Jason Todd Unique Second Child Privileges

"Haven't I given enough?"

Character: Jason Todd x Reader

Content: Hurt with comfort

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: First post?!? I've written a few of these and published them anonymously on AO3 but figured I'd give it a shot on here as well.

Jason was troubled. It was a label that others had branded him with, but one he never tried to deny either. He thought it was true. He was screwed up, his body marked by years of scars and his mind equally as traumatized with the kind of scars you couldn’t see but definitely knew were there. It didn’t mean he couldn’t be kind or gentle, especially to you, but sometimes, the only way he really knew how to cope was through doing something physical.

At first, that was running, or hitting something. Even going to the salvage yard outside of town to scream for a while. That’s what he had always done when things got really bad. Then, slowly he realized you’d be there and you could take him. Literally. You could tolerate him fucking all his stress out through you. Using you.

Sometimes he felt bad about it, but you always seemed so sure that it was okay. That even if he happened to leave bruises (like he usually did) they never hurt too bad. You enjoyed too, so he kept doing it. Not often, just on the particularly bad nights.

Nights like the one he just had.

When he slammed the door shut behind him all the lights were off in the apartment and he was worried you might have been asleep. He really hated the idea of waking you up, but God, he was so...unexplainably upset. Angry, frustrated, sad in ways his mind couldn’t quite comprehend.

His mind was a mess and to be completely honest, he was so worked up he couldn’t figure out what to do. Kicking something, screaming, maybe crying. No, definitely not crying. Even if he could feel a few tears pricking in the back of his eyes he choked them down, refuses to let them fall. Instead, he walked towards the bedroom, just hoping you were still awake.

You were, of course. But even if you had been asleep, the door slamming would have woken you up.

He pushed the door open and his expression immediately softened upon seeing you, sitting up in bed, wearing one of his shirts.

“You’re home late,” you remarked, closing your—his—book and setting it on the nightstand. “Did something happen?”

He knew you knew something was wrong. You could always tell. But you were too nice to outright tell him how shitty he looked and instead sat up even further, causing some of your hair to fall over your shoulder, grazing your collarbone.

“Nothing I want to talk about,” Jason replied. He hated talking about his feelings in general, but would do it occasionally, under the right circumstances. These were not them.

He kicked his shoes off by the bedroom door and started pulling his clothes off as he walked towards the bed, dropping his gloves on the floor alongside his pants and the rest of his things. He could see the shift in your demeanor; you knew what he wanted. To forget, to let you take away all of his anger and pain so he didn’t have to deal with it for the night. He wanted to get lost in you and forget about how bad everything hurt. Physically and emotionally.

He sat on the bed, instantly reaching for your face, pulling you towards him, kissing you harshly. His teeth scraped yours, noses bumping against each other as the tightness of his shoulder’s coiled further, the action seeming to make things worse. Still, he didn’t stop.

Jason pressed his other hand to the back of your head, pushing himself further into you as your hands instinctively began to roam his abdomen. “Bad night?” you mumbled just before he bit down on your lip, tearing a bit of skin.

“Bad night,” he responded succinctly, grabbing your waist, squeezing it tightly. His head was a jumble of loud thoughts, for some reason harder to ignore than usual but he kept trying.

Reaching for the bottom of your shirt, he pulled it up over your head you let him. To his dismay, you had a bra on under it, and panties too.

Wrapping your arms around his neck as he laid you down on the pillows, his body pressing into yours firmly as your lips locked again for a moment. Jason kissed down your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin eliciting a gasp.

For a split-second, the voices were quiet. They always were when he heard you moaning and whimpering or saying his name over and over. The pain always stayed though, but usually he could tolerate it if he just focused on the motions, on pushing you as deep into the mattress as possible, on rutting his hip into yours until he physically ached from something other than sore bones and old scars.

His hands groped the soft flesh of your waist and hips as he tugged at the top of your underwear, his hand slipping inside.

