It’s Getting Closer

they came, they served sexual tension and enemies to lovers, they died

A letter to your heart

I have spent countless hours over the years ruminating on my actions. There is no way to express the depth of my regret and sorrow for the pain I caused you. I was willfully blind to the ways my anger and inner turmoil spilled over, my words cutting into you like daggers. You of all people did not deserve to bear the brunt of my unresolved shit. Your love was the light of my life, a light I dimmed with my own darkness. I see how my actions shattered you, making it difficult for you to open your heart again. Being afraid to love, burdened by scars I left on your heart, is a weight I should have to carry. Not you. You, who's love is a precious treasure. I hope you know how incredible you are, someone deserving of a love that is gentle, kind, and unwavering. I hope you can find a way to open your heart to someone who worships the ground you walk on. Who shows you the love and reverence you well deserve. While I am profoundly sorry for everything, I will never ask for forgiveness or another chance, I simply want to acknowledge that you deserve so much better than what I gave you. And I want to thank you for allowing me back into your life. It's more than I could've dreamed of.

Eternally yours

June 7, 1924 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 3]

I was caught up in the septa scene that I didn’t even notice Alicent tells Rhaenyra that “Cole is on the march”.

Giving up your fuck buddy’s element of surprise for your doomed gal pal.

6/27/24

1 month

An inexplicable tightness grips my chest,

when the thought of losing you intrudes,

a shadow darkening the edges of my mind,

turning peace into a turbulent storm.

I’ll be what you desire, whatever form,

a steadfast friend, a silent companion,

confidant, my presence offered freely, without claim.

Content to be a part of your existence,

to share your world, even from a distance.

Each moment with you is a cherished gift,

a fragile thread that binds my heart to yours,

for losing you again would be an endless night,

a void too vast for words to ever fill.

So I remain, whatever you need me to be,

grateful just to be a part of your world.

Vertigo Peaks by Dion Anja 2. Return II by Dean Gioia