illusioningin

Latest Posts by illusioningin

” The Formula of Love “

 ” ( ∂ + m ) ψ = 0 “

Dirac equation in quantum physics that defines :

” If two systems interact with each other for a certain period of time and then are separated , can no longer be described as two distinct systems , but in some way , they become a single system. In other words , what happens to one of them continues to influence the other , even if light-years away kilometers”.

manwhore. bisexual. incest. eating disorder. poet. cheater. aristocrat. bipolar. celebrity. single dad of bastards. died in a war.

lord byron, you are my dream.

y'all simply cannot convince me you're happy with these nonchalant people. i need mine insane and passionate about me

LUCY DACUS debuts new song at brooklyn steel 10/8/24

clasping your necklace / zipping your dress / hands on your waist / kissing your neck / i love your body / i love your mind / they will change / so will mine

but you are my best guess at the future / you are my best guess / if i were a gambling man / i am / you’d be my best bet

tracing your tan lines / making you mine / if this doesn’t work / i’ll lose my mind / and after a while / i will be fine / but i don’t wanna be fine / i want you, you

you are my best guess at the future / you are my best guess / if i were a gambling man / i am / you’d be my best bet / here is the church / here is the steeple / you were looking for saints / but you only found people / ‘aint that just the way it goes / i watched you fall from grace / you were graceful

after all / it’s a small world / you may not be an angel / but you are my girl / you are my pack a day / you are my favorite place / you were my best friend before

you were my best guess at the future / you are my best guess / if i were a gambling man / i am / you’d be my best bet / you are my best guess at the future / you are my best guess / if i were a gambling man / i am / you’d be my best bet

it was a stroke of genius to give James T Kirk a bitchy flip phone in the 60's, truly amazing to watch him slam it shut like a pissed off socialite girl in 2000's teen shows

― Louise Glück, October

Susan Sontag: The complete Rolling Stone Interview 

“Don’t touch me! Don’t question me! Don’t speak to me! Stay with me!”

— Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

✨Pretty floor mosaics✨

— Jay Vespertine (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

i pick at memories like scabs on juvenile knees

and i bleed when i could be change,

but i am both the bird and the tarnished cage.

i think some people are steel-toe boots and some of them are sidewalks;

some people live and learn the names of humans, of streets just to run away,

and some of them are cities forged and born to always stay.

and if life is a tree, i have to say, some days i want to leave,

but i think my birthmark is a footprint, and i'm bona fide concrete.

— concrete // melancholy galaxies (t.e.t.)

heavenly words

aliferous: (adj.) having wings

apricity: (n.) the warmth of the sun in the winter

aspectabund: (adj.) letting emotion show easily through the face or eyes

aurora: (n.) dawn

balter: (v.) to dance gracelessly, but with enjoyment

cafune: (n.) the act of running your fingers through the hair of someone you love

catharsis: (n.) release of emotional tension

charmolypi: (n.) a mixed feeling of happiness while being sad

diaphonous: (adj.) light, translucent, and delicate

dulcet: (adj.) sweet

ephemeral: (adj.) fleeting

ethereal: (adj.) extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world

eutony: (n.) the pleasantness of a word’s sound

halcyon: (adj.) a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful

illecebrous: (adj.) enticing

irenic: (adj.) promoting peace

kalon: (n.) beauty that is more than skin-deep

kalopsia: (n.) the seeing of things as more beautiful than they actually are

lacuna: (n.) a blank or missing part

lilt: (n.) a pleasant gentle accent

ludic: (adj.) full of fun and high spirits

meraki: (n.) to do something with love or soul

nefelibata: (n.) cloud-walker; one who lives in the clouds of their own imagination

nepenthe: (n.) something that makes one forget their sadness

nubivagant: (adj.) wandering in the clouds

numinous: (adj.) feeling fearful yet awed and inspired

orphic: (adj.) beyond ordinary understanding

pyrrhic: (adj.) won at too great a cost

pulchritudinous: (adj.) breathtaking, heartbreaking beauty

scintilla: (n.) a tiny trace or spark of a feeling

selcouth: (adj.) unfamiliar, strange, yet marvelous

sirimiri: (n.) a light drizzle of rain

susurrus: (n.)  whispering, murmuring, or rustling

sweven: (n.) a dream

temerate: (v.) to break a bond or promise

viridity: (n.) innocence

yonderly: (adj.) absent-minded

Sufjan Stevens | Futile Devices

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve memorized your face It’s been four hours now since I’ve wandered through your place And when I sleep on your couch I feel very safe And when you bring the blankets I cover up my face I do love you And when you play guitar I listen to the strings buzz The metal vibrates underneath your fingers And when you crochet I feel mesmerized and proud And I would say I love you, but saying it out loud It’s hard so I won’t say it at all, and I won’t stay very long But you are the life I needed all along I think of you as my brother, although that sounds dumb And words are futile devices

Little things that help moods:

- getting enough sunshine - opening the curtains - eating regular meals - short walks with your favourite music - don’t stay up until 3am - don’t try to relate to tumblr text posts - get off tumblr/social media if it’s unhealthy - shower - don’t stay in bed the whole day - plan out your day - listen to music - change your clothes - set yourself small goals - say yes to fun events - drink water, it takes 5 seconds - talk to a close friend - remind yourself: a bad mood can lie to you - you’re not unwanted or hopeless - you deserve love so be nice to yourself

it's amazing how ordinary objects can become so significant to only the owner

well guess who took a lot of money to destroy oneself

Girlpool—Before the World Was Big // memorial bench quoting Toni Morrison's Sula // @inanotherunivrse // Iain S. Thomas, I Wrote This For You // Zadie Smith, Swing Time // Fall Out Boy—The Kids Aren't Alright // Audrey Emmett // Mikko Harvey, "For M" // Mahmoud Darwish, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi) // Langston Hughes, "Poem"

Letter to a Lost Friend, Barbara Hamby

climbing into a giant’s lap and laying down on their thigh and letting out the biggest most saddest pathetic sighs in the world until i get attention

10.20.19

anxiety is nicotine.

and by that, I mean the way it seeps through my veins faster than coffee but slower than blood.

Depression is lukewarm coffee at 9pm on a Tuesday.

and by that, I mean every day runs at warp speed / and I miss the milestones

my blood is made of

nicotine and coffee / muffins and tea / poison and toast

Anxiety is nicotine / and by that I mean / I am trying to quit / but like clouds before a thunderstorm / you'll follow me through

Girlpool—Before the World Was Big // memorial bench quoting Toni Morrison's Sula // @inanotherunivrse // Iain S. Thomas, I Wrote This For You // Zadie Smith, Swing Time // Fall Out Boy—The Kids Aren't Alright // Audrey Emmett // Mikko Harvey, "For M" // Mahmoud Darwish, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi) // Langston Hughes, "Poem"

Letter to a Lost Friend, Barbara Hamby

and I don’t want the world to see me ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand when everything’s made to be broken I just want you to know who I am