He continued. Your eyes flickered behind Jun towards the kitchen where a curious Seungcheol was now peeking out from around the corner. Your attention strayed back to Jun.

“Okay,” you replied. You couldn’t quite read exactly what Jun wanted advice with and yet that seemed to be enough context for Jun. He went silent, reaching forward to grab some of the legos scattered on the floor. He started to separate them into little piles. You would think that you had satisfied him if not for the fact that so far all you had said that wasn’t repetition was okay. You cleared your throat.

“What girl?” You pressed, hoping maybe he would pick up that you didn’t have enough context.

He barely looked at you.

“Yeonwoo,” he replied, almost as if it was obvious. He glanced around and lowered his voice. “She’s one of the prettiest girls in my major.”

Another thought occurred to you, and you leaned back on your hands in disappointment.

“What the fuck even is your major Jun?” You asked.

“I’m in aerospace engineering,” he replied pointedly.

You blinked.

“Aerospac-”

“And Yeonwoo is the top of our class,” Jun interrupted you as if the revelation of his major was nothing. “We are in a class together right now and she started…” Again, he lowered his voice, forcing you to lean forward a little. “She started sitting next to me.”

You had never been this close to Jun before and yet for some reason you still couldn’t hear him. You scooted closer to him, your shoulders brushing, fingers touching.

“And she asked me one day what my favorite kind of coffee was and when I didn’t tell her she told me that she would just… Figure it out herself. And so, she just started bringing me coffee every day.”

Your lips flickered up into a small smile.

“What? That’s so nice.”

Jun still looked troubled.

“She keeps asking to study with me after class,” he continued, as if the addition of that detail should make it more obvious as to why this was so troublesome. “Or inviting me to parties that her friends are throwing.”

Now it was your turn to feel confused. You brushed your hair back distractedly.

“Do you not like her?”

“No, I do like her,” Jun disagreed. “She’s really pretty… And nice…”

“Jun’s never dated anyone before,” Jeonghan commented. Both of you looked up from where your foreheads were practically touching. He gestured towards Jun. “So, he’s nervous about messing it up.”

Jun’s face started to redden a little.

“That’s not-”

“He’s really popular with girls he just never realizes when they are flirting with him,” Seungcheol agreed from the kitchen. Jun whipped his head around to look at Seungcheol.

“Shouldn’t you be cooking?” He blurted, and then turned back around and pointed at Jeonghan’s legos. “And you are getting nowhere with this lego set.”

“Yeah, because you stole my building partner,” Jeonghan mumbled.

“Dating people isn’t something to be so worried about,” Minghao added from where he was sitting across the room. “And if you want advice on something like that isn’t y/n the worst person you could ask?”

Your eyebrows raised.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, turning to look at Minghao, a slight tinge of hurt leaking into your voice.

Minghao raised an eyebrow at you.

“Do I really have to elaborate?” He asked. He didn’t. You bit down on your bottom lip, and as you did so you felt Jeonghan’s hand creeping up on your back. His thumb drew some small circles on your back.

“It’s okay,” he assured. “Minghao doesn’t know anything about dating anyone either.”

He turned around and shot a look at Minghao who rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his book.

“That’s exactly why I wanted to talk to you about it,” he said to you. “Because… You were scared but you got over it. How did you do that?”

That phrase echoed in your mind in a way that you were a bit embarrassed to admit. You got over it.

Had you gotten over it? You hadn’t been dating Jeonghan for long at all and even as long as you had been dating him it wasn’t like you were dating him…. You two weren’t doing anything different than you had been before.

This was your first time over at the frat house since you two had gotten together and what had you done? Stood in front of the door as if you had never been over there before in your life. Like an idiot. Like somebody who very much had not gotten over it.

Your silence was probably loud to Jeonghan, but it fell on deaf ears with Jun. His eyebrows furrowed at your silence, just waiting for you to go on. Jeonghan nudged you in the side with his shoulder and once again you were reminded of exactly how close you were to Jun. You gave him a small half-there smile and pulled back from Jun.

“You just have to give it a shot,” you replied. “No matter how scared you may feel that’s just… Normal. Pre-relationship jitters. It’s simple, isn’t it? She likes you… You like her. Just go for it.”

You thought your advice was pretty shotty, and you knew that it was almost word for word the advice that people had given you about Jeonghan, but despite all of that Jun nodded, satisfied by your response. Obviously, you had said the right thing.

Silence fell over everyone in the room again and you took the opportunity to scoot back closer to Jeonghan. Once you were close enough to him, Jeonghan let his head fall limp on your shoulder, his eyes still on the legos in his hands. He looked confused as he stared at the lego blocks for reasons you were unsure of.

He seemed… You weren’t really sure what it was but not like himself really. He was being much quieter than usual… Maybe it was just because he was around the others. You nudged him in the side lightly, making his head move a bit on your shoulder, just so that his chin was tilted a bit further up towards you.

“Do you need me to read the instructions out for you?” You asked. Jeonghan silently shook his head against you and his head returned itself to its former position. You were unsure of exactly what he wanted out of you. You hoped that wasn’t what this was always going to be like. You being completely unsure of his intentions or wishes.

It was awkward… Because the others were here but you decided that if Jeonghan wasn’t putting up a fuss about it, and the other boys didn’t care about the very public display of affection you weren’t going to say anything about it either.

Jeonghan started to silently put all of the pieces of the lego set together, shifting every once and a while to get closer to you, or to flip the page of his instruction manual. You weren’t sure exactly how much time passed before Seungcheol came back into the living room from his cooking in the kitchen, but you felt like it had been a while.

Jeonghan had managed to build a few of the walls of his creation, and you had honestly gotten lost in the feeling of having him right there next to you. He was so quiet and calm… His breathing so even. You simply weren’t used to this side of Jeonghan. You weren’t used to him just… Existing beside you.

Seungcheol caught your attention, an eyebrow quirking towards you in your position. It was funny how he was always able to read that about you. Read exactly how you felt about a certain situation. You sent Seungcheol a small smile, but there was panic in it.

How were you actually supposed to act around Jeonghan? You still hadn’t really figured that out.

He liked you for you.

Okay.

The you that he had seen.

You tried to think back over the things that he had seen you do.

He had seen you at parties, and in class, but what had he gathered from those moments? He rarely saw you outside of that. What about you had really caught his eye?

His speech to you in the shower echoed through your mind but even still it was hard to garner… Exactly what he saw in you.

“I don’t think I’m getting much of this done,” Jeonghan said with a sigh. You turned your gaze down towards him a bit more, inclined to just nod slightly. You didn’t think he was getting much done either.

“I can help you more if you want-”

He waved it off and pulled himself off of you.

“That’s okay. I can just finish it another time. He got up to his feet and for a moment you just sat there and watched him before you realized oh, he was leaving the room. You got up to your feet too, giving Seungcheol and Jun a nod of farewell as you followed Jeonghan up the stairs. He walked into his room, and sat down on the edge of his bed, leaving you to close the door behind the two of you.

A smile crossed Jeonghan’s lips.

“Are you not a huge fan of pda?” He asked you lightly. The question caught you off guard.

“What?”

“Well, I just noticed that when it’s just the two of us, I can do whatever I want… Kiss you, play around with you, you don’t really mind,” he commented. “At parties you don’t mind when my hands are all over you but when we’re in front of the boys…”

He trailed off, leaving you to just stand there in front of him with a red face. You decided after a few moments of embarrassing silence to walk over to him. Once again, he reached up to you and pulled you down towards him by your cheeks, pulling you into a deep kiss.

You melted under his touch, placing your hands on his shoulders for better purchase as he practically kissed the breath out of you. As he kissed you, his hands trailed down your cheeks to your neck, the thumbs of his fingers brushing at the roots of your hair as he palms pushed you closer to him, rendering you unable to pull away if you wanted to.

You didn’t mind that, you didn’t want to pull away.

After a few minutes Jeonghan finally pulled away from you to let you breathe, and you both panted as you looked at one another, eyes wide, bodies warm.

“What was that for?” You asked lightly. He just smiled.

“Just testing my theory,” he said lightly. He pulled back a bit, one of his hands raising to pinch your cheek. “You really do get embarrassed over the pda.”

You swatted his hand away from you and plopped yourself down next to him, dropping your face into his shoulder.

“No, I don’t,” you mumbled. He hummed.

“Right,” he agreed lightly. “You definitely don’t. Not even a little. Just like being emotionally vulnerable doesn’t embarrass you.”

You groaned, letting your eyes close in frustration. As you sat there with your head on his shoulder he reached around you, his fingers finding their way to your waist, his fingers dipping under your shirt.

“But you know what really doesn’t embarrass you?” He asked you softly. You glanced up at him, placing your chin on his shoulder, already able to recognize the dark look in his eyes. You swallowed hard and nodded once.

“Y-yes,” you mumbled. He hummed at your words, his fingers pinching your side.

“If you know so well you should show me,” he replied softly. “Show me exactly what you can do that proves that I don’t embarrass you. That you aren’t embarrassed of me.”

“You don’t embarrass me,” you insisted, pushing yourself off of Jeonghan.

“I don’t?” He asked. “Is that why you get so embarrassed when I’m touching you in front of the boys? Because you aren’t embarrassed of me?”

“I’m not-”

“Get undressed,” Jeonghan said, his voice lowering a bit. You swallowed but quickly got to your feet, beginning to pull your clothes off. You knew that recently you had been a brat when you were with Jeonghan, and today? You thought that you would really regret it if you kept up that behavior.

As soon as your last article of clothing fell to the floor Jeonghan was staring at you, leaning back on the palm of his hands.

His gaze may be dark, but there was admiration in his eyes regardless. A small smile graced his lips.

“You’re so perfect,” he mumbled softly. “Your body made just for me huh?”

Your face flushed red, and it made Jeonghan chide.

“There you go again you liar,” he chided. “Clearly being embarrassed because of me. And still you lie.”

“It’s just-” Obviously you were a little embarrassed. Standing there in front of him naked. He was just staring at you with seemingly no urge to do anything. God you really, really hoped that you two weren’t doing this again today. “Jeonghan please I can’t deal with the teasing today.”

He quirked his head a little so that you would come closer to him. You closed the distance between the two of you and he raised his arms, quirking an eyebrow at you. You knew what he was asking without having to hear him say it. You pushed his shirt up over his head and set it aside on the bed, before dropping down to your knees in front of him. You slid his clothes off until, like you, he was completely naked. You swallowed hard when you saw his already hard cock in front of you.

Had you forgotten how big it was? It was like every time you saw it was a brand-new reminder.

That’s not going to fit but it has fit before.

Jeonghan leaned forward, his hand coming to your chin and his thumb pressing to your bottom lip, you obediently opened your mouth, sucking the tip of his finger into your mouth. You were slapped, hard, a gasp ripping from your mouth at the touch, only to be met with a soothing hand on the cheek that he had just hit immediately after.

“Poor little thing, did that surprise you?” He asked you, a fake expression of concern on his face. You pressed your lips firmly together, not really sure what you should say in response to him. That earned you another slap, except on the opposite cheek. “I asked you a question.”

“It only surprised me a little bit,” you blurted out, your hands reaching for Jeonghan’s legs to keep yourself steady. He readjusted his weight a little, his hands threading into your hair.

“Only a little bit,” he said, his tone a little mocking. He pulled your head roughly up by the strands of your hair. You hissed in surprise. “What’s your safe word?”

A quick exclamation of your safe word and Jeonghan was letting go of your hair, but only a second later he had both hands on the side of your head, pushing you down onto his cock. He didn’t try to ease you down on it, and it was when your hands quickly grabbed at Jeonghan’s hips that you could feel the pent-up energy in his body. He wasn’t here to play coy today. He needed to just use you however he wanted to.

You urged yourself to breathe in through your nose as you choked around Jeonghan’s cock. He ignored your chokes in favor of holding your head still and thrusting his hips up into it. His moans were low, little praises leaving his mouth alongside them. His thrusts rough in a way that made spit dribble down your chin, but you didn’t even care. It didn’t bother you at all because all you could think about was how good it was going to feel when he came down your throat and then fucked you like a rag doll…

You tapped on Jeonghan’s thigh, and his grip loosened enough for you to pull off his cock. You gasped for air but that wasn’t why you had asked for a break.

“C-Can, I touch myself?” You stammered. Jeonghan’s light air of concern disappeared instantly, and instead it was replaced by one of pitied amusement.

“Oh, you poor little girl,” he said softly. “So turned on by me fucking your mouth that you need to touch your needy little pussy?”

You nodded, rubbing your thighs together in anticipation. The more time that passed… The more you thought about it, the more desperately you needed to touch yourself.

“Please Jeonghan,” you said lightly. He hummed, and his grip tightened around the sides of your head again, leading your lips back to his cock.

“Sure,” he agreed. “Go ahead.”

He went back to fucking your mouth just as roughly, but this time you let one of your hands snake down to your clit, the other wrapping around your breasts, pinching your tit. You whined as Jeonghan pummeled your mouth so hard you thought your jaw was going to hurt later, but no complaints would be heard from you even if you could vocalize them. It wasn’t long before you were fucking yourself on three fingers at the same speed as Jeonghan was fucking your face.

You could feel pleasure building in your stomach, but you knew that there was nothing you could do but avoid your clit and fight against the upcoming orgasm.

Luckily. You didn’t have to fight it for long. Without warning Jeonghan was coming down your throat. You tried your best to keep it all down, but he did that thing he liked to do to try and get you to misbehave. He pulled you off of his cock suddenly and you choked, but before you could lose it you coughed some of his cum out into the palm of your hands.

You tried to catch your breath, but Jeonghan grabbed your hand that had the spit up cum in it and pressed it against your face, smearing the cum all over your cheeks.

He sighed.

“Still can’t keep all of that cum down,” he said with a disappointed sigh. His thumbed prodded at your chin, and he seemed to admire the way your face looked after having fucked it. You could tell he wasn’t satisfied.

He slapped your cheek, causing you to stumble a little, your fingers digging into his legs. It was embarrassing how quickly that pain morphed into pleasure that went coiling through your body.

You hoped he didn’t hit you again solely because you genuinely thought you were going to come practically untouched if he did.

“Your face wasn’t red enough,” Jeognhan mumbled. He suddenly spit on your face, and before you could really react to it, he was dragging you up by your hair and shoving your face into the carpet of his floor. He slapped your ass until you were struggling to put it up in the air so that he could line himself up with your cunt and push into you.

His cock was already fully hard when he slid into you, and it cause a loud moan to erupt from the both of you. He repositioned himself so that he could press his foot to your cheek, pressing your face harder into the carpet.

“Shut up,” he mumbled and began to fuck you just as roughly as he had been before. Your whole body bounced with each thrust, and this angle would have been uncomfortable if it weren’t for the fact that Jeonghan was so literally using you.

You loved the dirty talk, you loved the teasing, you loved the torture he practically always put you through but the feeling of the carpet on your cheek, and the ball of his foot smushing your cheek made you feel like you genuinely meant nothing to him.

He didn’t care about your comfort, or your pleasure, he didn’t even want to hear your moans. He just wanted to fuck you, use you like a cum dump and move on.

You felt your body shaking and despite the way that your fingers were balled against the carpet to try and prevent yourself from doing this, you could feel yourself coming hard on Jeonghan’s cock. Jeonghan laughed in slight amusement as he felt your body shaking under him.

“God isn’t that embarrassing for you?” He chided. “Coming from sex like this? You’ll get off to just about anything.”

He didn’t say anything more before he was spilling his cum into your pussy. Again, no warning, and when your body twitched, an involuntary (and unwanted) jerk away from Jeonghan, he was pulling you back hard against him, forcing you to take every last drop.

It wasn’t until his cock had fully softened inside of you that he finally withdrew his foot, letting your body contort into a more natural shape. He let go of you and you crumbled to the floor in an exhausted heap, cum still on your face and dripping from your pussy.

For a second, you were reminded of your old partners in the way that Jeonghan seemed to have completely left you there.

But it was only a fleeting thought, a brief second before you felt Jeonghan’s body right next to you. He laid down on the floor next to you, holding a small washcloth that you wondered where he had gotten. He touched the cloth which felt cold against your very warm face.

You groaned as he began to clean the cum and spit off of your face, and you tried to swat him away because wasn’t this the worst part of it. You wondered what he saw when he looked at you after something like this. Did he see you as weak?

“Are you okay?” He mumbled softly. You let your eyes flutter shut, and you nodded silently.

“Was that, okay?” He asked. You had always wondered why he did this. Asked you all these questions after fucking you as if he hadn’t just given you the biggest orgasm and then you realized that maybe this came with what he had been talking about that one time…. Validation.

“I really liked it,” you said softly. You let your eyes flutter open so that he could see the honesty in them. “It felt so good to be used like that… Especially by someone that I trust.” Two more words hung silently in the air. Two words that you felt like you should add but… You didn’t.

“Good,” he murmured softly. “You did really good for me too. You held back an orgasm for so long, didn’t you?”

Your face flushed in embarrassment. Shame at having come without permission, but the shame didn’t last long. Jeonghan pressed a kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” he assured you softly. “Thanks for letting me use you like that. Now… Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to sleep, hm?”

Jeonghan leaned up and tried to get you to come up with him but, you stayed stubbornly in your heap of weak limbs on the floor.

“I’m tired,” you mumbled softly, ignoring the way that Jeonghan was nudging you, clearly trying to get you to get up a little but you still refused to move.

“Y/n, I don’t want to play this game,” Jeonghan said softly. You whined. “Seriously. You’ve got no excuse this time. After care.”

“This borders on abuse,” you mumbled even though it was quite literally the complete opposite of that. You peeked up at Jeonghan’s face and sighed, swinging your feet over the edge of the bed.

“And you’re so stupid when it comes to all of this,” Jeonghan replied. He took you by your forearm to help you to your feet and when you stumbled, he let out a small laugh, tapping your side.

“Hands up,” he said softly. You rolled your eyes but raised your arms so that he could slide a shirt over your head. He tugged it down tightly and sighed happily as he took you in.

“You in my clothes…” He sighed dreamily. “A sight I’ll never get tired of.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Then why’d you buy me all those clothes that one time? Waste of money if you ask me,” you murmured. He laughed again.

“I got legos out of that deal. That’s a win-win in my book,” he insisted. You rolled your eyes again at him.

“I can take a shower myself,” you commented pointedly.

“Okay,” Jeonghan agreed with a nod. “You want me to make you something to eat?”

Your mind flashed back to the last time Jeonghan had cooked for you.

“Define make.”

He rolled his eyes.

“A sandwich. I can’t mess up a sandwich now, can I?”

You supposed he was right about that. “Okay. I’ll come downstairs and join you after a shower.”

“Good.”

You went to step away from Jeonghan but before you could he grabbed your hand and pulled you back to him. He placed both of his hands on the side of your face and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I love you.”

You gave him a smile back, wondering if you could echo his words, but before you even got the chance he was walking out of the room.

Once you had showered, and Jeonghan had showered, and you two had eaten there was much discourse on whether or not you would stay the night.

“I have to get to class early tomorrow Jeonghan.”

“Okay? I’ll drive you. I want to have you close. At least if I can’t come over let me stay over with you.”

With that option being promptly knocked out of the air you found yourself laying right next to a reading Jeonghan, silence filling the air as the time ticked by. You were enjoying being there. Enjoying just spending time in his space.

But still it was giving yourself time to think.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, your eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“You know what I don’t even really know what kinks you’re into,” you said suddenly. Jeonghan glanced at you from where he was pulling a shirt on.

“Come on,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “You know that’s not true.”

“Not like…” You trailed off in frustration. “Obviously I know some of what you’re into but not like all of it.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“Okay, what else do you want to know?” He asked lightly.

“I want…” You trailed off and pulled out your phone until you got the website that you were looking for. You pressed it into his hands. He hummed in amusement at the site.

“Okay.”

It took him about thirty minutes, and in those thirty minutes you ended up playing on his phone. Something that didn’t bother him even a little bit.

“I don’t want to impede your privacy.”

“Impede all you want. I have no secrets from you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him slightly.

“So, you wouldn’t even mind if…”

He handed you his phone with his text messages open.

“Have a hay day.”

You hadn’t even really intended to go through his messages but none of the games on his phone really interested you. You were pretty deep in the Alpha Mu boys group chat when finally, Jeonghan was clearing his throat.

“Okay. Here are your results,” he said. He handed you your phone and you very quickly dropped his into his hands as well, desperate to see what the test had to say.

Dominant, obviously, masochist, brat tamer… Your eyebrow rose in surprise.

“You’re into bondage?” You asked. “Why don’t you ever tie me up?”

“For the same reason that you rarely see me be a brat tamer,” Jeonghan replied pointedly. “You’re a very good listener.”

As he spoke, he tapped the side of your face with a small smile.

“If I ask you to hold your hands up and for you not to touch, you will hold your hands up and you won’t touch.”

You nodded slowly, a small hum vibrating through your body.

“It’d be easier for me if you did tie me up every once in a while,” you mumbled softly. “Do you even know how hard it is to have the kind of self-control you want me to have?”

A satisfied smile crossed Jeonghan’s lips.

“But you have that self-control,” he said lightly. “And that’s part of why I love you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed just slightly in frustration but before you could say anything Jeonghan was shifting his weight, trapping you between his arms. A strand of his hair fell in his face, a small mischievous smile spread over his lips.

“But if being tied up is what you want…” He trailed off as one of his fingers stroked down your arm to your wrists. “I can make that happen.”

Your stupid face betrayed your emotions as always, turning a deep red.

“I-”

“But only if you wanted to, of course. I can plan it out and everything,” he said, pulling away from you. You took a deep breath that you hadn’t even realized you were holding. You nodded slowly and cleared your throat.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.”

“You know, if you want to do other things in the bedroom, I would be more than happy to fulfill those desires,” Jeonghan commented. “You don’t have to hide all your secret fantasies from me.”

Again, your face was burning. You laid down in his bed and pulled his covers up over you.

“I’m going to bed now,” you announced. Jeonghan laughed and his hand fell onto your head, giving you a solid few taps.

“Good night y/n. I love you.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes staring into Jeonghan’s closet.

“Good night, Jeonghan.”

-

Your days with Jeonghan became like that. A pattern that you didn’t think you would ever grow tired of. Sometimes he came over, sometimes you went over to him.

It wasn’t like you two were inseparable. No, you spent time apart. You still studied with Yeongtae, and you mostly slept over at your place when you knew that Jeongyeon was going to be there. But the pattern of just… Spending time with Jeonghan was something you never realized that you would love so much.

Especially not when it came to attending parties.

“Today is the day, I can just feel it.”

You glanced at Yeongtae, your eyebrows raising skeptically as you tugged down your skirt a little bit.

“You’ve really gotta stop obsessing over-”

“Chaeryeong is here,” Yeongtae interrupted. He turned to you. “How do I look?”

You rolled your eyes and patted him on the cheek.

“You look fine,” you said. “If she doesn’t like you like this than… I don’t know Tae maybe you should just give up.”

Yeongtae gave you an annoyed expression and turned away from you without a word, disappearing into the crowd. You sighed and made your way through people until you finally spotted Jeonghan talking to a group of people that (of course) you didn’t recognize.

He didn’t really acknowledge you when you joined him at his side, but his conversation partners did, giving you a small nod of acknowledgement.

“I just don’t really know what I want to do with my linguistics degree,” one of the guys admitted with a shrug. “Sure, I got a minor in teaching English as a second language, but I didn’t need a linguistics degree to do that. It just feels like I would be wasting my degree.”

The talk of degrees intrigued you, in a way that you couldn’t even try to hide. You glanced at Jeonghan to gauge his possible reaction to the mention of this guys’ major wondering if they possibly shared one. You couldn’t tell by looking at his face. Did he suit a linguistics degree?

“That’s not necessarily true,” one of the girls in the conversation commented. “I mean, you would have a better concept of language structure than people without your major. Besides there’s other things you can do with it.”

“You could go into translation,” you piped up. Your class about the psychology of language having coincided a lot with the linguistic major you now had a few friends that were aspiring linguists. “That’s really good for those who are introverts.”

“Translation would be fun, I’m just not good enough at it to go into it,” the guy said with a sigh. “I know so many less languages than my linguistic peers. I feel like I don’t really fit in with them.”

“Oh.”

That was a good point. All the linguists that you knew were pretty fluent in at least three languages. Meanwhile, as far as you knew, that wasn’t the case with Jeonghan. You frowned, slightly frustrated. You had really thought you were getting somewhere with that.

“Well, I’m a history major, and I don’t really know what to do with my degree either,” the girl piped up. She looked at you. “I’m Jiheon by the way.”

“Oh, right,” the guy said. He reached out his hand. “Kibum.”

