The Walrus V Fairy Question Really Is A Perfect Example Of The Internet Argument. I've Been Reading A

A Gift From God — John Ward x gn! reader

summary: Reader is forced to go to church and ends up meeting one of the priests. They think nothing much of it until they run into him again, and something blossoms between them.

tw: Slight religious truama?? Like not in depth or anything. Hard not to mention religion when it comes to a game about a priest lmao

a/n: Okay, a couple things. 1. This is gender neutral, but I do use the term school girl crush. I think it can be a gender neutral term to describe the feeling of a person if you know what I mean. 2. I tried to leave the reader's religion up in the air (?) but you can tell it leans towards atheist viewpoint. I totally made the reader relatable to me and I myself am an atheist.

wc: 1.9k

Master List

Going to church wasn’t my cup of tea. Yet the money my grandma waved under my nose just to go to church with her was too tempting. Besides, I can tune out another service and make a good $30. It’ll help pay my bills anyways. I stared up at the stage, not really paying attention. Not until the other priest starts speaking and god damn, he’s cute as fuck. I can’t help but internally chuckle as my mind couldn’t help but ogle at him. I felt saddened by the fact that I didn’t get his name, but it was whatever. It’s not like anything was going to happen.

I wasn’t as down about the service since I had a cute priest I could daydream about. I was surprised I wasn’t burning from how my thoughts weren’t really as pure as they should be. Although I tried not to let my thoughts get too weird. Once the service ended, I got up with my grandparents and we exited the main room. My grandma asked me to wait in the hallway as they wanted to speak to the priests quickly. I agreed, although I felt like they were up to something. 

I awkwardly leaned against the wall as people all dressed to the nines walked past me. I nodded politely as they walked past. I fidgeted with my hands as soon only a few people lingered and I felt out of place. I really just wanted to get out of here and watch t.v. 

“Hello, you must be (y/n),” An unfamiliar voice spoke from my left. I turned to face the person only to feel my heart drop. It was the cute priest, and the fact that he not only knew my name, but was currently speaking to me was because of my grandparents. 

I gave him a strained smile, trying not to seem like I was dying inside, “Hello Father…”

“Ward,” He supplied his name for me, a more relaxed smile on his face. “How are you on this fine day?”

“I’m alright,” I shrugged, just wanting to get this over with. “How are you?”

“Good,” He nodded. “Your grandparents shared some concerns they have.”

I felt tense and looked to the side rolling my eyes, I couldn’t hide the disdain I clearly felt at that moment, “Well I’m sorry to waste your time Father, they tend to get paranoid.”

“They said you seem to stray from religion,” He continued, which caused my frown to grow. 

“Well, I’m still figuring things out,” I shrugged. “Don’t tell them I said that, they’ll go even crazier if they know I said that.”

Father Ward nodded and gently patted my shoulder, “We all go through trials of faith, if you ever have questions or need help, do not be afraid to come to me.”

I looked back towards the brunette priest and gave him a more genuine smile, “Thank you for respecting that. I’ll keep your offer in mind.”

With a nod he bid me farewell. Then my grandparents came back, seeming more cheerful than before. I knew that people who were religious weren’t all bad, my grandparents just ruined my view on religion. But perhaps a priest of all people can prove just how not all people are bad. Although I doubt I’ll see him again. 

Which I was wrong about. I did see him again, when I was out grocery shopping of all places. I was picking out some of my favorite fruit only to see a familiar priest in casual attire checking out some vegetables. Normally, I avoid people I’ve met before if I see them again. Seeing someone I’ve met only once before tends to make my anxiety go off. And I still felt anxiety pulse through me, but something in me told me to speak up. He was really nice when we talked, so it shouldn’t be too bad to just greet him in public.

“Uhm,” I stuttered out, immediately regretting whatever made me think this was a good idea. “H-hi?”

Father Ward, the only name I knew him by currently, looked up and towards me. Confusion, surprise, and then a warm look flashed over his features in that order, “Hello!”

I felt my brain race, not sure what to say now. Once again, I regret putting myself in this situation.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” I replied awkwardly. 

“Well, I don’t live in the church,” He chuckled.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “But it’s kinda like seeing a teacher outside of school if you know what I mean.”

He laughed a bit more at that and nodded, “I can see that.”

I cleared my throat, unsure how to end the conversation, “I’ll uh, leave you to it then. Sorry to bother you.”

“Not a bother at all,” He smiled warmly in response. “You’re doing well I hope?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, surprised that he was keeping the conversation going. “Just work all day and rest at home. How about you?”

“I could be doing better,” He admitted, not meeting my eyes. “But I won’t bore you about all that.”

I felt myself frown, I already felt myself grow attached to him. Which I knew was dumb, he was a priest, so of course he’s going to be friendly. But I didn’t interact with people outside of work much anymore so it was a nice breath of fresh air. It didn’t help that this interaction was humanizing him more than how I viewed him before, as a man of God that was perfect. 

“I don’t mind you sharing,” I said softly. “Although I doubt you’d want to tell me in a grocery store.” 

“I wouldn’t want to burden you with my problems,” Ward said with a grim smile. “Besides, we barely know each other. You don’t even know my first name.”

“Well,” I said a bit dumbly. “Then tell me.”

He hesitated, “John.”

