"youve Already Written That Trope" Yesss. I Like It A Lots. I Will Be Writing It Again. 1000 Stories

A Gift From God — John Ward x gn! reader

summary: Reader is forced to go to church and ends up meeting one of the priests. They think nothing much of it until they run into him again, and something blossoms between them.

tw: Slight religious truama?? Like not in depth or anything. Hard not to mention religion when it comes to a game about a priest lmao

a/n: Okay, a couple things. 1. This is gender neutral, but I do use the term school girl crush. I think it can be a gender neutral term to describe the feeling of a person if you know what I mean. 2. I tried to leave the reader's religion up in the air (?) but you can tell it leans towards atheist viewpoint. I totally made the reader relatable to me and I myself am an atheist.

wc: 1.9k

Master List

Going to church wasn’t my cup of tea. Yet the money my grandma waved under my nose just to go to church with her was too tempting. Besides, I can tune out another service and make a good $30. It’ll help pay my bills anyways. I stared up at the stage, not really paying attention. Not until the other priest starts speaking and god damn, he’s cute as fuck. I can’t help but internally chuckle as my mind couldn’t help but ogle at him. I felt saddened by the fact that I didn’t get his name, but it was whatever. It’s not like anything was going to happen.

I wasn’t as down about the service since I had a cute priest I could daydream about. I was surprised I wasn’t burning from how my thoughts weren’t really as pure as they should be. Although I tried not to let my thoughts get too weird. Once the service ended, I got up with my grandparents and we exited the main room. My grandma asked me to wait in the hallway as they wanted to speak to the priests quickly. I agreed, although I felt like they were up to something. 

I awkwardly leaned against the wall as people all dressed to the nines walked past me. I nodded politely as they walked past. I fidgeted with my hands as soon only a few people lingered and I felt out of place. I really just wanted to get out of here and watch t.v. 

“Hello, you must be (y/n),” An unfamiliar voice spoke from my left. I turned to face the person only to feel my heart drop. It was the cute priest, and the fact that he not only knew my name, but was currently speaking to me was because of my grandparents. 

I gave him a strained smile, trying not to seem like I was dying inside, “Hello Father…”

“Ward,” He supplied his name for me, a more relaxed smile on his face. “How are you on this fine day?”

“I’m alright,” I shrugged, just wanting to get this over with. “How are you?”

“Good,” He nodded. “Your grandparents shared some concerns they have.”

I felt tense and looked to the side rolling my eyes, I couldn’t hide the disdain I clearly felt at that moment, “Well I’m sorry to waste your time Father, they tend to get paranoid.”

“They said you seem to stray from religion,” He continued, which caused my frown to grow. 

“Well, I’m still figuring things out,” I shrugged. “Don’t tell them I said that, they’ll go even crazier if they know I said that.”

Father Ward nodded and gently patted my shoulder, “We all go through trials of faith, if you ever have questions or need help, do not be afraid to come to me.”

I looked back towards the brunette priest and gave him a more genuine smile, “Thank you for respecting that. I’ll keep your offer in mind.”

With a nod he bid me farewell. Then my grandparents came back, seeming more cheerful than before. I knew that people who were religious weren’t all bad, my grandparents just ruined my view on religion. But perhaps a priest of all people can prove just how not all people are bad. Although I doubt I’ll see him again. 

Which I was wrong about. I did see him again, when I was out grocery shopping of all places. I was picking out some of my favorite fruit only to see a familiar priest in casual attire checking out some vegetables. Normally, I avoid people I’ve met before if I see them again. Seeing someone I’ve met only once before tends to make my anxiety go off. And I still felt anxiety pulse through me, but something in me told me to speak up. He was really nice when we talked, so it shouldn’t be too bad to just greet him in public.

“Uhm,” I stuttered out, immediately regretting whatever made me think this was a good idea. “H-hi?”

Father Ward, the only name I knew him by currently, looked up and towards me. Confusion, surprise, and then a warm look flashed over his features in that order, “Hello!”

I felt my brain race, not sure what to say now. Once again, I regret putting myself in this situation.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” I replied awkwardly. 

“Well, I don’t live in the church,” He chuckled.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “But it’s kinda like seeing a teacher outside of school if you know what I mean.”

He laughed a bit more at that and nodded, “I can see that.”

I cleared my throat, unsure how to end the conversation, “I’ll uh, leave you to it then. Sorry to bother you.”

