So Nanowrimo Is Actually Dead.

Did you know you can play uno with normal playing cards? Just use the suits as colors, and they already have numbers. Assign the special powers like +2 or reverse to the face cards, and use the joker as a wild since it doesn't have a suit. My usual assignments are:

King: +4

Queen: +2

Jack: reverse

Ace: skip

“Everybody watches porn” stfu literally

i love you im glad you exist im so happy you’re alive

My entire attitude towards grammar

people think writers make good English teachers but the opposite is true. sixth grader asks why she can’t start a sentence with “and” and im like idk girlie grammar is a construct and language is a fluid gelatinous animal. people used to write “thou” and they were being totally unironic about it. start your sentences with an exclamation point for all i care. a+

(study hall, hearing 9th graders discussing a project about provinces in Canada)

"What am I supposed to put on the slides? No one lives in New Brunswick. No one cares about New Brunswick. All I have is the bay of Fundy."

Time travel trouble Pt. 1

He'd been Robin for four years, and in that time Batman had "died" at least six times, most of which had been in the past two years. Supervillains were getting to be more of a problem than ever before. So there Dick was, chatting to Alfred over the comms and strolling down the street in search of Batman, when he found him.

"Oh, there you are, Bruce, where's the batmo-" he stopped. Something was off about this "Batman." An imposter? No, he looked too similar to him to be that. A clone? No, he didn't look that much like him. He was skinnier, and he looked vaguely lost... Dick facepalmed.

Time travel, he thought to himself. Great day for it.

"Call you back later, Alfred."

The who-knew-how-much younger version of Batman was on the roof of a nearby building, looking around. Trying to figure out what was going on, maybe? Time to clear that up for him. Dick grappled up onto the building and trapped him on the shoulder.

"Bruce?" He said.

Batman spun around. "Dick, there you are- hang on..."

"Batman, you time traveled. To the future. I think. Which is annoying, because current you is MIA. Anyways, we need to get back to the batcave to figure this out."

"Time travel, that one's new. And why should I believe you, "Dick"? You don't look that much like him at all. How are you so calm about this? ... And why isn't the batmobile where we left it ten minutes ago?"

"Because we left it there several years ago, and it's called aging. And this stuff happens more often now. But seriously, we need to get back to the batcave and figure this out. Alfred's gonna have a field day of sass."

Since only the real Dick could know Alfred, and by extension, predict his reaction, that's exactly what they did. Alfred was already in the batcave dusting when they arrived. As the dynamic duo charged down the stairs (Well, one charged, the other trotted confusedly) Dick shouted, "Alfred! You'll never guess what happened!"

Bat Family is Multilingual

While that seems like an obvious observation, not enough people talk about it, either on this site on anywhere else. But yeah, the Bats are a polyglot household. And for those that grew up speaking more than one language, we all know the mayhem that brings.

You know the "spanglish" and "portenglish" that we create? It's on another level at the Wayne residence. Conversations switch languages every sentence, for their dialect of gibberish to anyone outside of it.

For example, the conversation goes: English -> Spanish -> Swahili -> Aramaic -> Mandarin -> Portuguese -> Patuá (Macanese Patois) -> Romani -> Navajo -> Kryptonian -> Coptic -> Arabic -> Doric Greek (Greek from Sparta) -> Griko (Greek dialect in Italy) -> Cherokee -> Vietnamese -> Nahuatl -> Hebrew -> Back to English

Also, they switch languages depending on what they're cooking and proceed to shout it across the kitchen. The loudest The Latin ones and Arabic.

Even sign language is multilingual. The family has their version of it (created by Cass, which uses more body language and movements that show things and feelings instead of words), but they switch between American, British, French, New Zealand, Irish, Brazilian, Maritime, Hong Kong, Inuit, Ka'apor, and even Plains Indian SL on the daily basis. It's so varied that for an outsider, it just looks like their gesturing half the time.

And honestly, I think it all started with an angry Bruce learning French and German from Alfred.

Jesus loves you