Priority One

"Haven't I given enough?"

Character: Jason Todd x Reader

Content: Hurt with comfort

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: First post?!? I've written a few of these and published them anonymously on AO3 but figured I'd give it a shot on here as well.

Jason was troubled. It was a label that others had branded him with, but one he never tried to deny either. He thought it was true. He was screwed up, his body marked by years of scars and his mind equally as traumatized with the kind of scars you couldn’t see but definitely knew were there. It didn’t mean he couldn’t be kind or gentle, especially to you, but sometimes, the only way he really knew how to cope was through doing something physical.

At first, that was running, or hitting something. Even going to the salvage yard outside of town to scream for a while. That’s what he had always done when things got really bad. Then, slowly he realized you’d be there and you could take him. Literally. You could tolerate him fucking all his stress out through you. Using you.

Sometimes he felt bad about it, but you always seemed so sure that it was okay. That even if he happened to leave bruises (like he usually did) they never hurt too bad. You enjoyed too, so he kept doing it. Not often, just on the particularly bad nights.

Nights like the one he just had.

When he slammed the door shut behind him all the lights were off in the apartment and he was worried you might have been asleep. He really hated the idea of waking you up, but God, he was so...unexplainably upset. Angry, frustrated, sad in ways his mind couldn’t quite comprehend.

His mind was a mess and to be completely honest, he was so worked up he couldn’t figure out what to do. Kicking something, screaming, maybe crying. No, definitely not crying. Even if he could feel a few tears pricking in the back of his eyes he choked them down, refuses to let them fall. Instead, he walked towards the bedroom, just hoping you were still awake.

You were, of course. But even if you had been asleep, the door slamming would have woken you up.

He pushed the door open and his expression immediately softened upon seeing you, sitting up in bed, wearing one of his shirts.

“You’re home late,” you remarked, closing your—his—book and setting it on the nightstand. “Did something happen?”

He knew you knew something was wrong. You could always tell. But you were too nice to outright tell him how shitty he looked and instead sat up even further, causing some of your hair to fall over your shoulder, grazing your collarbone.

“Nothing I want to talk about,” Jason replied. He hated talking about his feelings in general, but would do it occasionally, under the right circumstances. These were not them.

He kicked his shoes off by the bedroom door and started pulling his clothes off as he walked towards the bed, dropping his gloves on the floor alongside his pants and the rest of his things. He could see the shift in your demeanor; you knew what he wanted. To forget, to let you take away all of his anger and pain so he didn’t have to deal with it for the night. He wanted to get lost in you and forget about how bad everything hurt. Physically and emotionally.

He sat on the bed, instantly reaching for your face, pulling you towards him, kissing you harshly. His teeth scraped yours, noses bumping against each other as the tightness of his shoulder’s coiled further, the action seeming to make things worse. Still, he didn’t stop.

Jason pressed his other hand to the back of your head, pushing himself further into you as your hands instinctively began to roam his abdomen. “Bad night?” you mumbled just before he bit down on your lip, tearing a bit of skin.

“Bad night,” he responded succinctly, grabbing your waist, squeezing it tightly. His head was a jumble of loud thoughts, for some reason harder to ignore than usual but he kept trying.

Reaching for the bottom of your shirt, he pulled it up over your head you let him. To his dismay, you had a bra on under it, and panties too.

Wrapping your arms around his neck as he laid you down on the pillows, his body pressing into yours firmly as your lips locked again for a moment. Jason kissed down your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin eliciting a gasp.

For a split-second, the voices were quiet. They always were when he heard you moaning and whimpering or saying his name over and over. The pain always stayed though, but usually he could tolerate it if he just focused on the motions, on pushing you as deep into the mattress as possible, on rutting his hip into yours until he physically ached from something other than sore bones and old scars.

His hands groped the soft flesh of your waist and hips as he tugged at the top of your underwear, his hand slipping inside.

Jason froze.

