I Read A Lot Of Spider-man Meets The Batfam Fics, And Every Time Peter's Tryna Hack Up Or Buy Some Illegal

I read a lot of Spider-man meets the Batfam fics, and every time Peter's tryna hack up or buy some illegal legal documents, or figure out an excuse for why he doesn't legally or socially exist in that universe, I always think 'dude, just say you were raised in a cult.'

Cuz like, America has a lot of cults. It's not unbelievable to assume he grew up in one where they were too off the grid and paranoid to register their kids with the government. And it would explain how he isn't familiar with shit like pop culture, superheroes, and the like.

More Posts from Hippomanchild and Others

2 months ago

BATBROS PHOTOCARDS 🦇

BATBROS PHOTOCARDS 🦇
BATBROS PHOTOCARDS 🦇
BATBROS PHOTOCARDS 🦇
BATBROS PHOTOCARDS 🦇

Here’s the designs for the photocards that are gonna be in my shop!

I decided to give them an idol vibe, since- yk they’re actual celebrities even in their civilian identities (jason not exactly but that’s irrelevant)

Anyways preorders opening soon!

2 months ago
2 months ago

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

3 months ago
Some Silly Doodle Requests From Instagram :)
Some Silly Doodle Requests From Instagram :)
Some Silly Doodle Requests From Instagram :)
Some Silly Doodle Requests From Instagram :)

some silly doodle requests from instagram :)

2 months ago

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.


Tags
3 months ago

Dad Marvel idea. (That I got from the captain Marvel fan group) Billy accidentally picks up on parental lingo when he's just trying to be there. And he can't help it when teens older than him see him as sort of a dad/parental figure.

Que him trying to keep it all together as he deals with traumatized teens as a traumatized kid. Like posing as a guardian figure for a school meeting of some sort (he always does it with himself, why wouldn't it work on the other Teens?..)

Batman asked Cap to go to parent teacher conferences, P.A meetings and all the other school stuff for his kids cause he got stuck up on a case that he NEEDED to solve(that's Tim's thing but whatever.)

And he's great at it, wonderful even. So that leads to all the other JL members asking for Cap to pose as an Uncle, Older brother, or any other sort of that matter.

That leads to him making life long enemies with the P.A moms.

Billy (in cap for wearing a suit that he was gifted from Batman for this reason alone.): Sarah, I thought I TOLD you to bring boiled potatoes not that *visibly wenching* potato salad for the class picnic. I thought I told you I WILL handle the cooking?

Some mom named Sarah: Oh, how silly of me. Well it's fine though, you saw how popular my potato salad was at the P.A meeting. Mr.Charles (fake name that so luckily happened to be C.C's)

Billy: Well! It was sure of a fight for the janitors to clean the toilets after? Wasn't it? Sarah?

Another one would be.

Billy: Oh, Heather's mom. How nice of you to bring those doggie treats for the Dogs, I would say you put verrrry hard work into them! (Feeding one of the cookies to Titus [Don't worry, he made sure that they were safe. Luckily she didn't add anything harmful to Dogs in them])

Heather's mom: Oh realllly? I wasn't sure if I was making it for Dogs or a human, it's pretty hard to tell with you?

Just so you know all of these are said in a very fake, condescending? backfaced tones. Plus a tiny add on as Billy pretended to be his own guardian for his parent teacher meeting.

Mrs. Smith: I'll have you know that, well Billy has been coming to school in interesting clothing options. I'm not one to judge Mr.Batson, but are you really letting your son go out like that?(Def judging him for looking homeless.)

Captain Marvel: I'll have you know that's the latest Fad between the little fellas. He's just following the trend that's outside of Fawcett! Well if you go to the new Gotham or new york city everybody dresses up like that. There's nothing wrong for my boy to follow modern fashion trends such as that.!

1 month ago

Literally Sobbing

Tim playing quietly at the foot of his mother's vanity while she gets ready for a gala, his mother watching him out of the corner of her eye

Tim grinning from behind his mother's leg at the socialite who insulted him while his mother rips them a new one

Tim trying on Janet's dresses and trying to do make-up so he can "be pretty like mommy". Janet helping to clean him up and showing him how to do it properly

Tim who doesn't mind when his parents leave because he'll know they'll always come back eventually and his mother will tell him everything when they do

Tim who is usually so in control of his emotions fully breaks down when he gets the news about his mother's death

Tim being so devastated that he's borderline catatonic during her funeral. Barely able to go through the motions of being a polite host while half of his heart is missing.

Tim Drake being the biggest mama's boy

3 weeks ago

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

2 months ago
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13
Incorrect DC Quotes Part 13

Incorrect DC quotes part 13

1 month ago

Billy dabbing up tawny after foiling dr Sivanas plans once again

Billy Dabbing Up Tawny After Foiling Dr Sivanas Plans Once Again
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