You smiled and went to take it but just as you did Jeonghan’s arm came to your waist, and he tugged you a little closer to him. He smiled.

“This is y/n,” he said. “My girlfriend.”

Kibum’s face flushed a little and he dropped his hand back to his side. Him and Jiheon shared a glance.

“It’s really nice to meet you,” Jiheon said. “We’ve heard a lot about you. Jeonghan really likes you.”

That seemed to make Jeonghan a little annoyed. His hand slid up under your shirt to your bare back. You hummed.

“I would hope my boyfriend likes me,” you jested lightly. “But you were saying. History major.”

Jiheon nodded.

“Right. I just… Didn’t really think about it going in you know? I love history… It just made sense to become a history major. But what do you even do with that? Teach? Am I going to be a deadbeat history teacher for the rest of my life?”

“Surely there’s more that you can do with it than just become a history teacher,” you said.

“Well.” She sighed and brushed her hair out of her eyes, dragging your attention to that. Her hair. Oh my god, she was beautiful. Wide bright eyes, with her black hair pulled back into a high ponytail with wispy bangs framing her face. Perfect skin. Large hoop earrings. One of the prettiest smiles you had ever seen in your life.

And her outfit? Low-waisted wide-legged jeans, and a tight black crop top. It was the perfect I tried but not that hard look and you were so envious of it.

“I could go into the legal world,” she replied. “Become a paralegal… Believe it or not.”

You hummed and gestured towards her.

“I mean, that’s a good idea,” you said. You bumped Jeonghan with your elbow. “Isn’t that a good idea?”

He gave you a weird look but nodded and smiled at Jiheon.

“Whatever you decide to do with your degree I’m sure it will work out. You’re very smart,” he commented. “And Kibum. Not a lot of languages. Don’t you know four?”

“Not fluently,” he replied, a small pout crossing his lips. Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“Well, I’m a psychology major,” you commented. “Aiming to be a therapist.”

“Really?” Jiheon asked. “Have you ever thought about psychiatry?”

“In passing,” you replied with a nod. “I mean in a perfect world I could act as both, but I think that therapy is a better long-term solution to mental issues whereas obviously psychiatry can often be more short term.”

“But a faster short-term solution,” Jiheon pointed out. And she was smart too?

“Together a psychiatrist and I could solve a lot of issues for someone mentally ill,” you agreed. “We’ll see where the world takes me. If I don’t think I’m solving any issues I can always change my career.”

You hummed and then gestured to Jiheon.

“How do you two know Jeonghan?”

It was a struggle to ask if Jeonghan was a history major too. Did that suit him? You had never heard him talk about anything historical before.

“We met each other through… Oh who was it…” Jiheon murmured.

“Namjoon, I think,” Kibum said. “Didn’t he change his major like eight times before settling on public relations?”

Jiheon snapped.

“Yes, Namjoon!” She exclaimed. “He’s always throwing these wine parties specifically for socializing because… Public relations and we met there.”

“Wine parties…?” You echoed. Jiheon nodded.

“Who is going to say no to a good bottle of Moscato and a cheese platter?”

You laughed along with her and Kibum. Jeonghan still seemed a bit troubled. His fingers tickled at your back, practically begging you to inch closer to him. You ignored that, unable to imagine what exactly had bothered him about this conversation.

“So, I suppose you two don’t really know where the summer is going to take you?” You asked them conversationally.

“Actually, I am going to be interning at a law firm,” Jiheon commented. “Along with… Oh, Chayoung. Do you know Chayoung?”

“I know Chayoung,” Jeonghan replied with a nod. “Kibum, we met her at that mixer last semester?”

Kibum seemed stumped, as were you. How had you never met all these people that Jeonghan knew?

“Well, you know she’s in law school,” Jiheon continued. “We both got the internship… Thank god. I couldn’t imagine having to do it all alone.”

“I’m just taking a gap between school and work. I’m going to travel. Pick up some random jobs in different countries. Immerse myself in other cultures,” Kibum said.

You hummed, nodding.

You weren’t really sure what you were going to do after graduation honestly. Sure, you had always thought about it, but you didn’t know anything for sure. All you knew was that you didn’t want to stay here forever.

“Jeonghan used to have a pretty clear plan of what he wanted to do,” Jiheon commented. Her attention straying over to your boyfriend. “But from what I’ve heard you’ve changed a lot of your plans.”

A small, knowing smile was crossing her lips, and she teasingly flicked her thumb across his nose.

“All because you finally got the girl,” she said lightly. Your eyebrow rose slightly in surprise, but you tried to cover it with a laugh.

“We haven’t even talked about the future,” you replied. “We’ve only barely been dating.”

“Yeah, but hasn’t Jeonghan been in love with you since freshmen year?” Jiheon asked, her eyebrows raising knowingly. You tried not to look too surprised. You glanced at Jeonghan only to find that he was stunned. “He used to have this plan to… Oh what was it-”

“People change their career plans,” Jeonghan interrupted. “That’s just natural.”

“Yeah, but you did it because you want to fit y/n’s life plan as best as you can,” she replied. Again. Lightly, but confidently. “Do you even know how badly he wants to keep you?”

Jeonghan’s fingers were even more insistent on your back. You liked the touching, but you were a little focused on the conversation at hand.

“Jiheon has a scary talent for reading minds,” Kibum piped up. You gave him a skeptical expression.

“Reading minds?”

“I’m serious, how do you think she knows all that stuff about Jeonghan?”

“Just like I know that…” Jiheon trailed off and leaned close to you, her voice dropping a few degrees. “You haven’t told him you love him yet.”

Your eyes widened. All too telling. Even if you wanted to pretend that wasn’t true… Here it was. Written out all over your face. You glanced at Jeonghan, terrified that he had overheard even though, you were sure that he had noticed your avoidance of those choice three words. He looked a bit confused. No, confirmation that he had heard.

“Lucky guess,” you murmured. She shrugged knowingly, her ponytail falling back over her shoulder.

“Maybe,” she replied. “Or maybe I really do read minds.”

As she spoke, she wiggled her fingers and giggled as if it were all some huge joke. Luckily for you, Kibum was able to turn the conversation away from the topic of Jiheon reading minds and the future and after almost an hour of talking to them and Jeonghan fending off the attention of other girls he decided it was about time to retire back up to his room.

You forced him to stay downstairs a little bit longer so that you could say hi to all the other Alpha Mu boys and check in on Yeongtae who was fawning over a mostly unimpressed Chaeryeong like a puppy. You watched as Jeonghan changed out of his party clothes, looking to be a bit tired.

“Jiheon and Kibum were nice,” you said softly. He hummed his agreeance. “A history major and a linguistics major,” you pressed lightly. “Who all know a public relations major… Does that mean that I can take all of those out of consideration for your major?”

You laughed, and Jeonghan gave you an amused expression.

“Is that what you were thinking that whole time? While I was begging for your closeness. Desperate for your attention, you were worried about figuring out what my major is?”

Your face reddened just slightly.

“I should know these things about you,” you mumbled.

“You’ll figure it out,” Jeonghan said, again writing off your concerns. “Stop worrying so much.”

He rummaged through his things in his closet.

“I bought something for you actually,” he said. You sat so that your legs were swinging off of Jeonghan’s bed.

“Yeah?” You sort of hated when Jeonghan spoiled you. And you were going to say that, but your words died on your tongue when you saw exactly what Jeonghan was spoiling you with. A long strand of pink satin ribbon. You immediately pressed your lips together and tightened your legs.

You two were silent for a moment before you, without any real prompting said a soft I know my safe word. Jeonghan laughed.

“Satin ribbon isn’t really that good for bondage,” he said. He played with the material in his hands a little bit and after a few seconds of silence he raised an eyebrow at you. “Are you just going to sit there with your clothes on? Or are you going to be good and-”

You didn’t even let Jeonghan finish that before you were undressing and once you were naked and sitting on Jeonghan’s bed again he was talking.

“The satin will tighten and there can be some slippage if you struggle…” He trailed off as he approached you, running his hands lightly down your bare arms before resting on your wrists. He tugged you a bit so that your hands were in front of you on your lap and you stared at his face as he messed with the silk ribbon, tightening it around your wrists. “But I won’t have to worry about that with you, will I? Cause you’re so good for me?”

As he spoke, he leaned towards you, his warm breath teasing your lips. You felt your lip’s part a little in anticipation of a kiss but you fought it in you to close the distance between you two. You had a feeling that today you had a specific goal… Self-control.

Jeonghan’s hands slid down your body to your sides and he lightly ran his fingers up and down them. You whined, under the touch, but bite down on your bottom lip to try to keep the noise from coming out.

You could see the approval in Jeonghan’s eyes. He pulled away from you, and agonizingly slowly began to undress himself. You watched him eagerly. You were itching to touch him, but even if you wanted to you couldn’t.

You felt yourself tugging subconsciously at the restraints on your wrists, and just as Jeonghan said the satin got tighter. Jeonghan’s lips quirked upwards as he watched you. He dropped his last piece of clothing to the side and walked up to you, roughly gripping you by your hips and pulling you close to him. He smiled at you, placing a soft kiss to your lips as he stared at you.

“Do you like this so far?” He asked you. “You’re so completely helpless to me. Normally if you wanted to you could get away from me but I’ve got you all tied up now… You can’t do anything but let me use you.”

That statement sent warmth through your body, and a whine involuntarily escaped your lips.

“Oh, that’s what you like about this isn’t it?”

He pushed you back against his bed hard and sank down to his knees.

“You like being helpless to me,” he murmured, and his breath ghosted your clit. You openly whined again, not afraid to let your desperation show in a small wiggle of your hips. That earned you a sharp slap to your, thigh.

“Be. Good,” Jeonghan said sternly. He dipped forward again, his mouth pressing a small kiss to your clit. It made your whole body shiver, and you were expecting him to do something more but all he did was blow lightly on your clit.

“All mine to play with,” he said softly. “Do you think you could ever dom me, y/n?”

You were quiet for a little while, trying to figure out how to answer. He slapped your pussy and your whole body jumped.

“I-I don’t know,” you blurted out.

“The correct answer was that no. You couldn’t because you need me to tell you exactly what you want. You’re such a brainless slut that you can’t even think for yourself.”

Before you could confirm or negate his words (you weren’t sure which one you were supposed to do… God, he was right) Jeonghan had dove forward and began to suck at your clit.

You were already wet, soaked, dripping all over Jeonghan’s face. You could tell by the way he dipped his head lower, his tongue lewdly dipping inside of you, while one of his hands stretched your pussy lips out for him and his other hand pressed your pelvis down into the bed so that you couldn’t move.

You couldn’t help it, your upper body wiggled, and your arms thrashed a little, tugging at your restraints that only tightened as you moved your hands.

“God, you taste so fucking good,” Jeonghan mumbled in-between eating you out. He rested his cheek on your inner thigh as he peered up at you, pressing two fingers into you with ease. You mewled, still wiggling, desperate to be able to touch something but being completely unable to.

“This is entertaining,” Jeonghan commented, watching as your body twitched when he pressed his thumb to your clit. “Watching you so desperate to act up but being physically unable to.”

He groaned, turning his face into your thigh.

“And I’m so luckily… The only one who gets to be down here.”

He suddenly bit into your thigh, sucking a hickey into your skin there.

There were tears already running down your cheeks, but there was nothing you could do about them with your arms restrained.

Jeonghan pressed a soft kiss to the spot that he had left a mark on and pressed a third finger into you. He scissored the three fingers in and out of you.

“Always need to stretch you out a little before fucking you,” he replied. “Your poor little pussy can barely handle my cock.”

Jeonghan spit at your pussy and then slapped it hard, making your whole body jolt again. He got back up to his feet and grabbed you roughly by your wrists, tugging you across the bed so that your head was hanging off the side of it.

“But, let me get my dick wet before I break my pretty little toy.”

He shifted your tied up hands so that your fingers were by his thigh.

“Keep your hand there so you can tell me if you need me to stop,” he instructed. You barely got a: “yes sir” out before Jeonghan had plunged his cock down your throat. At first your jaw wasn’t wide enough, and you knew that because Jeonghan pulled his cock out of your mouth, slapped you hard and said: “Open up.” Before plunging his cock right back down into it.

You could feel his eyes on you as he pummeled his cock in and out of your mouth like it was your pussy. Groaning with every couching fit that he invoked but never stopping despite the coughs. He lowered one of his hands to your hair, and he tightly gripped the roots.

“Keep fucking moving…” He mumbled, threateningly, and then after going back to fucking your mouth he slapped at your breasts. You cried out at each hit, but the sound fell on mute ears as it was mostly muffled by Jeonghan’s cock down your throat.

Having him fuck your mouth at this angle was different for both of you. You felt like you could feel his cock stretching out your throat much more than you usually could when he fucked it. You were focusing hard on keeping your teeth off of his length.

And you could tell that he liked this angle better thanks to his small escapes of: “God your throat is so fucking tight.”

He fucked your mouth roughly just like that for only a few minutes before he, with no warning at all came down your throat. He pushed himself as far into you as he could, his balls resting against your forehead as his cock twitched the best it could inside of you.

He pulled his cock out of you before he was completely done, as always finding pleasure in the way you coughed up some of his cum, and the way that you twitched as he let the rest of his cum paint your face.

This time however he grabbed you by our cheeks, his fingers digging into them, forcing your mouth open. He leaned over and let a huge glob of spit drop into your mouth. He released your mouth, and you went to swallow it but before you could he was slapping you, and the spit was on your cheek.

He tutted in amusement.

“Stupid whore. So desperate to do good even though I never let you,” he murmured, the false sympathy sending warmth through your body.

“Wa-Wanna b-”

Before you could say anything more Jeonghan was dragging you off of his bed. You scrambled to keep yourself steady, as he dropped your back against his carpet. He kicked your thighs apart, and watched you wiggle on the ground, trying to get in the position he wanted you to be in. He hummed.

“You know what. Get up and crawl.”

Your eyes widened at the request… The order really but you instantly began to scramble and try to do what he wanted.

It was a struggle, but you were finally able to get on all fours like he wanted- Albeit not being very steady. Once you were up you looked up at Jeonghan, with your messy face and wide eyes and he reached behind you to slap your ass so hard that you fell on your face.

He laughed, a sadistic laugh that was so humiliating that it just made your pussy drip down your thighs. You finally got yourself back up and when you looked up at him, Jeonghan was right in front of you. His fingers ghosted just under your chin, and he smiled sweetly at you.

“Alright then. Crawl for me.”

He took a step back and tauntingly coaxed you forward, patting his knees lightly like you were a literal dog. You struggled forward, and every time you got close to him he was taking another step back.

“Go on then, you‘re walking like a bitch. Talk to me like one.”

Confusion riddled your body, and the hesitation it caused earned you a hard slap.

“I said, talk like a bitch.”

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head.

“Bark,” you said, your voice a little high. Jeonghan hummed, unamused.

“Bark like a bitch,” he reasserted. You barked again, and this time it must have been better because Jeonghan grabbed you by your hair and dragged you forward. He squished your mouth open again and forced his cock down your throat again.

You were so turned on now, it hurt, and you couldn’t help that even though the tears had stopped before they were rolling down your cheeks again. Jeonghan rolled his eyes at the display.

“You’re so fucking pathetic he mumbled.

He pulled you off of his cock again and you coughed for air and fought to steady yourself.

“Present yourself,” Jeonghan said.

You hesitated, looking up at him again with confused eyes.

“What is up with your hesitation?” He demanded. He grabbed you by your hair long enough to force your face into the carpet, and slapped your thighs so that your ass was higher in the air.

“Walk like a bitch, bark like a bitch, you’re going to take dick like a bitch.”

His fingers dipped between your folds, and you heard him tutting condescendingly.

“And your pussy is dripping… You’re a bitch in heat too huh?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he pressed his hand to the back of your neck, your arms stretched out in front of you and still tied together- the restraints only having gotten tighter since you two had started since you just couldn’t stop struggling.

“I guess I’ll just have to breed you like a bitch in heat too.”

Jeonghan didn’t bother easing his cock into you. He pushed himself into you in one swift thrust. You screamed into the carpet but that didn’t make Jeonghan very happy.

“Bitches don’t scream,” he murmured. “Bitches bark.”

Tears soaked the carpet in front of you, but you barked weakly in response to his words. Jeonghan then begun to relentlessly fuck you.

He didn’t seem to care about your own pleasure, which made you, of course, even more turned on.

He fucked you so hard that if it hadn’t been for the way he was pressing you into the carpet you would be sliding around like crazy. Your hands couldn’t help but thrash against each other, trying so hard to grab at anything but being completely unable to.

Jeonghan’s first orgasm came suddenly, and he didn’t even hesitate as he fucked his cum hard into you. It dragged an orgasm out of you that you didn’t get punished for. In fact, he didn’t even acknowledge it. Instead, he just fucked you through it, ignoring the way that your body was shaking and convulsing under him.

Instead of speaking you tried to let out weak barks in between your moans, to show him that you weren’t completely mindless but when your second orgasm dragged a second orgasm from him, the barks just became combined with broken sobs of pleasure, and they really were mindless.

Another orgasm wracked through your body, and you were just vaguely aware of Jeonghan saying: “Such a good little bitch, getting full of my cum.” As he came inside of you one more time.

Your whole body was shaking when he came to a full stop inside of you. He wrapped his arm around your waist so that you could fall limp under him.

“Do you feel that?” Jeonghan asked you slightly. “Do you feel all that cum that your dirty cunt is letting drip out of you.”

He shook his head- You could feel it- and sighed. “Your body still isn’t trained enough for this. You’re still not a perfectly good girl, are you?”

You let out a sob, and pushed yourself up on your elbows, looking back at Jeonghan over your shoulder.

“N-No I’m g-good, s-so good,” you blurted out. “I-I took all your cum. I’ll try to keep it in.”

“But you’re not a good girl,” Jeonghan reminded you. He pulled his cock out of you, and you instinctively pushed your ass up, trying to prevent his cum from dripping from you but despite your efforts you could feel all three of his loads gushing out of you.

You cried a little into the carpet, but it felt so good, that you almost didn’t care. Jeonghan let you sit like that for only a few seconds before he was kneeling in front of you. He pressed his lips to your pussy and began to lap at it, eating his own cum out of you until it genuinely felt like he had cleaned all of it out of you.

You felt him turning you around so that he leaned you up, pressing your back against the bed. He got on your lap, his limp cock brushing your hand. He ducked his head a little and began to kiss you, letting you taste the combination of your cum and his on his tongue.

As he kissed you, he lowered his hands to your wrists, and slowly, carefully began to undo your restraints.

It was a bit of a struggle, but Jeonghan was able to undo the satin pretty quickly. He loosely wrapped it around your neck, using the ends to keep your face close to his. He kissed you until you were even. Breathing even, body not shaking, his fingers rubbing soothing circles into the spots that the satin had pressed too hard into your skin. He broke the kiss, letting the satin fall over your chest.

“Does it hurt?” he asked you softly. He raised one of your wrists to his mouth so that he could press soft kisses over the marks. You decided to be honest.

“A little,” you mumbled. “But it was worth it.”

“Yeah?”

He raised his eyes back up to yours, looking into them to see if he could detect anything in them that suggested you were lying. “Did I do anything you didn’t like?”

He asked you softly. You shook your head. Sure, your face and your wrists and your ass all burned, and your jaw was sore from how hard he had been fucking your mouth, and you could still feel his spit on your cheek mixed with his cum and your tears, but you felt so satisfied. So proud of yourself for being able to keep up.

“I liked all of it,” you murmured, and as you admitted it your voice dropped a little and so did your eyes. Jeonghan lightly raised your chin up so that you were looking at him again.

“You’re so silly,” he admonished lightly. “Nothing to be shy about. You did so good for me. Do you know that? You’re always such a good girl for me.”

Your eyes involuntarily teared up a little at that, and a few stray tears ran down your cheeks.

“I’m good for you,” you repeated like a whisper. Jeonghan nodded and kissed away your tears.

“You are always good for me,” he reassured. “And I love you, you know that?”

You nodded, keeping his gaze.

“What do you think?” He asked softly. “A bath or a shower?”

You groaned and dropped your head onto his shoulder.

“I hate you,” you mumbled, and it made him laugh.

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” he said softly. “We’ll get you nice and clean yeah? And you wanted to watch that show with me, didn’t you?”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you peeked up at him suspiciously.

“We get to watch a show?” You asked, surprised by how… Childish it sounded coming out of your mouth. Jeonghan nodded his confirmation.

“Of course,” he assured softly. “And I can go get us some food too. Mingyu made soup the other day.”

You frowned at him.

“Can you….” Your face was starting to burn again. “Take the bath with me.”

Jeonghan laughed softly and he nodded.

“Of course, I can, baby.”

He pressed a small kiss to your lips.

“You’re so good for me.”

After a warm and thorough bath, Jeonghan did as he promised, retrieving some of the best soup that you had ever had before, and settling next to you in his bed so that you two could watch the show you’d been wanting to watch with him for weeks.

You fell asleep partway through the second episode, with your head on his chest.

-

You dipped into the fridge as per Jeonghan’s request trying to locate the banana milk in question.

“You shouldn’t enable his banana milk addiction,” Minghao warned. You glanced back at him. “You know he’s lactose intolerant right?”

Your eyes widened and you turned to Jeonghan who had fixed Minghao under a death glare, when he looked at you however his angry expression disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place.

“I’m not lactose intolerant,” he said with a laugh. “Come on, who would you believe? Minghao or me?”

You pointed at Minghao without a second thought.

“Minghao,” you replied pointedly. To his credit he did look offended. A pout crossed his lips.

“This relationship is built on a foundation of trust-” You raised your eyebrows towards him, and he closed his mouth. “I’m not that lactose intolerant.”

You rolled your eyes but turned back into the fridge, grabbing two of the small cartons of the banana milk. You walked back over to the table and set one of the cartons in front of him. He smiled brightly, and reached up towards you, pulling you down to him by the back of your neck.

He pressed a kiss to your lips.

“See? This is why I love you,” he said softly. “You do whatever I want you to.”

You smiled against his lips, but you pulled away anyways, trying to hide it.

“So, you like me because I’m complacent?” You asked him. Jeonghan’s grip on you loosened and you sat back down next to him, your shoulder brushing against his.

“I do,” Jeonghan agreed. “I thought you knew that?”

“Just wondered if you would admit it in front of Minghao.”

“We all know why Jeonghan likes you and it isn’t because you’re complacent,” Minghao mumbled, and despite the expression on his face there was a twinge of amusement in the tone of his voice.

“Everyone knows why Jeonghan likes me…?” You repeated. You glanced at Jeonghan, who looked like he was tuning the both of you out. He had the small bendy straw of his milk in his mouth. “I doubt that.”

“He talks about you more than you think,” Minghao replied.

“You’re being annoying Minghao, she knows how much I like her.”

You did know, and honestly the expression on Jeonghan’s face was cute. Eyebrows furrowed in frustration, his fingers clutching the cartoon he was holding a bit too tight. Minghao rolled his eyes at Jeonghan.

“Fine, I’ll leave you two alone.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything, his eyes stayed stuck on a spot on the table.

“Bye Minghao,” you said. He hummed as he slipped out of the room, leaving you two alone. You and Jeonghan sat for a few seconds in silence before you finally scooted towards him. You raised a hand to his face, his cheek so smooth under your touch.

“Jeonghan,” you coaxed softly, your thumb running over his cheek bone.

He hummed, keeping his eyes away from you, ignoring you. You sighed.

“Jeonghan,” you repeated. His eyes flickered to you so briefly before looking away again. “Jeonghan, why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset love,” he said, but you could tell that wasn’t true. You pouted just a bit.

“Yes, you are,” you pressed. You pressed at his face, trying to get him to look at you more insistently. He did, giving you a pressed smile.

“Why would I be upset?” He asked. Your gaze sharpened. He sighed. “He talks about you more than you think.”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“What?”

“More than you think,” Jeonghan repeated. “As if I don’t say it. The implication that you don’t know that I like you.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that,” you said softly. He sighed, again, looking away from you.

“They all think like that. Because I have always been so emotionally repressed they think that Yoon Jeonghan doesn’t know how to share affection.”

“You’re really good at showing affection,” you said, and you were being completely honest. “Well… After that whole lying about fucking others fiasco.”

Jeonghan gave you a distraught look.

“Okay, I’m kind of bad at showing affection, but you know that I love you.”

You nodded your confirmation.

“I know that you love me.”

He sighed and turned to look at you more straight on. He raised his hands to cup your face in the way that he liked to so much. His thumbs brushed over your cheekbones, and his eyes trailed over your features. Your cheeks reddened at the attention but you stayed silent regardless, letting him look at you.

