I Can Imagine How Odysseus Is Telling Penelope Everything. But Because It Just Gets Worse He Is Chilled

I should have known better than to post something to multiple popular tags

Ghosts that should exist soon if not already

Notifications/typing noises in otherwise empty spaces

People waving you over from the side of the road and asking if you're their Lyft. Disappear the moment you look away

Abandoned warehouses that sometimes reverberate with an unheard bass

'Cold spots' where you can't get signal (that cannot be otherwise explained)

That dispensary with the blacked out windows? It used to be a Blockbuster until the manager got shot. If it's the right kind of night and you look real close and cup your hands to block out all the light? You can watch it happen, but they might see you

Newsletters from startups that no longer exist

Hype House haunted by the reason they had to make an apology video

Pictures of a stranger in your camera roll

At 2:30 every morning you can hear a ringing bell coming from the elementary school. Thing is, they switched to a digital tone in 2013. Also, it cannot be captured electronically

Welcome to Denny's what can I start you on? You already ordered? Wait.. Tall, pink hair? *sigh* Been dead for a mtonth and she's still stealing tips

Something massively underused is that Clark Kent is clumsy. And no, it's not an act, it's because of his superstrength and he really is clumsy. I think in the modern age of superheroes, it's been mostly abandoned. Therefore, I will be writing a story where he is even clumsier than Christopher Reeves' Superman to compensate. In fact, any story involving Superman will have this Clark Kent.

"Hey Clark! Catch!"

Just as always, the stapler Lois had thrown was not caught. Clark Kent had almost gotten it a few times, dropped it, and then tripped over his own feet. He got up and turned to Lois.

"Can't you just hand it to me?" He said. Jimmy was making no attempt to hide his giggling in the background as Clark got to his feet.

"I have to make sure you're still our old Klutz Kent, don't I? What better way?"

"Aw Lois, of course I am. Wait! Oh no! That article!"

He slipped but didn't quite fall on his way back to his desk and slid triumphantly into his chair. Everything at the Daily Planet was soon finished. Clark, Lois, and Jimmy were on their ways home when another one of those weirdos showed up from space. Jimmy and Lois remembered fondly earth's first alien invasion and how they had actually been concerned.

Meanwhile, Clark had other problems. He'd slipped into an inconspicuous Alley to change, in which there had been a small child. He held a finger to his lips and launched into the sky. It was a quick fight, and he was home only a few minutes after he was supposed to be. It was also helpful that he had needed to stop for groceries and therefore had an alibi. The 3 bags did a bit of tumbling, but the eggs remained intact.

As he finally tripped on his way into his apartment, he saw that Jimmy and Lois, instead of being at their own houses, were standing waiting for him, with notepad and camera.

"We finally have a lead" said Jimmy. "Y'know, on the Lexcorp corruption case?" Clark smiled. Maybe Luthor would finally be outed as not only a supervillain, but also- gasp- a crooked businessman.

To be continued

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Leaving the fair, 2024

You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? It’s the way you can express “I don’t know” without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?

Who relates?

The plot ideas in my head: incredible, beautiful, award-winning

My plot ideas when I write them down: dumpster fire

The founding of the Justice League- part 1

It's an alien invasion, he'd thought. Just your run- of-the-mill alien invasion, he'd thought. He'd been wrong. That's why he was standing with some other oddballs, trying to stop it when they had never worked together before. Mondays, amirite?

***

Let's go back to the beginning.

Days like this always seem to start more normally than other days. In fact, it was quite a peaceful day all over the world- truces in wars, friends hugging after years of feuding, etc... until around 11 a.m. It was first noticed over Nigeria- some spaceships partially blocking the sun. Soon enough, they had spread everywhere in the world.

Earth was almost used to alien invasions at this point. They happened once or twice a month. Everyone trusted the superheroes to stop it.

There was a voice coming from the sky, which was never a good sign. "Surrender now," it said. "Earth is ours. You are too primitive to resist. We will conquer all."

The aliens were right about one thing- it quickly became clear that Earth was outmatched. The alien ships seemed to be resistant to, well, everything. Heat vision, big green hammers, just straight getting punched at mach 27.

Swish! Flash heard something behind him. He knew even before turning around who it was.

"Superman."

"Hi."

"... What are you doing in Central City in the middle of an alien invasion?"

"We need to work together."

"I... what? Oh! That does make sense. Wha-"

Before either of them had time to think, Batman was standing there. "Agreed."

***

"I'm not really the best at teamwork," Wonder Woman admitted.

"Me either, but we don't have a choice," Superman replied. "I guess we need a plan."

"I've got one," Batman said. "We find where things leave... They've got to exist. We go in through there and disable the ship. That's very simple."

"Nope," Superman denied it. "I've been up there. It's all liquidy. Stuff comes out through the wall like it's a blob. It doesn't let anything in, I know that from... unpleasant experience." He shivered a bit.

"So what if we hijack one of their weird little pod thingies and use that?" Green Lantern suggested.

"And how do you plan to get in? I saw a weirdly shaped thing they had to put in when I got up close to one." Flash countered.

Batman mentally facepalmed. Honestly, doing this with Robin would be easier...

"Like this?" Green Lantern asked, smiling. After a bit of deliberation and two bits of arguing, he had approximated the shape as a construct, and the Flash looked a bit flustered about forgetting who he was teaming with.

And now to find something to use it on...

###

To be continued

https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/im-broke-and-friendless-and-ive-wasted-my-whole-life.html