Jason froze.

His hand still in your underwear, his lips paused against your neck, breathing heavily as the heavy silence made his ears ring.

That had never happened before. Ever. But in that moment, he couldn’t think, couldn’t move.

He couldn’t do this with you, not tonight.

Quickly, he removed his hand, pushing himself off you until he was sitting up. He couldn’t breathe. The room suddenly felt a lot smaller than he always remembered it being. Had it always been so cramped? Or this hot, for that matter. Did you turn the heater up tonight?

Jason swallowed, his throat feeling dry and heart hammering in his chest. “I- I’m sorry,” he apologized as he got up. “I need to get some water.”

“Wait a minute-” you sat up as quickly as he had, grabbing his wrist. You knew he could easily pull away, but he didn’t. He didn’t turn to face you either, though. “What’s wrong?”

Jason’s chest heaved as he tried to breathe, it felt tight, it ached. He hated it. “I just can’t do that tonight,” he managed to say.

He remained—mostly—calm as he kept his eyes glued to the floor. He hated to envision the look on your face. Was it confusion? Was it anger? Something worse, like pity? He didn’t know which of those options seemed preferable.

“Okay,” you agreed easily, tugging on his wrist lightly. “We don’t have to do anything,” you assured him. “Just come lay down.”

He shook his head, swallowing again, his heart still thumping rapidly. “No- no I have stuff to do, I—”

“Jay,” you said calmly, the sound of his voice soothing him slightly. “You’ve been working all night and it’s late. Just lay down.”

Jason bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at the ground. He could feel it, the tears pricking in his eyes again. It had been like that all night and each time he kept pushing them down and now he heard your voice, so gentle and sweet and it made them reappear again.

He took a deep breath. You wouldn’t let this go. If he left the room, you’d follow him and stand with him in the kitchen while he drank his water. He didn’t want that. He wanted this day to be over as soon as humanly possible.

But... “I’m not tired,” was all that came out of his mouth.

Exhaling, Jason turned around, barely able to look at you. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you with your haired messed up and your neck covered in two or three small bruises on your neck, your chest falling and rising as you caught your breath as well.

Should he hand your shirt back? Apologize again? Leave?

Before he could decide, you were sitting up onto your knees, reaching for him, trying to pull him back towards the bed. Back towards you. He reluctantly let himself be moved, taking a heavy step closer, then another. He sat back down, his gaze falling to the blanket.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, even though you both knew it was futile. He shook his head, his jaw clenched tightly to remind himself to keep it together. At least in front of you. You held his hand, your thumb swiping over the back of his knuckle as you nodded slowly, taking your other hand and placing it on his shoulder. “Just lay down,” you suggested.

Jason nodded and tried to move to his side of the bed, but you wouldn’t let go of his hand. Instead, you gently pulled him forward, laying back down, insisting he follow. He hovered above you, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to hurt you.

“Lay down,” you repeated gently, your eyes softening even more.

“I don’t wanna crush you,” Jason confessed.

“You won’t,” you assured him.

He hesitantly lowered himself down, pressing more and more of his body weight against you. He could feel the mattress dipping as he did. He’d pushed you into it plenty of times, but not like this.

With his entire body weight on top of you, he exhaled, propping his chin on your chest, staring at you for a few seconds, not quite sure where else to look or what else to do with his hands or legs.

You fixed that.

Jason could feel you tangle your legs with his, wrapping your arms around him, one of your hands finding the locks of his hair to fuss with while the other traced random shapes on his shoulder.

Suddenly, the heat from before that felt like it was suffocating him evaporated, replaced by the warmth of your bare skin against him. He carefully wrapped his arms around you. He’d sure they would go numb soon, after all his entire weight, plus yours were laying on top of them now that they were under your back.

He wondered if that was uncomfortable for you, if maybe he should pull them away and just with them by his sides but before he could ask your hand was tugging at his hair, gently pressing his face into your neck. Not to kiss or mark it. Just to lay there, to breathe you in and hold you.

