An Interesting Demonstration Of How The Human Brain Works.

wilted | kim mingyu

SYNOPSIS. in which you've contracted hanahaki despite being in a relationship, and it makes you question everything. PAIRING. kim mingyu x gn!reader (ft. jeonghan) GENRE. angst, hanahaki au WARNINGS. descriptions of illness (hanahaki disease), mentions of coughing and blood, mention of death, cursing, terms of endearment, miscommunication or honestly lack of communication, depictions of an argument, gyu is a little bit of an ass in this and i'm very sorry about that but it's for the plot, description of hospitals and surgery, unrequited love WORD COUNT. 6108

hanahaki disease ( 花吐き病 ) 𑁋 a disease in which the infected coughs up flowers due to unrequited love.

notes: how to procrastinate the main fic ur working on for this man? writing another fic w more angst (what is with me with illness aus??) because im simply hating everything im writing for tlit21c rn djfsldkf sorry everyone. this entire story was inspired from this post which i hoped i was able to stick to :)

A shift has never been this relaxing before.

Normally, you're used to the hectic hustle of weary students aiming to acquire their morning coffees before running to class and impatient corporate workers racing against the clock in the bustling jungle of the city. But today, the scene was drastically different.

The clear blue skies outside were barren of any existence of clouds, the sun rays pouring in through the café windows like warm honey and casting ornate patterns of light and shadow on the rustic wooden tables that filled the vast space. In the midst of this fresh and sunny afternoon, you find yourself standing idly behind the counter, fingers rhythmically tapping on your phone as you shoot a text message to your boyfriend.

[ 04:39pm | y/n ] gyu ! should i bring home something for us to eat tonight? been craving that gimbap from a while ago 💕

The message sends before your attention would be halted by the chime of the doors opening.

You've worked as a barista in this café for the past year while searching (or struggling, to be honest) to get a job in the field you sought for. It's easy to give yourself credit when it comes to plastering on the brightest smile on your face every time the bell above the doors would ring. You can be having the worst day of your life, yet you've mastered the skill of hiding your worries beneath that obnoxious apron and sage green logo-emblazoned hat sat on your head.

It's a bit different this time when the customer who walks in is someone you're beginning to consider a regular at your café.

"Ah, Mr. Yoon," You greet him with a shake of your head and a wide grin. "The usual today, I'm presuming?"

"That is, if you can stop putting down 'Mr. Yoon' on my cup than my first name," he responds teasingly, and it makes you lightly chuckle as you lower your gaze to start tapping in his order on the screen.

Mr. Yoon, as he preferred to be called initially as a running gag, had become a latest fixture in the café, like a light-hearted charm that captures the attention of both you and your co-workers. It's rare to see people like him walk in. His visits were characterised not just by his liking for the café's signature caramel macchiato, but also by the easy banter and warm camaraderie he shared each time he visited that makes your busy shifts a little more bearable.

"Okay, Jeonghan," You reply playfully, reading out his order even though you know it's correct. "One caramel macchiato with a pinch of wit, coming right up."

He lets out a chuckle as he hands you his card with a wink. "You're the best, you know that?"

You flash him one last smile before facing your back towards him to prepare his order. "Flattery will get you anywhere, Mr. Yoon."

You take your time in creating his order, looking up briefly to notice he had sat himself down at one of the tables in the corner of the café. You carefully pour the steamed milk over the espresso and caramel, and when you finish, you place the perfectly crafted caramel macchiato on a tray and carry it over to Jeonghan's table.

"Here you go, Mr. Yoon," You say with a smile, bringing the tray down and placing the cup in front of him. "One caramel macchiato, just the way you like it."

Jeonghan takes a moment to properly observe it, as if examining the crevices of each layer in the cup, before leaning back in chis hair and crossing his arms together. He lets out a relaxing sigh.

"Congratulations, you've earned yourself a perfect score this time." He turns the cup just slightly to show off that you've indeed put the order down under his first name.

You roll your eyes. "Well, I'm glad to have gotten it right."

"It's about time, don't you think?" Jeonghan queries, before taking a sip of the drink, eliciting a satisfied hum. "Mmh, but it was definitely worth the wait. Thank you, Y/N."

You grab the empty tray back in your hands. "If you need me, you know where to find me."

Jeonghan just shoots you one last playful smirk in your direction before you turn away to head back around the counter, pushing yourself through your next set of customers.

However, as time continues to pass so torturously slow, an unusual sensation begins to creep into the core of your chest.

It's like a subtle tickle, a slight tightness to your trachea that you merely dismiss just as fatigue from the dry air as you strap the lid on the order of a cup you're preparing. You take a moment to rub your chest absently, hoping the discomfort will pass, but it lingers.

Yet once you set the order down on the customer's table and dismiss yourself back behind the counter, you let out a small, involuntary cough into the palm of your hand. It's nothing, you tell yourself. You're probably just coming down with a minor cold.

But then, you see it𑁋a very small delicate, pale pink petal resting on your hand where you had covered your mouth, and that's when you feel your heart drop down to your feet.

This can't be happening, You think frantically. Not now. Not like this. You glance around nervously, hoping no one else was watching or waiting for you at the front. The café is still bustling with customers, and the regular chatter continues, completely oblivious to your growing panic.

As you stare at the petal, it begins to crumble, disintegrating into tiny flecks that drift away like dust in the wind down to the floor below. The feeling in your chest, however, remains, and it intensifies. It's like a weight, an ache that refuses to dissipate, and sets the adrenaline to your limbs as you dash towards the employee's only restroom, locking the door behind you.

You place your hands on either side of the sink, the coughs leaving your mouth now bouncing off the walls of the restroom. The coughs wrack your body. Each one doesn't bloom out a petal, but as you release one last cough, you watch as another petal slowly floats down in the sink below your gaze.

Then you look at your reflection in the mirror, and it reveals nothing out of the ordinary. No flowers sprouting from your mouth or bloodstained petals; it was purely only just... fresh petals.

Your mind runs circles. It physically hurts to even think, like twist and turns on an abandoned dirt road. If what you're suffering from is really what you think it is, then your thoughts dash back to him. To Mingyu, whom you've been with for the past two years, and the thought of him makes your heart race. Thinking about him helps just slightly, but not entirely, yet... what is causing this?

You're still in love with Mingyu𑁋you know you are.

You splash cold water on your face, trying to collect your thoughts and the pain wracking your chest. This can't be happening. It's impossible that you'd suddenly develop Hanahaki for someone else.

You quickly take out your phone from your back pocket, punching in your passcode and sliding to your text messages. Your fingers instinctively land on Mingyu's text thread, punching in words in a panic for some help. But when your eyes trail to the last message you sent to him, you notice that it was simply left on... seen.

That's when another cough racks your body, and you can't help but watch in horror as more petals, delicate and pink, fall into the sink, before wilting and crumbling down the drain. It felt like they were mocking you in shame.

Hanahaki disease. An illness described to be acquired from unrequited love.

The doctor explained the options to you: surgery to remove the flowers with the risk of losing your feelings for the person you love, medication to suppress the symptoms with the risk of some side effects, or the most common method𑁋reciprocated love. If the person you love returns your feelings, the disease will fade away on its own. However, if those feelings remain unrequited, the flowers will continue to grow, ultimately suffocating you.

And you would die.

Because that's exactly the kind of news you wanted to torment your life with. It's like a fucking parasite, a cruel insidious joke taking root in your chest. A fucking plant is growing in your fucking chest. Hanahaki disease was rare, but it had chosen you, and it had chosen to do so at the most inconvenient time.

You've heard the stories of the disease from the countless articles you searched on your phone the moment you got back into your car. You've also heard these stories growing up like an urban legend, even in its rarity, at some point becoming deathly afraid of it when you were younger, yet your own family had reassured you that no other person even down to your ancestors had ever been affected with the disease.

You're the first person. How fucking lucky are you.

You were lucky enough to catch it in its early stages, explaining to the doctor that you had never once had any other signs show other than today.

"It doesn't mean you have a lot of time to pick a treatment option," the doctor had said to you as you blankly listened. "I recommend getting it treated as soon as possible, no matter how early it may be, because waiting it out could be detrimental to your state. I'm going to prescribe you some medication to help reduce your symptoms. You can pick up at the pharmacy after this."

But you just... don't understand. None of this has been making sense in your head; it's just been buzzing painfully with confusion, and if anything, making you feel even worser than the actual disease plaguing your body itself. You've always been faithful to Mingyu; you've never harboured romantic feelings for anyone else other than him. You tell him that you love him, and he tells you that he loves you too.

Yet here you are, coughing up petals that seem to defy logic and the rules of this damn disease, trying to think of someone, anyone, who may have slipped past a crack in your heart somewhere.

But it all draws a blank, yet it's the only thing in mind that can be causing all this.

The doctor's words echo in your mind. Surgery came with the risk of losing your feelings for Mingyu, something that you couldn't bear to imagine. Medication can help suppress the symptoms temporarily, but it wouldn't cure the underlying cause. That left you with the most daunting option𑁋reciprocated love.

But how could you possibly explain this to Mingyu? How could you tell him that you were coughing up petals because of some inexplicable turmoil in your heart that had nothing to do with him?

You can't do this. Not right now. God, you need sleep.

"Gyu?" You call out, your voice echoing within the quietness of your shared apartment.

Stepping into your apartment, you're initially met with silence, but it wasn't until you hear a door shut that awakens your senses, and you see Mingyu stepping out of your shared bedroom. For a few moments, you let your eyes trail over him, seemingly dressed up like he was going to an outing, and you feel your lips twitch unconsciously.

"Babe?" You call out again, a bit louder this time, and it catches Mingyu's attention.

A faint smile crosses his face as he makes his way toward you, and for a second you can feel something catch in your throat once you can feel his warmth touch your skin.

"Hey," he greets you calmly, pushing away a strand of hair behind your ear. "How was work?"

"It was..." Tell him, Your mind urges. Tell him right now. "...fine. Nothing much today."

"That's good," he responds, locking the watch on his wrist in place.

"Are you going somewhere?" You ask him quickly, shifting your eyes up and down and over his form.

Mingyu's expression changes slightly, becoming almost tense, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes before it changes back to that lazy smile he had on before. You swear that if you weren't so hyperfocused with every fibre of your being pulling you back, you wouldn't have noticed.

"Just some dinner with the guys. Haven't seen them in a while," he responds coolly, brushing past you for a moment to grab the keys hanging next to the door. "Do you want me to bring you something back?"

You watch Mingyu's every move, the unease and some discomfort from the disease in your chest growing by the unbearable minute, even with the increasing tension in the room that's absolutely suffocating you at the same time. This isn't the time to let your guard down, but you're torn between the fear of losing him and the need to protect him from this awful reality.