His hand still in your underwear, his lips paused against your neck, breathing heavily as the heavy silence made his ears ring.

That had never happened before. Ever. But in that moment, he couldn’t think, couldn’t move.

He couldn’t do this with you, not tonight.

Quickly, he removed his hand, pushing himself off you until he was sitting up. He couldn’t breathe. The room suddenly felt a lot smaller than he always remembered it being. Had it always been so cramped? Or this hot, for that matter. Did you turn the heater up tonight?

Jason swallowed, his throat feeling dry and heart hammering in his chest. “I- I’m sorry,” he apologized as he got up. “I need to get some water.”

“Wait a minute-” you sat up as quickly as he had, grabbing his wrist. You knew he could easily pull away, but he didn’t. He didn’t turn to face you either, though. “What’s wrong?”

Jason’s chest heaved as he tried to breathe, it felt tight, it ached. He hated it. “I just can’t do that tonight,” he managed to say.

He remained—mostly—calm as he kept his eyes glued to the floor. He hated to envision the look on your face. Was it confusion? Was it anger? Something worse, like pity? He didn’t know which of those options seemed preferable.

“Okay,” you agreed easily, tugging on his wrist lightly. “We don’t have to do anything,” you assured him. “Just come lay down.”

He shook his head, swallowing again, his heart still thumping rapidly. “No- no I have stuff to do, I—”

“Jay,” you said calmly, the sound of his voice soothing him slightly. “You’ve been working all night and it’s late. Just lay down.”

Jason bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at the ground. He could feel it, the tears pricking in his eyes again. It had been like that all night and each time he kept pushing them down and now he heard your voice, so gentle and sweet and it made them reappear again.

He took a deep breath. You wouldn’t let this go. If he left the room, you’d follow him and stand with him in the kitchen while he drank his water. He didn’t want that. He wanted this day to be over as soon as humanly possible.

But... “I’m not tired,” was all that came out of his mouth.

Exhaling, Jason turned around, barely able to look at you. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you with your haired messed up and your neck covered in two or three small bruises on your neck, your chest falling and rising as you caught your breath as well.

Should he hand your shirt back? Apologize again? Leave?

Before he could decide, you were sitting up onto your knees, reaching for him, trying to pull him back towards the bed. Back towards you. He reluctantly let himself be moved, taking a heavy step closer, then another. He sat back down, his gaze falling to the blanket.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, even though you both knew it was futile. He shook his head, his jaw clenched tightly to remind himself to keep it together. At least in front of you. You held his hand, your thumb swiping over the back of his knuckle as you nodded slowly, taking your other hand and placing it on his shoulder. “Just lay down,” you suggested.

Jason nodded and tried to move to his side of the bed, but you wouldn’t let go of his hand. Instead, you gently pulled him forward, laying back down, insisting he follow. He hovered above you, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to hurt you.

“Lay down,” you repeated gently, your eyes softening even more.

“I don’t wanna crush you,” Jason confessed.

“You won’t,” you assured him.

He hesitantly lowered himself down, pressing more and more of his body weight against you. He could feel the mattress dipping as he did. He’d pushed you into it plenty of times, but not like this.

With his entire body weight on top of you, he exhaled, propping his chin on your chest, staring at you for a few seconds, not quite sure where else to look or what else to do with his hands or legs.

You fixed that.

Jason could feel you tangle your legs with his, wrapping your arms around him, one of your hands finding the locks of his hair to fuss with while the other traced random shapes on his shoulder.

Suddenly, the heat from before that felt like it was suffocating him evaporated, replaced by the warmth of your bare skin against him. He carefully wrapped his arms around you. He’d sure they would go numb soon, after all his entire weight, plus yours were laying on top of them now that they were under your back.

He wondered if that was uncomfortable for you, if maybe he should pull them away and just with them by his sides but before he could ask your hand was tugging at his hair, gently pressing his face into your neck. Not to kiss or mark it. Just to lay there, to breathe you in and hold you.

