Latest Posts by igotbloodonmyhands - Page 4

I'm currently studying for an exam tomorrow guys (padagogy), so the new part of Alive will have to wait, sorry : ( Buuuut I'm currently also working on some other drabbles

Alive / Part IV

Word count: 359

Soap was asleep when Ghost entered his room a few days later. Ghost didn't mind, weirdly. He put the book on the nightstand (The remnant chronicles, first book) and sat down on the chair next to the bed. After about five minutes of him scrolling through his phone, a quiet huffing came from the bed. He set his phone down, watching Soap. His chest was rising steadily, eyes closed. Ghosts eyes took in his features, long lashes, soft lips, a light stubble. But what caught his attention was his clenching fists. The bed sheet was tangled between his fingers, muscles in his forearms tensing. Ghost looked closer. Soaps eyes started to dart around under his eyelids, his lips parted and his heart rate spiked up. "No, no no nono.... please don't....", the words that fell from Soaps lips were quiet and hoarse. Ghost leaned forward, eyes fixed on his strained face. Carefully he raised his hand, not knowing what to do. "It hurts, please... Make it stop... Please..." Soaps words were like a knife twisting in his heart. He wished he could take his pain. "No! Don't touch me!", that was it. Ghost couldn't take it anymore, and hesitantely put his hand on Soaps chest, feeling his racing heart beat. Soaps eyes flew open, narrowing on Ghost. He started thrashing, trying to push him away. "No, please!" Ghost grabbed his wrists, pinning them down on the bed. "Johnny, it's me. Simon. Look at me" Soaps resistance grew weaker, but he still seemed distressed. Tears streamed down his face. "Shh, love. It's alright, you're safe. I'm here.", he took Soaps jaw in his hand, forcing him to look at him. "Eyes on me, Johnny" Soaps gaze focused, finally. "Simon" Ghost released his wrists, setting down on the bed next to him. Soaps chest was heaving, is heart still racing. He grabbed his head, slightly wincing in pain. "Y' alright?" Soap nodded. "I was scared", he whispered. "It felt so real" Ghost grabbed a tissue, gently wiping the tears off Soaps face. "I know" He settled next to Soap on the bed, his hands on his chest. "'M 'ere. You're safe"

Alive / Part lll

Word count: 486

The next few weeks went by agonisingly slow. While the others were training, Soap had to stay in bed. Even if he were allowed to get out, he couldn't. The damage done to his brain impacted his balance, coordination and speech. He already dreaded the months, maybe even years of physical therapy needed.

The only good thing in this whole shit show was Ghost. He came every day around 1700 (5pm for the Americans). Soap tried to hide his excitement when he heard the heavy footsteps approach his door, but it worked poorly. He told himself it was just because he was glad about any distraction, even though his heart didn't beat so fast that the machine started beeping every time Gaz or Price came over.

The conversations with Ghost were nice. Other than the first time when he woke up, the lieutenant wasn't weirdly nervous. Since Soap didn't have much to tell other than that his nurse painted her nails blue, Ghost was usually the one to talk. He told him about training, mostly. How Gaz managed to land face first while fast roping, or how Price was heard screeching like an eagle when a mouse wormed its way into his rucksack. (He still denies it, claiming it was a bird). They talked about the most mundane and sometimes, quite frankly, most boring things. How yesterday in chow hall, they had chilli con carne but without chilli and without carne. But Soap is thankful for every minute he gets to spend with Ghost. Even if they run out of things to talk about, it is a comfortable silence. Ghost brings Soap books, and since his eyes and head start hurting after a while, he reads them to him. If only Soap could focus on the actual story and not how Ghosts lips move behind the mask, how his deep voice grows calm and soothing. He wished he could raise his hand and cup Ghosts jaw, gently tracing his bottom lip.

"Johnny? Y' listening?", Ghosts eyes looked up at him, deep brown, like the leaves on a chestnut tree in autumn. He was getting distracted again. "Er, ya, m' 'ere, lt", he stuttered. Ghost sighed. "Y' should sleep a bit." He looked at his watch. "''t's 1900 already (7pm). Don't wanna strain that fragile lil head 'f yours.", he grinned under the mask. Soap rolled his eyes playfully. "Ugh, fuck you, Ghost" "Later." He got up and placed the book (Ballad of songbirds and snakes) on the nightstand. "Y' need anything else?". Those damn eyes looked at him again. Soap wished he could live in them. "M' fine. See you 'morrow?" Ghost nodded, winking before closing the door behind him.

Soap sank back in the pillows with a groan. "Bithidh an bastard sin 'n a bhàs dhomh-sa". (That bastard is gonna be the death of me)

He couldn't wait to wait to see him again tomorrow.

General infos

Hey there, my name's Myshka. I'm a gal from the beautiful country of Germany. I'm currently invested in Cod, and will be writing as many fics as I can. If you have any ideas or requests, feel free to send them.

Master list

Alive series: Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part XI Part XII

Drabbles: Pain (Ghost x Soap) Fluff and theft (141 x reader) Shattered (Ghost x reader) Noch fünf Minuten (König x reader) Nightmares/Part I (Alejandro, Gaz, Ghost, Horangi, König x reader) Royal guard (Ghost x Soap) Gladiators (Ghost x Soap) Nice leave (Horangi x reader) Bloody hands (Ghost x Soap) Sleepless (Ghost x reader)

So intimate

From this Fanfic

Alive / Part II

Word count: 377

The air was filled with the clean, biting smell of antiseptic, the gentle, warm sunlight flooding the room through big windows a stark contrast against the stench.