But... he's going out? And he didn't tell you? Nor even bother responding to the text you sent him earlier? He was probably just busy, You think. Like he always is.

"No, it's alright." You take a chance and step up to him, planting a brief kiss to his cheek. You feel a little bit better doing that. "I'll just heat up something from the fridge. Have a good time with your friends, okay? I love you."

Mingyu smiles softly at your gesture, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. And you swear you notice a distant look in his gaze, or maybe you were just imagining things and it's just another symptom of this stupid disease and your fervent overthinking. The dimness of your apartment didn't help either𑁋his eyes just looked drained of any colour. Maybe he was just tired.

"Thanks, Y/N." He offers one last smile, but there's something lacking in his tone that you can't quite place, and it's anything but comforting you at the moment. "Love you too."

Your heart quickens just a bit at that, the corners of your lips edging up just slightly as you watch him. He grabs his jacket and heads for the door, and you're left behind in nothing but the silence of your place.

And all at once, you feel all the discomfort you were trying to hide finally spill out from your lips, coughs leaving your mouth like a downpour, each one a bit more painful than the last. You double over with one of your arms wrapped around you and the other clutching at your chest as if trying to physically grasp the pain and pull it out of you.

"Shit, dammit," You murmur weakly, bringing your hand down from your mouth to see a few petals fluttering to the floor, feeling the tears brimming at the corner of your eyes.

You bring yourself back up, opening up your bag and taking out the medication you picked up from the pharmacy earlier. Trailing down to the bathroom, the medication bottle rattles loudly in your shaky hand as you fumble to open the cap. The pills inside are small and white, and the label on the bottle provides instructions for dosage. With shaking fingers, you fish out one pill and place it on your palm.

Then you take a deep breath, attempting to steady your nerves, and then swallow it down with a gulp of water from the bathroom sink.

You hope that it will provide some relief, even if it's just temporary.

You don't know what time Mingyu comes home that night. You heard him come in, but don't have the energy to properly acknowledge him. So you stay low to your sheets, feeling some residual discomfort crawl back into your throat when you hear him open the bedroom door.

You wish he can hold you𑁋it's all you want right now. His comfort, his large arms wrapping around you like how he used to do so before, how he would kiss the top of your head and your shoulder before holding you close in his embrace, the way it felt so right and safe being in his hold because you know it's enough to make all your worries disappear in an instant.

But he doesn't, only sliding into the empty space next to you, and you're afraid that if he does it just might make you feel even worse. You barely feel his warmth on you. Yet you miss him; you miss everything about him. And you still love him. You always have.

You always will.

...right?

It's not right to tell him right now.

You certainly wouldn't like it if someone was staring at you, but you can't help it, not when Mingyu is the only other thing in the room you could possibly look at.

It's been more than a week since you found out you have Hanahaki. Each day you would wake up in an absolute coughing fit, the petals coming in more frequent amounts than before. The medication has helped to lessen the symptoms, yet the side effects are taking a toll on your body. You're constantly fatigued, and your appetite has declined just slightly. You feel like a prisoner in your own body, all because something beautiful and deadly is growing within you.

Mingyu still doesn't know about it. And deep down, you can't shake the feeling that something is... different.

He used to be so attentive with you. Now, he often seems preoccupied, lost in his own thoughts. He no longer surprises you with sweet gestures or random acts of affection, and the warm, lingering kisses that he would leave to your lips have turned into quick pecks on the cheek, or simply, just nothing at all. You hardly wake up with him right next to you because of his work, and the shared laughter and late night conversations have nearly ceased to exist.

You remember the days when Mingyu used to look at you with such warmth, love, and adoration, but the spark that used to light up his eyes has dimmed. You barely feel it anymore. His replies to your questions asking about his day are kept brief. You would excuse it as him simply being exhausted, but there's a persistent feeling in your chest, and it's not just from your illness.

"Gyu?" You call out for him meekly from the kitchen, watching as he doesn't peel his eyes away from his laptop screen, only lifting a brow up slightly. "Are you busy later?"

"Yeah, I am. I got invited to a company dinner later this evening."

There's a visible downturn to your lips at his words, but he doesn't see it𑁋doesn't bother to see it, anyway.

"Oh." You feel it crawling up your throat again. "Okay. How about tomorrow?"

Mingyu finally looks away from his laptop, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he sighs. "Tomorrow's not good either. I have a meeting with a client, and it might go late."

"Maybe the day after tomorrow?" You suggest, some desperation creeping into your voice.

Mingyu seems to hesitate for a moment, and you hold your breath, hoping for a glimmer of hope, something. But then he shakes his head. "I can't promise anything, Y/N. I'm sorry. I'll be sure to make up to you, okay?"

That's what you always say.

Will you ever make time for me again someday?

You swallow hard, feeling a lump in your throat. The realisation stings, more painful than the illness taking form in your lungs.

"Okay," You mumble, your voice barely above a whisper. "I understand. It's okay. I love you."

A brief, long, pause. "Love you too."

But it's okay, because you still love me.

Then you find yourself swiftly retreating into your bathroom, heart heavy as you grab a tissue and let out a few coughs into the tissue. More petals fall from your mouth, before you crumple the tissue and toss it into the bin next to the sink, then splash some water on your face to hide the tears that threaten to escape.

You don't know what to do.

You can't even bother to see how much pills you have left because you feel like you're taking ten of them every damn day. You have yet to tell a soul, and you know that you should before it's too late, but who you can turn to? You have no one𑁋you can't even figure out yourself why this is even happening to you without feeling like you're going absolutely manic.

It's been hard trying to hide the fallen petals away from Mingyu, or away from anyone, in fact, and you find yourself coughing up more petals even when you're just in the same room as him. You always have to discreetly spit them into a tissue or rush to the bathroom to dispose of them, hoping he doesn't notice.

You hardly even see Mingyu anymore. It's either he's always called into work, has something important to do with the guys, or you feel it snaking up your throat painful enough for you to not make a move. The words stick in your throat, and the fear of losing him freezes you up. You can't help but blame yourself for being so distant around him.

If you've really fallen out of love out of him, if you did supposedly fall for someone else, wouldn't that mean that... you're leading him on? It's a thought at the back of your mind, but the guilt gnaws at you day by day like the ever-growing branches piercing through your lungs.

It's frustrating. All of this frustrating, and it's obviously spilled into your work performance as well. You can hardly perfect orders without making mistakes, and your once bright smile has faded into a forced, weary expression. Your manager and co-workers have given you concerned looks, but you've brushed them off, simply claiming it as stress or lack of sleep.

But it doesn't hit hard until today, because it happens so fast𑁋the metal tray you're holding loudly suddenly crashing down to the floor. One moment you can't breathe, and the next you're letting out hacking coughs into your hands, knees dropped to the floor with the spilled coffee staining your pants and shoes.

The café erupts into chaos as some customers quickly rush to your side, a hand still covering your face. You can hardly respond to anyone from the intense heaviness to your chest and dry pain to your throat.

You feel the petals tickling the skin of your hand, quickly crumpling them up in a fist and stuffing them inside the pocket of your apron.

"Y/N, are you okay?" a familiar voice asks worriedly, Jeonghan's voice, who you served earlier, and you catch a glimpse of him kneeling down beside you.

You can't look at him. Tears well up in your eyes, but you blink them back, doing your best to keep whatever you had left of your composure. You force a weak smile as you bring your hand down to the side.

"Yeah," You croak out, voice raspy and barely audible. "I'm fine, just a little dizzy."

Jeonghan doesn't seem convinced, his eyes trailing over you carefully. You only look past him and keep your gaze low, but it wasn't until you catch sight of a fallen petal resting by your shoes.

And he also sees it as well. Jeonghan's gaze flickers downward, his eyes narrowing as he spots the pale pink petal, and something in his expression changes.

Then he looks back up at you, giving a faint smile, yet serious look.

"Let me take you to the doctor," he urges.

"What? Jeonghan, I can't𑁋"

"I'm taking them to the doctor," he tells one of your co-workers passing by with a broom to clean up the mess you brought to the floor, completely cutting off your words.

You can hardly believe your eyes and ears right now. Your co-worker only nods and quickly takes over your duties while Jeonghan helps you to your feet. Despite your protests, he guides you outside the café, keeping a loose grip on your arm before you get yourself to separate from him in a brief panic.

"Jeonghan, you can't just𑁋just take me out of work like this."

He shoots you a bewildered look. "You're sick, Y/N. It's obvious."

"I know, and I'm fine. It's just stress and bad sleep. Please, just take me back to the café𑁋"

"You have Hanahaki," he says flatly and outright. "I've seen you cough them up. You don't have to hide it from me."

Jeonghan's words hang in the air like an anchor sinking in the ocean. You freeze, your heart pounding in your chest, and your mind races to find some way to deny it, to deflect the truth. But deep down, you know he's right.

Jeonghan, however, doesn't press you for an explanation. Instead, he takes you by the wrist gently and drags you to his car parked nearby.

"Jeonghan𑁋"

"I've had it, Y/N. I've had Hanahaki before," he confesses, a solemn look to his face as his words sink inside you.

You're quiet for a few moments as his words hang suspended in the air, a heavy silence between you two. Hearing that kind of news is from him is oddly... both surprising and comforting, knowing how how rare the illness is. But maybe just maybe, he might understand what you're going through, even if you can't seem to understand yourself.

Once you finally slide into the passenger seat of his car, you manage to get your voice back.

"You've... had it? I mean, just... what happened... how did you get rid of it?"

Once the car engine roars to life, Jeonghan just releases a small chuckle.

"It's the usual story: you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It was terrifying, you know, seeing bits of your feelings turn into something physical like that. I waited too long, so I ended up getting the surgery." There's a shadow of some passing tree branches that cast on his face for a moment. "They never told me the surgery would also mean that my feelings would completely disappear, but it was the only way to save my life."

His face remains calm as he continues to drive, keeping his eyes on the road while your own thoughts were juggling together like a tangled mess of strings.

For a moment, Mingyu's face flashes in your mind, and you wish he were here with you. But you're torn. You don't want to burden him with this.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," You finally say, keeping your voice low. It was all you can say at the moment.

Once the car stops at a red light, he turns to you with a small, sad smile. "Don't be. It was a long time ago, and it taught me a lot of lessons, you could say. I survived, and you will too."

Another round of silence passes through the car, but this one feels less heavy, more contemplative. You watch the passing scenery outside the window as your thoughts continue to whirl like a storm within your mind. Knowing that Jeonghan survived offers a glimmer of hope, but it also deepens your sense of isolation𑁋that you can't lean on Mingyu for support in the same way.

You don't want to lose your feelings for him. You've already built this start of a future with him, and you can't bear the thought of basically removing him from your life for no solid reason.