“I’ve got you,” you promised him, running your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

Jason nuzzled your neck slightly, inhaling deeply, the scent of you filling his senses. Before he knew what was happening, the tears in his eyes started to fall without warning.

He didn’t have the chance to fight them at first, a few dampening your neck, but the second he realized what was happening he pulled away, pressing his forehead against the valley of your breasts while taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “Sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. The sound was so pathetic it made him hate himself even more.

You shushed him gently, still playing with his hair as your other hand laid flat on his back. “It’s okay,” you assured. “You’re okay.”

That was the final straw, the supportive tone of your voice broke the dam he had built and his tears started to fall as he shook his head. “I’m not okay,” he confessed, his words spoken into your skin. “Nothing is okay.”

Your heart broke for him, feeling his grip on you tighten even more. You let your hand fall from his hair, wrapping around him, trying to pull him closer or at the very least keep him from leaving like you knew he was contemplating doing.

What could you say that would help? Nothing seemed good enough, so you just let him bury his face in your chest, holding him as he shook from the tears, muttering apologies and words of self-deprecation.

“I’m right here,” you swore. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. Not to me.”

Each word you spoke was like a dagger to his chest, the soft reassurance and whispered praise mixed with how firm your grip on him was made his chest swell as all the pain he refused to let himself feel hit him all at once with an overwhelming force.

Jason hated the burning in his chest, the sting in his eyes, the weakness he felt. Most of all, he hated feeling all of this in front of you. But more than that, he refused to pull away or deprive himself of your touch. He needed it to damn badly. It was the only thing keeping him afloat most days.

“It hurts,” he told you. “So badly. All the time.”

Your arms tightened around him again as you tried to keep yourself from crying with him, the sound of his sobs escaping making your heart hurt more with each failed attempt to make himself stop.

“Let it,” you breathed, resting your jaw on the top of his head as he hid his face in your breasts. “Just for tonight.”

Feeling the pain seemed like a foreign concept to him, but you made it sound so appealing, to just let himself feel weak. Just this once. Just for tonight. He could do that. The only reason why was because you were holding him, comforting him as the pain in his chest grew and grew until he was nearly hyperventilating.

Once again, you were shushing him, your hand softly stroking his hair. “Breathe,” you murmured, inhaling deeply, hoping he could feel it while laying on you. “I know it’s hard, I know it hurts. Just breathe.”

Jason sniffled, taking a shaky breath, timing it at the same time as your own deep inhale and holding a few seconds like you did before exhaling.

“Again,” you whispered, your nails trailing up and down his spine in a soothing motion. He listened and you could feel his body calming down just a little. “Just like that.”

His continued to cry, this time much softer. Like a residual that he needed to get out. Your skin now wet with his tears, but it didn’t matter much.

You placed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you,” came out in a small whisper as you nuzzled the dark locks of his hair. “So much.”

Jason sniffled again, lifting his head to look at you. He was ashamed to. He felt weak and pathetic and hated to think of you seeing him like that, but he needed to say something and he needed to see your dace when he did.

You could see the redness in his eyes, a stark contrast to the dark purple circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. His nightmares had been particularly bad lately, no doubt contributing to the mountain of problems that led to his breakdown.

“I don’t know how you can love me when I’m this messed up,” he confessed, his voice sounding vulnerable and raw from crying.

You pushed the white streak in his hair away from his face, gently running the back of your knuckles over his cheek. “Everyone is messed up, baby,” you told him quietly. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason’s hands had gone numb underneath your back, so he couldn’t feel them, but he was fairly certain he was trying to squeeze you harder. That’s what he thought he’d be doing, at least.

He dropped his head, kissing the middle of your clavicle where your collarbones met. Just once. Softly. He could the salt from his tears on your skin and it made them prick in his eyes again. He didn’t fight them as hard this time.