You would never understand why but… It always comforted him.

After a few minutes he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips. Not deepening it. Making it very chaste, smile against your lips as he did it.

“I never doubt that you love me,” you mumbled. Jeonghan pulled back, giving you a slightly skeptical look. “I don’t doubt it. I just… Don’t always understand it.”

Jeonghan hummed, and pulled away from you, glancing at his phone on the counter.

“I have a class to get to,” he said with a sigh. “Where do you want a ride to?”

“I want to get some walking in,” you replied. “I’ll see you on…” You trailed off. “Well. Soon?”

Jeonghan paused, frowning.

“…Soon?” He asked. You frowned back at him.

“I’m busy. I can’t keep spending every day with you.”

Now it was Jeonghan’s turn to look distraught.

“You’re leaving me?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Shut up,” you mumbled. “I just need a few days to study and things.”

“You can study with me.”

“Don’t you respect my space?” You asked him. He rolled his eyes. You both knew the answer to that.

Not really.

“I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Friday?” Jeonghan blurted. You rolled your eyes and stood up, leaning down to press a small kiss to Jeonghan’s forehead, mirroring what he would normally do with you.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder you know?”

You knew that Jeonghan didn’t believe that. That he was very quality time.

But you needed to study a bit more, so you were going to have to focus on that. And you were a lot less distracted when you were studying without Jeonghan around.

-

Your attention to your homework was dragged away by the distinct sound of Jeonghan’s voice. Your eyebrows furrowed a bit as you looked across the library, seeing Jeonghan standing a few tables away with a backpack hanging off one of his shoulders. A smile flickered across your lips- Unwarranted- But it died when you realized who he was saying hi to.

It was some girl- Why was it always some girl?- And you could hear a giggle echo from her lips across the library. She was in an ungodly short skirt, with a tight crop top on and she looked so hot. It wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t hear their conversation, but you could see that Jeonghan was actually interested in it. Maybe he pretended not to be interested in conversations for your sake when he knew that you were there. He had a small smile on his lips talking to her. A cute smile. He looked so cute. She looked so happy. Stupid smile on both of their lips.

As Jeonghan spoke, he turned his head slightly, his hair brushing over his shoulder. You thought for a moment he was going to see you but just before his eyes fell on you, they darted back to the girl.

“Y/n, what are you looking at?”

You ripped your eyes away from Jeonghan. Briefly, in order to look at Yeongtae.

“My boyfriend,” you mumbled. You only added the next part because it was Yeongtae and he knew you didn’t mean it. “And his hot new girlfriend.”

Yeongtae glanced over his shoulder, following your eye line and sighed.

“Are you kidding me?” He asked bluntly. “Didn’t you ditch him today?”

You felt something uncomfortable brewing in your stomach and you knew you needed to look away.

“I didn’t ditch him,” you mumbled. “I just don’t get that much work done around him! It’s just a few days.”

“You ditched him,” Yeongtae repeated. “And now you’re jealous.” He waved his pencil through the air. “Toxic, toxic, toxic.”

You kicked Yeongtae from under the table, causing him to curse.

“You’re gonna fall another quiz if you keep acting like that.”

That shut Yeongtae up and allowed you to keep your eyes on Jeonghan.

You rubbed the balls of your feet against the floor, finally deciding that you couldn’t just watch him talk to her anymore but you obviously also couldn’t not watch. You pulled out your phone and typed out a quick text message: Studying is so uneventful.

You sent it before you could think over it too much.

You didn’t care if it wasn’t characteristic of you to say. You didn’t have the energy to think about something that felt more natural.

You watched Jeonghan immediately shift his body, attention still on the girl in front of him. He pulled his phone from his pocket, glancing at the screen for just a second. He gave the girl a serious look, one that you couldn’t really pinpoint the emotion of.

“One second, it’s my girlfriend.”

The acknowledgment of your existence was enough to have you breathing easy again, but the feeling of ease was ripped away from you when your phone started to vibrate in your hands. Your eyes widened and you immediately answered the phone, dropping your voice as much as you could so that Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to hear.

“Hey,” you said. “What- I can’t really talk right now, I’m-”

“You feel better now?” As Jeonghan spoke his head turned, his eyes falling to you. He had a large playful smile on his lips as the two of you made eye contact, making your face darken in embarrassment.

“I-”

Jeonghan’s laugh was so genuine. He dropped one of his hands to cover the microphone of the phone as if it would make you unable to hear him.

“That’s my girlfriend over there,” he clarified. His eyes only flickered away from you for a moment. He dropped his phone to his side saying a: “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Before making his way over to you. You could hear the shuffling of his shirt against his phone as he walked over to you, and you held it to your face as if that would make this less humiliating. You looked down at your homework, your lips pressing together but you were only looking like that for a few moments before Jeonghan’s hand was on your chin and he was turning your face to his. He still had such a bright smile on his face.

“Did you think I didn’t know you were there?” He asked you lightly. “You are the very first thing I notice when I walk into a room.”

He willed your lips closer to his and then, before he could kiss you he pulled away from you completely, his hand dragging lightly along your back as he dragged the chair out next to you and took a seat beside you.

“Yeongtae,” he greeted.

“Hi,” Yeongtae said back. You buried your face in your hands, peeking out at Yeongtae between the spaces of your fingers. He gave you a very brief panicked look and then dropped his eyes back down to his own homework. You sighed, and turned your head to face Jeonghan who was looking down at the laptop that he had brought out of his backpack.

“You have class with her?” You asked him. You knew how it sounded but you really didn’t mean it that way. You were prying for the sake of more information about him, not for information about her. Jeonghan hummed.

“Yeah.”

He fell silent, making frustration bubble into your throat.

“What class?” You prodded.

“An ISS course, People and the Environment,” Jeonghan replied, and the ambiguity of it was driving you even crazier. People and the Environment? What did someone even learn in a class like that? ISS courses were required in basically every single major at the university. It didn’t narrow down anything at all.

“I guess it’s just one course huh,” you continued pressing. “Probably just met her.”

“No, we’ve had classes together every year,” Jeonghan negated. “We’re applying for the same internship this summer.”

Internship? Classes every year?

You could feel the jealousy building impossibly harder at the thoughts and it wasn’t even because Jeonghan was with that girl it was because she knew more about him than you did. Thoughts of them sitting next to each other in classes flooded your head. The unspoken bond that was surely between the two of them was something that you would never achieve with him yourself.

Yeah, Jeonghan loved you and you were dating him, but this girl knew him. And you didn’t.

“You’re applying for an internship this summer?” You asked softly. Jeonghan nodded again and he turned to you.

“I am,” he agreed. “But I’ll still be in town, you don’t have to worry about missing me.”

He was teasing you. Teasing you and it was about something that you weren’t even worried about.

“What’s the internship for?” You pressed but, Jeonghan’s smile only grew.

“Now, now, are you cheating?” He chided. “You’re trying to get my major out of me. You’ve just got to let these things happen.”

“But-” Before you could get anything out, Jeonghan’s hand was being pressed distractingly to your face.

“Let it happen naturally,” he murmured, ignoring your spluttering protests. You heard Yeongtae let out a snicker.

“It is natural,” you insisted. “You would just… Tell me what your internship is going to be, and I would figure out your major… Naturally.”

Jeonghan leaned close to you, his thumb flickering over your bottom lip.

“It will come naturally,” he assured you softly. His thumb slipped under your chin and he coaxed your face closer to his. Once his lips were close enough to yours, he gave you a chaste kiss, pulling back before he could give you anything of real substance. “Just as natural as I get to kiss you.”

Jeonghan smiled at you and gestured at your homework.

“Shouldn’t you get back to work? I didn’t come here to distract you.”

That brought up a whole different question: “Why did you come here?”

“Because you were here,” Jeonghan replied as if it were obvious. His gaze flickered back to yours, recognizing your confusion and he gestured off-handedly back at Yeongtae. “Yeongtae told me that you two were studying here.”

Your confusion only grew.

“When did you and Yeongtae start talking?” You asked. Jeonghan turned his attention back to his own work, his hand falling on your thigh as he scooted his chair closer to you.

“We just did. Sometime after you and I got together.”

You shot Yeongtae a half-glare and as soon as he caught sight of it his eyes were widening and he was zoning back into his work.

“I’m glad you two are getting along,” you said, turning back to face Jeonghan. He still wasn’t looking at you, but his thumb dragged a small circle into your thigh to prove that he was listening. “But it feels a bit like you’re plotting against me.”

Both boys ignored you. You sighed.

Fine.

You turned your attention back to your own work. Just the outline of a presentation you would have to do soon. You tapped your pencil in irritation against the table, your thoughts unable to turn away from your boyfriend next to you.

You pulled your laptop out, beginning to boot it up, and as you waited for it to let you log on you glanced over at Jeonghan. He seemed to be reading something, and he was scary focused. So focused that he didn’t even notice that you were staring.

A thought shot through your head, that if you looked at whatever paper Jeonghan was reading maybe you would be able to figure out what he was reading. And maybe that would give you some kind of indication as to what he was studying.

You pressed your lips together and turned your attention to his computer, trying to make it seem like you were still just watching your own. You tried to pick out the words on his screen but you couldn’t see. You tried to look better but just as you did Jeonghan was squeezing your side, and turning his computer screen.

“Stop reading my homework,” he chided. You groaned, your head falling onto Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Jeonghan please just tell me what your major is,” you begged softly. “I’m never just going to figure it out, I’m not a figure it out kind of person I’m a you tell me and I remember it kind of person.”

“You’ve got to learn to be patient,” he chided you softly. “You’ll figure it out at some point.”

You didn’t move from where you were sitting a surely pouting at Jeonghan but all he did was swipe his thumb across your chin, press a small kiss to your lips, and smile at you.

“Get back to studying.”

-

“Alright, alright,” Yeongtae pressed as you two watched Jeonghan’s car disappear around the corner. “Let it out.”

“Let what out?” You asked him, shrugging your bag further up on your shoulder.

“It,” Yeongtae encouraged. You considered pretending that you didn’t know what he was talking about, but after only a few seconds you decided that you didn’t want to.

“I don’t know anything about him,” you blurted frustratedly. “Like, anything about him… At all.”

“That’s not true,” Yeongtae denied but you ignored him, waving your hands in the air wildly.

“I don’t know his major. I didn’t know he was lactose intolerant. I-”

“What are you expecting?” Yeongtae interrupted, even though he had been then one telling you to just let it out. “That you would just know everything about him?”

You pressed your lips together in frustration.

“Well-”

“You don’t just magically learn things about people,” Yeongtae mumbled. Your annoyance only built inside of you.

“Obviously I know that Yeongtae,” you replied. “It’s just… Why does everyone else know so much more about him then me?”

“Because they’ve known him longer,” Yeongtae pointed out.

“Not even just… That girl from his class, or the boys of Alpha Mu,” you argued back. “Ask anyone something random about him and I bet that they could name more than me.”

“Well…” Yeongtae sighed and rolled his eyes. “I mean… Yeah. He’s Yoon Jeonghan.”

Another starking reminder of the thing that you always forgot. There were a lot of people who were interested in Jeonghan. Not even just Jeonghan but all the boys of Alpha Mu. Especially now that you were really welcome over there all the time… It was easy to forget that Jeonghan wasn’t just Jeonghan.

He was Yoon Jeonghan.

You had tried to tell him that that was something that bothered you and even so in such a short amount of time you had forgotten.

You fell back against your chair, shoving the back of your head into the headrest.

“Yoon Jeonghan. I’m dating Yoon Jeonghan.”

-

You stood in front of Jeonghan’s class nervously, your fingers toying with the strands of your backpack.

This was humiliating. Really.

First, texting Seungcheol ahead of time to ask him what Jeonghan’s schedule was…. The: what could you possibly want that for? ㅋㅋ, made you want to scream into your pillow.

… You did in fact scream into your pillow over it.

But this too? You weren’t this kind of person. You didn’t go behind people’s backs and figure out their schedules. You didn’t surprise people out of the blue. You weren’t the person who did these things in relationships.

The door to the classroom popped open and students began to pour out of the classroom. You sucked in a deep breath, your head dipping slightly to try and avoid garnering too much attention to yourself. You realized quickly however that just seeing shoes wasn’t going to be super helpful in getting Jeonghan’s attention. You let your eyes trail back up and you noticed as Jeonghan slipped outside of the classroom. He was next to someone you didn’t recognize. A girl… Long hair. Not the same girl from the library.

You felt your fingernail pressing into the pad of your thumb, you were so nervous. You shouldn’t have just showed up. You should have texted him. You thought about just walking away but you shook it out of your head.

“Jeonghan,” you called, but it was so quiet. You could barely hear yourself. You cleared your throat. “Jeonghan.”

He was talking to the girl. He still didn’t seem able to hear you over his classmates. You sucked in a sharp breath and then, pulling on your backpack straps, you walked towards Jeonghan and his classmate.

You couldn’t hear what they were talking about… Unfortunate. Maybe it would give you a clue on what his major was.

“… but when he mentioned the problem on page 83 tha-”

“Y/n?” Jeonghan interrupted the conversation, his lips quirking up into a smile. You stopped walking, a smile flickering across your face as well as he changed the direction, he was walking so that he could come straight over to you. You lifted your head up a little as he came close to you so that it would be easy for him to press a small kiss to your lips- Which he did- and once he had pulled back, he was smiling even harder.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, seeming to have completely forgotten about his classmate who… Just looked a little confused to see you there.

“I thought we could get lunch,” you replied slowly. Jeonghan gave you a small quirk of the eyebrow. You just glanced past him towards the door he had come out of. “What class are you coming from?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Jeonghan replied lightly. “Is that why you’re really here? Trying to figure out what class I’m coming from?”

Your mouth gaped a little bit at the accusation, but it wasn’t completely untrue. You could have just texted him and met him at the school cafeteria or something. Your reaction was answer enough. He nodded and turned back over to the classmate he was with.

“I’ll catch you later,” he told her. “My girlfriend is going to take me to lunch.”

Your face flushed red a little as Jeonghan gestured for you to lead the way. You could feel a lot of eyes on you, and it made you swallow hard in embarrassment. Jeonghan smiled a little when he noticed your embarrassment. He walked up next to you, his shoulder brushing yours.

“Would you like it better if I held your hand?” He asked you teasingly.

You gave him an annoyed expression.

“Is that you projecting?” You asked him lightly. “Do you want to hold my hand?”

“There’s a lot of things that I want to do with you,” he replied, his voice dropping a little to a tone that you very much recognized. Your face flushed a little more but before you could respond, Jeonghan’s hand was finding yours. You thought it would be awkward, especially considering you weren’t expecting it, but Jeonghan’s hand slid easily into your hand.

Once your fingers intertwined, Jeonghan gave you a small squeeze and then swung your hands forward in a playful way.

“You know everyone is going to look at us and think-”

“Who is that girl with Jeonghan? He’s really playing the long con with her,” you offered up. He rolled his eyes.

“They’re going to understand the rumors about me dating someone,” he replied lightly. He tugged you closer to him, and bumped your shoulders. “You’re so beautiful… And perfect.”

You huffed softly, and looked away from him at the students you two were walking past. Surely enough they were looking at the two of you, whispering to one another. It made you want to rip your hand away from Jeonghan. All you could think about was all these people looking at you and Jeonghan. You almost forgot in a weird way that he was even there.

Suddenly, you felt your arm being pulled and you stumbled a little to a stop, turning over your shoulder to find that Jeonghan was pouting at you. Your thoughts of other people melted away, and confusion riddled across your face.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him. Your thoughts raced. “What did I do?”

“You’re thinking about everyone else so much you’re not thinking about me,” Jeonghan replied factually, even though, how could he know that? You frowned at him slightly, holding the space between you two for a little bit. Then when he didn’t budge you closed the distance between the two of you, giving him an apologetic expression.

“I’m just-”

Before you could respond Jeonghan was raising his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him so that he could drag you into a deep kiss. You wanted to be self-conscious in it, but it was hard to when Jeonghan’s thumb was rubbing small circles into the back of your neck.

When Jeonghan pulled away, his pout was gone, replaced by a smile and you knew he had gotten what he wanted.

“Don’t think about all these other people,” he said softly. “Think about me.”

You pressed your lips together because… If you didn’t you thought, you would try to kiss him again and nodded. Jeonghan stared at you for a few moments as if trying to decipher how you were feeling now but didn’t seem to find anything that bothered him.

He didn’t have to say it for you to hear him loud and clear: I love you.

You gave him a small smile.

“What do you want for lunch?”

-

Class had been frustrating so when you get out of class and saw that Jeonghan was leaning against the hallway wall, talking to some girl that you had never seen before. You didn’t even really care. You walked over to them, and smiled brightly at Jeonghan your boyfriend.

“You came to see me after class?” You asked him, the excitement in your voice undeniable. Jeonghan smiled and nodded.

“Yeongtae told me that you two weren’t studying today so I thought that we could spend some time together,” he replied. He took you by your wrists and pulled you close to him so that your chest pressed into his. He leaned forward a bit so that he could give you a chaste kiss to your lips. His thumbs rubbed your wrists comfortingly.

You thought in the back of your head that he should warn you before he just showed up at your class. After all, unlike Yeongtae you did have other friends but in this very moment, you didn’t care, you were more than happy to bid good bye to the girl he was talking to. No question on who it was and you were happy to walking with Jeonghan to his car.

And yet, you were only in his car for a few moments before Jeonghan felt the need to start to toy with you.

Jeonghan’s hand dipped beneath the waist band of your pants, his index finger finding your clit with ease. He toyed with it for a few moments.

“What’s your safe word?”

You blurted it, only then realizing that you had been very insistently holding your breath. Once Jeonghan heard your safe word his hand was sliding further down into your pants, his fingers meeting dampness.

A smile click of Jeonghan’s tongue both fulled you with embarrassment at having already been wet and pride. You knew that the feeling thrilled him even when he talked down to you for it.

“You’re such a little whore,” he mumbled softly. Before you could respond his fingers dipped inside of you, and your whole body arched into his chest. Your hand shot up and you grabbed hold of the handle on the ceiling, as your legs immediately spread for him.

“Are you really this shameless?” He asked you. “You’d let me fuck you anywhere wouldn’t you? In front of anyone?”

You whined in response, and it wasn’t a response, but Jeonghan didn’t really care.

“I need you to remind me again that you know your safe word,” Jeonghan said softly. His fingers didn’t still inside of you, but his tone confused you a bit. He never asked for souble confirmation that you knew your safe word. You frowned a bit but repeated your safe word.

“Okay,” he murmured. “I want you to unbuckle your seat belt and get my cock out. Licks. Not sucking. It’s the only time I’ll ever allow you to edge me.”

You nodded, and started to do as he wanted before he was even done. You two were now just driving very slowly down a small road towards your apartment. Sure there were some cars passing by and a few people on the side walk but you might as well have been sight seeing with the speed at which he was going. A car crash was the last thing that you were worried about.

“And I want you to pull your pants down to your knees and stick your ass in the air so that everyone can see while I finger your pretty pussy.”

You understood why he had wanted to make sure you really knew your safe word. You hesitated, your fingers wrapped around the base of his cock.

You weren’t that much of an exhibitionist… At least you hadn’t been before you started fucking Jeonghan. You thought to your other moments… Calling Yeongtae… Letting him fuck you in the store bathroom… Letting him fuck you against the window at the library.

With your ass in the air, and your mouth on his cock, it wasn’t like anyone would be able to see your face anyways.

Without much more thought you were finishing doing what he asked, pulling your pants down to your knees and pressing your lips to Jeonghan’s cock.

“Oh you really are such a slut,” Jeonghan murmured, but the praise in his voice was undeniable. “You’re so desperate to please that you really will do anything for me.”

Instead of responding you began to tentatively lick at Jeonghan’s slowly hardening cock. As you did that Jeonghan’s hand made it’s way over to your pussy, which was now dripping wetness down your thighs.

“You really like this don’t you?” Jeonghan observed, his fingers gathering the wetness. He then slathered his cock in your wetness so that you could see just how much there was. Your face flushed red but you went back to lapping at his cock, now able to taste your salty wetness as well.

Jeonghan’s fingers returned to your pussy, and this time he just plunged two of his fingers into your pussy. You whined, your fingers tightening around Jeonghan’s cock, as your head dipped forward a bit, small pants leaving your lips.

“I wish you could see how jealous everyone looks,” he commented lightly. “They’re all so jealous watching as I finger your pretty pussy. I know they wish that their fingers were buried inside of you instead of mine.”

Your face burned at the thought as Jeonghan’s car slowed to a stop. You glanced up and noticed that there was a stop light.

“I’m going to roll down the window so that everyone can hear you,” Jeonghan warned, waiting a few seconds for a protest. You gave none. You heard the distinct sound of Jeonghan’s window rolling down, and it was like you could feel eyes on you as Jeonghan began to curl his fingers inside of you to that spot that he knew drove you crazy.

“F-Fuck.”

You knew without having to be told that Jeonghan wanted you loud so you didn’t hold back the moans of pleasure, and you tried not to feel to embarrassed by the squelching sound of Jeonghan’s fingers sliding in and out of your soaked pussy.

The “show” didn’t last long ,and you never got to see how was watching if anyone was at all. You suddenly heard Jeonghan rolling up the window and his car started to roll forward again.

“You sound like a whore,” Jeonghan grumbled. Before more could be said, he reached up and buried his fingers into your hair, forcing your head down onto his cock.

You could as his whole cock was forced into your throat but no complaints were about to leave you. You could feel the pleasure at having done well curling in your stomach, you felt like you could come at any moment-

You felt Jeonghan’s car rolling to a stop and once the car jerked into a stop, his hand cracked hard against your ass. You gasped in surprise at the sudden touch only to be ripped right back off of his cock.

“In my lap. Now.”

You weren’t sure where you two were. An empty parking lot? It didn’t really matter. You obediently climbed into Jeonghan’s lap, and without doubling checking lined yourself up on Jeonghan’s cock. As you tried to get it in right, you accidentally rubbed his tip a few times between your folds which must’ve seemed like a tease because the second his tip had slid into your pussy he had pushed you all the way down onto him.

You cried out in surprise, a small stretch vibrating through your body that Jeonghan did not give you much time to adjust to. He grabbed your hips and began to forcefully raise you up and down the length of his cock. You whined, your body writhing in pleasure as all you could do was keep your face buried in his neck as he forced you up and down on his cock like you were some kind of sex doll.

“This is what you were made for,” he mumbled right beside your ear. “You were made for my cock. Made to be used by me for my own pleasure. And you like it don’t you? You like just being pummeled by my cock. Being stuffed full and used like your own pleasure doesn’t even matter.”

You nodded but Jeonghan was not satisfied by that. You were ripped back by your hair, and roughly slapped so that little tears sprouted at the corners of your eyes.

“I asked you a question you stupid slut. Are you even listening to what I say to you? Or is your small little brain unable to comprehend anything other than my cock filling you up?”

“I-I-“ You struggled to find your words but Jeonghan only started fucking you harder at that, purposely trying to make it more difficult for you. “Pl-please I-I- wanna-“

You weren’t able to get any straight words out and it earned you another slap which did not make it easier.

“I-I’m go-gonna-”

Jeonghan was spilling his cum into you without warning, seeming to find pleasure at your desperation to come along with your desperation to please him.

“Then why don’t you just do it and come like brainless slut you are?” Jeonghan suggested.

You were coming hard before you really knew it. Your whole body shook and you could have sworn that white flashed as your body fell limp against Jeonghan. His fingers loosened their tight grip on your lips, and you could his cock trapping his cum inside of you.

It was a little sweaty know in his car. Your shirt was sticking to you in a way that was a bit uncomfortable but, you didn’t pay it much thought.

“Y/n?”

You ignored Jeonghan, focusing on your breathing. You were so full. He felt so good. Your body was still shaking a little, surprised by how rough he had been so suddenly.

“Y/n.”

You peeled back enough so that you could hazily look at Jeonghan. He gave you a small smile and observed the expression on your face. After deeming it okay he began to press small kisses across it.

“You’re being really good baby,” he assured you lightly. “Always so good for me. You sure that was okay?”

You nodded distractedly, the exhaustion of the day finally hitting you.

Jeonghan laughed a little.

“Come on now, did I actually fuck you that good? You can’t get out a sentence?”

You forced yourself to focus on Jeonghan. You gave him a small smile.

“You always fuck me that good,” you replied. He let out a small laughed and patted you on the back of your head.

“Okay baby let’s get you home.”

Jeonghan was so annoying when it came to after care. He insisted on piggy backing you up to your apartment, and once you two were back he was drawing you a bath, searching your cabinets for sugar scrub and body butter.