"I-I have a boyfriend, you know," You blurt out, interrupting the silence, hearing Jeonghan let out an acknowledging hum for you to go on. "We've been together for the past two years, and whenever the... coughing, petals, all this started happening, it confused me."

"The heart is a complicated place," Jeonghan assures you.

You faintly smile at that. "I still love him, I'm sure of that. I know I do. I've never had feelings for anyone else. I just... I can't figure out why this is happening, why I'm coughing up these stupid petals in the first place, and it's been eating me up inside. It hurts."

Jeonghan listens intently as you pour your heart out, his eyes fixed on the road ahead but his attention fully on you. When you finish speaking, he clears his throat.

"You haven't... told him yet, haven't you?" he asks softly, breaking the silence.

You shake your head. "No, I haven't. I-I've just been... scared that I've been pushing him away, leading him on and I don't know about it. What if... if my heart is just betraying me? And now, with this... I don't know what to do."

Jeonghan's lips purse together thoughtfully.

"I think... If you know you love someone, you do," he says. "But... what makes you certain that he loves you back in the same way?"

Jeonghan's question hits you like a ton of bricks. It's a question you've been dying to avoid for this entire time, a fear that's been lurking in the shadows of your heart and the deepest corners of your mind.

What if... Mingyu didn't love you back?

The thought startles a cough out of you and you hastily bring your hand to your mouth, suppressing it as much as you can, the fragile petals fluttering out and settling on your lap. Squinting your eyes just slightly, you notice how they appear more redder than the usual pink you were used to seeing. You clench your hand around them, knuckles white from the tension, and swallow hard. Jeonghan shoots a quick glance of worry in your direction.

"I... I don't know," You utter out shakily. And what if I don't want to know?

The rest of the car ride is relatively quiet with the occasional taps of Jeonghan's fingers on the steering wheel, but not uncomfortably so. You can sense the concern radiating off Jeonghan, but he doesn't push you to talk further.

"You need to talk to him, Y/N," is all he says after turning into the parking lot of the doctor's office.

Once you get out of his car, you turn back to Jeonghan and give him a light wave.

I know, You tell yourself in your head. I know I do.

You stare blankly at the dark red petal in your hand, its edges slightly crumpled from where it had been caught between your trembling fingers. You can hear the faint ticking of the clock on the wall itching at your skin, a constant reminder that time is passing, and you're running out of it.

Balling the petal in your hand, you stand up from where you sat on the bed and march out the bedroom. For a second, you felt like you weren't in control of your legs, yet you know you have to take advantage of the chance to muster up the courage to finally tell Mingyu everything.

Not just about the Hanahaki, but about... everything that has been suffocating you inside. It's all you've been thinking about for the past few weeks. When you step into the living room, you spot him sitting at your small dining set, focused on his work as ever with the laptop screen in front of him casting a glow to his face. He doesn't even look up when you announce your presence near him, and your heart clenches at that.

Taking a deep breath, you speak up, "Mingyu, we need to talk."

Mingyu doesn't look up, his focus still on his work, brows furrowing together. "Can it wait, Y/N? I'm in the middle of something important."

You hesitate for a moment, feeling something inside you wince at his words. "No, it can't wait. It's about us."

"Y/N, it's one in the morning right now𑁋"

"Do you even still love me anymore?" The question leaves your mouth all at once, and you swear it even freezes this exact moment that you are in.

The room falls into a suffocating silence. Mingyu finally tears his gaze away from the laptop, his eyes meeting yours. In that moment, you see a complex mix of emotions in his eyes: surprise, guilt, and something else you can't quite place.

"I..." he starts, voice shaky. "Y/N, you can't just𑁋"

"Just answer the fucking question, Kim Mingyu." You clench the petal in your hand, feeling its dry, sharp edges dig into your skin. Then you realise the harshness to your words, softening your eyes and lowering your voice. "Please."

The room seems to close in around you as you wait for Mingyu's response. His hesitation hangs in the air, and you see the way his shoulders slump and the way his face contorts as he struggles to find the right words to say to just a simple question.

"I... I don't know, Y/N."

His words stab your heart. It's getting hard to breathe, but you can't let yourself cough now. Not in this moment. The petal in your hand crumples into dust as you clench it tighter.

"What the hell do you mean, you don't know?" Your voice trembles as you ask, searching his eyes for any sign of reassurance. "You either love me or you don't, just tell me, for God's sake."

Your frustration is evident, tone catching him off-guard. Mingyu's gaze drops to the table, and he lets out a heavy sigh.

"...I'm sorry, Y/N. I-I'm so so sorry."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. This is what you've been afraid of, what you've been trying to avoid. But now that it's out in the open, it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted, even if it's crushing you at the same time.

And then, you feel it𑁋a sharp pain to your lungs that makes you gasp as if you've been stabbed by a searing blade. The room spins as you struggle to catch your breath, your hands trembling as you clutch your chest, letting out harrowing coughs after coughs. Mingyu jumps up from his seat, immediately racing to your side.

"Y/N?! Shit, Y/N, you're bleeding𑁋"

You can't respond, the pain in your chest and the taste of blood in your mouth overwhelming your senses. You hold onto him for support as another bout of coughing consumes you. This isn't how you wanted to reveal your condition to him, but there's no hiding it now.

You feel the way Mingyu scoops you into his arms, the blood from your mouth and the petals staining his shirt as he reaches for his phone to dial emergency services. His voice is helpless and frantic, and within seconds, minutes, maybe even whole hour, you hear the distant wail of approaching sirens.

The soft hum of machines echo through the air as you stir awake, eyes fluttering open and the blinding white lights above blurring your vision. The first sensation that you register was the overwhelming scent of disinfectant filling your nose, sharp and pungent. Then came the dull ache in your chest that makes your breath quietly hitch.

Blinking your eyes open, you realise you're in a hospital room, the pale morning light filtering through the curtains. The sight of white walls and strange medical equipment, an IV line running into your arm, makes your heart race anxiously. You try to take a deep breath, but then you feel that ache in your chest again, and it makes you groan.

Just then at that moment, a young looking nurse enters the room, her eyes widening when she catches sight of you awake and distressed.

"Easy now," she says, rushing to your side and gently pushing you back down onto the bed. "You've just had surgery. You need to rest."

Surgery...?

You could only nod weakly, your throat too dry to speak. You watch as the nurse adjusts some of the monitors and checks your vitals, making sure everything was in place.

"Everything went well during the surgery," she reassures you. "But the hanahaki flowers had grown more aggressively than expected and showed signs of piercing through your lungs. It's a good thing we performed the emergency surgery when we did."

Hanahaki... The word lingers in your mind as you try to make sense of it all. Memories began to resurface: the petals mixing with your blood, the coughing fits, and... Mingyu. It all seemed so distant now, as if it had happened to someone else.

"You were lucky that we caught in time before the growth would have overtaken your lungs," the nurse says sympathetically while writing down your vitals on a chart.

Lucky. How ironic. You were alive, yes, but at what cost? You couldn't help but wonder if the surgery had taken more from you than just the hanahaki flowers.

And then it hits you.

There's no trace of the pain that had clawed at your chest for so long, except for the skin atop your heart where you can feel the incisions. The hanahaki flowers are gone, removed during the emergency surgery, but there's something else missing too𑁋your feelings, your love, for Mingyu.

You feel nothing. No pining, no longing, no aching heart. It's as if a weight has been lifted from your chest, but the emptiness is... disquieting, unnerving, just a void, a hole in place of where your warmth resided in.

You're no longer in love with Mingyu, just like he is for you.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)

pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader

genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics

description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.

warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it

quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"

wordcount: 15.9k

a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!

You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for. 

You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.

It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister. 

Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!” 

How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide. 

Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister. 

And there you were at college. All grown up.

In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party. 

I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl. 

Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go. 

For a while, at least. 

“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.” 

“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!” 

You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous. 

You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.

“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.

“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you. 

“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!” 

“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?” 

You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?” 

“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?” 

“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!” 

You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense? 

You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks. 

“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?” 

“No,” Giselle shook her head.

“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”

“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”

“Right-”

“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”

“I get it, yep.” 

There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.

“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?” 

“Yes.” 

“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________

Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.

“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.

“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.

“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!” 

Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror. 

“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!” 

You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.

“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice. 

But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter. 

If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach. 

Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him. 

“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch. 

“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.” 

“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin. 

Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.” 

You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music. 

You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything. 

“You okay, darling?” 

You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was. 

You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.

“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?” 

The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.” 

His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again. 

“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?” 

You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.” 

“Hi.”

A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut. 

“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.” 

You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!” 

He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was. 

Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress. 

“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”

“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”

There’s a voice you know.

From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him. 

Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive. 

“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.” 

Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself). 

You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away. 

“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.

“Hey.” 

Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.

“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.” 

Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house. 

“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding. 

He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.

His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand. 

Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.

You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile. 

And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-

“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.” 

Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world. 

“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.” 

“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh. 

“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”

A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday. 

“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly. 

“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.” 

His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.” 

“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.” 

His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” 

Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”

You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.” 

Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust. 

Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.

“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head. 

“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?” 

You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.” 

“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter. 

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes. 

“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.” 

“I’d like that,” you said.

Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out. 

“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.” 

He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart. 

Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________

Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home. 

“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.

“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!” 

This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”

“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?” 

“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.

“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.

“It’s Seokmin. My-”

“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.” 

“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.” 

“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically. 

“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.

“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.

“Y/n, wait!” 

“Hm?” 

Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-

“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.

“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.” 

“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.” 

You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“You’re a prude.” 

“Goodbye, Giselle!” 

The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.

But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-

“Y/N!” 

You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth. 

“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.

Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks. 

And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.

“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary. 

Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one. 

“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.

“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.

“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.” 

A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?” 

You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.

“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned. 

"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!” 

Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down. 

You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.

It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I-” 

“I really- I don’t know what-” 

“Don’t worry-” 

You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole. 

You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted. 

“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.” 

Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.

You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark. 

There was no way you could make that jump.

That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:

Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol

Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*

This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).

As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness. 

Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:

You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/ 

You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :(((( 

You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up. 

You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:

Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha

Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush 

You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).

You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________

Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit. 

Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.

“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically. 

“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic. 

He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.

In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up. 

“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly. 

“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.” 

“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom. 

Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked. 

Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor. 

“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”

You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him. 

“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?” 

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.” 

Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents. 

That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.

It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game. 

“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.” 

“Oh, you’ve assessed?” 

“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.” 

You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?” 

“What are you getting?” 

“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!” 

One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again. 

“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced. 

“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.

“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.” 

You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.

“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.” 

He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?” 

A pause.

You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.” 

You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”

Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you. 

It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.” 

You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part. 

“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-” 

“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.

“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-” 

“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.” 

“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” 

You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy. 

