Hotflatbread - ☆•°maxim°•☆

Ready for a long ace-centric metaphor about sex? 

Alright, so. Coffee. I don’t drink coffee. I have no desire to drink coffee. I find people who enthusiastically go on about the flavor differences of lattes, espressos, and french press brews, both amusing and mildly baffling. All the coffee ads. Coffee jokes. Bustling coffee shops. To me, all coffee is similarly bitter and unpleasant. I have been through so many “Try this, it’s sweet! You can’t even taste the coffee!”  Alas, I always can. And I’m  sensitive to caffeine anyway. So, I don’t really think about drinking it when I wake up or am tired.

 Yet I love the smell of coffee. I love the idea of coffee. The feeling of a warm cup taking the chill from my fingers, the cozy ritual of having a drink and chat. I might try someone’s coffee. If they ask, if I want to please them and share in something they enjoy. I am also perfectly capable of learning the preferences of those I care about and creating a cup for their pleasure. 

But I don’t want coffee, generally speaking. I will probably make a face after trying their coffee and wash the taste out with something else. They may rush to reassure me that it is an acquired taste. And I’ll have to reply that it’s a taste I don’t particularly care about acquiring in the way they did. ‘Drink it till you like it’ will never work for me.

 But that doesn’t mean I am against coffee or think people shouldn’t drink it. Doesn’t mean I’ve taken a vow to never drink any. And sure, maybe if you get one of those sugar and whipped cream disasters, more of a warm milkshake than a cup of coffee, I’ll probably be happier sipping it with you. But honestly? I’d rather smell someone else’s coffee and not be expected to drink it. I’d really rather have the heat and sweetness of my hot cocoa. 

Hey, what if chuuya and the rest of the ada were unavailable and they couldn't find any other babysitter so atsushi and ryūnosuke had to settle with dazai as a babysitter? (I know dazai needs a babysitter himself but like, desperate times call for desperate measures!)

How long would it take till the house is on fire?

Dazai has successfully babysat.

Usually it involves both of the kids already being asleep or down for naps and unable to wreck absolute chaos in his presence. But for the most part, Dazai can be a responsible adult, he just chooses not to be as he knows the Responsible Adults will be in behind him to clean up the destruction.

That being said, the house hasn't burned down, yet. Mud tracked all over the residence, cracks in the walls, a broken window, pulled down bookcases? Spin the wheel to pick the destruction, SOMETHING has happened under Dazai's watch.

Oh, Acchan jumped off the roof once while under Dazai's supervision. They still haven't told Atsushi or Akutagawa about that one. (He was fine.)

SIGLAI MINI DATE THINFYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also i got my stomach pumped because i took too many paracetamol and ibuprofen for my stab

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

CHUUYA LISTEN TO AC/DC PLSSSSSS