“Not a bother at all,” He smiled warmly in response. “You’re doing well I hope?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, surprised that he was keeping the conversation going. “Just work all day and rest at home. How about you?”

“I could be doing better,” He admitted, not meeting my eyes. “But I won’t bore you about all that.”

I felt myself frown, I already felt myself grow attached to him. Which I knew was dumb, he was a priest, so of course he’s going to be friendly. But I didn’t interact with people outside of work much anymore so it was a nice breath of fresh air. It didn’t help that this interaction was humanizing him more than how I viewed him before, as a man of God that was perfect. 

“I don’t mind you sharing,” I said softly. “Although I doubt you’d want to tell me in a grocery store.” 

“I wouldn’t want to burden you with my problems,” Ward said with a grim smile. “Besides, we barely know each other. You don’t even know my first name.”

“Well,” I said a bit dumbly. “Then tell me.”

He hesitated, “John.”

“Nice to meet you John,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Maybe we could catch a movie or something and get to know each other better.”

That day, a relationship grew. We had a small home made dinner at my house and well…got to know each other better. After that, we’d hang out here and there. It was really nice. He was a sweet guy, although a bit disturbed. He opened up to me about his past. Not much, but I could piece things together. He told me he partook in an exorcism gone wrong, how after he wasn’t well mentally but got help and how he was better now. How he had a wife but they got divorced a few years ago, but how she wasn’t at fault, and he understands her reasoning.

So I did some research. I found out about Amy Martin, how she was now in psychiatric care, and how terrible the entire situation was. I knew that if John wanted to tell me his perspective of the event, he would in his own time, I don’t want to reopen any wounds. All I wished was to be a new support in John’s life, someone he knows he can lean on when he needs it.

One night, John and I planned on watching a movie, at my house he persisted. I didn’t mind. I made some popcorn, got some sweets I bought just for tonight, and set it all out on my coffee table. A knock on the door made me perk up and I got up to answer it right away. I smiled brightly as I saw John stand on the other side. His face showed relief and I immediately became worried. I noticed how he had dark circles under his eyes and my assumption was he must’ve had a nightmare again.

I ushered him in, asking if he wanted anything to drink, which he asked for some water. I got a glass of water as quickly as I could before walking back into my living room. He thanked me as I handed him the glass and I sat down next to him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly, hoping not to startle him into keeping to himself.

His blue eyes met mine, but looked away quickly after sipping some of the cold water. It was silent for a few seconds before he confessed, “I had another nightmare.”

I licked my lips, unsure of where to go from here. I’ve never been the best at comforting people. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He became tense and I knew that was the wrong thing to say, “I’d rather try and forget about it.”

I nodded in understanding, “Did you still want to watch a movie? We could do something else as well.”

“You seem to have put a lot of effort into our movie night,” John smiled shyly. “And with you by my side I feel better already.” 

I felt my heart skip a beat and I tried to act calm. I always found him attractive, but the more I got to know him, the harder I seemed to fall. I felt like a schoolgirl getting a crush, it was so embarrassing. I mean he was a priest after all, could he even date? I  mean he mentioned his ex-wife before, but I was still unsure about all that. He still seemed to really care for her after all. 

“Well I’m glad I can give you some form of comfort,” I smiled sheepishly back. “Need a hug?” I opened my arms at the invite, hoping I’m not coming off like an idiot. 

He hesitated once more, before slowly wrapping me in an embrace. I rubbed his back in a soothing manner. I felt myself melt into the hug, not used to being touched in such an affectionate manner. Though I reminded myself that this was for him, and to make him feel safe, a small part of me wanted to be selfish and indulge myself with the warm feeling overtaking me. 

I pulled away slowly, “I’ll go start the movie real quick.” I whispered, feeling like a volume any higher would break the moment. 

I went over to my collection of VHS tapes and picked out Back to the Future. Slipping the tape into my VHS player, I joined John on the couch once more. I glanced over at John, and bit my lip in thought. I could play it risky and offer to hold him…I mean he still seems a bit shaken and it’s totally not because I just want to…

I leaned against the arm of the couch, mindlessly watching the movie. I glanced at John once more and made up my mind. I tapped him on the shoulder, gaining his attention. I opened my arms once more. He was still slightly hesitant, but accepted the offer once more. This time I leaned back and he was laid on top of me. I went back to ‘watching’ the movie, hoping he wouldn’t say anything. I thanked God as he didn’t. The movie continued playing, but all I could focus on was the cute priest that I was currently holding. 