“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.” 

You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-” 

“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups. 

“You sure?” 

You nodded, not trusting your own voice. 

Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs. 

You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.

His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone. 

“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.

“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently. 

“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured. 

“It’s just me.” 

It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh. 

“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips. 

“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.” 

You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.” 

Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin. 

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.” 

You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.

“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.” 

Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.

“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.” 

He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.” 

Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.

“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back. 

“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.” 

The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.

“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.” 

His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you. 

“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.” 

Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?” 

“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra. 

“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.” 

You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.” 

You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words. 

“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly. 

“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you. 

Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”

He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.

 “But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you’re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.” 

Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples. 

“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.

“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.

“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless. 

“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad. 

“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.” 

He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.” 

His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations. 

“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?” 

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand. 

“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content. 

His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed. 

His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.

“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand. 

His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.

“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.

“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-” 

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?” 

Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” 

“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it. 

Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond. 

“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus. 

“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace. 

“Yeah, and?”

You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!” 

“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.

“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.

Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms. 

“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum. 

Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely. 

You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.” 

He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.” 

Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-” 

“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.” 

You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.

“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.” 

You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent. 

Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips. 

He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.

There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed. 

He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut. 

After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________

There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.

Then it’s gone.

A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened. 

You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you? 

Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open. 

You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.” 

You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers. 

You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?

Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard. 

“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-” 

But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:

“I want to return the favor.” 

The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all. 

You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.

“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself. 

“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-” 

“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself. 

“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-” 

“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.” 

Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.

It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again. 

And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.

The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red. 

“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?” 

Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.” 

You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making. 

Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.

“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly. 

“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.” 

Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed. 

It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick. 

He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat. 

And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?” 

Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.” 

“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving. 

“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?” 

“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding. 

Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air. 

You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.

“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.” 

You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?” 

You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon. 

And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper. 

“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?” 

You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots. 

It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips. 

“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?” 

A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?” 

Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss. 

“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.” 

You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.

He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?” 

“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.

Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well. 

“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door. 

You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly. 

He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be. 

Until your phone started buzzing. 

It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.

It was Vernon.

Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth. 

You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled. 

“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately. 

“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 

Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine. 

“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.” 

“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.” 

You nodded. 

Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?” 

“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.” 

Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.” 

Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”

“Yeah, anyway-” 

Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.

Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.

“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face. 

“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”

“By-” 

You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way. 

You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.

Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done? 

You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________

Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated. 

So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true. 

Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave? 

Lee Seokmin: can we talk??

Lee Seokmin: i miss u

Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you

Lee Seokmin: can you please answer? 

Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face. 

Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.

But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back. 

The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.

And then suddenly, you weren’t. 

A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you. 

Another knock.

“Y/n, I know you’re in there!” 

Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back. 

“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.

“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway. 

A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.

“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses. 

“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-” 

“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it. 

And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him. 

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.” 

“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you. 

“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.” 

“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!” 

“Seokmin-” 

“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away. 

“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too. 

“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”

You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t. 

“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.” 

You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-” 

“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.

It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered. 

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?” 

There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:

“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.” 

Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy. 

“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now 

“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?” 

“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.” 

“Lay off my sheets, man.” 

Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.

“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.” 

“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-” 

And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?” 

“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love. 

So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist. 

And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his. 

Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star. 

“Think we can finally break open that condom now?” 

“Fuck yes,” you said.

And then you did.

this was so hot omg cannot wait for psycho I was the same after these photos dropped

JUNE!!! what if biting his pecs right before the pictures were taken so that's why he's wearing that blazer 👀

member | bf!jun x reader genre | smut, idol!au word count | ~850 smut warnings | no descriptions of reader anatomy but jun uses "good girl" as a nickname so do with that what you will, making out (like hard), dry humping, a lot of detail about abs (duh), marking, reader is a little bit possessive about the marking, somewhat dom!jun, everything is very fast and rough and steamy notes | if you wanna know how i'm doing after these pics dropped... you don't wanna know (hint: not well)

“fuck,” jun moans breathlessly as he bucks his hips up into you, his fingers holding your waist in a death grip against his lap. “you know my stylist fucking hates you, right?”

“like i give a shit,” you scoff, grazing your teeth over his hard nipple. you can feel the noises he makes vibrating deep in his chest, a low grumble beneath your lips as you let your mouth wander across his skin. “they put you in an outfit like this and expect me to not want to fuck the life out of you?”

you’re sure somebody must be looking for him by now, and people are probably starting to get angry that he’s late for the next round of photoshoots, but when he’d pulled you into his dressing room to get your approval for his outfit, you couldn’t resist the opportunity to get your hands on him, not when he looks so good so exposed like this.

it won’t be the first time his makeup artists will have to cover the fading bruises you’ve left all over his body. but in this outfit that shows off his defined abs and leaves little to the imagination, this time there’s no fabric to hide your marks from the camera. though no one ever mentions it, you know everyone notices, and it gives you a selfish sense of pride knowing that you alone are the one responsible for them.

the exhilaration of having so little time together makes your heart race with a kind of desperation you’ve never felt before. you’ve had plenty of quickies in bathrooms and closets, backstage rooms and changing areas, but never like this. sitting in jun’s lap, fully clothed, both of you frantically grinding against each other as you make it your mission to put your mouth on every inch of him as fast as you possibly can.

jun nearly growls when you rake your nails down his torso, his hands quickly moving up your body to cup your chin and pull your face towards him to capture your lips.

you push your hands flat against his chest, feeling his firm muscle beneath your palms as you desperately work your mouth with his, the sounds of both your whines mixing with the sloppy noise from your kisses.

his hands tighten in your hair, pulling your head back quickly as you both gasp for air. “god, i wanna fuck you so bad right now, but there’s no time,” he murmurs, and you can feel the heat from his breath washing over your lips.

your hands fall to his hips, tracing the deep ridges of his v-line with your fingertips as he tosses his head back with a choked moan. you lean forward to smash your lips against his, and just as you’re about to follow the trail of hair on his stomach down lower, there’s a loud knock at the door and a voice calling jun’s name urgently.

“fuck— baby, i really gotta go,” he groans as he pulls away from you, your bottom lip caught between his teeth for a second before his mouth leaves yours. “you’re gonna make me cum in these pants, and then they’ll really be pissed.”

you whine in annoyance and your fingers grip onto the collar of his jacket trying to tug him back to you, but he grabs your waist to lift you off of his lap, and reluctantly you let him stand up. he curses under his breath as he grabs at his crotch with shaky hands, trying to adjust himself quickly so the tent in his pants isn’t quite so obvious.

he wraps his hands around your waist and drags you toward him, giving you another kiss. “be a good girl and i’ll let you ride my abs when we get home later, okay?” he says in a hoarse voice, his fingers trailing down your jaw. “i know how much you like that. and then after that maybe i’ll let you lick me clean, as a treat.”

“god, that sounds so good. please make this fast, jun, please,” you moan.

“my needy baby,” he chuckles, still a little out of breath. “i’ll try, but we’re already behind schedule, and you know how long these things take.”

“i can think of something else that’s long that i’d rather be taking right now,” you pout at him. you run your hands over his chest once more, and he laughs and pulls you back in for one last rough kiss before heading for the dressing room door.

“i promise i’ll be as fast as i can, and then you can have me all you want. i’ll see you after.” he winks, and a second later he’s gone.

the door slams shut and you fall back down onto the chair with a sigh, leaning your head back as your hand slips down between your legs. you’re impatient, and you’ve got nothing but time to kill waiting for jun to finish working. but the thoughts running through your head and the lingering feeling of his skin beneath your fingertips is more than enough to keep you occupied until he comes back.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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AMOURCHEOL AGAIN????!!!

paris (teaser)

❝You and Jeonghan, jazz-filled corners, hidden history, and the city of love.❞

historical! au | exes to lovers! au | angst, fluff, smut | approx. 45k words (teaser wc. 1.4k words)

s u m m a r y : disgraced by hollywood for the last time, you, a once superstar-turned-alcoholic, escape to the city of love to seek sanctuary from the ruthless tabloids. your sanctuary comes in the form of film noir superstar yoon jeonghan, the enigmatic man who taught you the art of acting, lust and love before your fame. when he asks to meet you once, just like old times, you cannot refuse. what is meant to be a simple date turns into a path of passion, pain and everything that comes with fooling around with your ex in the jazz-filled corners of paris.

c o n t e n t s : actor! mc, actor! jeonghan, mc is incredibly bitter and makes bad decisions, agent! seungkwan who is tired of fixing them, jeonghan is the suavest, sultriest mf, mentions of parisian landmarks in this fic, also a bit of french peppered throughout, greek mythology art references, tons of fluff which is also layered with angst, this will be very hurt-comfort, hella ansgty but will have a happy ending mature warnings -> alcohol consumption and abuse, smoking, this is basically sexual tension with plot, slightly drunk making out, oral sex (f. receiving) unprotected sex (refer point to bad decisions), very soft angsty sex, body worshipping, petnames (chérie, mon ange, darling, angel), overall emotional rollercoaster, more tba!

p l a y l i s t : here!

t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld​ (let me know if y’all want to be tagged!)

a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e : after three years … four rewritings later… she may finally see the light … i am releasing the teaser now but will post the fic when i’m back from holiday! i hope you all enjoy the lil extract <3

SHIT. YOU COULD NOT DO THIS TODAY.

Suddenly, you wished he was a mere figment of your imagination, because then he would not have to see you in your drunken, disordered state, looking for art that was not there, looking for the past in the present.

But then he began to move.

This very real presence walked closer to you, and you felt your entire body constricting, because Yoon Jeonghan was in front of you, the greatest star in the world was approaching you, the man of your distant memories was coming too close.

Keep reading

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A question I get asked a lot while working at a public library is "how do you deal with homeless people?"

And the answer is, we don't.

The unhoused people who come here seeking refuge 99% of the time understand that they will be kicked out if they misbehave.

The people you have to watch out for are Jessica, who only came because the kid she didn't want had to visit for a homework assignment and she just *needs* to yell at her child for asking to borrow two books or stay an extra five minutes, or Michael, who came in to look at porn on our computers for whatever fucking reason, or Karen who just wanted to come by to throw a fit that the particular book she wanted was checked out and harrass our staff about our collection being too limited.

99% of the time, the people we need to ban are middle to upper-middle class white people while the homeless and mentally ill/disabled people mind their own damn business and are honestly some of the best patrons we have.

CIX reactions to you sitting in their lap during a bumpy car ride

genre: suggestive

requested: yes!!

a/n: thank you for this request, anon! I had wayyy too much fun writing it and I hope you enjoy reading!

bx

“Dude, cool it with the turns.” Byounggon said tightly, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. You adjusted in his lap as subtly as you could, your cheeks burning.