He sat just outside of the bathtub, after laying you down into the warm soapy water. He was so focused on getting you clean too. Asking you off-handedly small things about your day as he rubbed the sugar scrub into your skin.

You stared at Jeonghan’s soft face as he lathered face soap into yours.

“Hey Jeonghan,” you mumbled softly. He hummed at you, distractedly. He wasn’t really listening. “Tell me that you love me again.”

His eyes flickered up to yours.

“I do,” he assured and his voice sounded so genuine. “I love you so much y/n.”

You smiled at him.

“Okay,” you whispered softly.

If Jeonghan was put off by the fact you didn’t say it back, he didn’t voice it.

“Do you want to do face masks?”

You had bought a couple of lego sets for Jeonghan to do while he was over at your place, and so after you two had both gotten cleaned and dressed, you two had ordered food and put facemasks on.

You watched him as he assembled the lego pieces and you thought idly that he was really good at building things.

“Can I have any hints at what your major is?” You asked, letting your voice drop to an octave that you thought might intice him to just tell you what you wanted to hear. He raised a skeptical eyebrow towards you.

“No,” he replied. The finality in his voice made you groan.

“This is unfair, won’t you tell me anything about yourself?” You asked him. “What about Kibum and Jiheon? Tell me more about them.”

Jeonghan thought over your request.

“Well, I will tell you that actually Jiheon and I are very close. She invites me to do a lot of things with her. I’m not really a part of her friend group but… I am.”

“Oh.”

That was good information actually. You nodded, pretending not to find the information that life changing.

“I think our food is here.”

-

Jiheon was a history major and so you knew that to casually bump into her all you had to do was camp outside of the history building bus stop. And of course, you had dragged Yeongtae with you.

“There are better ways to figure out things about Jeonghan.”

You mostly ignored him, your fingers drumming against the edge of your phone.

“This is going to work Yeongtae. Jeonghan said that he’s basically in her friend group if I can just get the chance to hang out with them then I will see a whole other side of him that he isn’t letting me see right now.”

“Yeah but this is a little psychiotic don’t you think?” He questioned. “Waiting for her outside of the-”

Before he could continue your eyes noticed a familiar ponytail in a crowd. Your eyes widened.

“Okay, okay game on.”

You two quickly changed your topic of conversation to one that was a little more fitting. Something about homework and classes that had frustrated you two. It was scary how natural it sounded.

“Oh my god, wait a second-“ Jiheon let out an excited sound and she bounced over to the two of you.

“Is that who I think it is? Mrs. Yoon.”

Your face flushed a dark red at being called such a thing and you immediately questioned if maybe you would have been better off if you had tried to target someone else. Maybe Cheol would be able to help you see the side of Jeonghan you hadn’t yet.

“Jiheon?” You replied, feigning surprise. “Oh, wow this is, uh-” You gestured towards Yeongtae, who dipped his head towards Jiheon. “This is Yeongtae.”

“Oh, Yeongtae,” Jiheon greeted softly. “I’ve seen you at a few parties.”

Now it was Yeongtae’s turn to turn red.

That Cheol idea was sounding more and more tempting… But you reminded yourself that he would probably see right through you and encourage you to just reach out to Jeonghan about all of this yourself. He’ll tell you when he wants to.

“I’m guessing Jeonghan told you about the friend group,” Jiheon said slightly, a smile on her face. “And you want to meet them so you can get to know Jeonghan better.”

Your mouth fell open in surprise at the accusation. Mostly at the accuracy of it. You fleetingly remembered what Kibum had said about her being able to practically read minds.

“Well,” Jiheon continued, not even waiting for you to continue. “You’re in lucky because we’re all going to the bar tonight and you and your friend Yeongtae are more than invited!”

Jiheon giggled and jumped up, wrapping her arm around your shoulders excitedly.

“It’ll be so much fun! Everyone has been begging to meet you ever since Jeonghan started prioritizing moping about you not being by his side 24/7 over hanging out with us.”

You felt a bit guilty but you didn’t have a super long time to think about it.

“Come on. We’re going to miss the bus.”

-

You’d never been to the bar that Jiheon ended up taking you and Yeongtae to but you found that you did like it. You were pleasantly surprised by the dark wood tables and floors that made it feel very home-y and the old pictures of groups of people that made this feel like a bar that really had been serving people since the 90s.

Jiheon took you and Yeongtae over to a table that housed a small group of students your age and quickly introduced you two to them- Most of them actually already knew Yeongate.

There was Yujin, Sunghoon, and of course Kibum. They all smiled at you, nursing cups of different colored drinks. Kibum and Sunghoon, amusingly enough, nursing very pink drinks.

“You’ve got to get me one of those,” Yeongtae said as soon as he took a seat next to Kibum. Sunghoon reached across Kibum to fist bump Yeongate.

“I can take you up to the bar to order one,” he replied. “It’s good to see you man.”

They both got right back up, and wandered over to the bar that was bathed in warm golden light.

“Do you drink much y/n?” Yujin asked. You thought about it silently for a few seconds.

“Not a lot,” you admitted. “But one drink doesn’t really hurt.”

Yujin got up.

“Let me grab you something… Hm… Fruity?”

You nodded with a small smile, and she disappeared to join the boys up at the bar. You slid down next where she had been and Jiheon slid in next to you.

“Kibum, it’s good to see you again.”

He gave you a smile.

“Yeah.”

He turned to Jiheon, a slightly confused expression on his face.

“I thought Jeonghan couldn’t come tonight?”

“He can’t,” she replied. There was an excited glint in her eyes, that seemed to stress Kibum out a little bit. He mumbled something under his breath in another language that you didn’t catch. Jiheon just arched an eyebrow at him.

“It’s not a big deal,” she assured.

After talking to Jeonghan’s friends for a few hours you were able to piece together a few things about Jeonghan. For one, even outside of Alpha Mu Jeonghan, really was treated like a king. In every story they told he got what he wanted, picked up any person that he looked at.

Most of all they said it was hard to keep track of him. One second he was there, the next… Well, they would have completely lost him, unsure of where he went until he just reappeared a few minutes later, no prompting of what he had been up to.

They almost always paid for him, apparently got him whatever he wanted. It was amusing to hear honestly. The way that everyone would cater to him.

“It’s like they always say,” Yujin stated.

“Jeonghan always gets what he wants,” the whole group parroted as if it had been rehearsed.

“I can’t believe he actually got you,” Sunghoon commented. “Jiheon always said that he liked you but… Well, no one believed her.”

“How…” The commented confused you. “How would Jiheon know that?”

“One time we were all at a party and you were there too and Jeonghan was completely different than usual,” Jiheon replied. “He kept glancing at you, urging the group closer to whoever you were talking to. So annoyed when you finally left…. It was easy to figure out that he liked you.”

“Jeonghan was so convincing though. He said he didn’t even know who you were,” Kibum commented. “Should’ve known better. Should’ve known to just trust Jiheon.”

Yujin looked at her very seriously.

“Your powers are nothing to mess with… You’re insane.”

Jiheon beamed with pride.

“Okay… You’ve got to tell me. Is it really that good?” Jiheon pressed lightly. Your eyes widened as she pushed forward a small glass. You glanced down into it but there was nothing but clear liquid. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Vodka?” You asked. She frowned slightly.

“Water,” she replied with a point. “But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about Jeonghan. Is he really that good in bed?”

Yujin gasped, sharply nudging Jiheon in the side.

“Jiheon?”

“What?” She asked innocently. “We were all thinking it.”

“We were not all thinking it,” Sunghoon insistently.

“Some of us have heard it,” Yeongtae replied just as miserably. Him and Sunghoon shared a horrified glance.

“You’ve never…” You trailed off, wondering if it was weird to assume that Jeonghan had fucked all the girls he was friends with.

“Oh god no,” Yujin said, her nose wrinkling slightly. “Our relationship with Jeonghan has never been like that. I think it’s different for him. Meeting people at parties versus in class.”

You hummed in thought.

What you had known of Jeonghan before, albeit not much, was just that he was very flirty. Touchy. When he saw someone… something that he liked then he was bound to show so in his gaze and his touches and all of the above.

And from what you had seen Jeonghan always got what he wanted. You knew that no girl had ever rejected him before. No, that would make news. And you were fairly certain that translated outside of girls and people… The boys at Alpha Mu seemed to always give him what he wanted.

You didn’t always do that for him. At the same time as you did always give him what he wanted, you also didn’t. You knew he would like it if you spent more time with him. You knew that you could do more to be a better girlfriend for him.

“Come on,” Jiheon urged excitedly, shaking your shoulder a little. “What’s it like? Is he big?”

Your face burned in embarrassment.

“I mean-”

“Now, now, now.” A hand came around your neck from behind, the touch light, his thumb in the little dip of your neck. You turned your head back, even though you didn’t really need to in order to know exactly who was standing there, touching you like they owned you. “Jiheon if you want to know so badly you could always just ask to see.”

Jiheon was not embarrassed at all at having been caught in the middle of this conversation.

“Jeonghan can I please see your cock.”

She batted her eyes innocently, in a way that made Sunghoon and Yujin snicker.

“Sure, as long as my pretty girlfriend says that it’s okay,” he said pleasantly. Both Jiheon and Jeonghan laughed at their own conversation and Jeonghan’s hand prodded you to look at him more. You turned so that were facing him, instantly taking him in.

His hair was falling in his face in a way that made you feel like you needed to fix it. He was wearing a loose button up and a pair of slacks. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Jeonghan, where are you coming from?”

He shrugged off-handedly.

“Partner-work,” he replied with a sigh. “And imagine my dismay, when I can’t find my girl friend anywhere to get the scent of…” His face turned soar. “Kimmie off of me.”

You could smell a faint scent of women’s perfume on his shirts, and it made a small ball build up in your throat. Before you could say anything, Jeonghan pressed a kiss to your lips and elbowed Jiheon lightly so that she would get out of the booth. She slid out and Jeonghan slid in next to you. A pout on his lips.

“All you do is sneak around behind my back to try and find out things about me,” he said softly. Your face burned at the accusation even though… Well, it was true. “You owe me.” He poked you and leaned closer. “You’re going to get punished for this.”

His voice was too quiet for anyone to hear, and luckily for you, you were able to keep your embarrassment mostly to yourself. As Jeonghan had spoken, Jiheon was pulling a chair up at the end of the table.

“And you just invited her? What have you all been talking about?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Yujin said teasingly. “Maybe if you spent more time with us we wouldn’t have to resort to kidnapping your girlfriend.”

Jeonghan gave Yujin an annoyed looked and he glanced over at the two glasses in front of you. The water… The one with a little bit of a drink at the bottom. You felt ashamed for it but, he didn’t do anything that actually made you feel that way.

“Do you want another one?” He asked you softly. You were going to say no but… His voice was so genuine. So soft. You could feel that he just wanted to take care of you. You nodded. He smiled, and patted your head lightly.

“I’ll be right back.”

He slid out of the booth so that he could go to the bar and as soon as he was away Yujin was gasping and grabbing your arm.

“Look at you,” she said excitedly. “You really are Mrs. Yoon. He’s treating you like a queen.  I bet he’d do anything for you.”

Her excitement was palpable.

“I told you,” Kibum said. “It’s like he’s someone completely different than we are used to when he is around her.”

“I didn’t know he had the capacity to care about someone,” Sunghoon said, and it sounded serious but the way the others laughed made it clear to you that it was a joke. When Jeonghan came back he rolled his eyes, setting the drink in front of you as if he could tell what they were talking about.

“Well, go on… Ask your questions.”

It bothered you the way he answered all of their questions about you two’s relationships but wouldn’t even tell you his major. You could tell that Yeongtae knew. You knew that Jeonghan could tell too, he was just pretending not to notice.

To quell your frustration his hand was on the back of your neck, his fingers playing with your hair as a way to ease you.

It did ease you, and as you were eased you were able to just sit and listen to the way that he interacted with them. He was very playful; his mood was light.

He still smelled lightly of that girl’s perfume.

-

You bid a quick greeting to the Alpha Mu boys in the living room as you made your way up to Jeonghan’s bedroom. It had been a few days since you met his friends at the bar, and despite Jeonghan’s insistence against it, Jiheon had urged you to come hang out again some other time.

And even though he told you a million times you shouldn’t hang out with her, when you asked for it Jeonghan gave you her phone number so that you could text her.

You thought about what the others had said. He was different around you. You wondered exactly what that meant. Everyone was always telling you how much he liked you… It was just weird. You sort of understood the outburst Jeonghan had after that conversation with Minghao. Everyone acted like he was bad at expressing his feelings.

But you thought he was really good at it.

When you walked into Jeonghan’s room he was at his desk, sketching something out on a paper. As soon as you closed the door behind you however he was folding the paper away. You sighed. It must have to do with school.

You walked over to Jeonghan and sighed, dropping your whole body weight on him. The day had been exhausting. What with work, and school. You were about ready to just fall asleep. Jeonghan seemed to sense that in you.

“Did you eat?” He asked.

You groaned, and it told him everything he needed to know.

“Well, you know full well you can’t sleep until you eat. I’ll get you something from downstairs,” he said lightly. “You just go ahead and change.”

Frustration still buzzed in your chest, but you nodded.

“Do you work tomorrow?” He asked you softly. He turned so that he could drag you into his lap. You let him give you a small kiss. You shook your head.

“Good,” he said. “Do you want to spend the day with me?”

You perked up at the question but also… It was suspicious.

“Doing what?” You asked him.

“I have this seminar I need to go to,” he replied. “And then I wanted to go see an old classmate maybe.”

This made you even more suspicious.

“… Why?”

A smile ghosted his lips.

“You remember that punishment that I mentioned the other day?”

He turned and rummaged around in one of his drawers before pulling out what you recognized to be a small sex toy. It was pale pink and had a small piece that was obviously meant to go inside of you. At the base of that it looked a bit like a butterfly. You frowned at it slightly.

“What…?”

Before you could ask more Jeonghan had pressed the item to your arm and was clicking a remote that was in his other hand. The toy buzzed to life, and your eyes widened with understanding.

“I think that’s a fitting punishment, don’t you?” He asked you lightly. “A full day of edging?”

There was an evil glint in his eyes that scared you just as much as the idea excited you.

-

The toy itself fit surprisingly comfortably inside of you. You thought that it would feel akward. You thought that you would be constantly uncomfortable but you weren’t really. At first you were worried that you were walking weird but you decided after he buzzed it on that the fear was solely in your head. Seungcheol didn’t seem to notice that the toy was vibrating or the way that your eyes widened and you grabbed Jeognhan’s free hand in surprise at the feeling, so that quelled your worries that people would be able to just hear it.

In the car ride on the way to Jeonghan’s seminar he showed you all of the settings of the vibrator. A few weird pulsing ones versus the three normal settings on any vibrater that was just increased in speeds. The highest vibration was a bit more than you were used to. You had to grab the car handle when he put it on it your face turning bright red, as you willed yourself not to really react. To practice,

Jeonghan had just laughed at you and switched off the toy.

“You know what to do if it’s too much?” He asked you, as if it were day one. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m supposed to just endure it and say nothing right?” You asked him. The toy buzzed to the highest setting in a blink of an eye. You yelped, tossing your hand over your mouth, your eyes screwing shut. “I’ll safe word if it’s too much. I’ll safe word.”

The toy died again, and you were suddenly able to breath. When you looked over at Jeonghan he was smiling.

“I think today is going to be a lot of fun.”

You were a bit excited about this seminar. Not because you wanted to sit through a seminar but because you thought maybe it would give some insight into Jeonghan’s major. Unfortunately, you were pretty sure that Jeonghan’s major had nothing to do with the history of South Korea and peaceful protests.

You toyed with the pamphlet that Jeonghan had given you, not reading it, but also not quite not reading it. Your eyes grazed over the letters, your whole body prepared for the vibrator in you to buzz to life at any moment.

Jeonghan seemed to know a lot of students here. You were surprised by the amount of them that just seemed… Well, professional you guessed. They were all dressed up with slacks and button-ups, but if you squinted you were pretty sure you had seen at least one of them doing a keg stand at one of the Alpha Mu parties.

“I can’t believe we have to do this class,” one of them grumbled with a roll of his eyes. He glanced at you from over Jeonghan’s shoulder. “At least some babes showed up.”

You didn’t have to see Jeonghan’s face to know that he sent the guy a glare. Only had to see the fear that crossed the guys eyes when he looked back at Jeonghan.

“That’s my girlfriend.”

The guy swallowed so hard his adams apple bobbed.

“She’s really pretty.”

He didn’t try to introduce himself to you, in fact for the rest of the seminar he did anything but look in your direction. Other than that guy, Jeonghan was excited to introduce you to people. As you two took your seats, far in the back, Jeonghan introduced you to just about everyone he passed.

“Yes, this is my girlfriend. Isn’t she perfect?”

You smiled, and laughed like a trophy wife would, secretly anticipating the buzz of the toy inside of you, but luckily you survived all the introductions. In fact, it was halfway through the seminar when, you were comfortable that the toy all of a sudden buzzed to life.

Your fingers crinkled the pamphlet in your hand, but Jeonghan, the masochist didn’t look at you at all. In fact, it was as if he hadn’t turned it on at all.

Well, fine, if he was going to be like that, you were going to be too.

You were determined to be good. You were determined not to let this affect you. You focused back in on the seminar, trying really hard to hear about the testimonies of some of the students but just as you were settled in, just as you were really focused back in the setting went up.

This time your hands balled on your thighs, and you had to focus on your breathing. Making sure that it stayed the same as it usually did even though… You couldn’t really remember what your breathing was normally like.

Jeonghan still wasn’t acknowledging you, so you were still doing your best to keep quiet too. You weren’t doing a very good job of acting completely unaffected. Your knees were squeezed tight together, your lips pressed, your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to situate yourself in the seat in a way that would make the vibrations less distracting.

The buzzing went up to the highest seating.

You let out a small gasp, making someone in front of you turn around and look at you. You gave them a smile and held up your phone as if you had just dropped it or something, until they turned around. Once they weren’t looking at you again, you dropped your phone into your lap and gripped at the arm rests, taking in big breaths as you felt the vibrations warming your body.

You could feel the warmth creeping up your neck as pleasure coiled in your stomach, an orgasm quickly approaching. You shifted, now subconsciously chasing the release that you knew was coming, and then just as you were about to get it- The vibrations completely stopped.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, feeling like you could cry, but remembering to keep it to yourself because you were in public.

You realized suddenly that your body was shaking, so you didn’t loosen your grip on the arm rests until it was down, and you were feeling less in pain for having your orgasm ripped away from you.

Once you had relaxed Jeonghan reached his hand over to you, placing it on your thigh, but closer to your knee then where you really wanted it. He leaned over, his lips brushing your ear.

“Good girl,” he praised softly. He played with you like that for the rest of the seminar. Everytime that you thought that you were safe the vibrations would start. They started off small, barely there, growing until you were so close to an orgasm that you could practically touch it, only for Jeonghan to rip it away from you just before you came.

Your frustration was palpable. You dropped your head on his shoulder, wrapping your fingers around his upper arm. You wanted so badly to come. You wanted so badly for this torture to end, but the day was just starting… And the excitement towards your reward for enduring it all was much to intriguing for you to possibly safe word and get out of this.

You didn’t even notice when the seminar let out, only knowing that it was time to go because people around you were starting to move. You didn’t feel Jeonghan moving so you didn’t either, and the cruel bastard turned on the low vibrations. You barely muffled a moan into his shoulder, fighting hard to keep quiet and hide how good it felt, but not being completely able to.

“Jeonghan? Hey! I didn’t even notice you,” a man said excitedly. Jeonghan shifted, forcing you to look up at the guy. You gave him a friendly smile, hoping that your red face wasn’t that off-putting.

“Hey! Oh, y/n this is Jae. Jae, this is my girlfriend y/n.”

The bastard.

“Hi Jae,” you said friendly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He held out his hand to you, and you hesitated, glancing at Jeonghan before you took it. Jae laughed.

“You afraid to take another man’s hand without permission?”

The question annoyed you. The way he said it. You weren’t afraid to take his hand without permission. You were afraid that Jeonghan was going to turn up the vibrations the second that you took Jae’s hand. You gave Jae an unamused look.

“No,” was all you said and you stared at him until he dropped his hand and his cheeks dusted pink in embarrassment at what he had said. Jeonghan’s hand came to the back of your neck and rubbed a small circle there before falling into a small conversation with Jae about some class they were in together.

You were able to gather that they were the same major, but before you could figure out what exactly that major was the vibrations turned up. You stumbled slightly, your hand darting to Jeonghan’s wrist. You wrapped your fingers tightly around it, but managed to smile at Jae like nothing was wrong.

You thought you were doing a good job of pretend like you were paying attention to the conversation, but it was distracting as more and more people walked up.

“Hi, Jared, this is my girlfriend, y/n,” Jeonghan introduced. You smiled at him, taking his hand.

“Nice to me-” The vibrations switched up as you two shook hands and your grip on him tightened, your voice cracking. “-et you.”

Jared laughed as you two released your hands.

“You’ve got a strong handshake,” he said with a laugh. You forced a smile.

“I think that’s one of my best qualities.”

You weren’t too distracted to send a glare at Jae.

As the conversation turned away from you Jeonghan changed the vibration settings, off of the straight ones to one that buzzed twice rapidly, paused, and then let out a small long vibration before starting all over again.

You thought it was crueler than the other settings. You weren’t able to get comfortable at all with this one. You were constantly on edge. Constantly squeezing the life out of Jeonghan’s arm. You kept thinking that his conversation was going to end. Hoping really that the torture would cease with every lull in conversation.

But it just kept going.

You tugged at Jeonghan’s arm as pleasure coiled in your stomach. Fuck you couldn’t do this. You weren’t going to be able to just stand here for another five- Even one minute. If he kept this up you were going to come in front of all these people and it was going to be so unsatisfying and you needed to be fucked right now.

You tugged sharply at Jeonghan’s arm clearing your throat a little.

“Jeonghan,” you mumbled. He ignored you. You tugged at him again. “Jeonghan.” Your tone made him realize that you were a bit urgent. He looked down at you, a small smile when he saw the state you were in. “I’m hungry. Can we go?”

You thought that Jeonghan was going to be so sadistic as to make you beg for it in front of all his classmates, but he wasn’t.

“Of course, we can babe,” he promised you softly. You forced yourself to stay calm. Forced yourself not to react to strongly when he leaned down and gave you a soft kiss. You barely registered his goodbye’s to his classmates, instead you dragged him to the top floor, into the nearest family bathroom, locking the door behind you two.

“Please, please, please.” You begged thoughtlessly. Your fingers coming to his pants, and pulling out his cock. “N-Need some relief Jeonghan, need your cock, please, please, please.”

His cock was rock hard when you tugged it out of his pants, just confirmation that he had been enjoying your games the whole seminar. You were hoping that he was as desperate as you were. Thinking that surely his self-control wasn’t so good that he didn’t want to fuck you.

“Pl-Please fuck me Jeonghan,” you begged him softly, you tugged at his cock, your thumb teasing his tip, trying to entice him. He watched you silently, his face showing no indication of his thoughts.

“Turn around. Hands on the wall.”

Your hand left his cock so fast that you almost gave yourself whiplash. You shoved your hands against the wall, and stuck your ass out as Jeonghan pulled down your pants, peeling your soaked panties down to your ankles, and then slowly, teasingly easing the toy out of you.

Your pussy gaped, clenching on air at the last of the toy, and your soft moans turned into sobs of relief at the release of the vibrations. Only moments later Jeonghan’s hands were tightly gripping your hips, and the tip of his dick was sliding between your folds gathering wetness.

“Did you enjoy being played with during the seminar?” Jeonghan asked you teasingly. You whined, letting your forehead hit the wall. “You did a good job of pretending to be unaffected.”

Jeonghan’s cock slipped inside of you, and he bottomed out in you in an instant.

“God your pussy is just sucking me in,” he groaned. He pulled out slowly and then thrust back in hard. “You can’t get enough of my cock can you?”

“I can’t,” you openly sobbed. “I just needed you so badly… Your cock feels so much better than that stupid toy. I wanted to come so many times…”

You were being shameless, but you could tell by the squeeze of Jeonghan’s hands on your hips that he didn’t care. He wasn’t playing with your clit, or touching you in any other way than just to fuck you. His cock making squelching sounds because of how wet you were from the toy.

Without warning Jeonghan was coming inside of you, filling you up inside, and then pulling his cock so that just his tip was inside of you so that he could fill you up completely. You expected him to start playing with your clit now, or to start fucking you again, but instead he slipped his cock from you, immediately pushing his cum securely inside of you with that stupid toy.

You turned around, your eyes wide, your cheeks tear stained.

