Hopeless-war - Adiar

I AM GOING INSANE WHY IS TUMBLR SO SAD

if dean said "i want you" cas would have heard "like an object." if dean said "i love you" cas would have heard "like a brother." so dean says "i need you" and he means "i need you like i need air." and we know this because dean has been trained to never need anything from anyone. he isn't supposed to need anyone. but cas does not know this and instead he hears "i need you like i need a gun."

if i cant kill myself i guess i just have to make art and cook good meals and listen to music and dress up pretty and hope it will be all worth it to be doing something to distract myself forever

Jensen Ackles really said "no Dean can't say I love you, it's too gay" just to turn around and say "I need you". Yeah sure king, that's definitely not a very queer thing to say. Very heterosexual.

"Full of fresh food, shaded by the trees, Lucy Gray singing softly beside him, he began to appreciate nature. It really was beautiful out here. The crystal clean air. The lush colors. He felt so relaxed and free. What if this was his life: rising whenever, catching his food for the day, and hanging out with Lucy Gray by the lake?

Who needed wealth and success and power when they had love? Didn’t it conquer all?"

--Suzanne Collins, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes page 441

In the end, love did conquer all.

Sam is organising some of their archived items one day, and tries on the Holy Fire glasses just as Castiel walks into the room. He tries not to freak out because now he can see that Cas is surrounded by floating, glowing eyes.

Sam takes the glasses off. Normal regular Cas.

Puts them back on. Eyes everywhere.

Cas looks over and sees Sam's strange expression, not knowing the glasses he's wearing have been treated with Holy Fire, and asks if he's okay.

Sam fumbles his way through a "Yeah- I'm uh- I'm fine."

While they're talking Sam notices that actually, only a handful of the eyes floating around Cas are open, looking at him, while the rest are closed.

But then Dean walks into the room.

Instantly all of Cas's glowing eyes snap open and follow his movement through the room. "Hey Sam, hey Cas," Dean greets, unaware of the eyes watching him.

"Hello, Dean," Cas replies, all the eyes squinting closed like a happy cat.

Sam watches with interest. "Cas?" he says.

Cas's physical body turns to him, but only a few of the eyes leave Dean. "Yes, Sam?"

"Nothing."

The eyes all return to Dean before Cas even finishes saying, "If you're sure."

..........Sam is unsurprised.

Lucy Gray should be proud to know she haunted that evil man every damn day of his fucking miserable life

my expression might look neutral and emotionless but fear not ! inside my brain i'm actually imagining my 2 favorite little fictional guys in angsty romantic situations and then yoinkin doinks in richly vivid 4K detail complete with in home theater surround sound

So funny to me that the same guy who immediately senses something is off with Dean after he gets the Mark of Cain

Literally never notices that he forgot Sam’s soul in hell, nor can he determine what’s wrong with Sam after spending considerable time with him

And I won’t even mention the selective hearing for prayers. They really had a profound ass bond huh?

charged guilty with the crime of wanting

i’m always always a “dean kisses cas first” truther BUT dean chickens out halfway through because cas isn’t reacting so he pulls back and has a million apologies on his tongue and is literally dying of shame and guilt when cas comes back online and mauls him like an over enthusiastic golden retriever