Idrawtooslow - I Can Draw, But Not Very Fast.

This is not a god-emperor.

This is a god whose name is "Emperor."

Long-dead, he was the last ruler of a once-powerful empire whose cultural influence outlasted it.

Was he deified in his lifetime? We no longer know. But he is deified now.

While his memory lives on, his true name has been lost. At some point, the word "emperor" ceased to have meaning except when referring to him, therefore his name is now Emperor.

It says very clearly, right under the map:

That would be the joke.

Yes, it's their latitude transferred over to the West coast.

Cannot believe the number of people who are either freaking out or trying to dunk on this, because they think OP is claiming that's where these cities actually are.

It's just a geography joke.

Eastern cities on the west coast

::Post is about spiders::

So I'm just sitting here at my computer, scrolling Tumblr, when a little male Giant Brown spider hits the bottom windowsill behind my screen. Almost immediately a HUGE female Giant Brown scurries up to it. They sit there listening for each other for a moment, then the female moves closer, feels the male trying to get away, and pounces on him, grabs him, and carries him off out of sight.

Spider procreation is so distressing to see.

Also, I need to deep clean my room.

Dark eyes open in what the adventurers thought was a tree. Now fully alert, they can easily make out the massive, spreading colossus staring down at them. It speaks to them in a deep groan that echoes through the misty forest.

"LEAVE THIS PLACE..."

The Mercenary stammers as he steps forward. "We... we didn't mean--"

"THE WAY YOU FOUND IT."

"Oh."

Oh, crap, I can't get away from this prescriptivist asshole, there's nothing beyond the wall but water

YES!*

*no.

As a matter of fact...

A well-known fixture of the Arcanokinetics department of the College of Arcana at the University of Celestial Secrets is a stuffed plush rabbit, of the kind colloquially called a "bunny friend," the Haradine cultural equivalent of a Teddy bear.

It sits - or rather, slumps - on a plinth in the middle of the main lecture hall, and is used as a demonstration and practice target for spells. Many, many spells. It is patched and fraying and threadbare and stained, and has a small embroidered College of Arcana emblem sewn to its chest where a Reader would have his badge. All and sundry call it "M'lord Bun," and address it and refer to it as if it were a fiefholding lord and member of the faculty.

M'lord Bun is occasionally repaired or reverted, from his many misadventures, by members of the Temporal department of the College. Only very rarely is he mended in the mundane fashion by skilled service staff.

The Lord Bun legend has grown over the centuries, to the point, in the 5th age, which the various funerals and "retirements" of unrecoverable Lord Buns are important historical landmarks in College lore, and M'lord Bun is now a senior member of the faculty, and officiates over certain ceremonies (notably the Japery in mid-March), and often joins the Deans in their viewing box or at high table for special occasions. A chain of office is nowadays embroidered around M'lord Bun's fluffy neck.

It is not strictly true that the Wizard Brismeister was given a Dire Notice of Censure for beheading Lord Bun in year 197 of the Fourth Age. The stated reason was, in fact, for "failing to maintain the decorum required of his position." Brismeister never again read arcanokinesis, or any other subject, at the University, despite remaining a Senior Reader of Arcana, and he resigned from his post in 201. His eponymized Whirling Blade spell, although adopted immediately at Sloeberries, was not taught at Celestial until 210.

Upon Lord Bun's magical beheading, the students in attendance declared him dead on the spot, and petitioned the Master to appoint a new Lord. That was the origin of the current M'lord Bun, who has greeted the arrival of the so-called Fifth Age with characteristic inscrutability.

Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

Opinions are like assholes: everyone has one.

So, it's kind of gross and disturbing that you're using someone else's.

From episode 90 of the podcast "Lingthusiasm":

More power to that guy, he is a kindred spirit, but also

why is nobody talking about the little man-box??

I find that almost everyone wants to find a way to convince themselves that they're smarter than the smart guy. I get confidently-incorrected all the time where I have a reputation for being "the smart guy," but people who don't know me very well, or haven't met me before, almost never try to correct me unless I say something really surprising.

The thing about tumblr is that you could make an entirely reasonable post like "hey in a pinch you can use potato starch as dry shampoo, just sprinkle it on top and comb it in, you can wash it off later and it'll be completely fine", and there's going to be someone reblogging this like

"sure this is safe and ok IN SOME CASES but ONLY if you're 100% sure that the thing you're using is potato starch and not something else, like laundry detergent! DO NOT EVER just sprinkle random powders into your hair before you're sure you've identified it correctly! You could burn your scalp off by following OP's advice without question!"

...Like are you sure that this is a real problem that people might actually have, or did you just feel like it should now be your turn to be talking?