I hope that he couldn’t hear how fast my heart was beating, but his head was resting on my chest so I’m sure he could. I absentmindedly drew shapes over his spine as I tried to distract myself from how warm I felt. I didn’t even notice that he fell asleep until the movie ended. Once the credits rolled I looked down at John, only to find his eyes shut with a peaceful look on his face. I felt myself crumble at how…honored I felt that he trusted me this much. I resigned to being a pillow, trying to get more comfortable myself. I grabbed the throw blanket that was on the back of my couch and threw it over us.

If there is a God, I can’t help but thank him for bringing John into my life.

i don't know what autistic person needs to hear this but they are not watching you. the entire world is not constantly waiting for you to do something weird and laugh at you behind your back. you do not need to constantly self-police whenever there's the slightest chance another person might see you. you have a right to be your autistic self in public spaces. stop fighting yourself for their sake.

i’ll leave so many hickeys on him that he’ll have to wear a shirt at the beach

yknow AI art has ruined an entire genre of painting to me, i saw one of those smooth anime-realism pieces and immidiately thought ''ugh, AI art'' until i noticed it was posted by an established deviantart user 6 years ago. like ive never been a huge fan of that genre but it looks like a pretty difficult style to master and i feel bad for the artists who specialized in anime-realism only to have their entire market jacked by people typing keywords into midjourney.

O kay okay okayaoakayasysayas Since Rowan isn't going to be a LI can we please get his POV reaction (deep crush stage) of MC going over to him to tell him that MC is in love with one of the other ROs? Pleasee I need the angst and I love Rowan and am sad we won't be able to romance him!!

I was listening to favorite crime and kind of went a bit overboard. Please excuse this lengthy and angsty-ish drabble. Aha.... 🤒 ill keep it short next time

The soft notes of Rowan's guitar--affectionally dubbed 'Betty'--rises above his head, filling the silence of his hotel room. He strums aimlessly, absently, his fingers having a mind of their own as they move, creating a random melody that's oddly soothing. Or maybe it's the very essence of his guitar--he always feels more grounded, centered, with Betty in his hands.

Rowan's gaze remains unfocused as he plays, his head tilted, legs crossed on the balcony that overlooks the sleepy streets of their latest tour stop. A soft, pleasantly warm wind curls around the messy strands of his hair, locks sweeping across his forehead like a caressing hand. As the melody takes hold, going from mindless practice to something that sounds like it can be the bones of a real song, he closes his eyes.

Rowan has never been a good singer, but you don't need to be a good singer to make people feel something. He's learned that from the best of them.

I wonder if MC would like this.

The thought of his best friend makes a low groan sound in his throat, and with a huff he pauses the recording of his phone. Suddenly Betty's romantic notes feel like a taunt, a blade to his heart with every reminder of what he and MC are not. They're not together. They're not anything more than friends.

They're not what he wants them to be.

He knows he shouldn't feel this way about them. They're friends. They've been friends since he still thought fart jokes were funny and he had no bass in his voice. That's all they've always been and all they will be: friends.

The word has never sounded so terrible.

Still. If only...

His phone buzzes with a text and he sets Betty down. That blade in his heart only twists when he sees who it's from.

Of course. Did my thinking manifest them? The thought induces both a laugh and a sharp hint of misery from him.

He reads the text: Open your door.

He turns his upper-body to face his door, bursting up once the realization flows through him. He glances at himself in the mirror on his way there, making sure his pajamas are at least semi-presentable. It's MC; they've seen him in worst states, but level of comfortability changes when you want someone to see you in ways they've never seen you before.

In other words, he needs to look good.

Rowan heaves a breath before swinging open the door, remembering to keep the easy smile on his face. MC still looks good even at twelve a.m. after an entire day on the road. It's almost unfair.

"Heyyyy." He grins, trying to appear light. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

MC rolls their eyes. "You're not busy, are you?" They lean over to peek behind Rowan's shoulder, their eyes settling on an abandoned Betty. "Working on something?"

"Nah." He scratches his neck, self-concious. "Just fooling around. What, you need to talk about something?"

MC pushes past Rowan's shoulder to breeze inside, throwing themselves on the bed with a huff. "Iris and Devyn are out and I need to talk to someone."

Rowan takes a seat next to them, snorting. "So I'm the third choice?Wow."

They prop themselves up on their elbows, strands of hair falling in front of their face. Rowan has the terrible urge to lean over and push them away. "You're not exactly the 'serious talk' kind of person."

