AO3 Etiquette

How to protect yourself during stampede

Some of my favorite doodles from Christmas cards I sent out this year! Lots of fun 63!madatobi verses plus a silly scene (based on this) from @hiruma-musouka‘s StarTrek au 

The truth is your fave will never be this cool and that is why you're all crying, vomiting and seething at this man's mere existence:

Well Then

To: @arrowsbane

From: @pwnie3

Title: Well Then

Rating: M

Wordcount: 8520

Prompt: In an AU where Orochimaru never took Danzo up on his offer for labs, Sarutobi dumps a trio of genetically-altered brats on him and hands him a ‘Teaching for Dummies’ book, which is not appreciated. Turns out, Orochimaru is pretty good with kids, but thinks he isn’t. Nobody else is buying that lie though.

Warning/Notes: I never thought I would have to tag a six-year-old for suicidal ideation but here I am. Friendly reminder that I love Kakashi and I wish my fingers didn’t know how to type independent of my will.

Weiterlesen

Fandom PSAs

Dont’ Like, Don’t Read

or DL; DR

You are responsible for curating your own online experience.

If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.

Learn to use the Sort and Filter function on AO3, especially the Exclude tools.

On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.

If you hated something, you don’t need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.

The Back button is free. Use it.

Addendum:

Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.

I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.

Ship And Let Ship

or SALS

You are allowed to ship whatever you want.

Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.

You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, don’t use the ship tags for hate posts.

If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you don’t, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Don’t throw your hate in their face.

Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.

All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.

Addendum:

”I agree with this, except when…”

No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.

Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.

You don’t EVER harass real people over pixels.

If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.

Your Kink Is Not My Kink

or YKINMK / YKINMKATO

The longer version is ”Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay”.

People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.

Even if you don’t like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.

You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that it’s ”weird”.

Don’t kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.

This goes both ways: your kink is not someone else’s kink, so don’t push it onto those who are not into it.

Be Kind

or Don’t Be An Asshole

Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.

Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.

Don’t harass real people over fictional things.

Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.

Stop trying to ”win”. Fandom is not a competition.

Remember that your own experiences aren’t universally shared. Your perception of things can differ from someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean either of you is necessarily wrong.

Rewards

“I refuse.”

Tobirama frowned at the instant rebuff. Madara hardly ever refused him these days, but this was something that Madara absolutely refused to do no matter what.

“Madara, you are being unreasonable,” Tobirama pointed out, crossing his arms and readying himself for a change of tactics.

“Unreasonable? I’m being unreasonable?” Madara said, turning around where he was skimming through a mission scroll and pinning Tobirama with an impressive scowl. “I refuse to be your guinea pig any longer! You turned my Sharingan neon pink for a week! I was laughed at by my enemies before I burned them alive for laughing at me!”

“It was an unfortunate side effect,” Tobirama agreed solemnly.

“And then you left me nearly blind after messing with my Mangekyō Sharingan! I couldn’t see for three days! I walked into a damned tree!” Madara ranted hotly, pointing to his eyes to emphasize his point.

“You were hardly blind. Your eyes were just more sensitive to light,” Tobirama dismissed the accusation calmly.

“You only care about my eyes!” Madara hissed. “I refuse to participate in any more of your experiments!”

“That is untrue,” Tobirama denied.

“You haven’t slept with me for two damned weeks because all you want to do is experiment on me!” Madara accused, now pointing at Tobirama to emphasize that particular point.

Tobirama paused, thinking back and realizing that, yes, indeed, that particular accusation was true. It wasn’t as if Tobirama could get in the mood when there was so much to learn with an available specimen — or rather, volunteer was readily available.

“I’ll let you do anything you want tonight if you let me continue my research,” Tobirama offered.

Madara paused, looking like he was seriously considering it for a minute before he shook himself and scowled. “That’s unfair. You can’t do that!”

Tobirama locked onto the lapse of Madara’s indignation with the precision of a predator and ruthlessly exploited it. He slinked over to his displeased lover and got right into Madara’s space, causing the man to tense in wary suspicion. Tobirama placed a lingering hand on Madara’s chest, trailing one finger lightly over it. Tobirama certainly wasn’t above more…persuasive options if the need called for it.

“You’re the only one I want to do it with,” Tobirama murmured, gazing at Madara through his lashes.

Madara swallowed at the suggestive wording. “You mean with your experiments, right?”

Tobirama tilted his head, aware that he had the entirety of Madara’s reluctant enraptured attention. “Can’t it be either? Besides…”

He pressed a little closer, their lips mere millimeters apart, breath warm and enticing between them. Madara sucked in a shuddering inhalation, eyelids lowering in anticipation.

“…The rewards you’ll reap will be entirely worth it,” Tobirama promised in a silky purr before abruptly drawing back and shrugging nonchalantly. “However, since you’re that opposed, Kagami and Izuna have been quite eager to volunteer. I suppose I’ll go and request their assistance after all.”

Madara blinked rapidly, looking half dazed when Tobirama was suddenly a few feet away before the words sank in. Before Tobirama could take two steps, Madara swiftly reached out and snatched his wrist, pulling him back.

“Wait,” Madara said before grudgingly grinding out, “Fine. I’ll do it, damn you. But I want my reward first.”

Tobirama raised a brow and allowed the curl of satisfaction to settle in his being before he nodded. “Let’s get started right away then, shall we?”

“You guys,” a voice came from their right where a hapless witness had watched the entire thing with an increasingly embarrassed blush. “Can you not do this in my office every single time?”

Hashirama, unfortunately for him, was entirely ignored while Madara hastily whisked Tobirama away to the Uchiha compound with all of the intentions to reap his well-deserved reward.

You learn something new everyday.

ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm

Tobirama should have been honest with himself

Imagine if the Madara of the plotting wasn't actually the real Madara? If he was idk, a Zetsu puppet or something. Imagine how offended he'd be when being summoned properly! Like 'Excuse Me! Somebody has been doing What WITH MY NAME AND BODY! How Dare THEY! *Explodes Into Hysterical Rage* Tobirama/Hashirama/Everyone Else: Ah, yup. That would be the real Madara...

Oh no... can you imagine the angst potential of Madara getting possessed by Zetsu to control the Kyuubi and Hashirama not noticing?

So Hashirama kills his best friend without ever noticing that he’s a hostage, and Zetsu has been mimicking Madara’s chakra to the point that Tobirama thought that the corruption was Madara’s natural signature.

And then Zetsu uses the body as a host because he’s a demigod-plant-sage-parasite-thing and can keep the body functional after death plus Madara’s identity was useful for its plans. But someone at some point in the Fourth War plotline someone screws up somewhere in a communication chain and they tried to summon Madara.

And it works.

And now there’s a VERY ANGRY RINNEGAN POWERED UCHIHA ZOMBIE rampaging through the war laying waste to everyone because fuck you fucks how fucking dare you slander his name!?!?