Laying his head in between your breasts, he inhaled and exhaled, closing his eyes. Another tear rolled down his cheek and he let it, choosing to instead focusing on the feeling of your skin. Your bare stomach against his, your arms around him, your nails scratching his scalp and back.

This wasn’t what he wanted when came home tonight. But falling asleep in your arms, using your chest as a pillow, listening the sound of your heartbeat and feeling the steady rhythm of your breathing was so much better.

Speaking about TMNT 2012 fanfics i want to recommend some fanfics i really like:

The Brotherly moments one shots trilogy by Leah by Micheangelo.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10607108/1/Brotherly-Blunders

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11664334/1/Brotherly-Bonds

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12119513/1/Brotherly-Baggage

These contain more than 60 one shots of TMNT 2012 that take place in different moments of the series. Some are heartwarming, others are more angst. The writing overall is good. There are some one shots that are better than others though. Really worth of reading.

TMNT- Shell shots by CJ thestoryteller

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12134251/1/TMNT-Shell-Shots

Another tmnt 2012 one shots collection.I can´t recommend this author enough-They are able to capture the characters and their relationships in a way i haven´t seen other fanfic authors to do. Their writing is fantastic to the point this could have been easily been scenes in the series. I also like how they develop aspects of Donnie´s character that the series didn´t explore too much.

¨Speak No Evil¨ by Silvermoontwentyseven

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11122425/1/Speak-No-Evil

This is a tmnt 2012 AU about Slash kidnapping Leo in the ending of ¨Slash and Destroy¨ and Raphael trying to rescue his brother. It´s a very angst and dramatic story. It contains graphic violent scenes and torture scenes, i wouldn´t recommend to read it if you are sensible to that type of content, Besides that, it´s a really good AU.

¨Striction¨ by emmals16

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12245665/1/Striction

Similar to the fanfic above, Striction is about Leo and Raph getting lost in the sewers after they are separated from the team thanks to a big explosion. Leo is very hurt and Raph does everything he can to help his brother with getting back home. It has tons of angst moments but it isn´t as graphic as Speak No Evil. It´s one of the best TMNT 2012 fanfics i have read, in my opinion.

what would a drinking contest with the bois look like?

Unforgettable

So Simon Riley is THE strict daddy dom and he flourishes in that role. There’s no one made for it quite like him.

But our baby is traumatized, folks.

He’s seen things that no one would ever want to have seen. And that leaves scars. And with how he treats you in the bedroom (with your enthusiastic consent) sometimes his feelings will come forward in an unexpected way.

You were both breathing heavily, coming down from an intense session, neither of you able to move quite yet in order to get cleaned up.

After a minute you were once more in your body and you look over to Simon to check in. He’s normally up before you, getting the washcloth, holding a cup of water for you to drink, soft touches brushing over any lingering marks, sweet words being murmured.

To your surprise he’s still in the same position, breath continuing slightly too fast to be normal. Simon? Hesitantly, your hand stretches across the bed to rest your fingertips on his wrist, your touch as soft as possible.

You know for sure something is wrong when he pulls back from your touch, as if ashamed.

Simon, sweetheart, is everything okay? When there’s no response you switch tactics. Scooting as close as you dared while still not touching him, you begin to talk.

‘You did so great for me baby and no one is mad at you. You were absolutely perfect.’ ‘You made me feel so good and gave me exactly what i wanted.’ ‘You’re so good to me sweetheart. You’re SO good.’ ‘Can i touch you?’

When he finally nods, his breathing becoming steadier as you ramble soothing affirmations, you don’t waste any time before placing your hand gently on his wrist. You start stoking back and forth, dragging your fingers and palm along his forearm.

There we go, love. Everything is gonna be okay. I loved every part of that and i love every part of you okay?

When he finally moves its to pull you to his chest, your face tucked into his shoulder before he rolls over you, cocooning you in his arms, sandwiched between his body and the bed. His arms tighten around you before he lets out a shaky breath and settles in for the next little bit, still focusing on your soothing words and your hands stroking his back softly.