"Serious talk?" He gapes. "Yes, I am! I'm capable of being serious, you know. I'm not an asshole."

With a laugh, MC rolls over on their stomach and groans into Rowan's pillow. Now his curiosity is officially piqued. What could have MC so...like this?

"What's up?" Rowan's following laugh is both nervous and amused. "Did something happen with Seven?" Seven and MC have been a bit...all over the place since the beginning of the tour. He hardly knows what to call it. "Or did Orion lecture you again?" Orion is another one. That man has been relentless since tour started.

MC shoots him a look before sitting up, copying Rowan's position. His eyes flicker down to where their knees touch, to the proximity that's gone from the size of the bed to none at all.

They've been close like this before. No, scratch that. They've been closer, but this is different. This is different because everything is different.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" MC says, putting their hands on Rowan's.

He clears his throat, the skin under theirs burning with their touch. "Yeah...?"

"And we can tell each other everything?"

"Yeah." He quirks a brow at them, trying to stifle their humor. "Are you dying? Please don't tell me you're dying. You haven't even gotten rich yet to leave me anything in your will."

MC laughs but it comes out a bit uncertain. High-pitched. Rowan knows them. The same way he knows Iris and Devyn. He knows all of them like the back of his hand. So it only takes him another second to realize it.

MC is nervous.

His heart does a weird somersault in his gut.

"I have a secrettttt," MC sing-songs. Even as a joke they still manage to sing with perfect pitch.

The four words are enough to shake his very world, but he manages an eye roll. "Fucking hell, we're not twelve. Just spit it out."

"Sorry." MC palms their face, a nervous laugh escaping them. God. This must be serious for MC to be nervous in front of him? Rowan has never really gave anyone the impression of a harsh judge. Hell, he's always been an open book. "I just...I'm in love with [RO]."

He wished he didn't rush them. He wished he didn't hear those words at all. He's half tempted to grab it from the air and shove it back into MC's mouth so they can pretend it never happened.

"What?" is all the fuzz in his brain can spit out.

MC throws their self back, a wildly breathless laugh escaping them. The sound is even better than Betty's notes. "WHEW. That felt good to say it. Is anyone hot in here? I know I am."

MC keeps babbling but all Rowan could hear is a white noise in his head. MC is in love with RO. MC is in love with them.

MC is in love with someone that's not him.

"I just needed to let that out." MC huffs, gazing around the room. "You should invite me next time you play. You know I like seeing you finger Betty."

Rowan can't even laugh at the dirty inside joke they've had between them since he bought Betty years ago. It suddenly makes him feel wholly small and largely ridiculous: Rowan will never be the person for MC. He will always be the goofy best friend that makes stupid, childish jokes about fingering his dumbass guitar and the one MC goes to when Devyn and Iris aren't available.

He's not even the second choice. He's the fucking fourth.

As if noticing the change in atmosphere, MC awkwardly purses their lips and says, "I should probably get back to my room and get some sleep. We have an early start tomorrow."

He blinks, managing a small nod. "Uh-huh." He runs a hand through his hair, feeling naked without his hat. "Right."

They stand and shoot Rowan a final look. "Thank you," they say after. a moment, "for being my friend."

He's really starting to hate that word.

But he smiles anyway. "Yeah. Ditto."

MC grins, spinning on the heel of their foot to leave the room. Rowan follows, waving lamely at them and watching as they disappear down the hall, whistling a merry tune. It's true; it does feel like a weight was lifted of their shoulders. They walk with a hop in their step. Rowan hates knowing it was RO that is responsible for that.

With a sigh he closes the door, leaning his forward against it. Spinning on his shoulder, he looks up at the ceiling.

"I need to get laid," he mumbles.

Though he has a feeling that won't do much to solve the problem in his heart.

penid

[I.D. an edited pyramid graph of maslow's hierarchy of needs where large text covering every section of basic, psychological and self-fulfillment needs read "people online telling me they like the thing i made". end I.D.] (image description by @lemondoddle )

Random PNGs, part 197.

(1. Vintage glass raspberry brooch, 2. Opal snake head pendant, 3. Fenton glass basket, 4. "Fluid Rock 40" by Flavie Audie, 5. Iridescent glass beads (?), 6. Glass sculpture fish by Christina Bothwell, 7. Enoki mushrooms (?), 8. Smithsonite, 9. Sand dollar sculpture by George Hart)

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