Illusoryxdays - Illusoryxdays

| 13 february 2025 |

lecture notes from e&m. this is one of the nicer looking ones haha, kinda struggling with e&m but it seems like it gets better in the 2nd half of the semester (hopefully)

🎧 highway robbery — de'wayne

13.05.25 —Working on a presentation rn that needs to be done by 8 this evening and it reminds me of what I don’t like about university. First, I have to do it alone, despite the fact that the prof said it would be groups of two to three. Just no one else was interested in the topic I volunteered for so now I'm the only one working alone while everyone else in the seminar will work with two partners. Prof could have done something about this but I guess they didn’t care. I also have to present it all alone later, which is never something I look forward to, but it becomes a whole lot worse when I have to do it all alone. Nice.

I have to read six whole papers in the span of a weekend when everyone else has to read just two. And I have to figure out an outline for the presentation completely by myself and then judge which aspects to allocate what amount of time to. Something I could use critical feedback on. And half assing it feels so bad when I'm the only one who worked on the presentation. Life could really be better at the moment.

monday | april 14

pretty sure i blinked at the end of march and the first two weeks of the term passed instantly? i've been busy, but gratifyingly so – i'm learning so much and always having something to do is helping me fend off procrastination.

| 29 april 2025 |

wow april is almost over... trying to balance end of the semester TAing and studying for final 🤪 also the cherry blossom picture is from like a week ago haha

🎧 1x1 — bring me the horizon, nova twins

being a stem major with high love for humanities feels like being in a business marriage with a rich high class wife and having a constant affair with a dark academia mistress

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

25/05/15

Could not, for the life of me, get the lighting to cooperate in the library. I did, however, get a metric shit ton of work done.

14.05.2025 // catching up with readings

love all the reading I've been doing lately. it is also exciting to see my library build up over the years, especially now that I can afford to buy some of the books I have wanted for years. recommendations from friends and acquaintances have also helped me expand my reading choices beyond my usual categories and genres. the tbr list keeps growing and it's a reason to live for.

Thursday, the 15th of May 2025

After I came home from rowing, I couldn't move a muscle. We hadn't the time for a break out on the water and had foolishly chosen a more difficult to handle boat while also not having someone to steer it. It was exhausting to do both. I kept turning around since it was busy out on the canals and I had to steer us with the sculls myself. Nevertheless, I adore being out with the boat. The sky and sun are bright, the wind refreshing and on the shores sit happy people: reading, playing with their dogs, having a barbecue or a drink. I too treated myself but to a pizza and quiet night with a book. Despite that, I carried the exhaustion into the new day and find it difficult to focus on my Czech essays. Somehow I have the ludicrous expectation to make it perfect, all-encompassing, when a good reflection is simply dependent on a specific question and a well-conceived argument.