“J-Jeonghan,” you begged quietly. “B-But I-I-“

“I am not done playing with you,” Jeonghan said, grabbing you sternly by your chin. “This is a punishment remember? You don’t get to decide when it’s over.”

The unless you really need out, hung in the air, hidden behind his eyes. You knew you had an out. An easy out. There would be no shame in safe wording right now and getting to come. Your eyes fluttered shut and you groaned, letting your head fall into Jeonghan’s chest.

“Yes sir,” you mumbled. Jeonghan’s fingers threaded into your hair and he forced you to look up at him.

“What do you say?” He asked you. “I filled your needy cunt with cum and yet I’ve gotten nothing for it.”

You pouted just slightly.

“Thank you Jeonghan,” you said softly. Jeonghan smiled and patted your cheek consdescendingly.

“I shouldn’t have to teach you basic manners.”

He slapped your ass causing you to yelp.

“Now come on, I have to go meet up with my study partner.”

You partly understood why he had wanted you to come with him to see this particular study partner. The one he had mentioned before. You could recognize the scent of her perfume from his collar. She was practically shoving her breasts into his chest, hugging him excitedly when she saw him.

He looked uncomfortable.

You pushed between the two, giving her a smile.

“Hi. I’m Jeonghan’s girlfriend,” you said, your tone short. “How long is this going to take you exactly?

She hated you. She kept sending you glares, as you physically got inbetween them every time that the two got too close. You could feel Jeonghan’s relief everytime you separated them, but it didn’t stop Jeonghan from causing you torture. As they settled into the project the vibrations started all over again. Different then what it had been before. Just short bursts of vibrations in successions. Your fingers balled on the table, your breaths coming in shorter pants.

If his stupid partner thought it was odd, she didn’t say anything.

You wiggled in your chair, once again finding purchase in Jeonghan’s shoulder, unfortunately making it easier for him to figure out when you were about to come.

Always bringing you right up to the edge. And always ripping the orgasm right away from you. It was hell. Pure hell.

And with the cum inside of you, dribbling out around the toy everyonce in a while it just made the feeling that much more overwhelming.

But at least once he finished his project it would be over. Again you dragged him into the bathroom. Again you begged for him to fuck you, and he did. Right over the (thankfully) clean sink so that you were desperately gripping at the ceramic, trying to keep yourself steady.

Another full load of cum, and another securing of the toy immediately after.

Jeonghan kissed you patiently as he waited for your tears to stop rolling down your cheeks, his fingers threading soothingly through your hair.

“You’re so good for me,” he praised lightly. “You’re enduring so well.”

“We’re going home now?” You asked him softly. Another soft kiss to your cheek.

“We have to go catch some food with one of my classmates.”

You really heavily considered safe wording, but the anticipation of how good your orgasm was going to feel after all this teasing, once you had done good for him…

“Okay,” you said softly.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gave you a small pat to your head.

“That’s my good girl.”

The last and final part of Pathetic << linked right there

---

DK Allure behind the scenes

You know that Ada Limón poem where she’s like “i can’t help it i love the way men love”? my dad recently confessed to me that he became a shoemaker because they buried my grandma shoeless

oh…………………………………

adore u

seungcheol x fem!reader

summary: crushing on seungcheol was a really bad idea. sleeping with him, no strings attached, was even worse. and yet...

Tags: ons/fwb to lovers, suggestive, a little fluff, a little angst, best friend!seungkwan; warnings: alcohol consumption; word count: ~4,6k

a/n: i started this ages ago tbh and then didn't rlly know how to end it so it sat in my drafts for a rlly long time but i finally got around to finishing it~

Masterlist

You hadn’t intended for the evening to go like this. It was meant to be nothing but a chill evening with your best friend Seungkwan. But maybe everything had been doomed from the moment he had told you that some of his friends would be coming too. Not that you didn’t like them. You did, one of them just a little bit too much—and that was the whole problem. Despite knowing Seungcheol would never be serious about someone like you, you couldn’t help yourself from being attracted to him. There was just something so charming about the way he looked at you that made your heart flutter. 

“So, when are the other guys coming?” you asked, lounging on his couch, leaning against the headrest. You thought you sounded casual, but your friend had you all figured out.

“Are you asking about the other guys or just one guy in particular?” He looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” You stared back with wide eyes, the clattering coming from the hallway going completely past you.

“Ah, so we’re still pretending that you don’t have a crush on Scoups?”

"I don't have a crush on him! He's just—attractive!”

"Who's attractive?"

Your head snapped around to Hoshi poking his head into the room, while toeing out of his shoes. But worse than Hoshi looking at you with curiosity, was Seungcheol, standing right there in the doorframe, a big box with snacks and drinks in his hands.

"Who's attractive?" Hoshi asked again, making his way into the room.

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat that had risen to your cheeks. "No one."

When your gaze flickered over to Seungcheol there was a smug gleam in his eyes.

"Boring," Hoshi pouted, before making his way through the room to the kitchen, a second box in his arms. "You coming, Cheol?"

"Sure," he replied, his eyes still lingering on you. And then he chuckled. He fucking chuckled. You wanted to disappear on the spot. There was no doubt in your head that he'd heard you.

He didn’t let on though, not in a way others would notice. But you were hyper aware of every little move he made throughout the evening. He wasn’t even sitting close to you, nor did you really talk much, but he still had you on edge with the smug glances he threw you from time to time.

When you couldn’t endure his eyes on you for even a second longer, you excused yourself to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind you. After all, you just wanted to splash some water in your face to hopefully cool down a bit. But it seemed that had been a mistake.

"So, you think I'm attractive?" A familiar voice suddenly rang from right behind you.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat before you dared to look up, your eyes meeting Seungcheol’s through the mirror.

"No, I—that was just objectively speaking—"

A laugh slipped past his lips at the way you were fumbling for words. He stepped a little closer, his breath tickling your ears when he spoke up again. 

“I’m objectively attractive?”

“You’re twisting my words.”

"I’m not. Just be honest with me."

A shudder ran down your spine and you felt flustered, your voice shaking a little despite your best efforts to sound tough.

“Why are you making such a big deal of it anyway?”

“Hm, good question. ” he hummed in response, hesitating for a moment before he added, “Maybe I like it.” 

“Like what?”

He huffed a laugh. “You.”

You knew that he didn’t mean it the way you did—he clearly just liked the idea of you in his bed. You knew that—and yet your heart was racing in your chest, excited by the thought that he liked you, in whichever way.

When you didn’t reply and just kept staring at him through the mirror he leaned in even more, his nose nudging against the spot behind your ear, his eyes wandering between the you in front of him and the you in the mirror. “So,” he started again, “what do you think?”

“Me too,” you replied against your better knowledge. This was nothing but trouble, all of this was just a game to him. But you couldn't resist. “I like it.”

He hummed contently, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine. "That's a good girl."

His hands found your hips to turn you around, your face mere inches from his, and his gaze fixed on your lips.

God, you wanted this so badly. Still, a small voice of reason was fighting for attention inside your mind.

“Isn’t this a bad idea?” it made you ask, even though you already knew the answer yourself.

“I think it’s the best idea I’ve had in a while,” he replied with a smug smile. “Don’t you agree?”

No.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, before pushing in and closing the gap between the two of you. At first it was just a gentle brush of his lips against yours, tentatively, questioningly; but when you leaned into the kiss he cupped your jaw and pulled you closer. 

Surely this would end badly for you. Seungcheol wasn’t the type of guy who did relationships and you weren’t the best at separating your body and heart. But just for tonight you wanted to indulge. Who knew if  the opportunity would arise  again.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself tugged into an unfamiliar bed, a strong arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You couldn’t exactly recall how you’d gotten there, but what you did recall was what had happened once you’d arrived. You remembered the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his lips had explored your body, the way he’d looked at you. There’d been something hungry in his eyes. But somehow he’d also made you feel precious, like something that should be treasured. You knew you were absolutely fucked. 

His arm was still wrapped around you, holding you close but you already felt like crying. When you stirred, trying to free yourself from his grasp he groaned in protest, pulling you closer. 

“I have to get up,” you complained.

“Mhm-hm.” You felt him shaking his head before nuzzling into your neck. “Don’t.”

“Seungcheol, please,” your voice quivered but you hoped he didn’t notice in his sleepy state.

“Why?” 

All of this was really bad for your heart. With the way he behaved you could almost delude yourself into believing this was more than just a one night stand, that maybe his like had meant something more after all.

“I have to work,” you lied. It was a weak lie, he knew you were off on sundays, but he loosened his grip anyway.

You freed yourself from his embrace and got up, hastily picking up your clothes from the floor so you could exchange them for the loose shirt Seungcheol had given you to sleep in. All the while, he was watching you from the bed, his head propped up on one hand.

“Are you coming back?”

“What?” You turned around to him, your shirt and pants clutched to your chest.

“Are you coming back?” He simply repeated.

You had a rough idea what he was implying. But how were you supposed to survive some kind of friends with benefits arrangement with the guy you’d been crushing on for months now?

"Let's just forget about this. It did not happen."

Seungcheol looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face that quickly turned into a cute pout. 

"Well then it can not happen again, right?" 

You wanted to say no and reinforce that it really wouldn’t, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. So, instead, you just disappeared to the bathroom where you hastily slipped into your clothes to escape his flat as quickly as possible. Maybe you’d be able to leave while he was still snuggled up in bed if you were quick enough.

But when you left the bathroom you heard clattering from the kitchen.

“I’m leaving,” you shouted into the hallway, because your manners forbade you from just rushing out even in this situation.

Seungcheol immediately poked his head out of the kitchen, the same pout on his lips again. 

“You’re not even having a coffee?”

“Work. I told you.”

“Fine,” he replied but the pout didn’t disappear.

He walked you to the door, waiting patiently while you put on your shoes and coat, and then opened the door for you.

You felt awkward as you walked past him. “Uh, I guess I’ll see you around?”

“You can also call me, you know?” He reached out for your hand, just briefly holding onto it before letting go again. “Call me.”

You didn’t call him. You knew you wouldn’t call him the second you left his apartment and walked your sorry self to the bus stop. To say you regretted your decision from the night before was an understatement. Having an unrequited crush had been painful even before this. But now that you knew what it felt like to be held by him, now that you knew how gentle his hands could be and how he looked when he’d only just woken up—how were you supposed to ever get over it?

It was stupid to waste any tears on this, it was your own fault after all. But you did anyway, sitting at the bus stop crying until your bus arrived and then crying some more once you’d gotten home.

Avoiding Seungcheol seemed to be the best solution for now, just until your heart had recovered a little. But that was easier said than done. Your social circles were so closely intertwined that it was hard to avoid him without making it obvious. And while you didn’t want to see him, you also didn’t want to appear like some heartbroken loser who cried over a one-night stand (even if you did).

Before long you were sitting in Seungkwan's living room again, squeezed on the couch between a slightly drunk Wonwoo and an infinitely drunker Hoshi, while Seungcheol kept eyeing  you from the other side of the room. He didn't even try to be subtle about it and it drove you insane. You tried to avoid his gaze as best as you could but your rebellious eyes kept wandering back to him anyway. It wasn’t your fault he was looking so cute today, with a pair of round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose and his dark tousled hair falling into his forehead, almost hiding the way his eyebrows were slightly pulled together.

“Should I get you a new drink?” Wonwoo pulled you out of your trance, gesturing to the empty cup in your hand.

“Huh? Ah, no thank you, I’ll go.” 

You took this chance to escape to the kitchen, hoping to get a moment of peace and collect your thoughts. You should have known better though. Leaving the room hadn’t worked last time, what had made you think it would now?

“You didn’t call me.” 

Seungcheol looked at you with the same pout he’d already given you one too many times.

You shrugged. “Guess not.”

“Why not?”

“Does it matter?” 

“It does.”

“Come on, Cheol, don’t pretend to be bothered by this.” You grabbed one of the liquor bottles, struggling to open it. Before you could give up in frustration, Suengcheol took the bottle out of your hands and opened it for you.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Instead of handing the bottle back to you, he poured some into your cup, reaching for soda next.

“I prefer—”

“Orange, I know.” He mixed your drink, just the way you liked it, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. “So why didn’t you call?”

You huffed a laugh. “I’m just not cut out for this kinda thing. I don’t fancy getting hurt.”

"You were the one that practically bolted out of my apartment the next morning and then didn’t even call. Shouldn't I be the one who's hurt?" He didn’t meet your eyes when he said it, instead focused on refilling his own cup.

"As if you’d get hurt over someone like me."

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow and you knew what he was going to say: What do you mean ‘someone like you’? But you weren’t up for a serious conversation now. And it wasn’t like he’d understand.

“Besides,” you quickly tried to steer the conversation away. “Didn't we agree to forget about all that?”

“I agreed to nothing of the sort. Why would I agree to something stupid like that?” 

“Because we—it was a one-time thing! A bad idea!”

“A bad idea?” He cocked his head. “That’s not what you said last time, Princess.”

Caught off guard by the nickname, you felt your face flush with heat. “Don’t call me that,” you snapped but it didn’t sound very convincing.

“What, Princess? Hmm.” He stepped a little closer, a thoughtful look on his face. “I thought it suited you.”

You automatically took a step back and as a result stumbled into the sharp edge of the kitchen counter. It wasn’t too painful, but you still winced.

Seungcheol chuckled. “Maybe klutz would be more fitting after all?” He sneaked his arm around your waist, his hand covering the edge so you wouldn’t bump into it again. “Or bumpkin?”

“I’m not a klutz,” you choked out, trying your best to ignore your racing heart, overwhelmed by the proximity.

“It’s cute though.”

“Stop teasing me, Seungcheol.” You looked at him with a frown. He huffed a laugh at your complaint.

“Funny, I could have sworn you were into that.”

Heat crept up your neck to the tips of your ears. But before you could retort anything, the two of you got interrupted.

“Uh,” Wonwoo eyed you from the doorway. “Sorry—just—y/n was taking a really long time in the kitchen so I thought I’d check…” He trailed off, his eyes wandering between the two of you.

“Actually,” Seungcheol said with a casual tone, putting a little distance between the two of you. “I’m getting a little tired and was just about to offer y/n a ride home since she’s a little drunk already. Even ran into the counter, the poor thing.” 

“It wasn’t that bad. I’m not drunk.”

“So I shouldn’t drive you home?”

“Huh?” Your head snapped around to him in surprise, only now registering his offer. “Didn’t you drink?”

“It’s soda,” he held out his cup for you as if to prove his point. “But it’s fine if you want to stay, I’m just asking since I’m leaving anyway.”

Wonwoo was still looking at you from where he stood in the doorway in slight confusion. “So I assume you’re fine?” He searched your face for a confirmation of sorts.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Okay, then. I’ll leave you to it.” With that he returned to the living room, you and Seungcheol once again alone.

“So?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Should I take you home?”

It was stupid, really. Both of you knew that you weren’t drunk. And even then, this was literally your best friend’s house. Seungkwan would let you stay over anytime. 

You swallowed. “Okay?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. Take me home.”

Once is a mistake, they say. Twice is a choice. 

And yet, you found yourself in Seungcheol’s bed again, his hands all over your body. He was unbearably sweet with you, from the way he cupped your face when he kissed you to the pretty little lies he whispered.

“I want you,” he mumbled into your bare skin. “You have no idea how badly I want you.” 

It made your heart race but it made it ache too. What he wanted wasn’t you, it was only this: your body in his bed.

“Me too,” you replied anyway, and the smile it put on his face, dimple showing and all, was so adorable you almost wanted to cry on the spot.

“You do, don’t you?” He repeated, more of a confirmation for himself rather than a question to you. 

You didn’t want to think about it, but an evil little voice wondered if he treated others this sweetly too, if he was just as happy to be wanted by others.

“Are you always like this?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“Always?” Seungcheol didn’t seem to get the meaning behind the question, his expression not dimming one bit as he left little kisses on the corners of your lips before traveling down to your neck and collar bones. “What’s always?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed into the sensation, not willing to sacrifice this moment to your dumb jealousy. “Forget it.”

He chuckled into the crook of your neck. “You love telling me to forget, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Stirring awake the next morning, you were met with round eyes looking at you. They lit up with a smile when Seungcheol noticed you were awake. 

“Hey.” His voice was still raspy with sleep.

“Hey.”

“You don’t work today, right?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“It was Sunday last time.”

You nodded slowly, realizing you had exposed your own lie. “Right. But no work today.”

“Good.” He nuzzled closer, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. “Then we can stay in bed a little longer.”

You let him cuddle up to you, soaking in the way it felt to have him close to you and ignoring how much it would hurt to let go later on.

After what felt like hours just cozily spent in bed, you started to get hungry. You didn’t want to say anything nor did you want to leave, so you decided to just endure the feeling for a little longer. Your stomach sadly didn’t agree with that plan though.  It promptly started to rumble and of course Seungcheol had to hear it, too. 

“We should make breakfast,” he said, peeling himself off you with a cheeky grin. “Can’t have my clumsy bumpkin starving to death, can I?”

The fact he’d called you his let you completely forget the fact he was teasing you again. It just felt so good, so much like what you’d thought it would be like to be his in all your stupid dreams and delusions. Even more so, when he placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled you out of bed. You sat at his kitchen counter while he made coffee and toast and everything about it seemed just as if you were dating. As if you were in love.

After a breakfast that took way longer than it needed to, you decided it was time to go, despite his insistence on you staying longer. He saw you to the door again, pulling you back to him before you could leave for good.

“When I ask you to call me—” His eyes were on yours, intently watching your reaction. “Will you do it this time?”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. This is where you should have drawn the line. But you didn’t.

“Yeah.”

You didn’t just let the mistake become a choice. No, it ended up as a habit. And how could it not, when Seungcheol treated you so well? 

You texted him that you got home that day and Seungcheol took it as the OK to message you more frequently. He sometimes asked you about your day or told you about his and it did nothing to prevent you from growing more delusional about all of this. Mostly though he invited you over. You spent more weekends at his place than not, holing up in his bedroom until Monday rolled around and reality had you back.

The little arrangement between you and Seungcheol wasn’t exactly a secret. You hadn’t told anyone but it was clear that some of your friends suspected something—and of course they did, you left two parties together. And that didn’t even take into account that Wonwoo had somewhat caught you in the kitchen, though you doubted that he would tattle to anyone.

But despite the suspicions that some of your friends were bound to have, no one really said anything about it. You knew Seungkwan wanted to talk to you about it, but he seemed to always bite his tongue. In a way you were grateful for that. What was he going to say? That it wasn’t a good idea? That you’d end up getting hurt because Seungcheol wasn’t the type to settle down? You already knew all that. You didn’t need anyone to tell you.

While Seungkwan and such seemed to be in the know, others were completely oblivious about it. At least Chan was.

You were all sitting together in Hoshi and Woozi’s living room, drinking and playing games the way you always did. You tried to stay sober though—while Seungcheol and you hadn’t arrived together he did offer to take you back with him, and you didn’t want to be the only one between the two of you to be drunk. Thinking about it, you wondered if Seungcheol had sat out on drinking this often before, or if him staying sober to drive was a recent development. You didn’t get to philosophize about it for too long though, because Chan plopped down on the couch next to you, clearly feeling tipsy already. He had a wide smile plastered on his face as he nudged you in the side to get your attention.

“Hey, y/n,” he whispered loudly, the way drunk people do.

“Mhm?”

His smile grew even wider. “Wanna know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“But you can’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?” He held out his pinky finger to you.

You intertwined your fingers. “Promise.”

“I heaaard,” he playfully drew out the word in an attempt to create suspense. “Seungcheol is dating someone.”

It took a moment for his words to register, but when they did you felt sick to your stomach. 

“What?”

“I know, right?” Chan giggled. “Never thought he’d settle with someone but he seems serious. Or so I heard, he didn’t tell me personally so shhh,” he dramatically pressed his index finger to his lips.

“Who is it?”

“Mmmmh,” he looked thoughtful. “Probably someone from his classes?”

You nodded. Not because you understood—you clearly didn’t understand any of this at all—but because you were at a loss of how else to respond to this.

You should have known better. You had known better. Seungcheol would never be yours. But you just couldn’t stop yourself, you just had to indulge in the illusion. And now you were paying the price.

With a shaky voice you excused yourself, telling Chan you were going outside for a bit. Your vision was already blurry with tears when you stumbled to the door, taking in a deep breath of the cool air once you were outside.

How long was it going on already? Was he serious about them? Was he ever going to tell you? Of course you couldn’t expect him to be faithful—you weren’t even dating so what was there to be faithful about? But you were sleeping with him. Shouldn’t he at least tell you if he was sleeping with others, too? And shouldn’t he be faithful to whoever it was that he was dating?

You leaned against the cold house wall, trying and failing to keep your composure. No one was outside at this time, the street empty and dark, but you still felt incredibly exposed as you stood there, tears running down your face.

The muted music and chatter of the party could be heard coming from inside and it only made you feel worse. For a moment it grew louder and then there was the thud of the front door closing.

Your head snapped around just to be faced with the one person you didn’t want to see right now.

“I thought—” Seungcheol started, but when he saw you were crying he interrupted himself, his whole posture changing as he rushed over to you. “Y/n, what’s wrong?”

With a worried frown he reached out to cup your face, but you evaded the gesture, shooting him a defiant glare that probably looked way more pathetic than you would have liked, with your puffy cheeks and red eyes. 

“Nothing, really.”

“This doesn’t look like nothing.” His eyebrows drew together even further. 

“Just, you know,” you shrugged. "I should have known better than to get involved with someone like you."

Seungcheol eyed you, confused but also clearly offended. "Someone like me?"

"Oh, come on, you know exactly what I mean. Someone popular with a zillion friends and all that. Someone like you could never be serious about me." Your voice was hoarse from crying, taking away some of the heat in your words. But it was still enough to make Seungcheol angry.

"What are you even talking about? Our friends are literally the same and—” he let out an exasperated sigh, as if he was at a loss of words. “You know, you should really work on that inferiority complex of yours. It's not cute."

That stung. Maybe because you didn’t expect him to say such harsh words, or maybe because he was right, you did feel inferior, as if you weren’t good enough for him. 

“Whatever,” you pressed out, your voice shaky as a flood of new tears welled up in your eyes. “Not like it matters, since you found someone better than me anyway.”

His expression softened a little, unable to keep being angry when you were standing in front of him like a sobbing mess. When he reached out his hand this time, you didn’t back away and let him wipe away your tears with his thumb. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked, his voice confused but gente.

“I already heard it all,” you sniffed. “You’re seeing someone. Chan told me and he had it from—he didn’t tell me. But either way, I already know that you’re seeing someone,” you rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, “so we can stop this game already.”

“A game?” Seungcheol whispered, “Is it really just a game?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Would you be crying like this if it was?”

You shrugged. “Does it even matter? You’re seeing—”

“You,” Seungcheol interrupted. “I was talking about you.”

“Me?” You met his gaze in confusion. “But Chan didn’t say that.”

He huffed a laugh. “Because I didn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t sure if you would have been okay with that. I didn’t want to say anything at all before checking in with you, but it just kinda slipped…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “Either way. It was you, it was always you.”

“What’s always?”

“Always. Ever since I met you.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“But you’re,” you shrugged helplessly, “Seungcheol.”

“And you’re you. And I adore you. ” 

He smiled as he reached out his other hand too, cupping your face and brushing away any tears that were still clinging to your cheeks. “So, no more crying, hm?”

“No promises.” You sniffed again, but there was a small smile tugging on your lips too.

Seungcheol chuckled and pulled you into his chest, your arms naturally wrapping around his waist as he held you.

“So,” he started after a while, “if any of the guys were to ask who I’m seeing—” he let the sentence hang in the air, a playful tone in his voice.

“Then you can tell them it’s me,” you offered sheepishly.

He pulled away to meet your gaze. “And would it be true?”

“Yeah. It would be. Wouldn’t it?”

His face lit up with the smile you loved so much. “It would be.”