“I’ve got you,” you promised him, running your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

Jason nuzzled your neck slightly, inhaling deeply, the scent of you filling his senses. Before he knew what was happening, the tears in his eyes started to fall without warning.

He didn’t have the chance to fight them at first, a few dampening your neck, but the second he realized what was happening he pulled away, pressing his forehead against the valley of your breasts while taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “Sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. The sound was so pathetic it made him hate himself even more.

You shushed him gently, still playing with his hair as your other hand laid flat on his back. “It’s okay,” you assured. “You’re okay.”

That was the final straw, the supportive tone of your voice broke the dam he had built and his tears started to fall as he shook his head. “I’m not okay,” he confessed, his words spoken into your skin. “Nothing is okay.”

Your heart broke for him, feeling his grip on you tighten even more. You let your hand fall from his hair, wrapping around him, trying to pull him closer or at the very least keep him from leaving like you knew he was contemplating doing.

What could you say that would help? Nothing seemed good enough, so you just let him bury his face in your chest, holding him as he shook from the tears, muttering apologies and words of self-deprecation.

“I’m right here,” you swore. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. Not to me.”

Each word you spoke was like a dagger to his chest, the soft reassurance and whispered praise mixed with how firm your grip on him was made his chest swell as all the pain he refused to let himself feel hit him all at once with an overwhelming force.

Jason hated the burning in his chest, the sting in his eyes, the weakness he felt. Most of all, he hated feeling all of this in front of you. But more than that, he refused to pull away or deprive himself of your touch. He needed it to damn badly. It was the only thing keeping him afloat most days.

“It hurts,” he told you. “So badly. All the time.”

Your arms tightened around him again as you tried to keep yourself from crying with him, the sound of his sobs escaping making your heart hurt more with each failed attempt to make himself stop.

“Let it,” you breathed, resting your jaw on the top of his head as he hid his face in your breasts. “Just for tonight.”

Feeling the pain seemed like a foreign concept to him, but you made it sound so appealing, to just let himself feel weak. Just this once. Just for tonight. He could do that. The only reason why was because you were holding him, comforting him as the pain in his chest grew and grew until he was nearly hyperventilating.

Once again, you were shushing him, your hand softly stroking his hair. “Breathe,” you murmured, inhaling deeply, hoping he could feel it while laying on you. “I know it’s hard, I know it hurts. Just breathe.”

Jason sniffled, taking a shaky breath, timing it at the same time as your own deep inhale and holding a few seconds like you did before exhaling.

“Again,” you whispered, your nails trailing up and down his spine in a soothing motion. He listened and you could feel his body calming down just a little. “Just like that.”

His continued to cry, this time much softer. Like a residual that he needed to get out. Your skin now wet with his tears, but it didn’t matter much.

You placed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you,” came out in a small whisper as you nuzzled the dark locks of his hair. “So much.”

Jason sniffled again, lifting his head to look at you. He was ashamed to. He felt weak and pathetic and hated to think of you seeing him like that, but he needed to say something and he needed to see your dace when he did.

You could see the redness in his eyes, a stark contrast to the dark purple circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. His nightmares had been particularly bad lately, no doubt contributing to the mountain of problems that led to his breakdown.

“I don’t know how you can love me when I’m this messed up,” he confessed, his voice sounding vulnerable and raw from crying.

You pushed the white streak in his hair away from his face, gently running the back of your knuckles over his cheek. “Everyone is messed up, baby,” you told him quietly. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason’s hands had gone numb underneath your back, so he couldn’t feel them, but he was fairly certain he was trying to squeeze you harder. That’s what he thought he’d be doing, at least.

He dropped his head, kissing the middle of your clavicle where your collarbones met. Just once. Softly. He could the salt from his tears on your skin and it made them prick in his eyes again. He didn’t fight them as hard this time.