Seunghun offered an apologetic glance over his shoulder. “Sorry guys. They should really make cars with six seats, huh?”

Byounggon didn’t bother laughing at his friend’s joke, though the rest of the boys did. You were hyperaware of every place his body touched yours, each bump and pothole in the road somehow pressing you further into him.

When presented with your “seating” options for the two-hour-long road trip out of the city, none were wildly appealing. You loved each of your friends fiercely, but sitting on their lap wasn’t exactly how you’d planned to spend the long drive.

After ten minutes of bickering and five games of rock-paper-scissors, you and Byounggon had stared at one another in silence. And now, you were only fifteen minutes into the car ride and you felt ready to itch out of your skin.

Byounggon’s body was warm against yours, his hands resting awkwardly on the seat. You sat in silence most of the time, only contributing to the boys’ conversation when their terrible jokes became too much for you.

Seunghun took yet another turn without braking at all. Your body pitched to the side and you gasped, but Byounggon’s hands abruptly found your waist. His fingers dug into your hipbones as he steadied you, unintentionally pressing you further into his lap at the same time.

You exhaled shakily and turned your head to look at him. “Thanks,” you breathed.

Byounggon’s throat worked, his cheekbones stained with color. Were you affecting him as much as he was you? There was an incessant heat building in your stomach that you attempted to control with every breath.

Safe to say, it wasn’t working. Byounggon didn’t remove his hands from you this time, instead allowing them to relax on the tops of your thighs. The heat of them seeped through your jeans like the fabric wasn’t there at all.

Yeah, this was going to be a very long drive.

rest of the members under the cut!

seunghun

“Come on, hot stuff, I don’t bite.”

You scowled at Seunghun’s words and he giggled from his place in the backseat. You eyed the open door warily, then the rest of the boys who were waiting for you to get in. The drive would be uncomfortable, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. And after Seunghun’s goading, you were completely unwilling to lose.

You clambered into the car before you could psych yourself out of it. Seunghun opened his arms automatically to accommodate you, his hands casually linking across your stomach the moment you were settled. His arms weren’t much by way of a seatbelt, but they would have to do.

Seunghun pulled you back against his chest and laughed again at your affronted huff.

“Everyone good? Good.” Jinyoung didn’t wait for confirmation from your friend group before he shifted the car into drive. He whipped out of the parking lot with enough speed that you gasped. You unintentionally grabbed Seunghun’s thighs in an attempt to steady yourself at the same time his arms tightened around you.

Seunghun didn’t release you as Jinyoung merged into traffic. He launched into the usual bickering with the other boys almost immediately, each word he spoke vibrating into your back that was pressed against his chest.

You relaxed sooner than you thought you would. You leaned back against him, his chin resting gently on your shoulder. This position was far more intimate than you’d ever been with any of your friends, let alone Seunghun, and it affected you more than you expected.

Your heart galloped in your chest, beating so fiercely you worried he could feel it. Jinyoung ran over a pothole in the road and you inhaled sharply when the car jolted. That sensation took you by surprise, to be sure. You shifted in Seunghun’s lap at the uncomfortable heat building between your thighs and he stilled.

“What are you doing?” He whispered, quietly enough that he couldn’t be heard over the other boys’ conversation. You froze, embarrassment surging through you in a rush.

“Sorry—accident.”

The longer Seunghun considered his response, the more your anxiety grew. “You’re not… are you?” When you didn’t answer, he laughed gently. “No way.”

“Shut it, Hun.”

Seunghun’s hands slid over your hips and he lightly squeezed your waist. Another bump in the road pressed you further into his lap and you nearly groaned aloud.

Seunghun exhaled in your ear, raising pleasant chills on your neck. “This should be fun.”

yonghee

Yonghee whispered his tenth apology when the car drove over a speedbump in the road, pressing you firmly into his lap. You waved him off, trying and failing to appear casual.

In truth, you were going wild. You couldn’t seem to get a handle on the sensitivity between your legs, reacting to every sensation of Yonghee’s body against yours. He was impossibly warm and solid, his arms a comfortable brace around you as he attempted to keep you from flying across the car.

You weren’t thrilled at the idea of sitting on any of the boys' laps, but you were glad it was Yonghee. He was trying his best to be respectful, only touching you enough to keep you steady. Little did he know, that minimal contact was enough.

Your one-sided crush on him was having a field day today. It was easy enough to control your feelings when in a usual setting, but even with the other boys in the car you were struggling to keep your composure. If anything, the complete care with which Yonghee held you was only fuel to your fire.

“Are you okay?” Yonghee whispered. His voice was more strained than you expected and you turned your head to look at him. There were stars in his eyes, the mole beneath the left one close enough for you to kiss if you dared.

“Yeah… fine.”

Right, because that was convincing.

Yonghee inhaled deeply, never looking away from you as his arms tightened around your waist. You shifted on his lap again, only partly because of the way the hooligan driving—namely, Byounggon—drove over a pothole.

Heat rose in your cheeks at the sensation of Yonghee’s lap pressed firmly against your backside. He wasn’t… turned on, was he?

Judging by the way he subtly shifted against you in answer, he very much was.

You had only been in the car for half an hour. If you were already this affected, how were you going to make it through the rest of the drive?

You forced yourself to look forward again, a faint smile on your face. Maybe your crush wasn’t so unrequited, after all.

bae jinyoung

“If you keep doing that I’m going to lose my mind.”

You froze at the low sound of Jinyoung’s voice in your ear, no more than a strained whisper. Yonghee apologized from the front seat as he drove over another pothole, jostling you where you sat in Jinyoung’s lap. He exhaled heavily into your hair, his warm breath prickling your scalp.

“Doing what?” You whispered back.

Jinyoung didn’t answer. His arms around you loosened so his hands could rest on your thighs. He subtly splayed his fingers, squeezing lightly.

You released a shaky breath, aware that your cheeks were burning. Of all the boys you could have sat on during the drive, it only made sense for it to be your boyfriend. But apparently, you had made a grave mistake in doing this.

At this point, your skin was hypersensitive in every place Jinyoung touched you. His warmth seeped through your clothes, somehow as comforting as it was energizing.

Hyunsuk raised an eyebrow at you in your periphery as Jinyoung planted a soft kiss onto your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at your friend, trying your best to act unaffected by your boyfriend’s antics. It definitely didn’t work, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

This drive would be the death of you. The second you arrived at the Airbnb, you intended to steal Jinyoung away from the boys for at least an hour. That is, if you didn’t burst into flames first.

The car drove over a speedbump but you didn’t even process Yonghee’s apology anymore. Jinyoung’s fingers were lazily massaging your thighs, doing nothing to soothe the ache between them.

“You stop that,” you breathed, hardly daring to look at Jinyoung as you spoke. He laughed softly, the sound reverberating through your back. Your heart thudded unevenly in response.

Seunghun groaned dramatically from the front passenger seat. “There are thirty-eight minutes left until we get there. Then, for the love of god, please get a room.”

hyunsuk

Hyunsuk couldn’t seem to get ahold of himself. He squirmed at every bump and hole in the road, his movements only succeeding in pressing himself more firmly against you.

“Quit it, please.” You whispered, your voice low. The other boys were asleep, save Jinyoung, who was very pointedly watching the road as he drove. It was dark enough in the car that you couldn’t see Hyunsuk’s face well as you looked at him, his eyes reflecting the night sky through the window.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately. His hands were balled into fists on the seat in his effort not to touch you.

He didn’t need to apologize. In truth, you were just as affected as he was. You had been dancing around one another for months, each of you too afraid to voice your feelings aloud to the other. Of course the other boys would jump at the opportunity to make you sit in his lap during the long car ride back to the city.

You were definitely plotting Seunghun’s downfall for conspicuously shoving you into Hyunsuk’s lap.

You unintentionally shifted in Hyunsuk’s lap when the car drove over several low speedbumps in the road. The heat in your stomach rose into your cheeks and you resisted the urge to cover your face.

“How much longer?” Hyunsuk’s whisper was no more than a ghost of air moving. Apparently, he had reached the limit of his patience, as his hands at last moved from the seat to your hips. His touch was feather-light, his fingers barely curling around your hipbones as he held you to him.

“I don’t know,” you murmured back. God, the impulse to shift in his lap was enormous. “An hour?”

Hyunsuk exhaled shakily. You leaned back fully, your back pressed flush against his chest. His rapid heartbeat thudded against you, mirrored by your own.

“When we get back,” he whispered, his voice strained. “Please tell me you’ll finally let me take you to dinner.”

You laughed breathily, nervous when the low sound caused Yonghee to stir in his sleep beside you.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

if you made it this far, thank you for reading!! I'm so grateful for all of you sending requests/thoughts in my inbox, I love reading them! please like or reblog if you enjoyed it 😚

masterlist here :)

© minghaoyoudoin 2022 - all rights reserved. reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!

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veni, vidi, cecidi (ad vos) — h.js

pairing. uni student!hong jisoo x fem!reader

genre. fluff :3

summary. lost in translation...i guess? (i'm so bad at writing summaries wtf)

warnings. none. just joshua being bad at latin?

a/n. i didn't edit this. at all. i rushed this so pls bear w me 🏃‍♀️💨

“y/n, i heard some guy from our year likes you.” nayeon teases, lightly pinching the girl’s arm as she hisses, rolling her own eyes at the bunny-toothed girl. y/n rubs her arm as she shoots nayeon an annoyed look, completely missing the way a certain boy was practically melting at the sight of her as she makes her way through the bustling cafeteria within the campus.

“dude, if you’re head over heels for her, then why don’t you go for her?” jeonghan snickers, catching the younger boy off-guard. joshua shakes his head profusely, attempting to hide his reddening cheeks by pulling his hoodie over his head and pulling at the strings, effectively engulfing his face within the soft material. jeonghan simply chuckles at his friend’s lovesick state. “don’t you take latin? why don’t you confess to her in latin? i’m sure she won’t get it, right?” joshua groans as he buries his face into his arms as he leans onto the cafeteria table.

“then she’ll be stuck on that note, wondering what it means, and basically that means you’ll be on her mind!”

“nuh uh.”

“yuh huh, she won’t easily forget you if you give her a little challenge, you know what i mean?” jeonghan nudges the boy, completely oblivious to joshua’s despair.

“what you guys talking about?” seungcheol, the older and more mature of the three, asks, sitting down and setting his tray on the table. “shua’s head over heels, and i’m trying to give advice, but this baby won’t fuss up the courage to do it!” seungcheol snickers as he eyes the latter, observing how he looks absolutely dead at the moment. “how come you easily flirt with 20 different girls in our biochemistry class, but you can’t even utter a single word to the one girl you like?” jeonghan huffs, leaning back as he crosses his arms in irritation.

joshua sits up, taking off the hood of his hoodie as he fixes his tousled hair, sighing as he stabs his fork into the salad he picked out, shoving the greens into his mouth before he chews, the crunching of the leaves drowning out the chatter of the many students sitting in the cafeteria. joshua thinks to himself, pondering over the idea of confessing to the love of his life in latin, despite the fact that she’s in his latin class.

