Does Anyone Else Constantly Get The Feeling That You’re Running Out Of Time?? And For No Reason!! I

“I am unable to describe exactly what is the matter with me, now and then there are horrible fits of anxiety, apparently without cause, or otherwise a feeling of emptiness and fatigue in the head.”

— Vincent van Gogh, in a letter to his sister, Wil. (via apocryphalstories)

You know what sucks even more than being mentally ill? Being self-aware about it. Like you constantly know that your behavior is a problem and you know exactly what it is and exactly what’s causing it, but nobody believes you because you’re mentally ill.

It’s not that I don’t want to live, I want to feel alive. But I have been dead for so long, I don’t even remember how being alive feels. Now, death feels like home, I just want to go home.

Lost

I feel so fucking lost, out of place, as if i do not belong.. i want to run away.

“I am painfully aware that I am no one’s favorite person”

— unknown (via there-will-be-violence)

To the girl we lost to suicide

I can’t stop thinking about you. You committed suicide over the summer but I still can’t accept the fact that you’re gone. You put on a fake smile for everyone and laughed until you cried. Your family misses you, and so do your friends. We had a suicide prevention assembly after what happened, your friends had to get up and leave because they couldn’t stop thinking of you. Everytime I hear your name, my heart breaks a little. It’s hard going through each day not hearing your laughter. The night you decided to end your life you texted your friends, “I love you guys,” but they never thought twice about it because that’s just who you were. You had so much love to give. You were so beautiful, and so loved. We miss you babygirl. Rest easy.

i hate that i’m so absent as a person. i don’t start conversations. i can barely maintain them. i’m so weary and spaced out all the time to the point where i can’t even keep up small talk and i’m just so disappointed in myself