He’s so strong for you, all the time. And every once in a while you get to be strong for him, too.

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Late night secret

I feel terrible but I still have my fav character

Gaz is in the 141. Not könig or keegan. Its gaz. Price, ghost, soap and Gaz. Pleaseeee understand this bc i swear im going insane listening to people talk about konig in the 141.

hi! i was wondering if you could do angst prompt 29 with zhongli? thank you!

Hi so this fic kind of went from fluff to angst and back to fluff. For the first time ever I ended an angsty fic happily. Hope you like it!

Word count: 1165

Rules and masterlist

You let out a hiss of pain, jerking your arm away as Zhongli tightens the bandage wrapped around your arm, amber gaze filled with worry.

“My apologies. I did not mean to cause you more pain,” his amber gaze softens and you shake your head.

“It’s alright,” you can’t help but smile at him, lost in the reflection of the moonlight on the amber pools that are your boyfriend’s eyes. You’re glad you chose to come to Luhua Pool at night, the moon amplifies the glow of his eyes.

His fingers linger on your skin, tips brushing against your palm before almost reluctantly letting you go. You hop right back into the pools of water, running your hand through the cooling liquid and splashing the lotus head growing in the middle.

Zhongli’s gaze lingers on the white bandage around your arm. Humans were fragile, that gash would take at least a few days to heal. An archon on the other hand would have healed such a minor injury in a few seconds. 

Yet, humans were so resilient. He couldn’t understand why, and the question of whether he could ever truly learn to live as a mortal surfaced once again.

Was he good enough for you?

“Are you coming into the water?” you call, breaking his train of thought. 

“I will be right there,” he replies. Rolling up his pants, he carefully steps into the pool, the water lapping above his ankles. You grin, flicking water at him before quickly hiding behind a rock.

“Please do not cut yourself again,” he reminds you worriedly. The rock you were currently hiding behind was the very same one that had cut you.

“I’ll be careful!” you peek out from behind the rock, hoping it would be enough to reassure him. He smiles back, moving over to splash you back. You laugh, scooping up some water and throwing it at your boyfriend.

The move catches your boyfriend off guard and he yelps in shock. Water droplets bead off his hair, dripping onto his clothes and he pushes his damp hair out of his face.

Oh no, he's hotter now.

Red creeps up on your face and you try to avert your gaze, but Zhongli closes the gap and lifts your chin up.

“Are you alright?” his gaze flicks over you, checking for any signs of a fever. He couldn’t have you falling sick under his watch.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” you laugh nervously at how close his face is to yours.

“We should return home,” he frowns, still unsure about whether you had a fever. Without waiting for a reply, he lifts you up as though you weighed no lighter than a feather and carries you back.

His inhumane strength reminds you that he’s simply a retired archon who chose to form a contract of love with you, an average human whose lifespan was nothing but a speck compared to the thousands of years he has lived for.

Who are you next to the God of Dust, Guizhong? Why did he choose you? Compared to his previous lover, you’re nothing, and you know it.

You sigh, leaning against his warm chest as the negative thoughts crowd out every other thought. He presses a kiss to the top of your head, setting you down, “I will make some tea to drink before we sleep, please dry yourself off in the meantime.”

You nod, heading to the bathroom to grab a towel while he heads towards the kitchen. Your thoughts follow you all the way to your bed and you groan into your pillow. 

You hate feeling like this. It felt wrong when he had told you before that he loved you for who you were. Yet you would lapse into cycles such as these and sleep it off.

The weight never goes away.

The bed dips as Zhongli climbs onto it, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Good night,” he murmurs into your ear, his breaths tickling your hair. You simply stare straight at the wall, unable to sleep. Your fingers curl into the sheets as you try to hold back the tears. Why couldn’t you just accept the love you were given?