“fine, i’ll do it.” joshua sighs, making the other two boys freeze as they slowly look at joshua.

“really?”

“you’re serious?”

“yes, i am. and i’m going to do it now. watch me.” joshua pulls out his phone, pulling up google translate before ripping out a page of his bullet journal and scribbling something on it. as a final gesture, he nods to himself, getting up and marching his way over to y/n’s table, where she was busy chattering along with her friends.

right before the boy could even utter y/n’s name, joshua trips over his own feet, falling right in front of her.

“oh my god!” y/n gasps, rushing over to the boy and helping him, completely unaware of the fact that his cheeks were flushed bright red of embarrassment. clearing his throat, he fixes his posture before turning to her.

“are you-”

“this is for you.” joshua shoves the note into her face, surprising the girl. she slowly reaches for the note, grasping it and giving the boy a questioning look before opening the note, smoothing it out before she reads the 5 words written down, make her crack a smile as she reads the same words over and over again. soon enough, she breaks out into laughter, making the boy shrink as he wonders what’s so funny about the note. is it too corny? did it not make sense? was he not her type? is this stupid? wh-

“i’m sorry, that probably came off as rude. it’s just-” y/n breaks out into a fit of laughter as she bends over, catching the eyes of her friends.

“wh-what’s wrong?” joshua asks, making her calm down before she talks again.

“you wrote veni, vidi, cecidi ad vos, right?” joshua nods his head slowly, making the girl giggle before continuing. “you wrote, and i quote word for word, ‘i came, i saw, i fell to you’, in the context that you like me?” y/n asks again, and joshua nods again, the confusion arising more within him.

“well, cecidi is fall, just…not the fall used in the context of feelings…but the fall used in the context of, well…actually falling.” y/n giggles, making the boy’s eyes widen as he realizes his mistake, making him whine as he shoves his face into his hands.

“i knew this was a bad idea,” he groans, refusing to look at y/n in the eyes in the moment.

“the reason why i was laughing was because, you did exactly that, joshua.” joshua perks up at his name, the realization clicking in that oh god, she knows my name, then further realizes that oh shit, i did do exactly that.

“i, uh, wow i’m actually going to jump off a building right now.” joshua sighs, y/n giggling to herself as joshua just stares at her, admiring the fact that she is just so pretty up close. being able to see her smile lines, her grinning lips, the way her eyes light up, and the way she just looks so happy as she talks to him—it gives him intense butterflies. what catches him off-guard is what she says after.

“please don’t, because if you do, then who’ll take me on a date?”

wc. 934

tags 🏷️ —

@star1117-archives @kyeomyun @spicyseonghwas @jaehunnyy @leo-seonghwa @wqnwoos @amxlia-stars @seuonji @etherealyoungk

networks 🔗 —

@preciousillusions-net @cacaokpop-fics

Your Games Suck: Animal Crossing Edition

pairing; jeon wonwoo x kim mingyu x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni)

warnings; poly, dom!wonwoo, sub!mingyu, big dick!mingyu, unprotected sex, mild pet play, pet names, mlm, nipple play, fingering, spit play, hand on throat, thigh riding, grinding, scratching, marking, aftercare mentioned (if I have forgotten something let me know)

w/c; 5.9k and some change

requested; no

a/n; leave it to me to make minwon poly. I am not sorry. thank you to @wonwussy @onlyseokmins and @playmetheclassics for beta reading for me! and thank you to everyone for being patient and waiting just a little longer for this to be posted since I have been under the weather.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

Pursing your lips, you slide your legs up, opting to rest on over the thigh of the man resting behind you as he adjusts the Switch in his hands so that he can see the one in your hands. It wasn’t the smartest way to play a game together, but when you had asked Mingyu to cuddle with you, there was no way in hell he was going to say no.

Smiling against your ear, Mingyu drops his eyes to your Switch, watching the small character running around a tree with a net, trying to catch wasps. He had done something similar a few minutes before, and now his character was sporting a half-closed eye.

“You did better than me.”

Humming, you watch your character hold up the wasp for the camera announcing you had captured it before you glance at the large man resting behind you.

“Well, I play more Animal Crossing than you do. I’m surprised you even agreed to it.”

Shrugging, Mingyu turns his attention back to his own game, allowing his character to catch up with you. Like most of the afternoon, his cute villager had followed after you like a puppy as you collected insects, flowers and shook trees.

“It’s kinda fun. Pretty relaxing, actually. To be honest…I’m surprised Wonwoo let me come back over and ya know…do this.”

Smirking, you adjust between Mingyu’s legs, causing the man to take a breath and lean his head back briefly before he turns his attention back to the game, trying to keep his head. He wasn’t about to ruin this because he was thinking with his dick instead of his brain.

“I’m not. You are his favorite. He might even like you more than me. Are you going to steal my boyfriend one day, Gyu?”

Mingyu chuckles at your words before shaking his head. He knew you were kidding, but he also knew there was some truth behind them. Clearly, Wonwoo did have a soft spot for him if he was allowing him to be here like this with you without him in the room.

“Mm, how did you know? Figured out my master plan.”

With a smile, you lean your head back on Mingyu’s shoulder causing the man to take a subtle breath. He loved the feeling of you in his arms like this, almost too much. He knew this wasn’t going to be an everyday thing and that he shouldn’t get used to it but damn if you didn’t make it tempting.

“I’m just super smart. I might share him with you. If you ask nicely enough.”

Kicking off his shoes, Wonwoo reaches up to rub the back of his neck feeling the tension of the day running through him. He needed to relax, and he knew that the person who could help him the most by just existing wasn’t that far away.

Moving through the hall, the sound of your voice and Mingyu’s causes Wonwoo to stop in his tracks when he remembers that he had allowed his best friend to come over and keep you company. Sighing your boyfriend stands outside of the bedroom door for a moment considering the situation. After a long day, especially a stressful one, he knew he could ask for Mingyu to leave so he could have time with you alone, but he finds himself actually happy hearing the other man’s voice.

Pushing the door to the bedroom open, Wonwoo leaned against the door frame for a moment watching you with Mingyu. You looked happy and so did Mingyu. There was a stark difference between how you were with anyone else that Wonwoo had allowed you to be with romantically or sexually compared to how you were when you were with Mingyu or with Wonwoo. You looked relaxed, there was nothing you had to prove to either of them.

Glancing at the Switches in yours and Mingyu’s hands, Wonwoo smirks hearing the cute music that managed to reach his ears even under the sound of your voices. He knew how much you enjoyed Animal Crossing and he knew how many times he had told you he would play it with you later only to fall through on that promise. It made him happy to see the large, gentle puppy of a man resting behind you picking up his slack.

“Mm, you talked Mingyu into playing Animal Crossing with you?”

Smiling at Wonwoo’s voice you look up only to feel Mingyu start to move causing your smile to fade instantly.

“Where are you going, Mingyu? I didn’t tell you that you had to move? You can keep holding her. Don’t make my Princess sad. I literally told you to come over here and keep her company, didn’t I?”

Confusion evident on his face, Mingyu settles back against the pillows and the headboard allowing you to get comfortable between his legs once again. With a smile back on your face, you lean over your knees to kiss Wonwoo before resting your head back on Mingyu’s shoulder causing the man’s head to spin with what was happening.

“I just–I figured with you home, you’d want her to yourself. I didn’t want to overstep. You know, overstay my welcome. Not that I’m not enjoying this. Cause I am…a lot.”

Smiling to himself, Wonwoo looks down at his hands rubbing his thumb along his palm as you go back to playing your game and Mingyu watches him cautiously.

“I’d tell you if I wanted you to go. You’re fine, right where you are. Y/N loves that silly game. I never have time to play it with her. I’m glad you like it too, though I didn’t think you’d be into cutesy animal things, Mingyu.”

Furrowing his brows, Mingyu scoffs at Wonwoo’s teasing as he looks back at the Switch in his hands. You smile glancing over your shoulder at Mingyu, and he is a goner knowing he can’t disappoint you.

“Well, I–it’s kinda fun. It’s relaxing. Especially just laying here with Y/N like this. There’s not much to it. You can just rest and run around together.”

Biting your lip you lift a brow and look at Wonwoo as if you say “told you so” causing the man to roll his eyes at your dramatics.

“Mingyu is fun to play games like this with. He follows me around like a cute puppy. I like it. I can teach him how to play something for once.”

Sighing into a resolved laugh, Mingyu starts to try to defend himself when you describe him as a cute puppy but one glance back from you stops him before he starts. Instead, the man just leans his head back against the headboard and sighs once again.

Sitting near your and Mingyu’s legs, Wonwoo laughs at the exchange before lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck when he meets his best friend’s eyes. He could tell that Mingyu was whipped for you, and he could understand the feeling.

“It’s alright, Gyu. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger. It’s like she said…it’s cute.”

Rolling his eyes, Mingyu lays down his Switch at Wonwoo’s teasing feeling heat creeping up his neck and across his face.

“Yeah yeah. I can take it from her, but…”

“But what? You don’t like it when I tease you? I don’t think that’s true, is it…pup?”

Furrowing his brows at not only Wonwoo’s words but the word “pup”, Mingyu shifts behind you, taking a breath forcing himself to laugh off anything he was feeling. Raising a brow at your boyfriend, you bite at your bottom lip pretending to still be paying attention to your game though you had long forgotten what you were trying to do.

“Princess? Mm…be a good girl and put your games away now, ok? I’ve had a long day, and I want to play something else. As long as everyone else can play along.”

Feeling Wonwoo’s fingers slide under your chin to lift your gaze to him, the man smiles at the look on your face and how quickly you move into action. Sliding to your knees, you take the Switch from Mingyu’s hand, causing the man to swallow hard as he watches you crawl off the bed to put them away, leaving him alone with Wonwoo.

He had never felt vulnerable around his best friend before, but with Wonwoo seemingly appraising him as you did as you were told, Mingyu found himself putting his hands in his lap to cover a growing problem. Moving quickly, you cause the bed to sink slightly when you jump back onto it, crawling towards Mingyu and Wonwoo, drawing both of their eyes from each other to you once again.

“Good kitty.”

Laughing at the new pet name, you move even closer to Wonwoo letting him slide his fingers through your hair as he hums content looking over your pretty face. Wonwoo grins when he finally meets your eyes, his fingers tightening in your hair so he can pull your head back, causing you to moan quietly.

“Mm, she likes her pet name for the night. Don’t you, kitty?”