Laying his head in between your breasts, he inhaled and exhaled, closing his eyes. Another tear rolled down his cheek and he let it, choosing to instead focusing on the feeling of your skin. Your bare stomach against his, your arms around him, your nails scratching his scalp and back.

This wasn’t what he wanted when came home tonight. But falling asleep in your arms, using your chest as a pillow, listening the sound of your heartbeat and feeling the steady rhythm of your breathing was so much better.

Beach Walk

Pairing : Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x F!reader

Summary: You can plan all you want, but half of the time they will never work out. Sequel to Under the lemon tree  and On a date

Part of the Memory in a Fragrance series

Warning : T-M rating. Fluff.

Series masterlist

Master list

Kyle Garrick is a planner. AND Kyle GAZ Garrick is a METICULOUS planner. 

This is why he is the best of the best. The record holder. Being mentored by the legendary Captain Johnathan Price. 

But his experiences and planning never prepared him for this question.

“... What is that bulge in your pants Kyle?”

Shit.

“You want to propose to her?” Price cocked an eyebrow, surprise evident on his face. 

Gaz nodded his head, shyly. “I thought it’s about time..” Looking down at his cup of tea. “I just want a bit of an opinion on how you guys did it..”

“Well, that I can give you a bit of advice on. First you need to get a ring…” “Soap. You blurted your proposal out of the blue. You didn’t even have a ring picked out. You didn’t even plan for anything.” Simon interjected. 

Soap shot Simon a look. “But it still got the job done, right?” 

“Can’t argue with that.” Simon grumbled. 

“Yours isn’t that much better.” Soap countered. “All you did was slam the ring box on the table and asked my sister to marry you.”

“Got the job done, right?” Throwing Soap’s argument right back at him, Simon smirked. 

Shaking his head, not getting any help from his two teammates, he turned towards his captain. 

Before he could open his mouth and ask, he heard a voice chiming in. 

“Don’t bother asking him. He wasn’t any better than Sergeant Soap.”  Chameleon laughed, moving from the door towards Price’s desk, she put his cup of tea down onto his desk. 

“Thanks love.” Price grumbled, “At least I had a ring picked out.” 

“That you did.” She leaned down and gave her husband a kiss on the head before turning back to Gaz. 

“Last I heard she had been wanting to go to the beach.” she hinted. “She always says you do the best picnic dates. So,” pointing to Gaz, “don’t screw this up.”

Your eyes brightened up when Gaz suggested a weekend getaway and picnic by the seaside. 

“I haven’t been to the beach in a few years!” you smiled, “We used to spend a few days there, after the mountain camping trip, where I met you.” you noted shyly. “But I haven't been there much since I moved away from home to study, and started working.. OH I am so excited!”

And now his plan has fallen apart. Running through plan A to Z. Nothing in those scenarios helps to answer the question you just asked him.

“Um.” He flustered. Think of something Kyle. THINK. “Just rubbish I found on the beach.” 

Pointing towards the bin a few metres away, “The rubbish bin is over there.” 

“Uh, it’s recyclable. Don’t want to throw it into general waste.” You pointed towards the bin right beside it, “Recycle bin is over there.” 

Fuck. That didn’t work. “ uh, It was an interesting shape of rubbish, I want to take it home and put it on my shelf.” He knew it was a bad idea to keep the ring box in his pants. But he didn’t want to leave it in the car or in the picnic basket where you can accidentally spot it or some random stranger or possible thieves to steal it. So the best option? Keeping it in his pocket while the two of you stroll down the beach.

“Kyle, you need to tidy up your study, you have too many things that you need to put away in there!!” you quipped.  “Come on, show me what it is. I want to see how interesting it is..” your hand reaches for his pocket, ready to take out the box he is hiding in there.

‘No. Nonono. No. Um. NO.” he grabbed your hand with a fast reflex, stopping you before you could reach it. 