Despite his tall figure and broad shoulders, he looked ridiculously small and lost next to the hospital bed. It had been two weeks since Soap got shot in the head, and somehow survived. He’d been unconscious since then, hooked up to an array of different machines.

It took Price and Gaz a lot of convincing to get him to at least go back to his room to change out of his blood stained clothes. He didn’t want to leave Soap alone. He’d already lost him once, and he’d fight God bare handed if anyone tried to take him away again.

Watching the now in bandages wrapped Soap was a monotonous task, but there was nowhere he’d rather be. The doctors said he’d wake up any time now, and Simon would be damned if he wasn’t there when he did.

His head lied on the bed, gaze fixed onto Soaps still face. He slowly started to drift off, eyelids heavy. Suddenly, the muscles of Soaps thigh flexed under his head. Simon was wide awake in a split second. His eyes searched for a sign of consciousness in his face, finding his brows slightly furrowed and eyes carefully blinking.

„W-what- happened?“, his voice was hoarse and croaky, glancing through the room without focus. „You, uh, got shot. In the head“, he said, a sudden nervousness overcoming him. A shocked expression flashed across Soaps face. „Oh“. Simon fumbled with the string of his hoodie. „Do you need something?“ Soap nodded, and pointed to a water bottle on the nightstand. Simon grabbed the bottle, opening it and handing it to him. Soaps hands were weak and shaky, struggling to grasp the bottle. “Wait, I’ll help ya“, Simon mumbled, tilting the bottle so he could drink. He wiped the water around his mouth off with a napkin, eyes fixed on the pink slightly parted lips.

The door opened, a nurse stepped into the room, making his way towards Soap. The urge to flee, to run away overcame him. „I‘ll, uh, leave ya to it, then“, he stuttered, leaving the room before Soap could say anything.

Alive / Part I

Word count: 244 Simon firmly believed that regret was one of the most painful things someone could experience. It set his body ablaze, burned through his skin and into his bones.

The few seconds it took to run over Soaps limp, unconscious body, all of the things he wanted to say flung through his head like shrapnel from a bomb, boring their sharp edges into his mind.

He knelt down next to him, shaking hands desperately trying to find a pulse. There was none.

„I‘m sorry, Johnny. I‘m so sorry.“, his voice strained with shock and despair. „I love you. I need you. Please don‘t die, please.“ The black fabric of his mask was wet with tears.

Through the painful ringing in his ears, he could hear Price order a medevac over comms.

He held him in his arms until evac arrived. Softly cradling his head, silently praying for those storm blue eyes to open again.

His fingers rested on his pulse the entire time, trying to conjure up a faint rhythm, even though he knew that it would not come.

His forehead rested against Soap‘s, nobody daring to pull him away. Suddenly, there was something. A weak, light throb under his gloved fingertip. His head jerked up, eyes wide with a mixture between hope and despair.

Hastily, he pulled the glove off his hand, pressing his finger into Soap‘s neck. There it was again. A pulse. Weak and unsteady, but it was there.

Johnny was alive.

Pain

Word count: 422

He thought he knew what pain was.

God knows he had experienced enough of it. Whether it be physical or psychological pain, it was as if the universe decided that there must be one person who'd be destined to collect all the different types of pain and suffering like other people collect stamps.

But the pain he felt the second he saw the bullet hammer into Soaps head, life slipping out of his eyes in the fraction of a second was nothing he'd ever known before.

In the second it took for Soap, Johnny, to fall to the ground, a vivid image flashed through his mind. Not of the things that were, but of those that could've been. Their eyes locked onto each other, hands entertwined, lips pressed against the other's. A ring on his finger.

The amount of regret that filled his body was unbearable, it felt like flames burning through his skin and into his bones. He regretted so much. Things he never dared to say or do, out of fear of allowing himself to feel again, feel vulnerable for loving someone. It seemed so foolishly insignificant now. He'd do and give anything to hear that stupid scottish accent and see that stupid smug grin again. To get a chance of telling him what he meant to him. That he was the only good thing he had. That he had a reason to return from his missions.

That he loved him.

But now, it was too late. He wanted to rip the skin off his bones in despair.

His body was on autopilot as he made his way towards Soap, the black fabric of his mask wet with tears. "Johnny!", he yelled, voice straining, trying to contain the raging sea of emotions that flooded every fiber of his being.

He held him in his arms, and for the first time in a long while, he screamed out in his mind to God, pleading, begging for a pulse. For a shaky, unsteady breath. For his Johnny.

But nothing came.

The highlands were as beautiful as Johnny always said. The sunset bathed the landscape in a golden light. As they poured Johnnys ashes from the cliff, letting the wind carry it away, his mask was soaked with tears.

The one thing he wanted, craved, the only man he ever loved, was reduced to nothing more than ashes.

It cost him every ounce of self restraint not to throw himself after those ashes.

What was his life worth, if Johnny wasn't in it?