Nodding, your hair still tightly in Wonwoo’s hand, you lick your lips, your eyes moving over his handsome features until you find his lips trying to will them to meet your own. Smirking, your boyfriend leans forward, brushing his lips against yours before speaking causing you to whine out his name when he causes you to want to chase his kiss.

“Greedy little kitty. You act like you are touch starved. Has our pup not touched you at all today? Does he need to be punished?”

Mingyu watches you with Wonwoo, his breath getting caught in his throat for a moment before he finally swallows it with an audible gulp. He didn’t know that he had been allowed to touch you. He had been trying to be respectful to you and Wonwoo. What the hell was happening?

Pouting, you lean into Wonwoo’s hand as he loosens his grip on  your hair, opting to brush his fingers through your hair petting your head. You watch a smirk spread over his lips when you finally nod to answer his question.

“Yeah? She says you do, Gyu. I leave you here all day alone with her, and you leave her like this? I’m disappointed, pup.”

Shaking his head, Mingyu shifts on the bed, lifting his hand towards you and Wonwoo in confusion as he speaks.

“I–Wonwoo, I didn’t know I was allowed to–”

“Shh…the game has started.”

Glancing over to his best friend, Wonwoo looks into his eyes, giving him a look that causes Mingyu's skin to erupt in goosebumps. It was starting to make sense. It didn’t matter what had happened before he had come home, it only mattered what happened now. It only mattered what he said.

Smiling, you finally look at Mingyu with a glint of mischief in your eyes as the man keeps his hands in his lap, trying to conceal how turned on he is. It was cute how even after your talk earlier and the obvious tension in the room that the man needed the push to act.

“Wonwoo…”

A small hum falling from his lips, Wonwoo’s attention moves back to you. His fingers brushing through your hair as his eyes sweep over your face and body before he meets your eyes again in question.

“What is it?”

“He’s nervous. He knows what he wants, but…he’s too afraid to ask for it.”

Pursing his lips, Wonwoo can’t help the way his own head tilts at your words. He had caught the tail end of your conversation with Mingyu, but he hadn’t put much thought into it. There had been various conversations where Mingyu had been brought up and his affection for you and Wonwoo, but now you wanted to speak it into reality?

“Is that so, kitty? And you think you can figure out what he wants? Mmm…but we just discussed how he’s been a bad puppy and needs to be punished.”

A small whimper slips from between Mingyu’s lips, and Wonwoo can’t hide his own reaction. His brows furrowing, your boyfriend swallows hard at  the sound before licking his lips. Lifting his gaze to his best friend, Wonwoo manages to lift a brow as Mingyu shifts on the bed, trying to get comfortable with his cock pressing tightly against his jeans.

Gliding your fingers along Wonwoo’s jaw, you find yourself smiling at his reaction to Mingyu and how the evening was progressing. There was something different about having them both in your bed. It was different from any other man that Wonwoo had allowed there. It had been that way from the beginning. Mingyu has always treated you differently like you were special.

“I can let me try first…he will open up to it. You know how he feels about you.”

Shaking his head, Wonwoo scoffs at your words. His hand slides along your thigh to your hip, where he grips it tightly, causing you to whine his name.

“Then get moving.”

Biting your lip, you can’t hide the smirk that spreads across your lips when Wonwoo moves his hands, giving you permission to do as you please. The man’s eyes stay glued to you as you move from his lap.

Mingyu’s eyes lift to find you as you smile at him, your hands resting over his thighs as a shaky breath escapes from his lips. It was unfair how much he wanted you, how much he wanted this. Licking his lips, Mingyu groans your name under another breath when you settle yourself into his lap making him finally move his hands.

“It’s okay. Why are you so nervous? You’ve been in our bed before, Gyu. You’ve been inside of me before. If you don’t want to do this, that’s a different story–”

A strong hand guides you to his lips. Hearing you give him a way to leave was enough to put Mingyu into motion. He didn’t want to leave. He just didn’t want to fuck this up. Fingers glide along the side of your neck as Mingyu’s tongue dances with yours. A soft moan slips from your lips and into Mingyu’s mouth, causing the man to buck his hips up towards your warm center.

Wonwoo smirks, watching from his spot on the bed. He had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed how gentle Mingyu was with you. Eyes fall to the hand cradling your hip, fingers press into your soft clothing and the flesh resting underneath it, but nowhere hard enough to leave a mark. Mingyu remembered the rules. Maybe he could adjust them for him. He was Mingyu, after all.

“Isn’t she the prettiest kitty you have ever seen, pup?”

Nodding, Mingyu muffles a whine as it threatens to slip from his lips by biting down on his bottom lip. You can’t help the smile that spreads in response to the simple action and the gentle sound. Letting your fingers dance along the man’s chest as you lean back, you dare to walk them lower until you reach the end of his shirt so that you can start working the fabric up his toned torso.

“He might be prettier than I am, Wonwoo. I was telling Gyu earlier that you two might like each other more than you like me.”

Your words were teasing, but they caused Mingyu’s cheeks to burn and for Wonwoo to scoff into a laugh. Tilting his head, Wonwoo purses his lips in thought, watching you and Mingyu move. His eyes follow Mingyu’s shirt as you tug it over the man’s head, only to meet his best friend’s eyes and to watch him shy away.

“I wouldn’t say that, Princess, but I can admit Mingyu is important. Or else he wouldn’t be here right now. Keep going, both of you. You can leave marks, Mingyu. She looks pretty with them. Just keep being gentle…I like that.”

Licking his lips, Mingyu furrows his brows at Wonwoo’s words. He knew the rules. He had committed them to memory the first time, and he had been the one to keep to them the best. So now, hearing Wonwoo change one of them up, especially that one caused his heart to race in his chest.

“What?”

The single word on the man’s lips is enough for you to smile. Shifting in Mingyu’s lap, you place your hands over his guiding them to the end of your shirt to persuade him into helping you out of the garment as you speak.

“You heard him, baby. I told you that he likes you. Don’t be so scared. If you want something…ask for it. I want you to ask for things tonight. Can you do that for me? I can help you at first if you want?”

Meeting your eyes once your shirt is over your head and letting it fall from his fingers into the floor below. Swallowing hard, Mingyu nods, then trails his fingers across your soft breasts as he avoids looking at you or Wonwoo as he speaks.

“Just don’t wanna fuck it up, so yeah. I want that.”

Moving closer to you and Mingyu on the bed, Wonwoo lets out a breath as he trails his knuckles along your back.

“You aren’t going to fuck anything up, Mingyu. Help him, kitty.”

The feeling of Wonwoo’s fingers moving along your skin at the same time as Mingyu is electric. You had been touched by multiple people at once before, but this was different. Everything about this time felt different. Nodding to Wonwoo’s words, you lean back towards Mingyu brushing your fingers through his hair as you arch your breast towards his mouth. It doesn’t take long for the man to catch on, a soft groan slipping from his lips before soft lips leave gentle kisses along your skin.

“Harder, Gyu. I want to see where you’ve been later. I want to be able to look in the mirror and trace where my puppy was.”

His cock twitching in his pants, Mingyu mutters against your breast before latching onto your skin, letting a mark begin to bloom. Your nails scratch over his scalp, a soft pleased moan falling from your lips as you lean your head back only to find Wonwoo’s shoulder right where you needed him to be.

With a smirk on his lips, your boyfriend tilts your head towards him and captures your lips as Mingyu’s lips move across your chest, leaving the marks that you had asked for, along with a few subtle bite marks that would quickly fade. It’s only when you roll your hips down over the man’s lap that he pulls away with a groan of your name.

Dark eyes watch Mingyu as he arches against the headboard as you grind on his lap. Wonwoo lips rest against your jaw, hot breath causing goosebumps to spread along your skin while arousal pools between your legs, begging for someone to fill you.

“Take off the rest of your clothes, both of you. I don’t want Mingyu to cum in his pants because you are rubbing on him like you are in heat.”

Pouting at Wonwoo, you watch the man smile at you as he slides from the bed to start stripping his own clothes, leaving you and Mingyu to discard the rest of your own. Fingers cling, and lips find purchase on skin as you both work through your task, but eventually, you find yourself resting back between Mingyu’s thighs, his thick, hard cock heavy against his abdomen.

Trailing your finger over his shaft, you watch how the large man’s body jerks and relaxes to your touch. Soft breaths get held and slowly released as you dare to trace his leaking tip.

“Gyu?”

Your voice seems to bring the man out of a trance, his eyes lifting from your hand to your face. You watch his bottom lip fall from between his teeth, and a soft breath of question escapes his mouth as you run your hand along his stomach towards his chest.

“Do you want Wonwoo to touch you too? Like he touches me? Hm? Maybe while you make me feel good, he can make you feel good?”

Furrowing his brows, Mingyu gasps when your finger circles his nipple causing his cock to jerk against his stomach, precum oozing from his tip obscenely at the idea you had presented him with.

Wonwoo steps out of the last of his clothes when you ask the questions. His brow raises before a smirk lifts at one side of his face at Mingyu’s reaction. When Mingyu stays quiet for a moment too long, Wonwoo begins to give his best friend an out only to stop in his tracks when the man whines out a please. The sound and word causes Wonwoo’s mouth to water. His dark eyes move over you and Mingyu before he finally steps back towards the bed so he can join you both once again.

“Then this is what I want you to do for me, pup. Let our pretty little kitty get off on your thigh, and I’ll make sure you feel good too. Does that sound good?”

Licking his lips, Mingyu finally meets Wonwoo’s eyes, even if it’s for a shy moment to nod before his hands slide to your hips, helping to move you over his muscular thigh like he was asked. Resting your knees on the bed under you, you let your head fall forward to the feeling of Mingyu flexing his thigh between your legs against your wet pussy. Wonwoo seemed to know exactly what you wanted and needed before you even did.

“So good, god, that feels good.”

Mingyu grunts when you scratch your nails over his shoulder and chest as you rock your hips  over his thigh. He could already feel your arousal against his skin, and it was addictive. The pain of your nails on his skin was intoxicating, and the heat from Wonwoo’s eyes was causing him to feel like he was going to explode.

Rolling his neck from side to side, Wonwoo smirks as he moves to rest to the side of you but still behind you. You quickly realize that how he is sitting your boyfriend can not only guide you over Mingyu’s thigh but also reach any part of the man that he wanted to. With one hand on your hip, Wonwoo leans against your back, his cock throbbing against your ass, to finally test the waters as he trails his fingers along Mingyu’s abs upwards.

“I want you to start looking at me, Mingyu. How does that wet pussy feel on your leg? She’s already panting…if you keep flexing your thigh, she’ll cum in no time.”

