So That One Piece Remake News Huh

One of my favorite Ask Reddit threads/responses was one titled something like “What is a mind-blowing fact you could tell to someone in the past?”

One of the top replies was “I have a device that fits in my pocket that allows me to access the totality of humanity’s knowledge and culture in the blink of an eye. I use it to look at pictures of cats and to argue with strangers.”

I have never heard a more accurate summary of how most of us use our smartphones and the internet lmao

Everyone knows Jason likes Jane Austen and reads romance. Everyone assumes the romance he reads is historical. And some of it is, they're not wrong, but most of what he reads is reverse harem monster fucker smut.

When Red Hood gets sacrificed by a cult during a summoning ritual and the ghost king shows up in all his eldritch glory, Jason has never before been more grateful for his full face mask. He has never blushed so hard in his life. He's the same color as his mask right now, actually. He is way too into the tentacles. Like, way more than he ever thought he'd be. It’s honestly impressive that any blood is managing to leave his body with the way it’s all rushing to his cheeks. He's also about to swoon like one of the heroines in his favorite old bodice rippers. 

That last part probably is the blood loss, though. 

“-So that’s why I got these three soul contracts,” Danny holds up three mystical shimmering orbs of light before promptly smushing them together into one “One soul contract now”

Damian raises an eyebrow, which is impressive to see considering he’s at that moment wearing his mask, “you wanted the drunkard magician to owe you one”

“Clock hinted I should sort it out now for future reasons, I have learned not to argue too much about these things with him, it’s literally and figuratively a waste of time.”

“And that’s why you now have soul sight, he gave you that ability for all this”

“Yeah well funny thing, demons will try to scam you in any way they can, it’s very annoying.” but it was also really great to just go ‘I can see the actual soul stuff I want hidden behind your back…’ whenever they thought they were being clever.

“so- what the heck” Danny startles as Batman enters the batcave.

“Danny?”

“Dami… why does father’s soul look like that” Danny keeps squinting with his eyes, trying to make sense of what he’s seeing

And Damian can feel himself get tense, ready for whatever, “... like what”

“it looks… whole… but it’s like it’s made out of millions of tiny fragments, like a cracked prisma. how does that even work?”

Damian thinks really hard, “but it doesn’t look wrong right?”

“No, it's just the world's most elaborate jigsaw puzzle soul. Please explain?”

“Well… the only thing I can think of is that time where father died after we exorcized the demon Nezha from his body and afterwards brought him back to life cause I asked everyone in Gotham to share a tiny bit of their soul with him”

What “Dami what”

“it was that or dead father, Zatanna told me that my life wasn’t sufficient enough for full resurrection, in fact my life and that of the others wouldn’t have worked, so-”

“millions of Gothamites”

“yes”

“our dad is basically Gotham”

Damian shrugs, “father is father”

“Ancients”

Okay but them translating one language into like 7

Any of the batkids "did they just say 'seven shell knife?????????" But nope their brain just translated it into multiple.

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me:

i feel this on every level

me and my mutual liking each other’s passive aggressive horny posts without ever actually talking to each other

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don’t worry everyone the doctor who wiki has everything under control