I Have Just Learned That Mountain Goats Are NOT, In Fact, Actual Goats.

my sister just asked me if i could make her breakfast tomorrow cause she's tired and wants to have 10 more minutes of sleep in the morning, you know what that means?? it means that i gotta do the best fucking breakfast that little fucker has ever tasted, yes, i'm gonna wake up at the ass crack of dawn and show her how the BEST breakfast is made exactly

We failed as a society when everyone stopped wearing headphones.

love listening to music and then going oh no a song to apply to a Situation

The four penguins from Madagascar are, somehow, isekaied in the middle of the clone wars

merry ides of march

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

is there anything better than an ancient greek hedgehog figurine? i think not

"don't do this it will make your skin look older and give you wrinkles" and what do you think i'm here for?? you could not have chosen a worst argument, all i'm here for is to get older with each passing day waiting for my death