“Nice to meet you John,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Maybe we could catch a movie or something and get to know each other better.”

That day, a relationship grew. We had a small home made dinner at my house and well…got to know each other better. After that, we’d hang out here and there. It was really nice. He was a sweet guy, although a bit disturbed. He opened up to me about his past. Not much, but I could piece things together. He told me he partook in an exorcism gone wrong, how after he wasn’t well mentally but got help and how he was better now. How he had a wife but they got divorced a few years ago, but how she wasn’t at fault, and he understands her reasoning.

So I did some research. I found out about Amy Martin, how she was now in psychiatric care, and how terrible the entire situation was. I knew that if John wanted to tell me his perspective of the event, he would in his own time, I don’t want to reopen any wounds. All I wished was to be a new support in John’s life, someone he knows he can lean on when he needs it.

One night, John and I planned on watching a movie, at my house he persisted. I didn’t mind. I made some popcorn, got some sweets I bought just for tonight, and set it all out on my coffee table. A knock on the door made me perk up and I got up to answer it right away. I smiled brightly as I saw John stand on the other side. His face showed relief and I immediately became worried. I noticed how he had dark circles under his eyes and my assumption was he must’ve had a nightmare again.

I ushered him in, asking if he wanted anything to drink, which he asked for some water. I got a glass of water as quickly as I could before walking back into my living room. He thanked me as I handed him the glass and I sat down next to him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly, hoping not to startle him into keeping to himself.

His blue eyes met mine, but looked away quickly after sipping some of the cold water. It was silent for a few seconds before he confessed, “I had another nightmare.”

I licked my lips, unsure of where to go from here. I’ve never been the best at comforting people. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He became tense and I knew that was the wrong thing to say, “I’d rather try and forget about it.”

I nodded in understanding, “Did you still want to watch a movie? We could do something else as well.”

“You seem to have put a lot of effort into our movie night,” John smiled shyly. “And with you by my side I feel better already.” 

I felt my heart skip a beat and I tried to act calm. I always found him attractive, but the more I got to know him, the harder I seemed to fall. I felt like a schoolgirl getting a crush, it was so embarrassing. I mean he was a priest after all, could he even date? I  mean he mentioned his ex-wife before, but I was still unsure about all that. He still seemed to really care for her after all. 

“Well I’m glad I can give you some form of comfort,” I smiled sheepishly back. “Need a hug?” I opened my arms at the invite, hoping I’m not coming off like an idiot. 

He hesitated once more, before slowly wrapping me in an embrace. I rubbed his back in a soothing manner. I felt myself melt into the hug, not used to being touched in such an affectionate manner. Though I reminded myself that this was for him, and to make him feel safe, a small part of me wanted to be selfish and indulge myself with the warm feeling overtaking me. 

I pulled away slowly, “I’ll go start the movie real quick.” I whispered, feeling like a volume any higher would break the moment. 

I went over to my collection of VHS tapes and picked out Back to the Future. Slipping the tape into my VHS player, I joined John on the couch once more. I glanced over at John, and bit my lip in thought. I could play it risky and offer to hold him…I mean he still seems a bit shaken and it’s totally not because I just want to…

I leaned against the arm of the couch, mindlessly watching the movie. I glanced at John once more and made up my mind. I tapped him on the shoulder, gaining his attention. I opened my arms once more. He was still slightly hesitant, but accepted the offer once more. This time I leaned back and he was laid on top of me. I went back to ‘watching’ the movie, hoping he wouldn’t say anything. I thanked God as he didn’t. The movie continued playing, but all I could focus on was the cute priest that I was currently holding. 

I hope that he couldn’t hear how fast my heart was beating, but his head was resting on my chest so I’m sure he could. I absentmindedly drew shapes over his spine as I tried to distract myself from how warm I felt. I didn’t even notice that he fell asleep until the movie ended. Once the credits rolled I looked down at John, only to find his eyes shut with a peaceful look on his face. I felt myself crumble at how…honored I felt that he trusted me this much. I resigned to being a pillow, trying to get more comfortable myself. I grabbed the throw blanket that was on the back of my couch and threw it over us.

If there is a God, I can’t help but thank him for bringing John into my life.

EVERYBODY GIVE A BIG SCREAM FOR KIMI HE IS THE REIGNING FIST FIGHT CHAMPION

[I.D. an edited pyramid graph of maslow's hierarchy of needs where large text covering every section of basic, psychological and self-fulfillment needs read "people online telling me they like the thing i made". end I.D.] (image description by @lemondoddle )

MAX VERSTAPPEN x MANEATER

Will it be enough for Lawson to challenge Verstappen for first-driver status at Red Bull Racing? Or will we see another driver falter in the face of the four-time champion’s generational talent? Only time will tell.

careless whisper fucks so insanely hard and i will never forgive the internet for making it a "meme song." tonight the music seems so loud i wish that we could lose this crowd maybe its better this way we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say. if you even care.

Traditional ant names

Traditional ant names are based on one ant virtue as the first name and one ant “intimidating quality” as the last name.

For example:

Temperance the Absconder

Proportionality the Relentless

Synchronicity the Amputator

Alacrity the Calculating

Efficiency the Eternal Witness

oh 🥹

↑ needy clingy obsessive faggot