Matthew 5:7

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Making my little sister identify random Star Trek characters:

White Bread:

“If the computer ever doesn’t work, he sticks his finger in the socket and becomes the computer.”

“He hasn’t been outside in like, 80 years.”

“He cuts his own hair.”

Charles Xavier:

“He’s Captain Kirk’s father.”

“He comes onto the ship only for parent observation day, and he enjoys a good doughnut.”

Banana:

“He chose his name based on the color of his shirt. When you join the space, they let you pick a new name.”

“He works in the cafeteria, but everybody hates it because he only serves bananas.”

(This child has watched the original series. I don’t understand.)

Martha John:

“She used to be a nun, but she liked the space life instead, so she quit the sisterhood and joined the space.”

“White Bread cuts her hair too, with computer-like precision.”

“She hosts the ship’s karaoke party every Friday, and always opens with ‘My Heart Will Go On’.”

Darren:

“He’s the head of weapons” (said after I insisted that the ship has to have people with practical skills and not just party organizers.)

“When he joined, everyone thought he was so pretty they put his picture up everywhere.”

“He studies aliens but only the little ones.”

Winkle:

“They rescued Winkle from a bacon farm.”

“They give him a spray tan when he feels sad.”

“His job on the ship is he’s an emotional support animal, but he’s also a man.”

Sansha:

“What’s on her head?”

“Okay she studies space bugs, but when she flies around in space her visit only covers part of her face, so there’s bug debris.”

“She doesn’t like Winkle because he’s not a bug.”

“First name: He. Last name: Hears”

“He’s the professional ‘spakeup artist’ (space makeup artist). His job is to make them all look good.”

“Ears are in style right now.”

“His eyeshadow is on fleek.”

Dan:

“Just an ordinary man.”

“His part-time job is fixing the ship’s engines. His full-time job is being a footrest. He sits down and lets people rest their feet on him.”

“They’re not sure he’s human but don’t question him because he might have a deeper power.”

Lieclops:

“He lies.”

“He’s in charge of alien communications because he speaks a bunch of languages, but he only knows how to lie.”

“He has no eyes, only lies. That’s his motto. ‘All lies, no eyes’.”

Time travel trouble Pt. 1

He'd been Robin for four years, and in that time Batman had "died" at least six times, most of which had been in the past two years. Supervillains were getting to be more of a problem than ever before. So there Dick was, chatting to Alfred over the comms and strolling down the street in search of Batman, when he found him.

"Oh, there you are, Bruce, where's the batmo-" he stopped. Something was off about this "Batman." An imposter? No, he looked too similar to him to be that. A clone? No, he didn't look that much like him. He was skinnier, and he looked vaguely lost... Dick facepalmed.

Time travel, he thought to himself. Great day for it.

"Call you back later, Alfred."

The who-knew-how-much younger version of Batman was on the roof of a nearby building, looking around. Trying to figure out what was going on, maybe? Time to clear that up for him. Dick grappled up onto the building and trapped him on the shoulder.

"Bruce?" He said.

Batman spun around. "Dick, there you are- hang on..."

"Batman, you time traveled. To the future. I think. Which is annoying, because current you is MIA. Anyways, we need to get back to the batcave to figure this out."

"Time travel, that one's new. And why should I believe you, "Dick"? You don't look that much like him at all. How are you so calm about this? ... And why isn't the batmobile where we left it ten minutes ago?"

"Because we left it there several years ago, and it's called aging. And this stuff happens more often now. But seriously, we need to get back to the batcave and figure this out. Alfred's gonna have a field day of sass."

Since only the real Dick could know Alfred, and by extension, predict his reaction, that's exactly what they did. Alfred was already in the batcave dusting when they arrived. As the dynamic duo charged down the stairs (Well, one charged, the other trotted confusedly) Dick shouted, "Alfred! You'll never guess what happened!"

I don't like it

quick what’s ur opinion on tea. everyone who sees this is obligated to answer in some way

i forgot to say good morning

What people call the 48 touching US states

Broke: the continental United States

Woke: the contiguous United States

Bespoke: the lower 48

Am I annoying? YES! And YOU probably are too! And that’s OKAY!! We can FORGIVE EACH OTHER!!!

People are forgetting to get gifts. I keep forgetting it's Christmas. I dreamed that it snowed and all was right with the world. Where is my winter weather? Are my brand new snowboots for nothing at all? Do the sno-brums that are perpetually in my parents' cars and at every store mean nothing? Why can I see grass? Are the sleds waiting so patiently in the basement just meaningless hunks of plastic?

Where is MY December??? 😭

Save what’s left of us. 🙏💔

Hello there, 🙏💔

I’m reaching out with a heart full of both hope and hardship. 😔 My family and I are in Gaza, and life has become a daily struggle due to the ongoing devastation and conflict. 💔🌪️ We’re doing our best to get by, but even the basics are difficult to come by. 🍞💧

I know that people around the world have shown great compassion to those affected by crises. 🌍💙 If you’re able to support us with even a small contribution, like 10 euros, it would truly make a world of difference. ✨🙏 This support would help us meet our needs and take a step closer to finding safety. 🕊️ Our only hope now is to leave Gaza for a safer place where we can rebuild our lives and look forward to a more peaceful future. 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️❤️

If you were in my place, facing what we face every day, what would you do? Any kindness you can offer would be a light in this darkness.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for any kindness you can offer. Your compassion means more than words can say, and we deeply appreciate it. 💖🙏

With all my gratitude and best wishes for peace for you and your loved ones, 🌈🕊️

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