Masterlist

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so excited, cannot wait!!! super promising plus it's cheol ♡♡♥︎♥︎

ring of love; csc (teaser !!)

the ring doesnt always have to be filled with violence.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

contains; boxer! seungcheol, part-time barista! reader, gamer! wonu, part-time model! mingyu, rapper! vernon, vocalist! joshua (he appears for an open mic scene), they're all in college so college! au, psychology major! wonwoo, art major! vernon, art major! mingyu, business major! reader, business major! seungcheol, hhu playing cupid and matchmaker, no second lead syndrome drama kinda shit bcs i said so, childhood friends to lovers, seungcheol and reader lost contact somewhere in their teen years, seungcheol is an absolute simp for reader, multiple types of tropes to be found, seungcheol is rich (like absolutely filthy rich), same goes to the rest of the hhu (they don't flaunt it like how you'd expect most rich kids to do, just that occasionally reader would have a moment of realisation where she goes 'right, they have the money for that'), reader and her family aren't as rich but are well off enough to have a comfortable lifestyle (working middle class) there's fluff, some occasional angst

mature themes include; sexual tension, making out, lazily making out, fingering, oral (f&m receiving), dacryphilia, cheol is filthy rich and has a filthy mouth to go along with it, corruption kink, marking kink, unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), dom! cheol, sub! reader, light bondage, lots of cussing, etc

a/n; yaho~ ik i've been gone for what, 3 years? but, i am back baby! (read in shane/ryan's voice from buzzfeed/watcher) and first fic ofc, i'm dedicating it to my beloved husband, cheol <33 this fic basically proves my permanent residence in delululand lmao 🥴

click here to join the taglist ♡

"you... want me to join your endurance stream?"

a small hum was met with your question as wonwoo took a sip from his can of black monster energy drink. "...but, why..?" you asked, completely confused.

it wasn't as if you didn't like the idea, though you were caught off guard as the only games you've ever played were... well, more catered towards your style of aesthetic. games such as animal crossing, melatonin, a little to the left.

wonwoo's taste in games on the other hand, they were what you'd expect from majority of the male demographic on earth ㅡ FNAF, first person shooter games, he has a huge obsession with chilla's art games (to which you understand why after watching his playthrough of 'the closing shift' and 'night delivery').

the usual horror, thriller and action genre is what you're getting at.

"reason number one, you're pretty. and no, i'm not trying to hit on you," he then proceeded to raise his hand as if he was taking an oath, "i swear i'm not. i meant it as in, who wouldn't want to watch a pretty girl play games? i know your preferred genre of games and mine are two different worlds but, i'm sure we can compromise."

wonwoo surveys both your surroundings, seemingly to check whether the coast was clear; before propping his arms onto the coffee table and leaning forward.

"reason number two being if you join, i'll be able to get seungcheol to join too."

"so, you're getting me to join so you can get cheol to join?" placing a hand over your chest, you faked betrayal, "i feel so hurt that you're only using me as bait, woo."

"hey, i also want you to join, okay?"

taking a sip from your milkshake, you stared at wonwoo, urging him to continue his explanation.

"___, please. i even had the whole process of the endurance stream planned out! i just need seungcheol hyung to say yes, and you're the key to getting him to say yes!"

"woo, you're friends, of course he'll agree! i don't understand how i play a role in this. i'm sure bantering with mingyu, or even trying a 'no cuss' bet with vernon would be enough to get him to say yes."

shaking his head while sighing, he muttered out a "it's not that simple..."

"woo, i seriously don't get it."

"___, i'm going to be extremely honest, okay?"

you shoot the male sitting front of you a confused look, which prompted him to take a sip of his drink.

"this isn't the first time i've done an endurance stream, i'm sure you know that too. and i'm sure you've seen seungcheol join them but, not all the time. you'll notice it's usually gyu or vernon with me and chat's pretty much made it an inside joke that hyung's a rare pokemon sighting on my streams."

you let out a small laugh at seungcheol being called a rare pokemon sighting, which makes wonwoo smile.

"and, as of late, i've noticed that whenever we hung out, seungcheol would be there too. regardless if he had a match the previous night and his entire body is sore."

"but... we're friends, no? why wouldn't he be there?"

"okay, allow me to rephrase that sentence."

"mmm?"

"seungcheol hyung will only say yes if you're there too."

you're mouth opened slightly, shocked and confused. as you tried to process wonwoo's sentence, he added on.

"and this is just my assumption based on what i've observed from the day vernon introduced you up to now."

"you sound like a psychiatrist, woo..."

"i am a psychology student, no?"

"touché. and what have you concluded from your observation, mr jeon?"

"i think seungcheol likes you."

---

˗ˋˏ Between Glitz and Glamour ˎˊ˗ | 18+ Only

synopsis: love collects like the number of pearls on a string – scintillant under the shining spotlight, two ends clasped together to make one. however, one unforeseen tug can scatter the pearls, making them roll, bounce, and clack against the illegally sticky floors of the speakeasy. but one can’t help but chase the jewels, especially the one carved in the shape of lee jihoon.

member: lee jihoon

genre: angst, drama, romance, 1920s period piece | smut

tags: cursing, drunk characters, emotional constipation, food/drinks, jealousy, opposites attract, smoking, s2l // sax, settlements, and speakeasies | blindfold play, fingering, lap dances, mirror sex, oral, overstim, pet names (baby, daddy, whore...), pnv, pussy slapping, squirting...

wc: 15k

beta reader reviews: "OKAY DADDY I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU" - @multi-kpop-fanfics // "GODDDD I can't do this" - @heartkyeom // "HAHAHHAHAA FUCK IM IN TROUBLE" - @playmetheclassics

a/n: hihi you may see some recognizable characters sprinkled throughout the fic (hint @onlymingyus's duo). and giving a hugehugehuge thank you to my beta readers. this is a big piece I've been writing for months so thank you so much <33 chapters are separated and named by seasons for easy navigation - nu ♡

himbocoups's masterlist

one - spring

Sleek oiled hair with expensive Brilliantine and the tiny stray strand that falls from the slick that brushes against his forehead, the man’s Adam’s apple bobs and lowers as the man swallows another sip of his Manhattan. An amber drop seeps from his lips, seesawing on the rim of the stemmed cocktail glass he holds steady against his lips before racing downwards against the outside of the glass. He sets his drink on the sticky Oak tabletop before the drop of liquid can collect on his finger, never once breaking eye contact with his spoil for the night.

Dark brown eyes quickly flick from the woman’s eyes to his pant leg that rests against her inner heel, brushing against the open skin like a curtain as she unconsciously shifts her balance to her tiny kitten heel. She traces a manicured finger over his exposed collarbone, letting her hand glide downwards until it rests on his chest. Dorothy, she reminds him of her name, like the one from the novel. But he hasn’t read a novel since grade school, let alone hold one in his hand. He deceivingly nods like he understands her reference. Truthfully, he can’t even hear her over the live band and tonight’s drunk rowdy crowd in his speakeasy.

The Diamond Glass – an ironic name given the speakeasy’s connotations. Hidden in plain sight in the heart of the city, the speakeasy isn’t as transparent as the name suggests. And Lee Jihoon – as cunning as his cat-like features – operates his mom and pop grocery store front during the day and his speakeasy during the night, strictly and smoothly running his businesses like the automated belts in Ford’s motor car factories. A mastermind with too much money to blow and a throttle of criminal cohorts he calls his family, the man can’t help but let loose once in a while, especially when it comes to taking someone new home every so often.

And Dorothy, beautiful feathered brooch-wearing Dorothy with big brown eyes and arched eyebrows, is someone who Jihoon is willing to take home…or even in the kitchen pantry if he kicks the cooks out. But a disapproving look from his younger sister from across the bar is enough to give him second thoughts about taking her old classmate from high school home or anywhere, really. He clears his throat, two rough coughs with his hand brought up to his mouth, and peers at the woman in front of him. She doesn’t seem phased by the little break in their interaction and moves in to leave him a tiny product-stained peck along his jawline.

This action alone is enough to have him immediately forget about his sister’s disapproving looks and pull the lady into him by her waist, a tiny oop emitting from her matte-colored lips.

“Darling,” The word rolls smoothly off the tip of his tongue, landing softly against her cheek.

Before he can make another move on Dorothy, he feels a soft tap against the outside of his heel. And before he can even make the decision to ignore the tap, he hears the ever-so-familiar sound of shattering glass against his beloved speakeasy floors from across the room. The figure of a darting bouncer toward the center of the crowd and the manager, Seungcheol, following closely behind is enough for Jihoon to excuse himself from the self-proclaimed novel character Dorothy to attend to a crowd transforming into the shape of a circle.

He sees her for the first time in his life with her dirtied flimsy party dress, and the skirt under her knees, as she reaches around blindly for something probably important to her. There are a few clutched in her right hand, opalescent pearls, probably fake; her other hand is limp, tucked against her waist as if she doesn’t want anybody to notice her injury. He thinks if he turns his head back to Dorothy, he would be able to become ignorant of the fact that there’s shattered glass near the back of her heels, the same glass that he brought in the other day.

An entire five cents gone, just like that. He is forced to think, adding a note to his mental managerial book.

Mingyu probably kicked the man out, he hears a patron say to another person who asked. The man tried absinthe for the first time. Now he’s absent before the pianist can perform his set. Poor lady…poor lonely lady with her fine pearls. Heard that was the only drink she was clutching onto the whole night before the man knocked her over. Never seen her around before.

“Hey.” Seungcheol taps his boss’s shoulder, the other hand pinching the bridge of his nose in an act of annoyance. “Take her to get patched up.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he scowls. “Manage your patrons better.”

Still, he shuffles over to his customer and lifts her up by the waist, heaving her onto the nearest bar counter, probably separating two people from their conversation. He doesn’t care if they complain, for all he cares, they already paid for their drinks.

“You didn’t have to set me on the counter,” she says while fiddling with the fabric of her dress, her eyes never looking down to meet his. “Just a scratch on my hand, that’s all.”

Someone passes him a bag of ice wrapped in a dishcloth. The bartender probably, she remembers. She remembered him complaining in passing about how it gets so rowdy in this speakeasy, yet they can never find the time to restock their simplest first aid supplies. Something about how the big boss is stingy, but he can’t complain because he’s getting paid well.

The palm which holds her injured hand is warm and a little rough around the tiny calluses, a stark contrast to the cold ice which hits her outer hand and the soft and regularly washed dishcloth which creates a nice barrier to stop the coldness from stinging.

“The fabric isn’t flimsy, you know. It just looks that way because of how I draped it.” The comment comes out of her mouth compulsively, as if she needed to somehow bring up the topic in case he was staying silent because he was silently judging her getup. She can’t read him well, not under the lights and not even when his eyes flick to every other woman except for her. “I can ice it myself.”

“Nonsense.” He is curt with his words. “This shouldn’t have happened to you. My workers should’ve been better at watching out for rowdy customers. Please accept my apology on their behalf. Write down your bank account number, and I’ll pay for your dry-cleaning and for a new string of pearls.”

She thinks that maybe he isn’t as stingy as Joshua says or alternatively, maybe he can say those things simply because he’s wealthy. Either way, Lee Jihoon is just as handsome as the crowd says. It would be such a loss if she didn’t use this chance to strike up a conversation with him. For all that matters, he would be onto the next gal the moment he’s finished taking care of her.  

“Take me on a date,” she squeaks, heart pounding like footsteps on the pavement. “The pearls are fake, an-and I can clean the dress myself.”

“I don’t do dates, princess.”

“Then a non-date? With me.” This time, there is a bit more confidence in her tone. But it isn’t enough to shake him.

“Look.” He sighs and drops the melting ice bag onto the counter near her thigh. “You look like you’ve never stepped into a speakeasy before. You probably came here on a dare with one of your girlfriends from grade school, talking about how you need to step out of your comfort zone a little more and is now all balled up. I’m a criminal – dames like you should never be stuck on my bunch.”

“Then I’m a criminal for coming here voluntarily. Aren’t I?”

two - summer

Standing ovation.

He didn’t even know that a standing ovation could happen at a community theatre performance, but here he is, standing on the risers after the final Summer show, waiting for the second lead to finish talking to an important-looking man in fine business attire.

In his arms is a beautiful assembly of white and purple, a small handwritten card from the heart tucked in the middle of it all. This is the first time he attended a musical, and this is the first time he willingly attended anything for anybody outside of his family. Now he’s worried his sweaty palms left damp marks against the brown paper packaging of the bouquet he shopped for with his sister last night.

A couple of children’s costumes push against his backside while they run down the risers, but he doesn’t care. His eyes are trained on her – a light brown wig done in a giant updo with a giant white feathered attachment stuck at the very top and rosy floral clips trailing down the sides. Her stage makeup sparkles under the hot stage lights, a scintillant glow across the apples of her cheeks. She quickly maneuvers her flowers to one arm so she can reach her free hand out to receive the man’s business card. She thanks him as he walks away, leaving her in the middle of the stage, giggly and filled with glee. With brilliant white teeth and lips stretched thin, she practically bounces in her spot until she pauses for a minute, turning around to look for something or someone so important that she would rather share her happiness with them.

Maybe there is a part of him that wants to call out for her, for her to notice him then, and for her to notice him when he was in the crowd. He wants to convince himself that it shouldn’t be him who she’s looking for. But it’s not like Lee Jihoon would ever admit his feelings, not even months after spending time now and then with the tailoress who crawled on the dirty and sticky speakeasy floor to pick up her fake pearls.

God, her and her pearls, he thinks. There was no way he could ever end up with someone like her, practically floating around with her head in the clouds, dreaming about the day she would become a star. Too trusting of others, too gullible, too into him – he wonders why he would even allow himself to be cajoled into attending a stupid production by someone as idiosyncratic as her.

The tight grip around the metal rail loosens when she makes eye contact with him, eyes widening like her smile. And as vague as it sounds, it makes him feel lighter. Better even.

Noticing her friends crowd around her, he mouths “hallway” to her and slips into the darkness. He thinks it’s in his best interest if he doesn’t check to see if her eyes stayed trained on him when he left his place on the risers.

It’s not long until someone grabs his wrist guiding him along the hallway, past the green room, past the rest of the cast. Left behind in her wake is a trail of African Orange Flowers, Amalfi Lemon and Orange, and the powdery floral scent of the powder she uses to refresh her clothes. Coty’s Cyphre, the one she bought back in ’17 – her only perfume that she uses for special events. The liquid in the whimsical rectangular glass bottle that sits on top of her dresser is starting to turn a light amber hue, but she insists on saving each drop. It’s most condensed on the hand pulling his wrist, the same hand that slips downwards, interlocking both hands in a magnetic pull.

Finally seeing her up close, her big doe eyes staring at him and the meticulously swept-on stage makeup, he forgets he has flowers for her in his hands. He snaps out of his trance when he hears the soft muted crinkling of the brown paper packaging being removed from his arms. She stands in front of him in her empty dressing room, holding the bouquet like a newborn, and lowering her head to smell the flowers – eyes closed to breathe in the sweet floral scent deeply with a sigh.

“I uhh.” He quickly brings his right fist up to his mouth and clears his throat. “I liked the performance. It was nice.” He can’t look her in the eye – doesn’t even know what to say especially now that her dress’s strap slipped off her shoulder, bringing her collarbone into view. She must think he’s the daftest person in the world, and he almost crumbles at the thought of her seeing him through his hubris.

“What about me?” She blinks. Dropping her flowers on the counter where the wood meets a long wall of mirrors, she tests the waters by slowly crossing his threshold. One buttermilk-colored gloved hand glazes his tweed vest, but of course, she can never elicit a reaction from him. “What did you think about me?” She asks him, palm now fully against his vest.

If it were physically possible, Jihoon stutters without muttering a word – caught red-handed by the woman in front of him. Truth be told, he wasn’t really paying attention to the musical. Falling asleep during the last half of the first act and waking up when the orchestra started the entr’acte, he knew he should’ve stayed home after an especially rowdy night at the Diamond Glass. And he would have if it weren’t for his sister, who quite literally dragged him out of bed and kicked him to the curb.

I really don’t get why she likes you even though you’ve been dragging her along for around two months. You don’t even seem that interested in her, she told her older brother. So either end the situationship or make it a relationship. But after the musical! So don’t you dare come back until tomorrow morning…Seokmin’s coming over. 

But what does he think about her? What does he think about the woman in the bouncy polka-dot dress whose entire being is too utterly obsessed with him, the one who only talks about her dreams while floating on her imaginary clouds, the one who buys cheap costume jewelry whenever she can hoping one day she would trade her precious pearl necklace for a new one? The one whose lips he has to cover while in bed because her vocal cords aren’t the only things that he’s plugging.

Simply put, he thinks her to be annoying. They have almost nothing in common. He cannot stand the fact that she’s so dizzyingly ditzy that she cannot go a day without dreaming or talking about the glitz and glamour of her potential stardom, living in a constant state of hypotheticals. She somehow latched onto his side like a cat’s claw in a woolen sweater or a parasite who is too cheerful and optimistic even on bad days. Yet, despite everything, he doesn’t mind having her by his side.

“Come on Hoonie,” she whines. “Tell me.”

God, how he hates that nickname. Usually, he would tell her off for using that nickname but she’s a couple of centimeters away from completely pressing herself against his frontside, and the only thing he can concentrate on is definitely not her performance.

But it doesn’t matter anyway. While a celebration happens on the main stage, in an empty dressing room, two people try to devour each other like it is the last time they would ever meet. A few fallen stray petals crumple under the sole of his shoe as he rubs himself between her closed legs. Groaning as he feels her squeeze him between her bare thighs, sliding with ease as her warm juices lubricate his naked organ, he covers her mouth from behind as he slowly pushes himself into her.

And everything feels warm, hot – clothed bodies pressed against each other, the row of bright lights above the wall of vanity mirrors, her breath as she moans into his large palm over her mouth, and her spongy inside that often invites him in secret. The habitually voluble woman is reduced to nothing under his touch and tries to refrain from audibly moaning, knowing that she would be punished if she were loud.

So she finds something exciting in whimpering into the open air, feeling him twitch inside of her with every mewl that enters his ear as he slowly fucks himself into her. The more high-pitched she gets, the more it arouses him to the point where he completely loses his nonchalant front. The hand which once covered her mouth is now tilting her chin upwards as his other hand grabs her by her waist. And he watches through the mirror how her eyes roll upward as he ruts himself into her, smirking at how she melts against his chest, aching and begging him for more.

That isn’t to say that maybe the thought of how good the reflection of the two of them together looks crossed his mind once or twice. But he pushes the thought aside like the rest of his feelings for her and instead pushes deeper into her, moaning when he feels her convulse around him.

“Ah fuck babe,” she gasps while her knees bend towards each other, palms pressed against the mirror as she recovers from her high.

“Watch your language,” he instinctively mumbles, pushing her forward so that her elbows rest on the vanity. He lifts the hem of her skirt above her ass, bunching the costume fabric in his hand and laying it on top of her back. Her use of his pet name completely slips his mind as he sighs while slipping back inside of her, feeling the tight cushiony cunt squeeze around his cock. Any tighter he might have to fuck her on the floor to stop losing feeling in his legs.

The louder the party is downstairs, the more confident she is in moaning out loud. And the sounds coming from her mouth fuels his lust. His cock feels hard as hell, and he is so close to finishing. A trail of profanities rains from his mouth, praising her, commanding her, and telling her how he feels at this moment. And she smiles that lazy smile reflected in the mirror as she hiccups while the tip of his organ threatens to penetrate more than just her walls.

“Be mine, yeah?” She manages to ask him while he pulls her head back, her fake pearl necklace coming into view.

“You’re asking? Fuck. Okay fu-Jesus. Bend over. M-more for me, baby. More.”

With one easy yank, the brown wig slides off her head and collects in his fist. He thinks nothing of it and drops it on the floor next to a pile of fallen audition flyers, continuing to ram into her from behind, never missing a beat. Jostled around with each hard thrust, each remaining bobby pin that once held her wig in place fall to the floor one after the other.

Plink. Puh-link. Plink. 

The answer to her original question is still left unanswered.

three - summer

“So, when is your girlfriend coming?”

Lee Jihoon looks up from the several small plates of food in front of him to see his younger sister cocking an eyebrow at him before she looks at the spread of food he prepares. Quick to notice the slight pout of her lips and the soft twitch of her eyebrows, he knows a light-hearted complaint is about to come out of her mouth.

“It’s a double date, but you’re only serving us canapés. What do you want me to do? Starve?” She places a hand on her hip in disbelief.

“I never said it was a double date,” he corrects her while swatting one of her hands away from the deviled eggs, never batting an eye. “I only said we are going to taste test new finger foods for the speakeasy.”

“And the girlfriend?” She sneaks a bruschetta from one of the plates when he looks away, dumping the pile of finely diced tomatoes tossed with balsamic vinegar and spices into her mouth before following it with the piece of soggy-crunchy bread she holds. “W- where is sphe?” She asks him with her mouth full, swiping the edge of her mouth with the side of her pointer finger.

“Finishing an audition so she’ll be a bit late,” his tone is as monotonous as ever. He doesn’t pay her any mind, not when he’s stressing over minuscule plates of finger food.

It is a particularly slow Thursday night. The grocery store’s customers start to dwindle as Seokmin helps the remaining customers checkout their items before he can close the shop to restock and sneak his boss’s girlfriend into the speakeasy. And the younger sister who stands in the kitchen behind the speakeasy’s bar can’t help but stare at her older brother who somehow manages to assemble different types of small plates for four people at once. But it’s the fact that no amount of magnesium can fix his almost permanently clenched jaw that she knows something is bothering him.

“Hmm…” She takes his used cutting board and a stack of dirtied plates away from his area to bring to the sink to rinse. “I don’t like it,” she tells him while dropping the stack in the sink, wincing at the crashing sound.

“The bruschetta you stole?” He asks over his shoulder. Albeit, the way his tone angles upwards at the end, a squeak that he tries to hide by clearing his throat, is a clear tell that the quality of the food, or at least something related to tonight, greatly concerns him.

“No. It’s actually really good.” She restacks the dishes in the sink, thinking that it would be better to wash them all at once after dinner. “I was talking about you. Something’s bothering you.”

“You’re bothering me.” He frowns in his spot, bending over to adjust the garnish on one of the plates. “Go bother Seokmin. He’s probably crying while he’s running the grocery store alone without you by his side.”

“He’s a big boy. He can handle it,” she muses, humming while wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

“I’m telling you to climb up your thumb.”

“And I’m telling you that you have girl problems.”

Before he can turn around to confront his sister about minding her own business, two familiar voices enter the speakeasy from the hidden hallway connecting the employee room of the grocery store to the speakeasy’s office. Head perking upwards like a sleeping cat when they hear the familiar clinking of keys on a chain when one unlocks the front door, Lee Jihoon’s entire attitude and disposition seem to shift into the positive. And the sister almost snickers at the sight.

---

Clearly less stressed than before, Lee Jihoon still walks around more reserved than usual. He left the small talk to the others and only chimed in when spoken to. But the one hand that found a home around her waist, on her shoulder, in her hand, said something otherwise. And maybe it’s not a lie when others say that being around your favorite person could make all your worries go away. The way that his tiny fangs come into view when she gushes about her audition, the unnoticeable squeeze he gives her hand when she talks about calling off sick for work in order to practice for the audition, and the blush on top of his already flushed face when she tells the other couple that she couldn’t have done it without him by her side…it did make his worries go away, at least for the time being.

Two hours later, the siblings are once again in the speakeasy’s kitchen, cleaning the used and empty dishes while the other two chat away near the stage where they plan for a duet in the future. There is an empty bottle of homemade red wine left to dry next to the dish rack. He sits by himself on the stool near the sink, holding a half-filled wine glass in one hand, promising to finish off the rest of the bottle by himself before his team comes in to open the speakeasy within the next hour.

“Hey, be honest. What’s eating yo-”

“She told me she loved me this morning.” He cuts off his sister’s question while staring at his sorry expression through the soft reflection against the burgundy-red liquid.

“Oh…OH?” She doubles back.

“I wasn’t able to reciprocate it,” he sighs. “It came out of nowhere.”

There isn’t anywhere to sit so she decides to squat next to him, taking the glass out of his hands so she can finish it for him. Of course, she would be worried about the man who never seemed to be able to keep a relationship or even enter one look so distraught over a quip in his relationship. Finding out it was about the question of love, she can’t help but pry more out of him, never experiencing this kind of talk with her older brother in the past. But when she sees his eyes squint at the hem of her everyday dress draped across the dirty kitchen placemats and him immediately getting up from his stool so she could sit, she knows that he would be fine.  

“What’s next? Do you think you’ll have to break up with her?” She tries to push his buttons.

“No.” He hears the familiar tuning note in the distance, echoing throughout the empty speakeasy. “Maybe I would be able to reciprocate it someday,” he mumbles while scratching the side of his head.

She chugs the rest of the wine, earning a disapproving look from her older brother, and rinses the glass in the sink.

“I think I’ll have my gentleman walk me home now…leave you to work.”

He takes her glass out of the sink and immediately washes it again, not trusting that she could truly clean it in her inebriated state.

“Make sure he gives you his jacket. It’s starting to get chilly outside.”

“How can it be chilly? It’s only the beginning of Summer.”

“Also, don’t walk. Take my breezer keys from my office drawer,” he tells her while she hugs him goodbye. “And tell him to drop her off, yeah? She must be tired.”

“From the audition?”