“Kyle Garrick, what are you hiding from me?” your lips turn down into a frown. “You've been acting all strange for the last few weeks after you suggested the trip.” looking down at the ground, you started to kick sand around,“ you didn’t want to go swim in the sea, or even go near the water.” you looked back up into his eyes, eyes glittering with tears, “did you change your mind? Something is bothering you?” Did you change your mind about us? The hidden undertone and disappointment is evident within your voice.

His mouth went dry with the strong salty sea breeze blowing past, carrying a whiff of your citrus perfume that you love so much and the slight coconut scent sunscreen you insisted on applying.

“Don’t think you are in the UK and you won’t get sunburnt.” You chidded and started blabbering about facts on skin cancer etc as you smear on layers and layers of sunscreen onto his body. 

Now that sunscreen is making his hand sticky and slippery as he sweats with nervousness. Making him look more guilty. He couldn’t really explain to you he was scared to go into water before so his pants wouldn’t get wet and make the ring box more evident, or in that slim possible chance that the ring get washed away and disappear into the sea???

Taking a big gulp, he whispered,“Well, technically I am hiding something from you..” 

You look like you were about to burst into tears, he hastily kneeled down on one knee.

Plans be damned. For once in his life he will just wing it. 

“I.. I had all these things planned out.” he took a deep breath as he launch into his impromptu speech, “step by step, down to the tiniest details.” he did a nervous chuckle as you clench his hand tight, “ But, like the previous two times, you came crashing into my life,throwing me off unexpectedly,  giving me surprises after surprises.” he can feel himself trembling as he takes out the box from the pocket, where he has been hiding the ring.

“My darling, my first and only love. The beautiful girl with innocent eyes and the sweetest temper who had captured my heart.” You gasped out loud as you realise what is he about to do.

“I have been in love with you since the first time we ever met as a child. Right under that lemon tree.” his voice wavering, trying hard not to break down with high emotion.

“You have always been in the back of my mind. All those years. And I am so glad fate gave us another chance. Finding each other again. Although I failed to recognise you at first at our second meeting,” letting out a small chuckle.

“Can I be that lucky person, to spend the rest of my life with you? To be that person you see when you open your eyes first thing in the morning, and for you to give me goodnight kisses before I go to sleep at night, to remind me how fortunate and thankful that I have you. My forever love."

You couldn’t even let out a coherent response, just nodding your head furiously as you throw yourself at Kyle, arms around him tight as you start to cry, with happiness.

Both of you sank down into the sandy beach, with Gaz in relief everything worked out at the end, and with you finally find out why he is acting all weird for weeks.

And all of sudden both of you hear people clapping and whistling, shouting out congratulating words.

You buried your face into his neck, in embarrassment. 

“Oh gosh…”

“Oh dear.. Didn’t expect to have audiences gathering…” Gaz chuckled nervously. “Sorry, that was not part of my plan either..”

You let out a little sobbing laugh, “Always a planner.” ‘

“I sure am. But it didn't quite work out this time round.” pulling away from you slightly, he moved his hand to cup your face, “but I am glad it all worked out at the end. I love you, my darling.Thank you for everything.”

“I love you too Kyle.” Leaning into his forehead. “Now we have the rest of our lives to look forward to.” 

“So,I heard you had to wing it at the end aye?”

“Shut up Soap. At least I did have plans beforehand. It half worked.”

“Sure. Whatever you say…” 

partly based on how my friend's husband proposed to her. he kept refusing to go into the ocean because he had the rings in his pocket.....

Tag list :

@deadbranch

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@voxyin

@lia0-0

@floral-force

@saltofmercury

@siilvan

@rileyslibrarian

@mistydeyes

@okayyadriana

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

@jynxmirage

@nrdmssgs @schr-torta @glitterypirateduck @devcica @cumikering @roosterr

@groguspicklejar

@obsolescent @whydoilikewhump

Jason but he wears this helmet 😼

Me all the time 2

Me: I ship A with B

Me: I ship A with C too

Me: B with C isn’t that bad either

Me: But you know what is the best?