Little did you know he felt the same way.

Zhongli watches the rise and fall of your shoulders and tucks your hair behind your ears. 

How did he ever end up with someone as understanding as you? You chose to spend your life with him, someone shouldering the burden of thousands of years of memories instead of a man who could understand you far better as a mortal. 

The two of you are so mismatched that he has half a mind to ask if you want to break up with him.

“You deserve better,” the words tumble out of his mouth and suddenly he can’t stop the cascade of thoughts.

“I am unable to provide you with experiences a mortal lover can, and instead of enjoying your mortal life, you spend it teaching me what a mortal life is like. You should not be with me, I cannot give you what you want,” tears slide down his face as he tries to muffle his sobs. He shouldn’t you wake you up.

You immediately roll around, slightly panicked and gently wipe his tears away, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re wrong. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. You’re an archon who has seen so much, and yet you choose to live your life with a simple average human,” you take a deep breath to steady yourself.

“I know I’m nothing compared to Guizhong, I can’t fight, I don't know so much, heck I can’t even defend myself from a rock! I don’t deserve an archon as a lover. Even a retired one,” you laugh, blinking away the tears that have started to form.

He frowns and pulls you into a tight hug, careful not to squeeze you too tightly.

“Do not say that about yourself. You have taught me so much, much more than you know, and I am eternally grateful to you for that,” he buries his face into your hair, breathing in your scent.

“Most of all, you are not Guizhong. Do not compare yourself to her.”

“Double negative makes a positive,” you blurt out before flushing in embarrassment. You did not mean to say that out loud.

“I...am afraid I do not understand,” Zhongli blinks at you, confused.

“I meant that since you were being self-deprecating and I was also self-deprecating, which is a negative thing to do, it results in both of us deserving each other, which is a positive thing. Or something like that,” you shift awkwardly. 

The joke is now ruined after the explanation, there is no salvaging your pride.

To your surprise, he lets out a chuckle, “I see. I suppose it makes sense.”

He runs his fingers through your hair, humming softly as you press against him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“Good night, my love.”

We love Aventurine [Reshares are much appreciated <3]

Service Dog Johnny Headcanons:

Johnny is a service dog to Reader as well

Why Simon chose Reader

Why Simon only 🖐️ 🍆 with Johnny there

Johnny/Reader kink dynamic

Pre-sex briefing

Why Johnny thinks he’s unlovable

Why Johnny and Simon joke about sex with each other

Why Simon doesn’t touch himself with Reader

Simon/Johnny romantic differences

Johnny's Love

Johnny’s motivation and beliefs about the situation

The first time Simon told Reader about his trauma

Simon’s support system

Simon’s trauma makes it hard to keep up sometimes

Simon getting jealous

Johnny is okay

Who’s getting cast aside?

Missing piece of the pentagram

Simon’s house

What Simon whispered to Johnny

Rough sex between Simon and Reader

Catching feelings

Ghost is a war criminal

Service Dog Johnny Drabbles/Bonus Scenes

"First time she ever showed me--"

Being silly with Bob

Cigarettes

Simon therapy

Pet names

Girlfriend

Johnny POV Part 1 (Laney)

Johnny POV Part 2 (Falling for her)

Johnny POV Part 3 (Family Day)

Johnny POV Part 4 (Rehab)

Johnny POV Part 5 (You’re a good person)

Johnny POV Part 6 (Just a graze)

Johnny POV Part 7 (Ghost in the bedroom)

Johnny POV Part 8 (Crafts)

Johnny POV Part 9 (Baby)

Johnny POV part 10 - Johnny comes over

Johnny POV Part 11 (Tinder)

Johnny POV Part 12 (Rookie)

Simon POV Part 1 (No bra)

Simon POV Part 2 (butterfly in the garden)

Simon POV Part 3 (help me help you)

Simon POV Part 4 (BJ)

Simon POV Part 5 (Shoelace)

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