“Yeah…the audition.”

“Are you sure you don’t love her?” She squeezes his shoulder. “Don’t think too much about it, okay?”

“I-” He looks like he is about to say something but drops the notion. “Get home safe.”

It comes out like a sigh – a dilatory action to avoid her question. 

four - summer

There are only a few ways to command a room in a crowded speakeasy on an especially sweltering hot July Summer night. And only a few can truly get the room to become so quiet that everybody inside can hear conversations outside of the sturdy soundproof walls of the speakeasy.

She stands onstage next to one of the lead singers of the week. Seungkwan, the lead’s name, tries to pry open the newspaper to the right page but struggles to find any grip between the smooth-printed paper and his dry fingertips. The action causes the crowd to groan, but a singular and sharp shh sound emitted from the speakeasy’s owner’s mouth at the back of the crowd causes the entire crowd to acquiesce and grow silent again.

Seungkwan swipes the tip of his pointer finger across his tongue and rubs the wetness against his thumb. The younger man smiles when he finds his grip and immediately flips to the right page, right to the location of the musical advertisement. He shifts his body away from the eager dame, oscillating ball to heel, who is dressed like a patron of the Ritz just for this special occasion. Left pointer finger skimming through the cast members, he skips ahead and heads straight to the ensemble.

From the crowd beneath the stage, one could see the top of the singer’s head, eyebrows, and a pair of eyes right above the top of the newspaper. The man on the stage holds the newspaper to the crowd, showing them the content like a schoolteacher reading to their class.

“Ensemble!” he yells. “And the understudy for the lead!”

The ebullient cheers that follow the announcement fill the speakeasy – a newfound cause for celebration. A regular in this establishment is about to star in a mainstream musical and they are all about to get bragging rights. And the dame whose name is printed on thousands of newspapers stands on stage, quite clearly in shock. Lace-gloved hands covering her mouth and the recovered fake pearl necklace hanging from her neck, she can only allow tears of joy, of jubilation, to fill a reservoir in her eyes. Months of hard work, hours upon hours of practice, sore muscles, and a dream to work toward – there’s a realized catalyst to her belief that nothing that she had worked toward, worked for, and dreamed about had ever gone to waste.

And he, Lee Jihoon, continues to stand in his place at the back of the Diamond Glass, unmoving like the Statue of Liberty. He sees his Ritzy moll under the spotlight, shining, scintillating in all her newfound glory. Where he would usually be focusing on the crowds of men with fat pockets rushing to the bars, he can’t help but keep his eyes on his girlfriend.

His mouth moves on its own. Opening. Tongue touching the back of his front teeth. The last syllable forms a pout. Three words formed without any sound.

The thing is, she sees him. Even from the stage in the front of the room, the only person she can clearly see silently supports her from the back of the crowd. To her, he is, and always will be, her only glowing entity in the pitch dark. And she directs a fabulous smile at him. She knows.  

---

“F-fuck!” Her stomach jolts when she feels his thick fingers exiting her leaking cunt.

“Aww my baby is so vulgar, isn’t she? Wanting to fuck in public while everybody else is getting drunk and celebrating her?”

The owner of the Diamond Glass leans back into the beautiful moss green leather executive chair with the cherry wood elements that his workers gifted him on his past birthday. Spread across his matching cherry wood desk are the gams belonging to the woman the entire speakeasy is celebrating. And the new musical actress shudders at the feeling of her naked and throbbing core against the cold office air while she lies with her back against the desk, dress pulled up and bunched around her breasts. And he smirks in his seat, his left hand moving to his neck to loosen his necktie while his right hand reaches into his desk drawer to draw out a long wooden object. 

“Left or right hand, baby?” He asks her while palming himself in his seat, his zipper already down and his erection dripping with precum.

“L-Left,” she stutters while staring at the ceiling, heart beating fast.

“Left what?” He spreads his thighs a little more, relaxing into his seat while he slowly strokes himself to the fleshy sight in front of his face.

“Daddy,” she chokes, her back arching off the wooden surface, fake pearl necklace clacking against the desk, her wanting to feel anything and to be given anything by the man who sits behind his desk.

He moves the oblong object into his left hand and rubs the precum off his head with the pad of his right thumb. Like a painter branding their work of art, Jihoon marks her soft nub with his precum, smearing it on her as if he is marking his territory. And she moans from his touch, every inch of her body prickling with heat.

Thinking for a couple of seconds while stroking himself with his right hand, he finally decides, “We’re not leaving this room until we see your pretty pussy squirt on daddy. Hold still for me Sweetheart.”

With no time for her to react, he brings the object down on her opening, fast. The slapping sound of the wooden ruler against her fragile clit rings throughout the room – threatening to drown out the sounds of people partying on the other side of the guarded door. The euphonic sound of her squealing, the way her thighs close and immediately open like the whore she is, only edges him more.

He slaps her pussy again, bringing down the makeshift paddle quickly. Then again. And again.

She cries in response, tears leaking down the sides of her face as she calls out to him Daddy, daddy, yes! Daddy – s-shit. Please! More! Use me. Withering in her spot, she feels nothing but the euphoria and the stinging sensation that makes her sex clench, builds her high, and causes her eyes to roll to the back of her head. And he relishes in watching and hearing her positively react, feeling his high build in the palms of his hands.

However, like the businessman he is, he thinks what is in front of him is not enough. So he drags his heavy seat closer to his desk till his face is directly in front of her cunt when he is seated. And he knows that he didn’t take that much time to adjust his seat, but her fingers are already dipping into her sopping cunt without permission – a dainty middle finger slowly and repetitively entering her sex and pulling out while she sighs in relief.

Irritated by her actions, he uses his precious ruler to nudge her hand away from her cunt. He drops his ruler on his desk and immediately, by bringing his empty hand against her cunt and feeling her jolt under his fingers, pulls his hand back to slap her again.

“Whore.”

This single word leaves his mouth, laced with disgust. But it causes her to reach her high, her body jolting as she comes. He uses this moment to put his face against her cunt, burying his tongue in her folds, licking and prodding while his strong hands grab hold of her thighs to steady her while she shakes against the tabletop. He lets himself be buried in her cunt, pushing his nose against her nub and lapping her juices like it’s his only source of water. Teasing her with the tip of his tongue, he kitten licks her cunt until she shakes under his hands and sends a long and flat stripe up her folds.

Overstimulated by him eating her out while she orgasms, by him punishing her by sticking his tongue up her vagina, all she can do is slur her cries – so, so, so entirely intoxicated by him against her sex. And the frail cry turns into a scream when he pulls out his tongue and slaps her one last time – the sharp pain against her bodily exhaustion causes her to squirt, wave after wave, coating his unbuttoned button down and lubricating his open and exposed chest.   

Her high blinds her so much that the can only see the deep red marks his fingers left on the outside of her thighs and the splotchy purple along her inner thighs when she recovers in the morning.

And the poor part-time bouncer, the law student with the circular glasses, can only keep a stoic face as he stands on the other side of the door. Because he knows that if he even reacts, even hints to others why he is guarding the office door, he would suffer a fate a lot worse than being fired from his boss’s precious speakeasy.

five - fall

He arrives home at around two in the morning and finally gets to enter the comfort of his bed at around three. The girlfriend who was lying in bed awake, waiting for her boyfriend to come home, is now completely lost as to why her sweetheart would even start an argument with her saying that she should have gone to bed without him. For months now, all she wanted was communication from someone who loves knowing everything and every single detail about everybody around him, but she can never seem to scratch more than his surface-level answers. And everything she does at that moment, including being awake for him, seems to tick him off even more than it should. And she is frustrated, not knowing what to do or how to confront him.

“You’re upset,” she points out.

“I’m not upset,” he retaliates, his tone a lot harsher than how he meant it to sound.

“You didn’t call me ‘Babe.’ You didn’t greet me when you came home.” She sits up from her side in his bed, the bedsheets falling just below her neckline. She hugs the sheets tightly to her chest. “You’re clearly upset.”

Truth be told, Lee Jihoon is definitely upset. They are in the middle of their first mini-argument, but it is hard to even begin a full-fledged fight when one side is extremely talkative and open about their feelings while the other side is the polar opposite. And the polar opposite in this situation only wants to sleep in his king-sized bed, too tired to even talk to her. Because in his heart, he knows that he would accidentally take his frustrations built from an amalgamation of happenings out on her through his language, and he knows that the only way to avoid that outcome is to avoid her altogether.

Continuing to look at his ceiling, he stubbornly ignores the woman he holds so precious to his heart, thinking that it would be better that way.

“Lee Jihoon,” she says his full name. “Talk to me. Why won’t you talk to me?”

Muscles tense under his blanket when he hears his name, and he stiffens in his place in bed. He can feel her getting more upset with every second he spends ignoring her – but it’s not like she isn’t used to him ignoring her. That’s how their relationship started anyway.

He knows he could just tell her. He knows he doesn’t even need to look her in the eyes to talk to her, to tell her how much of a bad day he has had. Just a couple minutes explaining how he is upset because the police stopped his men from unloading the grocery stock truck when they mistook the contents of the truck for alcohol, how the police almost found out about the speakeasy, how Seokmin proposed to his sister without his permission, and how he punched Seokmin would have been enough to put the both of them at ease.

But he is as hardheaded as they come, and he doesn’t have an answer for her – he doesn’t know why he won’t share his feelings with her.

A scintillant flash glimmers at the corner of his eye, and his bedroom is much too dark for any regular object to be shining so brightly. So he turns his head toward the object only when it catches his eye another time.

Lo and behold are two brilliant diamonds sitting proudly on her earlobes. And for a man who has seen all of his girlfriend, he has never seen them before – no matter how small they are.

“What are those?” he asks her, sitting up to get a better look at the earrings. And he frowns when he sees something prominent missing from her neck. “Where’s your pearl necklace?”

“Tossed it,” she answers a little too nonchalantly for his liking – as if the necklace that she always wore around her neck as a reminder that she would make it big and replace it with a chain of real pearls someday meant absolutely nothing to her.

“What?” His mouth is agape. His stubborn demeanor attenuates while his curiosity slowly appears.

He thinks that she’s joking – playing a little prank on him. But when he sees her staring at her manicured fingertips, pushing back her cuticles with her thumb, he can only accept the fact that she may not be joking. And it stings him a little because of the number of times she firmly turned his offer to buy her a piece of jewelry – a pearl necklace – as a gift, taking umbrage at his thoughtful request.

“Oh, Hoonie. I know you’re about to lecture me about sticking to my dreams. But I got my first big paycheck from the musical, and I saw how glittery and beautiful the diamond earrings looked at Tiffany’s in the department store so I had to buy them.”

Suddenly, his skin under his latest sleepwear under his heavy duvet blanket feels unbearably hot. He feels agitated by her actions even though it doesn’t pertain to him at all. And even more so, he finds himself furrowing his eyebrows at the way she shifted from being upset with him not wanting to talk to her to suddenly forgetting about her anger just because of some real diamonds from the cheapest section. The thought of everything upsets his stomach and makes his jaw clench so hard that one accidental budge could grind his molars flat.

He knows that he can be a bit of an ass all the time and that before he took their relationship seriously he was still flirting with other women while she stupidly latched onto his arm in his speakeasy. He hates hearing his workers tease him about becoming the type of man who would finally settle down with a lovely dame. Nevertheless, her name used to only form from his lips, while they now form from the innermost portion of his heart. And still spends nights wondering how the hell someone like him can manage to fall in love with someone like her – especially the “live in the moment” type of person.  

“Aww,” she whines while shaking his right arm. “I know you’re doing your dumb calculations in your head. It’s fine. I still have leftover money from when I worked two jobs.” She pauses and continues in a sultry voice, holding his right hand in one hand while she tiptoes her fingers along his bicep, “And, I also had enough money left over from this shopping spree to make another purchase.”

She moves before he can ignore her out of spite, letting her bedsheets fall to the mattress as she stands on her knees. Under the yellow light emitting from the art deco nickel-plated lamp from Jihoon’s bedside is a silhouette, a shadow of her figure, cast against the wall. Milk yellow satin bows that sit on top of her shoulders keep her chemise from falling. And the lingerie itself, a square neckline lined with thin hand-embroidered lace, cinches at the waist and drops downwards in a pillowy-soft see-through fabric. The same thin hand-embroidered lace forms garters around her thighs, holding up knee-high socks with tiny bows sewn in the front.

“You don’t want this?” She teases him by letting go of his hand to trace a finger along her neckline.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, holding out his right hand for her to take again. “Of course I want you. Let me take care of you tonight.”

“No, Love.” She crawls over to him, moving her right thigh over his legs until she straddles his hips. Griding down on him, she places her hands around his neck. “Let me.”

Not able to keep his cool-headed persona, his head tips backward so a soft moan can naturally escape his lips. On his lap is the weight of her entire body – random atoms bundled so tightly, creating cells, creating organs, creating and completing the love of his life. He misses her pearls, the stupid piece of cheap jewelry that tarnishes with every scratch against hard surfaces – like his skin when her nails dig into them, leaving bright and stinging red trenches masked by the fire he feels at his core.

The love of his life on top of him, feeling and teasing herself, calling herself names that may never leave the bedroom…he almost wants to bend her over the bathroom sink to wash her mouth, scrub it raw, and peck the pouty lips and then the eyelids where her lashes tickle his bottom lip. Reveling in his private lap dance as much as a man can at half-past three in the morning, he can only stare at her with so much love that the feeling alone sucks and strips away the color in the life around him. And when his mouth is stuffed with her soaked undergarment and she reaches for his pants, he knows he is done for.

Bedsheet roughly thrown to the side, and the weight of its fall knocks over today’s unread paper placed towards the edge of the nightstand. The paper falls to the floor along with the bedsheet and opens to the entertainment page. Leading Lady FIRED, the headline reads. A summary of the contents is as follows: leading lady was fired because she was caught auditioning for another role while she was supposed to be at practice for her current musical, her no-name understudy will take over her role for the rest of the season, and critics hypothesize either the birth of a new shining star or the failure of an entire production caused by a chain of events.

six - fall

A giant star follows the signature that finishes with a flourish, etched with the black expensive ink from the solid gold Sheaffer “Propel – Repel – Expel” Pencil from the Giftie Set that is supposed to come out at the end of October for this upcoming holiday season. The owner of the receipt that is now etched with the signature of someone famous thanks the musical actress again – still trying to fathom how such a famous actress shops at the same local grocery store as she does – before leaving through the front door.

Chic coffee-colored suede fabric of the light long coat in Philippe et Gaston’s winter collection – not yet released and imported straight from Paris – flows and flaps against the current that rushes in when the patron with the signature leaves the grocery store. Once again, the coat peacefully settles right above her calves when the wind breaks its trail. The actress tucks her pen back in its leather case where the second pair of the Giftie Set is missing – in fact, the matching retractable fountain pen rests in the lapel of the grocery store owner’s coat at all times. She drops the case in her black clutch and snaps it close. Old cut, 0.40-carat yellow and platinum diamonds – two of them in oval drops – collect and accentuate the front of her open collar, gifted by her loving boyfriend. They sparkle against the afternoon sunlight that shines through the shop’s open windows, glimmering and glistening like the love they are meant to represent.

The understudy-turned-leading lady adjusts how her white cloche hat sits on top of her head before turning to look at Seungcheol who leans against the wall behind the cashier counter, furiously whispering into the telephone. It seems as if he doesn’t want to be disturbed, or even be acknowledged. He quickly hangs up the phone and rushes through the backdoor, straight to his boss’s office.

The second owner of the store, the sister, recommends the newspaper with the musical reviews to a customer. There’s a sly smile on her face, the hidden excitement of knowing that the actress whose glowing musical reviews in the newspaper is only a few feet away. Still, she maintains her polite and professional front.

Softly humming to herself while walking around the store, the actress thinks about the items she wants to pick up for her new agent before she meets him for the first time at the radio station. She settles on a soft drink for him and water, no, tea for herself before going to the counter where her fake sister-in-law waits.

“You waiting for Hoon?” the younger one asks while grabbing a brown paper bag from under the counter.

“Yeah,” she sighs while unclasping her bag so she can reach in to grab her coin pouch. “I was supposed to remind him about the radio show today, but he left the house in a rush. I rang him a few times, but I couldn’t even reach him.” She shakes her head while unzipping her coin pouch with her gloved hands.

The cashier tsks and pushes the outstretched hand with the coins away, “Just take the bag. You know my brother will come for my head if he finds out you visited and paid for something. How can I wear a veil during my wedding if I don’t have a head?”

“And you know it hurts my dignity knowing that I can afford at least two drinks,” she pushes back. “Plus, Seokmin would love you even without that pretty head of yours.”

“Take the bag, and bunk off. Dingus,” she mutters, her cadence eerily mirroring that of her brother’s.

“Don’t call her a Dingus.” Jihoon’s voice appears out of nowhere. He finishes tying his apron around his back before shoving his sister to the side. “Only I can call her Dingus.”

“Nobody can call me a Dingus,” the girlfriend remarks and proceeds to drop her coins in the tip jar before taking her bag of drinks from the counter. “Flag me a cab, yeah? I came to remind you about today’s show.”

Immediately acquiescing to her request, he nods his head and quickly scrambles to meet her on the other side. He grabs the paper bag from her arms, afraid that it may be too heavy for her, and guides her to the front of the store. From there, he brings his thumb and pointer finger together and puts them between his lips, whistling loudly to flag a cab.

“Today at three,” he smiles at her. “I didn’t forget.”

A cab pulls to the curb before he can strike up a conversation with her, and he has no choice but to help her in the cab and hand the paper bag back to its owner. And it hurts him a little more when the cab driver drives off before he can kiss her on the cheek. But watching her head pop out of the window while the cab drives away and that big smile of hers coupled with a waving hand, he can’t help but feel like the luckiest man on this Earth.

---

“You closed the shop early and demanded us to come in not for training but because of your girlfriend?” Chan, the part-time bouncer slowly asks as if he is trying to understand his boss’s thought process. “Hoonie wants us to help him get a radio shout-out from his kitten? Meow?”

Mingyu immediately tosses the student over his shoulder and heads over to the speakeasy before Jihoon can physically lunge at his worker. Seungcheol, who may be the only employee who can physically restrain the man without getting fired, lets go of Jihoon when Mingyu and Chan are finally gone.

“Anybody who stays for the entire duration gets a bonus,” Jihoon growls while straightening his collar.

The rest of the group nods and mumble among themselves as their boss adjusts the radio they have all crowded around to the correct frequency. Instantaneously, a familiar laugh fills the tense atmosphere and eases everybody it reaches.

Wow. I can’t believe both of you knew what you wanted to be and where you wanted to go since you were kids, the radio host recounts. Your parents must be so proud.

They are. A masculine voice – the seasoned musical lead. They have a collection of posters from all of the musicals I’ve been in…signed by the cast and everything. They’re so special to me.

That’s so sweet of them to do so, the host responds. Speaking of special people, and I’m pretty sure everybody tuning in wants to know, does our leading lady currently have someone special?

Jihoon’s ears perk up when he hears the question and immediately glow bright red when he notices several pairs of eyes trained on him. He shoots a glare at his crowd before awkwardly adjusting in his seat while he waits for his beloved to respond.

Oh, me? She giggles. I’m happily single.

And the answer shocks everybody – the grocery store becomes so quiet that you can only hear the hums emitting from the refrigerators.

So you’re saying if you’re single and your handsome co is also single, the host presses, then that means there’s a chance that the two of you could possibly become a couple by the end of your season?

Laughter – hearty guffaws from the radio and small awkward hiccups on the other end of the radio.

I mean, the host recounts, word on the street is that there are quite a few kiss scenes in this musical. Not to mention the chemistry the two of you share on stage and off stage. No wonder it’s so popular!

The door to Jihoon’s office slams shut, echoing throughout the establishment. It is only then that the employees of the Diamond Glass finally notice that their boss has angrily left the scene.

seven - fall

Holding her jaw open with one hand, Jihoon bends over and watches his spit fall onto her awaiting tongue, how the liquid bubbles and collapses against the papillae of the muscular organ. Once he shuts her mouth, his hand moves back to her throat where he can clearly feel the way her Adam’s apple bobs against the palm of his hand when she swallows his spit.

Every time he squeezes her esophagus, her velvet walls clench and flutter around his cock while she prays and begs him to take off her blindfold.

But he doesn’t respond. Even when he hears her beg, her: Daddy, Daddy, please. Please take off my blindfold so I can be a proper slut, so you can ruin my pussy. Use me, please. He doesn’t budge. Not today.

Tonight, Lee Jihoon is not taking any requests: he only has one goal on mind.

He has her body memorized – the familiar feeling of hitting the exact spongy part to cause her to orgasm, how much pressure the rough pads of his fingertips must exert on her clit. He rolls his hips for her to take him in deeper until his throbbing tip reaches an end, and he extracts himself and thrusts inwards without pause. The hand around her neck loosens and travels downwards towards her breasts, cupping, squeezing, and pinching the nipples until they turn into sore and hard little nubs. He massages them and watches how they fill the gaps between his fingers with every rough squeeze.

She’s as loud as ever. Back arching, she begs her boyfriend to make her feel good instead of playing with her. She’s already tired of being used despite her excessive begging.

As much as he knows exactly how to make her come undone, he knows exactly the steps he has to take to make himself feel good in her. And he grabs both thighs, pushing them back and spreading them wide to give himself a better angle. Roughly, he rocks his hips into her tight little pussy with so much force that it sends her sliding a few inches backward, the bed creaking.

“Oh- FUCK!” she gasps.

Thrusting aggressively, he bites his bottom lip while he stares at the headboard ahead of him. His fingers dig deep into her thighs and she struggles to moan as her entire body jostles up and down in repeated motions. Everything comes out in segments.

He fucks her roughly and without any ounce of kindness. And when her pussy could clamp around his cock just a few moments ago, it fails to hold on the more she becomes his personal fucktoy instead of his girlfriend. She’s confused and horny, her pussy feeling sore yet amazing while being ripped apart by his thick and veiny cock; he’s close to his release.

The thing is, she’s not even close to coming when his hips jerk and buck in place before he finishes in her. He silently pulls out, rolls off his condom, ties it, and tosses it in the trash can while leaving her in bed. He doesn’t even give her a second glance when he tells her he is headed for the roof.

“What the fuck,” she mutters under her breath while she plants her feet against the mattress. She rips the blindfold off her face and decides that if he’s not going to help her finish, she would do it herself.

If he doesn’t need her, then she sure as hell doesn’t need him.

---

She watches him from the door to the roof as he inhales and lets the pillowy smoke flow out of his mouth. It’s interesting to her how the length of a couple of days can turn two people, as close as they are, into complete strangers. And she is lost as to how such a loving man, no matter how cold he may seem to those who aren’t acquainted with him, could ever act as if his love for her somehow became conditional. 

People say that love can keep people even in the coldest and darkest places warm. Maybe she does believe it to be true, but now, staring at the man she loves the most from a few feet away, the warmth feels more like a memory than a presence. Midnight air nips at her skin, raising goosebumps and causing her arm hairs to stand straight, while he looks blissful or at least contented to be alone with his pack of cigarettes. She doesn’t even know that he had a pack on him. 

People also say that love can make you become either really brave or really dumb, but that’s like comparing apples to oranges. Even she is confused about whether or not confronting him at the top of his brownstone tonight is the bravest or dumbest thing she can do. But her actions happen before she can really register what is it that she wants from him. 

“Is this about me not kissing you before I got into the cab the other day?” Okay, at least it comes off as a passive joke to hide her anger. “It’s because we were in public.”

“Since when have you ever cared about kissing in public?” he gruffs, making it a point to turn his body away from hers. 

His irritable attitude towards her makes her tick. And she scoffs, “Stop bullshitting me, Jihoon. If you miss a kiss, then you can make up for it later on. And I did.” She marches towards the side he is facing and leans against the half-wall balcony. “Remember how we promised to always be open about what’s bothering us? Like the night where I bought the diamond earrings and you were pissed about the engagement?”

“Oh, so it’s my fault.” He rolls his eyes. His temper isn’t the best either. 

“When the fuck did I say it’s your fault?”

“Watch your mouth,” he mutters. 

“Watch my mouth?” she criticizes his hypocrisy. “You won’t even open your mouth to tell me about what’s bothering you. What am I? Some sort of scapegoat for your anger?”

“My anger?” he asks, pointing at himself with the hand that holds his cigarette between his knuckles. His question is rhetorical as well as the answer, but his ego refuses to accept the fact that she isn’t wrong. 

“Yes, your anger,” her voice suddenly calmed. “Please work with me here. Can’t you see I’m trying to solve whatever this is between us? Is it because of Jeonghan’s comment? About how he heard about the unscripted kiss during one of our scenes?”