Me: Ship another pair!

My Brain: Do a love tringle!

Me: …

My Brain: …

Me: Why are you like this?

under the red hood

you rarely call price by his first name. it's usually just a very cheery cap! or a stoic price when you need to remind him of the objective, but whenever you do call him john—you tried jonathan once as a joke, and the piercing stare he gave you made that the first and last time—it's warm, earnest. you almost seem shy uttering it, judging by the softness of your voice, but he calms your nerves with a fond look and an affectionate squeeze on the back of your neck.

getting the privilege of calling soap by his first name, let alone johnny, was an accomplishment in itself. you noticed how ghost was the only one who called him johnny, and so you took that as a sign to never refer to him as anything other than his ridiculous callsign and occasionally an incredulous bloody hell, mactavish, whenever he says something outrageous.

until you did slip up one night, but soap didn't seem to mind too much. he quite liked how his first name sounded in your voice, and when he offered you to call him johnny instead, which you mumbled under your breath to test it out, his surprised expression morphed into a genuine smile, one so pretty a rush of energy zipped through you. now, he won't let you call him anything except johnny—pretty much threatens you.

gaz was the first one on the team who allowed you to call him by his first name. hearing you mumble a tired morning, kyle or a warning but unserious kylie... when he's being a little shit makes his day a little brighter. you'd think the two of you were good mates with many years of friendship under your belts with the way you mock and poke at each other—especially when he lets you get away with calling him the most ridiculous pet names, like pookie, of all things.

while you seem to maintain good relations with your team, close ones even, there's just one person who stumps you. one big, enigmatic bastard who gives you creepy looks and speaks in nothing but cryptic language.

it honestly feels like your lieutenant dislikes you; no wonder you're still stuck with calling him by his callsign.

(poor ghost has been waiting for weeks for those plush lips of yours to utter his name. not ghost, not lieutenant or sir, but simon.

it's getting painful how oblivious you are to his attempts at giving you the green light to use his first name; the hard stare he gives you after hearing yet another formal greeting fall from your lips only seems to make you straighten up even more, and the annoyance radiating off of him every time you call him ghost scares you further away from him.

you're so formal with him, and he doesn't know what else to do—he just wants to be called a cute stupid nickname, too.)

*slams door open*

i heard you can find good angst fics

Got anything in particular? I’ve got lists of:

Donnie angst

2012 and 2018 Leo Angst

Raph Angst

Mikey suffering

Mind control angst and 2018 Donnie angst (it was an open-ended ask)

Foot Leonardo

(I’ve also got these on Tumblr, but I’m linking you to Ao3 because I find it more convenient)

If you have something specific in mind, let me know!

Familiar Touches

These were meant to be short headcanons, but then I thought, what if I just kept talking ~1k words

Jason tends to find himself averse to touch. He curls away from pats to his shoulders, stiffens at nudges to his arms, or brushes against his sides. From family to friends, it takes a long time for him to learn to relax into hugs, to not expect a knife in the back the second he lowers his guard.

But none of this is true when it comes to you. You, he can't get enough of. You, who he tears down his walls for without a hint of regret. (Because any pain would be worth it, as long as he can stay near you)

Jason is still learning to soften his edges, to drain the tension from his shoulders even when the two of you are alone. But there's some things he's already learned to love, some things that he lets himself bask in. And, namely, it's your touch. He has his favorites, the moments he can't get enough of, even if he can't admit it outloud.

He revels in the times you thread your fingers through his hair, slowly and mindlessly scratching at the base of his scalp. You tangle your hand in his soft, unkempt locks, and if he's lucky, you'll lightly and thoughtlessly pull this way and that while you watch whatever's playing on the tv. He goes a little weak in the knees every time, especially if you start to try and twist the strands in short, messy braids.