Lifting his eyes to meet Wonwoo’s, Mingyu feels his breath get caught in his throat even before he can answer the man’s question as his thumb brushes over his left nipple, sending a wave of pleasure through Mingyu’s body. A soft grunt slips from his lips, and Mingyu’s thigh tenses between your legs, causing you to whine out, your nails digging into his shoulder when you are able to get just the right amount of friction against your clit on his thigh.

“You are sensitive. Princess, tongue out for me. Good girl...”

Wonwoo smiles as you quickly follow his commands, your tongue extending for him to brush his fingers against quickly. You watch as he then puts those same fingers back on Mingyu’s chest, rolling his nipple between them slowly.

Arching off the headboard, Mingyu mutters Wonwoo’s name under his breath like a prayer. His hands cling to your hip and Wonwoo’s wrist, causing your boyfriend to raise a brow and press down harder over the sensitive bud.

“You are leaking all over yourself, pup. How about this? If you are a good boy and make our kitty cum on your thigh, I’ll let you fuck her while I’ll play with you both. You like that?”

His head falling forward, Mingyu hisses out a sound that sounds like a yes but Wonwoo not being satisfied with the answer simply tsks in disappointment. You bite your lip watching as Wonwoo’s fingers lace through Mingyu’s hair at his forehead pulling the man’s head up so he can meet his eyes once again.

A soft hissing groan gets lost behind Mingyu’s lips when he presses them together tightly trying to hide how much he enjoys Wonwoo’s tight grasp. Instead his nose flares for a moment before he takes a full breath and meets his best friend's eyes with new found fire.

“Yes, I like that. I want that, please.”

Loosening his grip, Wonwoo brushes his fingers through Mingyu’s hair with a much more gentle touch after he gets his answer. A smile on his lips, his cock leaking against your back as you press back against him still desperately trying to get off on Mingyu’s thigh.

“There we go. Good boy. Spit on my fingers?”

Lowering his gaze to the hand in front of his lips, Mingyu looks back to Wonwoo’s eyes before he does as he’s told, spitting onto the man’s fingers. He can only watch out of the corner of his eye as that hand moves back downwards and you moan loudly when Wonwoo’s fingers find your clit.

The pressure building is quick and intense. Between the friction of Mingyu’s thigh and Wonwoo’s fingers you aren’t able to hold yourself back. Soft panting moans slip from between your lips causing Mingyu to grip the comforter under him as Wonwoo’s nails scratch over his chest.

“Shit, there you go. Look how pretty my pets are. You think you can take Mingyu’s cock now, Princess?”

Whining out a yes, you turn your head to meet Wonwoo’s eyes as he smirks. You were cute when you were desperate. Mingyu groans, feeling your weight shift over his lap. Your fingers wrapping around his length causes the man to lean his head back as Wonwoo slides back on the bed with a chuckle.

“Eager, not so fast. Mingyu let me sit where you are. You can lean back against me and then…then you can climb on that cock, kitty.”

Furrowing his brows, Mingyu watches as Wonwoo pulls you back by your hips. You pout turning into a smirk of your own when your boyfriend moves back to the bed, waiting for Mingyu to slide forward.

“I won’t bite, pup…not unless you want me to.”

Licking his lips, Mingyu scoffs into an amused look before scooting forward, allowing Wonwoo to sit against the headboard like he had been. Wonwoo’s hands rest on Mingyu’s shoulders lightly as he smirks at you, ushering the man back between his legs until his back is flush against his chest.

Swallowing hard, Mingyu glances over his shoulder to meet Wonwoo’s eyes briefly as he feels the other man’s cock throb against his back as your fingers brush over his thighs.

“Comfortable?”

Nodding, Mingyu starts to speak, only to have the words caught in his throat when your hand wraps back around his length. Twisting your hand gently, you bite at your lips, sliding your hips over his to lower yourself towards his waiting, leaking tip when the man lets out a groan of your name before speaking.

“I’m not wearing a condom.”

Wonwoo grins, brushing his lips over the man’s ear, causing chill bumps to spread along his skin as he watches you carefully begin to sit down. The stretch was evident on your face. It was clear that you were feeling that pleasurable pain that you enjoyed so much as Mingyu’s cock was buried deep inside of you.

“You aren’t, but I didn’t say you had to, did I?”

Mingyu’s mouth felt dry as he leaned his head back on Wonwoo’s shoulder. Your walls clenching around him, Wonwoo’s hands running along his arms as his lips pulled up into a smirk against his neck. It was almost overwhelming.

“Fuck–I…”

Hands find your hips as Mingyu bucks up into you, the words slipping from his lips as his body moves against Wonwoo’s, both men letting out groans that cause you to shiver. You had known that you would enjoy doing this with both of them again…you just had no idea how much.

“Just like that, pup. Go deep in her. She likes that. You want her to be happy, don’t you? If she’s happy, I’m happy.”

His eyes closed tightly to Wonwoo’s deep voice right against his ear. Mingyu hisses out a groan feeling the man’s fingers moving over his chest once again. He was already so close. You felt like heaven around his cock, and now, with Wonwoo’s fingers lazily circling his nipples, Mingyu knew he wasn’t going to last long.

“Please…I–wanna…”

Smirking to Mingyu’s whines, Wonwoo moves one hand from the man to your face tilting your head back enough that your gaze meets his. The fucked out look on your face was like art. That mixed with the sounds leaving Mingyu’s mouth, the way the man’s thrusts caused just the right amount of friction against Wonwoo’s cock and Mingyu’s back…Wonwoo wasn’t far behind.

“Wanna what? Tell me, Mingyu. Do you wanna fill her up? Hm, fuck her full?”

Laughing in disbelief between groans, Mingyu’s head falls forward from Wonwoo’s shoulder so he can latch onto your shoulder, drawing a groan from your lips. Your eyes never leave your boyfriend’s as he slides his hand from Mingyu’s chest to his neck, letting it rest there loosely.

“And what do you want, kitty? You wanna be full of his cum?”

Mingyu feels your head nod almost frantically as his thrusts pick up in intensity and pace. His fingers clinging to your waist hard enough to bruise with one hand as the other reaches for Wonwoo’s thigh as if to ground him, feeling the other man buck against his back.

“Ah…fuck. Then do it.”

With a loud grunt, Mingyu falls back against Wonwoo, his hips meeting yours hard with a few final trusts that cause his cum to begin to drip onto his thighs and the comforter below the two of you. Holding onto you and Mingyu with one hand each, Wonwoo gasps when he finds himself until unable to hold himself back anymore either. Cum paints Mingyu’s back as Wonwoo’s teeth scratch over the man’s neck.

Panting through your moans, you roll your hips over Mingyu chasing your own high as you watch the two men collapse in bliss. Your stomach tightening, you whimper, holding tightly to Wonwoo’s forearm as his thumb brushes your bottom lip. Meeting his eyes, you feel the coil that had been tightening snap inside of you, causing you to tighten even more around Mingyu.

The orgasm is so intense your thighs tremble, and you find yourself relying on the two men to keep you upright. Soft pleasured moans fall from your lips when you find yourself moved to lay on your back, fingers running through your hair. A smile pulling at your lips, you feel too tired to open your eyes but realize that it doesn’t matter which of the men is doting on you. You adore them both.

“Y/N…are you still sleeping?”

Nuzzling into the comforter, you cause Mingyu to smile as he leans down to press a kiss to your temple, unable to stop himself from being endeared by you. How would he ever go back to how things were before after something like this?

“No…I want to be though.”

A warm laugh greets your ears as his fingers brush through your hair, causing you to roll onto your back, allowing the man to look at your face.

“You can go back to sleep once you are cleaned up and have eaten something. Wonwoo told me not to let you sleep too long. I think he’d really kick me out if I don’t listen…”

Shaking your head no, you wrap your arms around the man’s bicep, pulling him down on the bed, causing him to laugh once again, feeling your lips press to his skin. You were so tempting.

“Babe…I–”

“She’s sneaky. Get up, Princess. I have food ready. Get in the shower with Mingyu and then you both come out and eat. Then we can go back to bed.”

Hearing Wonwoo’s voice seems to pull you out of your daze. Turning from Mingyu’s arm you look over your boyfriend who was dressed in pajama pants and his glasses resting low on his nose. A smile forming on his lips, Wonwoo lifts his brow lifting his hands when you don’t move right away.

“Does he need to carry you?”

Whining, you sit up with a pout on your face feeling Mingyu’s fingers run over your back as he smiles at your reaction.

“I can walk. Does this mean I get to keep him?”

Wonwoo purses his lips letting his eyes fall on Mingyu once before they return to you curiously.

“You want to? You liked it that much? Am I not enough?”

Scoffing at his words, you slide off the bed as Wonwoo laughs at your reaction, moving into the room as Mingyu stands up, sliding his hands over his arms nervously.

“Why do you have to say it like that? You know it’s not like that.”

Brushing his hands over your face once he is close enough, Wonwoo tilts his head, looking down at you as you continue to pout up at him.

“I know, I’m teasing you. I liked it too. If Mingyu wants to stay, he can. He can come over anytime he wants. I’m okay with this.”

Hearing his name, Mingyu lifts his head, swallowing hard before taking a few steps forward with a smile lifting at his lips.

“Seriously? You all want that?”

Turning towards Mingyu, you can’t help but smile at the large puppy of a man. He was so big and yet could look so cute and small when he stood like he was waiting for a treat.

“I do, yeah. You are special, Mingyu. Clearly…there is more in this relationship between the three of us to explore. I’ve never felt better.”

Wonwoo laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back against his chest as he sighs, looking at Mingyu.

“She means she’s never been more spoiled, but yeah, I want it too. Stay the night. There’s no need to rush off. Get this troublemaker in the shower and come out and eat. I got both of your favorites.”

Feeling Wonwoo’s lips against your cheek, you grin, nuzzling against the man as Mingyu looks at you both adoringly. Clearing his throat trying to hide how happy he is, Mingyu shifts in place, reaching to adjust his own borrowed sweatpants before smiling again when he realizes he can’t keep it from his face.

“Yeah, I want it. Alright, I can handle that. Thanks for trusting me. Come here, babe. I won’t even make you do anything in the shower. How’s that for spoiled?”

Laughing, you move from Wonwoo, who scoffs at Mingyu’s words rolling his eyes when you lean up to kiss the taller man gently. Looking at Wonwoo over your shoulder, you stick your tongue out at him teasingly only for him to shake his head. Turning away to hide his own smile, you and Mingyu listen to him sigh out his words as the two of you step towards the bathroom.

“Now I have two brats…”

© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

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there’s something very dystopian like at the fact that we’re all supposed to continue on with our lives, go to work/school, carry on with our daily routines like we’re not witnessing three countries (sudan, congo & palestine) go through a genocide and mass ethnic cleansing right now all through our mobile phones & the internet

prettiest goofiest best friends