“So it was real,” he scoffs, turning his head to look at the view ahead of him. He wishes that the soft breeze which tickles and ruffles the tops of the several rows of trees below him can also whisk him away from this conversation. 

“Acting, Jihoon. It was just us acting.” She can’t believe the productive conversation she imagined having with his is taking a turn for the worst. 

“Why don’t you just date him instead because, apparently, I’m not your boyfriend anymore.” His retort is unfairly childish, but it implies some of his underlying concerns are slowly making their way to his surface. His mouth tastes dry and the warm and fuzzy high he felt before she disturbed his peace is already gone. He taps the ashes away against the brick edge before bringing the bud to his lips again. 

“Is this what was bothering you the whole time? The scripted radio show?” She sighs and brings her hand up to her temple to pinch and rub away the pain. Instead, she only feels a swelling sensation form and collects in the inner corners of her eyes. “It was the first time I met this new agent. And I had to listen to him because of his experience in the industry. He said that revealing our relationship might ruin my career, especially taking into consideration how hard I’ve worked for it. So I couldn’t discuss the boyfriend thing with you ahead of time because it was sprung on me the minute I sat down with him.” 

To her side is a man who had grown accustomed to having a cup of tea every morning instead of his usual cup of coffee after learning that his girlfriend doesn’t drink coffee. A man who regularly keeps his kitchen shelves stocked with various teas around the world as his way of saying how much he loves her, he could help but appease his curiosity as to what some measly leaves could offer to a person. The difference in caffeine made him feel a bit woozy at first, a remarkable We should call you Woozi with an I from the way you keep slipping in and out of consciousness from the one called Vernon. But now, he finds pleasure in walking around with a white mug, the tea bag’s string expertly looped twice around the top of the mug’s handle, tucked between his knuckles and mug.  

She knows how much of an asshole he can be, how hard it is for him to physically say “I love you” when others are around, and how he finds it challenging to even begin to open up and talk about his problems. But it may be her greatest downfall, believing that she could completely change a man whose flaws drew her in like a moth towards an open flame.

“I hate it when you smoke,” her voice quivers. She feels small next to the well-built man beside her, but she doesn’t know whether or not she should continue to try to reason with a brick wall. “It’s bad for my lungs.”

The thing is, Lee Jihoon is a good listener. Probably trained by his sister after taking care of her by himself for so many years, his listening skills make up for his lack of good communication skills. And he snuffs his half-burned cigarette against the brick edge, tossing it to the floor of the roof and rendering it destroyed with the heel of his shoe.

When he wraps her in his arms as a way of saying Sorry, I was in the wrong, she notices how cold he must be feeling. His cold skin immediately burns hot the moment it comes into contact with hers.

“I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” His apology is muffled against her strands of hair. “I really do love you.”

“Do you think we’ll be fine?” She asks him. It’s more of a need for confirmation – the reason for confirmation is murky.

“I don’t know.” His heart feels like it’s beating harder than usual, and he’s pretty sure she can also feel it. “I’ll try.”

Jealousy is a vile disease that can overtake and completely alter a person. And she realizes that the man who usually instills jealousy in those around him is also capable of being infected.

eight - winter

Tonight’s drink of choice is his usual Manhattan poured into a whiskey glass and garnished with a fresh slice of lemon instead of his usual olive, cherry, or lemon peel twist. However, it sits untouched on a handmade coaster on the desk in its owner’s office while the owner is nowhere to be found. Condensation on the outside surface of the glass pools at the bottom of the circular glass, held together in a ring thanks to cohesion forces. The cubed block of ice that sat in the middle of the sink now floats to the top in a sort of watery layer just above the alcohol. Pitch-black is what describes the office – nobody would even know Lee Jihoon considered drinking alcohol tonight, let alone visited his office.

Joshua thinks his boss is probably in his office calculating the cost of each ounce of alcohol against the recipe for every drink, knowing how stingy he can be. He also notices the lack of a cheerful presence that makes his boss’s ears flush bright red. But he doesn’t say anything about it, after all, bartenders are always here for the gossip but never participate in spreading gossip.

Jihoon sits in the dark of his grocery store near the entrance where the porch light shines brightly through the glass windows. His shoulder blades, especially the upper area towards the middle of his neck and shoulders, are screaming in pain. And the empty crate he uses as a stool is anything but comfortable.

It’s not a particularly big grocery store. It’s more like a rectangular hole-in-the-wall about the size of the speakeasy's kitchen. There are open crates of neatly stacked fruits and vegetables in front of the counters for customers to choose themselves while all of the other goods are behind the counters. Where walls of groceries line the four walls and the walking space is only large enough to have five different customers comfortably shop at once, Jihoon feels that the tiny front for his speakeasy becomes his sort of personal sanctuary. His sister is barely at home now that she’s in the process of moving most of her stuff to Seokmin’s place, and the tiny changes he made around the house to accommodate his girlfriend remind him too much of her. His office is much too cold and stress-inducing to be in alone during Winter. And the speakeasy is noisy and rowdy where his presence only instills fear in others or causes him to be whisked away in some conversation he doesn’t want to take part in.

So sitting in the only place he can seem to find comfort may be the only way he can truly accept the fact that in the ninth month of getting to know the woman with the big dreams and fake pearls, she is slowly becoming a stranger to him as he is to her.

A single kiss, a peck on the cheek is what she would leave him with before parting every time he dropped her off at the backdoor of the matinee. Now she has a private chauffeur who picks her and her agent up to bring them to wherever her schedule needs her to appear. And it tore out a piece of his heart when she told him that it was for the best especially when she started developing a strong hatred towards speakeasies. In fact, most of their more recent fights were about his job and how she can’t be around people who are associated with something so illegal and vile.

For two people who spent the majority of the year together, each recent meeting feels like an awkward exchange between two people whose lives are moving ahead with barely any space for the other to exist. Where one is preparing for the end of her musical run and the new musical production she’s been cast in, the other one is busy switching seasonal grocery stock and preparing his speakeasy for a VIP. She’s been on more fake dates in a week with her co-star in an industry-fueled scheme to generate more revenue before the musical run ends than she has in a month with her real boyfriend. Even the thrill of sneaking around with each other seemed to have worn off.

One is a woman who came from nothing and now has everything she ever wanted and wants more. The other is a man who came from something and is content with what he has.

Perhaps the thing he most wants is to understand her just a little more. He doesn’t understand the new words and phrases she integrated into her daily jargon and wonders about what or how she thinks of him now that she is on the way to having everything she ever wanted. It’s not like he wants more, no. He’s truly content with what he has. But he can’t help but wonder if love is just the beautiful landscape she spends some time driving through on her road to the glitz and glamour of stardom. If he is simply a backdrop, then why did she even want to pursue him in the first place? Why did he allow himself to fall in love? Why was she so adamant about picking up all of her phony loose pearls when she doesn’t care about buying real ones anymore?

Jihoon knows that life is as fragile as the soft waxy pear he holds in his hand – how a fruit could be so delicate to the touch, but farmers still swatch on a layer of protective wax to keep it from getting bruised and dehydrated with hopes that the fruit would journey safely into somebody’s grocery bag. One single and firm squeeze of the fruit in his palm could turn it into mush and have the juice drip down his fist in globs. Driving a single stomp through the barrel of neatly stacked pears would not save them from becoming absolutely demolished. Protective wax does nothing. Trying to protect himself from getting hurt like that thin coat of fruit wax does absolutely nothing as long as he is in love. And love may just as well be something as fragile as life.

Hand reaching for nothing and hitting the inside of an empty crate, Jihoon quickly retracts his hand while feeling a bit embarrassed for not noticing that he’s done stocking the pears. Having nothing to do causes a wave of loneliness, no, nostalgia to wash over him like the moonlight over the tumbling ocean waves. The fact that she brings up the fact that he owns a speakeasy every time they argue is frequent enough that the thought always lingers at the back of his mind. He can’t comprehend how she somehow started hating speakeasies almost overnight and hates the fact that he is the owner of one. She tells him that it would be better if he left the speakeasy to Seungcheol to manage the grocery store full-time. Looking at everything around him from the walls of products to the shiny wooden floors to the long flowerbeds placed against the walls of windows, he doesn’t know if he could ever give up the speakeasy to work at a place he loves so dearly. Maybe one day in the future when the Prohibition gets lifted, he would turn the speakeasy into something else.

Right now, he is not willing to give up something that he loves. The Diamond Glass is his home, and his employees are his family members. Giving up something as precious as his speakeasy is not something that he would even consider putting on his bargaining table even if it means losing the love of his life. Unwillingness to give up on something he loves for someone whom he loves results in him thinking about the version of his love in the darkness of the grocery store. The version of her with the flimsy dress, the version of her as a fling, the version of her he was afraid to love, the version of her as his love, the version of her he is growing apart from – he thinks about them all. Imagining an alternate universe where she is as unchanging as he is, a version where they can wake up in bed together only to laze around till four in the afternoon – it might be a selfish concept, he thinks. Previously uninhabited space in his brain, now filled with her to the brim, he’s not strong enough for it to spill over until it empties.

A flood of light washes into the grocery store at an angle when the employee door behind the counter opens. Choi Seungcheol stands at its opening with an unsmiling look on his face. Jihoon looks back at the older man, pausing before he sighs and wipes his hands on his pants.

“They’re in your office,” Seungcheol tells his boss.

“Who the hell let them in here?” Jihoon sighs while standing up, stretching his back before heading towards where his employee stands. It doesn’t take many contexts to fully understand what Seungcheol meant when he used the pronoun. Even more so, Jihoon immediately deduced the topic of the incoming conversation and the approximate amount of time the less-than-amicable conversation would take.

“I dunno,” the older man shrugs. “It’s not like we can turn them away. We do need business with them.”

nine - winter

Bursting through the office door and swinging the door open with so much force that the door ricochets off the wooden doorstop and wobbles while being supported by its hinges, she stomps with a fury unmatched by no other. In her wake are a scorching fire and the apologetic part-time bouncer who tried his best to stop her without ever laying a hand on her.

“I-I’m sorry. I tried,” the bouncer with the circular glasses tries to explain himself to his boss. “I-I told her that today’s not a good day, and that you’re-”

“I’m going to make you develop a complex,” the boss seethes through his teeth without moving his mouth to attempt a straight and dignified-looking expression in her presence. Capping his solid gold Sheaffer pen from the old gift set, dropping the expensive item on his stack of papers, and leaning back in his office chair with an annoyed expression on his face is more than enough to send bouncer out the door, scrambling and slamming the door shut behind him.

Jihoon doesn’t respond to his girlfriend, though he makes sure to look at her, studying her smudged stage makeup and the new expensive decoration that hangs from her neck. Silence between the couple becomes a waiting game, a game that anticipates the drop of a guillotine strong enough to cut the tension developed. Pulling the lever, she slices through and continues the journey she embarked on since her last show.

“Lee Jihoon,” his name cracks like a lightning strike – powerful yet lonely – emitted from her atmosphere. “How could you?”

Outside the guarded office door, the VIP speakeasy crowd roars in laughter and cheers. Glasses clink and specially ordered wooden chairs scrape against the sticky floors while speakeasy singers entertain their audience for the night. If Lee Jihoon is the owner and boss of this establishment, then the middle-aged woman who sits at the circular mini table right in front of the stage is the king.

This middle-aged woman with a kind face whose deep smile lines appear when she smiles at others in her acknowledgment is the sole supplier of the Diamond Glass’s alcohol. One misstep, one thought of collusion against her, one simple miscalculation on proposals can erase the Diamond Glass from existence including its workers, leaving the local police with a cold case unsolved for years because they would have nothing, to begin with. Hoping to never upset the king before the Prohibition ends, Lee Jihoon will do anything to maintain his healthy and trustworthy relationship with her and her cohort.

Right now, with her in his office, there is so much more than just simply trying to be business partners with the speakeasy’s current private clients. Because of this, agitation is what makes his leg shake. Fear is what causes him to snap at his girlfriend. Ultimately, this sparks a negative chain reaction foreseeable by anybody since the beginning of Autumn.

Get out are the only two words he can manage to snap at her. His right pointer finger pointed at his office door and his right arm trembles in its extension. Himself, the man sitting in his office chair, feels nothing but anger and fear from seeing his girlfriend in a place in which she should not be seen – a place she upbraided and proclaimed to be untenable in its legality.

“How could you?” she asks again in an accusing tone, her hands forming into tight balls of fists so that her knuckles visibly pale. “You liar. You promised you would be there for my last show. Why weren’t you there? You have so many employees working for you, and you’re not even out there. You’re just sitting in your office doing something you can do another time. Everybody’s partners were there for them at the afterparty yet I rushed here.”

Jihoon sits up from his seat, folding his hands on his desk. He takes a good look at the musical actress in front of him – prim and proper looking, her hair styled in neat curls, and the elegant and flowy black Lanvin Robe de Style which he finds to indicate she took time to change out of her costume into something non-inconspicuous. Paris’s House of Creed’s Angélique Encens set to be released in the early 1930s floats around her like a thin veil of mist. The sensual powdery-floral cut by the salty ambergris beautifully blended with vanilla and tuberose was said to be a pre-release gift from the founder of the perfume house. He thinks about the time when she accidentally dropped the perfume bottle she bought back in ’17 on her wooden floors. She thought nothing of the accident – no indication of dejection while picking up the broken pieces of glass and causally mentioned the perfume incident in an interview. The next day, a fresh bottle and a bouquet of roses were gifted to her from the perfumery. He’s not sure if the new bottle ever made it out of her closet. He’s not the type to compare himself to others – no, his confidence and self-assurance are too high for that – but he can’t help but wonder whether or not he can say her name the way he used to.

When you love someone, a name isn’t formed from the mouth but from the heart. The image of her in his head, once formed and sculpted from his skinny love, still exists in his hippocampus. Happiness when he sees her, the rush of dopamine when he feels her fall asleep again him after a long day, never originated from the limbic cortex. Fully believing it, even now at this moment despite the circumstances, he believes it was passed to him by her. Where her name is formed from his heart, she is his entire heart. And it hurts him to even consider the fact that she he holds close to his heart may just as well walk away with a piece of him that would never be returned.

It is the last time he says her name from his heart. He tells her to leave, that it’s not safe. He doesn’t want his bodyguards to ever lay a hand on her. It’s for the best, he tells her. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. He’s afraid of the fact that literal gangsters in the building would scare her, and he’s not about to compromise her integrity. For her sake, he feels that keeping the fact to himself, letting her walk over him if she has to, may keep her safe.

“But there’s no tomorrow,” she almost wails, stomping her feet even. She’s frustrated that she had to attend the party celebrating the end of the season alone, frustrated over his stolid attitude over everything. She just wishes he could’ve been there with her experiencing one of the most important moments of her life.

Shooting out of his chair, sending it backward from the force with which he pulls himself up, he slams his hands on his desk. “Leave,” he yells at her.

“Choose,” she lays down her ultimatum for him. “Me or the speakeasy.”

“Diamond Glass,” he chooses without hesitation. Albeit, the expression he notices form on her face causes him to feel restive in his response. “Me or your fake boyfriend?”

“Fake boyfriend?” She feels her skin prick with coldness. “Do you have to bring him up every time we get into an argument?”

“What?” The tone of his voice is anything but amicable. “So you’re only here to argue with me for a little bit before you storm off to your little boy toy. What happened to compromise? What happened to me being the most important person in your life?”

“Compromise?” She seethes. “I literally told you that my new agent sprung it upon me when I met him.”

“The easiest phrase you can say as an actress is ‘no comment.’ Or are you so far up your ass and your glitz and glamour that all you can do is be hotsy-totsy with all the men around you? Do you even think about me? Or do I only appear in your mind when you need me?”

“So what about me living the life I always wanted? So what if I have to fake date rich men while keeping this persona they built for me? Men, any men, regular men, rich men, they can all get in and out of relationships and marriages whenever they please and they wouldn’t be shamed for it. They can marry whenever and whoever they please and not be looked down upon. This includes you, Jihoon,” her voice dips when she says his name. There is a crack in her voice that Jihoon absolutely hates hearing because it means anything but her happiness. “All they want women to do is marry and have kids. But I get to escape that expectation because of my job. The leading lady was fired because she auditioned for another job. So what if the world found out that the understudy had a boyfriend? I would be a joke. I would be forced out of the industry, blacklisted for not taking my job seriously.”

“Why do you care so much about what other people think?” He almost wants to shout at her, to hurl his chair against the wall. “Given my connections, you would never be forced out of the industry.”

“You don’t get it do you?” Her knees buckle. “I never wanted to rely on you.”

“Then what did you want me for?” He can’t contain himself anymore. He shouts at her in frustration. “A good fuck? A summer fling? Someone to fix because your life was so boring before me?”

“I just wanted you by my side,” she shouts back.

“And I was always by your side.” He’s so frustrated that tears well up in the inner corners of his eyes. “I was always by your side even when I wasn’t in love with you. I was by your side this whole time even if you never felt it. I was by your side even when I didn’t understand. When I didn’t understand why you loved me. When I didn’t understand the words that came out of your mouth. When I didn’t understand why you don’t even look at me the way you used to.”

“And what was the way I used to-” She cuts herself off, stopping so she can point her head to the ceiling so that he doesn’t have to look at her sob. “Fuck.” The realization slaps her in the face.

“Shit,” Jihoon has no choice but to cuss. His face stabs with pain, and his arms feel numb. But heaping globs of tears stream down his face, and he breaks down on his spot – choked sobs and trembling shoulders, unable to look her in the eye. He also realizes the same thing – she doesn’t love him anymore.

Lee Jihoon doesn’t remember how he ended up in the middle of the VIP party’s crowd, drunk off of giggle water. Tonight, he can’t even bring himself to flirt with the woman who he plants himself behind, bringing her ass to his dick while she grinds on him on the dance floor. Everything feels so foreign to him – letting go, straying from his usual Manhattan, people prying him off of someone new, crying, being single, sobbing, crashing on someone’s couch, blacking out. He doesn’t know who he is or where he is. The only thing he remembers is seeing a piece of his heart leave when she left him in his office and the realization that they are no more.

Not even a sense of familiarity can rush over his inebriated self when he feels a heavy blanket cover his shivering body. Seungcheol, no; his sister, no; Seokmin…the king? He can’t quite differentiate whose couch it is that he is laying on or who it is who is consoling him.

“We can never go back to who we were before love,” the unidentified voice reassures him. “After love, we are just as different. But it takes time to create a better us than who we were when we were in love. After all, time and feelings change. You have loved yourself before, Jihoon. And you will love yourself again.”  

“Feel broken,” he manages to slur through his tears. He hasn’t stopped crying since being dragged out of the speakeasy “Gone.”

“But it doesn’t mean you can’t find yourself in the future.”

epilogue - spring '39

Lee Jihoon carries a toddler in his arm, someone whose eyes curl the same way he does when he smiles. He hands him an apple, a gorgeous waxy Red Delicious that is arguably too big for the toddler’s hands.

“Hold tight,” Jihoon tells the child. “Or it would fall and roll away. Then we can’t sell the apple.”

But the fruit immediately falls from the toddler’s hands, bouncing and rolling towards the other side of the newly renovated grocery store.

After all these years, the mom-and-pop grocery store manned by the Diamond Glass’s workers and families still stands proudly while facing the busy street before it. And the Diamond Glass, converted into a bar, has since made a name for itself after the Prohibition. The establishment with its criminal origins, instead of deterring people away, only attracts and appeals to the public.

The bell above the front door clanks when a new customer steps inside. And the quick burst of air caused by the act of opening the door drowns out what the new customer says to their driver.

In the meantime, Jihoon sighs and looks at the child in his arms – the kid whose lips quiver from making a mistake. He decides to let him go and squats to tell him that his mom would send him into exile if he ever made him cry. “Even worse,” he whispers to the child, “Seokmin would cry if he ever saw you cry. And you know how much your dad cries. But go get Uncle Seungcheol for me. We need more people in the front.”

A few minutes after the boss feels a gentle tap on his right shoulder. But he chooses to ignore them and instead calls for Seungcheol to help with the customer. He feels the tap again, this time with a little more pressure. So he turns his head from his stack of apples on the ground, looking up at the customer standing behind him.

She holds the dusty and bruised apple in her outstretched hand. And he notices the freshly coated swatch of lacquer that decorates her nails. His eyes trace up her gams to her tweed Chanel skirt and the matching blazer which sculpts her shoulders. In contrast to her expensive designer wear is the scuffed and faded pearl necklace which sits proudly around her neck – a contrasting centerpiece to her outfit. And he can tell that they’re fake, just like the ones that scattered and clacked against his once illegally sticky speakeasy floors.

Seungcheol’s head pops from the doorframe to the employee door behind the grocery store counter. “Who is it?” he asks his boss.

Jihoon looks at her in her eyes, the same pair of twinkling eyes he could never forget, and answers his question, “An old friend.”

Copyright © 2023 Himbocoups. All rights reserved.

missing him: texts with hyunjin.•*☆

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₊˚⊹｡ 5:55 p.m. | oikawa tooru

wc: 709 summary: oikawa comes home missing a step in the ‘oikawa family routine’.  contains: f!reader, papa!oikawa, baby girl oikawa, use of term ‘baby’, baby/child/kid, being parents, food descriptions, oikawa coming home to his lil family of three!, oikawa aged up to pro. a/n: thought of this lil blurb today and had to get it down !! i love papa oikawa my heart is bursting !! for u ari @ufo-ikawa !! look at our silly man!!

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

Oikawa comes home in the late afternoon.

He takes his shoes off by the genkan, and keeps a hop in his step despite a full day of volleyball; being a setter might be what he does best, but bursting into his house, shouting his usual 'baby, i'm home!' might just be what he loves the most.

And he's about to do it, as he steps into the hallway, gym bag on his shoulder and mouth open pre-yell, but he stops, because—

—there peering up at him is his little girl, greeting him with an index finger to her lips as if to say: 'shhh, papa, be quiet ...'.

When he looks further behind her, to the couch, he sees you, fast asleep with your right arm folded to cushion your head, and the other hanging over the edge.

"Mama sleep," she whispers, almost giggling, and he thinks the saying could never be more true; her laugh is infectious (or maybe just to her papa)—he'd never be immune.

Oikawa's eyes widen and he mouths an 'oh' as he lets down his gym bag quietly. He crouches low, coming eye-to-eye with his mini-me, the splitting image of him except for her smile—which is yours, undoubtedly.

He stretches his arms out, welcoming her in, and she rushes to him, giggling, her brown curls bouncing with each step closer to him.

This is the Oikawa family routine: when papa arrives home, he gets 3 kisses, one on each cheek and the last one on his nose. Then, he lifts his little girl up, supports her with one arm while he kisses you and pulls you close.

This time, the routine isn't quite as complete but he still has his little girl on his arm, perched by his hip kissing his cheek. Her little hands grab on to his face to place the final kiss to his nose and he scrunches it, joking with her, a remix of his favorite tune as she giggles some more.

"Did my baby sleep too?" he whispers, feet light as he makes his way to the kitchen, past you.

His little girl nods, "Small only." and he thinks it's so cute, that she's the smartest girl in the world for knowing what to say—even though he knows 'small' isn't exactly the right word to describe it.

He lets her down on the kitchen counter before opening the fridge to check what's available: chicken and a few vegetables. Then, he gathers what he needs and places them on the table.

"Should we make dinner for mama?" he asks, a glint in his eyes that can only mean one thing. 

His little girl perks up, brown eyes widening and gleaming just the same, a perfect reflection of his as she nods and says, "Egg!"

He laughs, volume restrained, but he kisses her forehead and replies, "Okay, egg for mama it is."

By the end of it, there's an empty carton (or two) of eggs he's used (failed attempts to make Omurice until its decent, but still half as good as what you always do). His little girl sprinkles the last few bits of green onion before you round the corner just in time, eyes slightly puffed and his love right there, laced in your sleepy smile.

"Mama!" his (your) little girl shouts, making grabby hands at her papa to let her down.

You shake your head and laugh, smiling just like your little girl as you drag your feet nearer. The food is resting on the counter as Oikawa picks her up, keeping her perched on his hip as he walks towards you.

It’s a warm, fuzzy feeling sitting in his stomach that's been there for a while, even before you two became three, that's reminding him of how good his life is, coming home to you, sleep lines and all running across your cheek.

When you meet in the middle of your kitchen, you don't forget the Oikawa family routine, tiptoeing up to kiss him as he pulls you closer, your little girl squished in-between.

"I'm home, baby." he whispers, nose-to-nose, just as you let his lips go, and you laugh, his favorite tune, the original, before your baby girl made it her own.

"Welcome home."

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