He adores when you fidget with his hands, bending his fingers and tracing the lines of his palms as you talk. It sends shivers down his spine in a way he can't describe, makes his stomach flip, and his heart skip a beat.

It's just so you. He finds himself curling his fingers with yours all the time, just for the off chance it reminds you that you can fiddle with his hands, his clothes, his hair– anything that's his– whenever you want.

Jason's found that he's developed a soft spot for holding you– or being held by you, depending on the day. Really any form of being wrapped around each other works for him, but he loves hooking his arms around your waist and hiding his face in your chest, just blocking out the rest of the world with the sound of your heart beat.

He loves coming up behind you, dragging his lips from the spot behind your ear that makes your breath hitch to the base of your throat to suck a bruise over your pulse, all while having his arms wound tightly around your middle, keeping you against his chest while you laugh and squirm.

He melts, inside and out, when you settle in his lap or throw your legs over his, your weight welcomed and warm as he tries not to show just how much his eyes want to light up– all because you're near him. It's grounding, connecting, to have you so close.

He'll indulge himself, sometimes. Let his hands wander to the back of your thighs, knead his fingers on your calves, drag his palms over your sides, and just linger in the feel of your skin.

He loves it– loves you– especially when you're the one who initiates it, when you're the one who drapes yourself over him like he belongs to you. (Because he does)

He prolongs the moments where he can press his forehead to yours, close his eyes, and just breathe in time with the rise and fall of your chest. He holds his palms against your face, wonders if it's all a dream when your hands gently grab at his wrist, your thumbs moving rhythmically back and forth over his pulse.

Jason wants nothing more than to stay like that for the rest of his life, every nerve and every cell of his attuned to you and the way you press into him in return.

He's really not picky, when it comes to being able to touch you, to letting you touch him. He looks forward to it, cherishes the memories of your soft skin, and even softer smiles, especially when he's away from you and on patrol.

He smiles to thoughts of you tucking your hands in the pockets of his hoodies, claiming it's warmer this way. He softens at memories of you hooking his arm with yours, insisting it's only because if you slip on ice, then he's going down with you.

He savors every touch, every passing contact he has with you. But Jason does, if you pick and tease at him enough to get him to admit it, have a touch he prefers above all the others.

Kissing you, stealing the air from your lungs as your eyes flutter shut, is the touch that he can never get enough of. Your fingers fisted into his clothes, his hand on the small of your back, drawing you closer, closer, those are the times he treasures the most, the memories he holds so tightly in his heart.

Kissing you, so lost in the feel of your mouth slotted against his and the smell of your scent filling his senses, quickly becomes something he can't live without.

He's gotten good at stealing kisses, quick and no-so-quick moments where he can't tell where he ends, and you begin. He's gotten even better at convincing you to duck into alleys and closets with him, all for an extra minute to be pressed together, so lost in each other that nothing else seems to exist.

He's enamored by you– by all of it. He didn't know he could so easily lean into someone else's touch, find refuge in a hug or a fleeting brush of your fingers over his knuckles. But he knows now, knows that everything he's ever wanted– could ever need– all comes down to you and the way you hold him close. Like he's something worth keeping.

And at the end of it all, it's a feeling Jason wants to fight for, a dream he'll never stop chasing, a cherished moment he wants to hold in the palms of his hands for the rest of his days.

Yes, thank you, for realizing that Zhongli is stupidly handsome, but how are those thoughts going to help him here when Zhongli’s in Childe’s bed?

(The Autumn Winds are Sighing, Chapter 7)

I absolutely adore @bgtea‘s Genshin Impact fic on AO3 and highly recommend giving it a read if you like ChiLi/Zhongchi or in-depth writing in general 🙏 I’m really bad at writing reviews where I don’t ramble when addressing each moment from each chapter that I love. But here’s my attempt to convey my feelings through a visual format  (this is just 1 out of so many scenes I loved) </3

"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?