Thinking About How Odysseus Carved The Wedding Bed Out Of An Olive Tree, Which Means The Bed Is Rooted

4am and im thinking about a time travel/time loop au where jason is reliving his death over and over again. its been years since that day in ethiopia, and more than terror — jason is tired. he sees this same event, word for word, metal against bone, blood in his mouth every day of his life. reliving it is no different than seeing it every time he closes his eyes.

until, he notices that the jokers smile growing wider and more sinister might not just be his imagination. then the third, or fourth time the day starts again, the joker changes the script. he can't help but adlib an extra insult in between the torture, too high with power and glee.

and all of a sudden jason is revitalised. in just one second, it's no longer I'm stuck in this horrifying time loop, it's We're in this time loop and I'm not stuck with you — you're stuck with me.

jason discovers new ways to torture (hyperbolically and literally) the joker now that he knows they're stuck in this impossible infinity together for a unforeseeable stagnant future. it starts as a game, only because the joker hasn't yet realised jason's the only one playing. it's too late when he realises that jason can do whatever he wants, because the day resets no matter what, and they'll see each other and jason will be ready with a new way to get his vindication.

very quickly, jason looks forward for the day to start again. he's still got 42 plans against the joker he wants to enact, and he doesn't think his thirst for revenge it yet quelled.

except — a couple miles away, someone else keeps waking up too. this is his worst nightmare come alive. the universe knows no bounds of cruelty and he's barely hanging on to the thread. what is this, the fifteenth, twentieth time he's been forced to relive this horrible day? he can't do this anymore. he's always too late.

bruce can never save jason.

Name

"Helana, behind you."

"It's alright, Helena."

"Helena."  

"Helena-"

"Ya know, Q," Helena began, easily ducking away from a punch thrown by a third rate goon, "You're pretty cavalier with my real name, for a paranoid guy like you."

The thug seemed enraged by her nonchalance, but that barely pinged on her radar as her boyfriend responded, "I'll make sure no one finds out your identity," his voice was distracted as he downloaded the file, like her concern was not a concern at all, "So it doesn't matter."

"Constantly making sure it stays secret seems like a waste of time and effort," she retorted, growing tired of playing with her adversary and delivering a hook right under his jaw that knocked him flat. Now that all the hired muscle was out of her way, she cracked her knuckles as she approached Question.

He pulled the drive out of the computer, slipping it into his pocket. Before he spoke, he paused thoughtfully, and lifted his leg to kick the computer screen in.

"It's a trifle for me."

"Q, you're really-"

Wait. Q didn't brag about stuff like that. And he had better things to focus on than constantly monitoring his, uh, network(?) to make sure her true identity didn't reach the wrong ears. He must have a reason... oh. 

Oh, baby doll.

Quick as a flash, she fired a bolt from his crossbow that whizzed past his head to catch his attention.

"Any reason for the failed assassination attempt? You normally don't miss."

She hooked the weapon back on her belt, approaching her boyfriend with the kind of conviction in her eye that led to men being dead in every sense but the legal one, and he was smart enough to back up. Eventually, the back of his knees hit the office chair that he had risen from earlier, and he fell into sitting in it with a soft thump.

"I have a theory, Q. Humor me for a minute."

He swallowed thickly at her low tone, and nodded, clearly thankful for the impassivity of expression inherent to his mask.

She reached his spot and boxed him in by putting both hands on each arm of the chair, "I was wondering why you'd go through all the trouble of tempting fate with my identity. You don't take unnecessary risks, right? Except you do. In one circumstance."

Leaning in, her black hair framed her face like a dark halo, the effect accentuated by the flickering overhead light that had been broken by a stray bullet in the earlier brawl. His avenging angel. His heart rate increased at a concerning pace, "When you want to impress me, you can get a little reckless, huh baby doll? You get off on the thrill of protecting me. That's why you do it- you make a situation where you create and solve the problem."

She pulled his tie loose from his vest, yanking it forward so her unmasked nose bumped into his masked one, "I unraveled one of your little mysteries. How's that make you feel, baby?"

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?"

She laughed, nearly low purr, "Let's make it quick."

"Good. Very."

She let go of his tie, but not before hooking a finger under the knot and loosening it just a bit, "As much as I like putting on a show, let's head back before these idiots wake up so you can do whatever it is you need to with that data, and then I can give you your reward for being honest," her smirk grew as she whispered, "Vic."

For the first time, he found that being bested at his own game wasn't so bad at all.•

I love when power imbalance is brought up in relation to Bingqiu because two steps to the left, over in moshang, you would think that the demon prince that beats up his emotional support human minion is where it’s weird but Shang Qinghua is actually at least twenty years older and also the god of the world who designed the demon prince to be his ideal man.

Shang Qinghua also had at least two canon opportunities to kill MBJ with no repercussions and decided he was simply too hot to die.

MBJ is only as terrible as he wants to be because SQH spoils him rotten and moved with every intent to put him on the throne.

Annie Cresta really was that girl. She had the living legend and sex symbol of Panem Finnick Odair, whom everyone in the nation wanted so hopelessly in love with her that he could not function at all and had to be sedated numerous times when she was taken by the Capitol.

The JL fight a magic user who casts a spell on everyone where their biggest weakness will be displayed above their heads. If Batman takes notes later, then that’s not on him.

There’s the predictable ones like Hal where it says ‘Yellow’, Clark says ‘Kryptonite’, and Martian Manhunter ‘Fire’.

But then there’s the one where you need to interpret like Flash halving ‘Bound’, the Hawks having ‘Clipped’ which pertains to their wings or even the ‘Pride’ on Doctor Fate.

What’s weird is that Batman and Captain Marvel of all people have the same word:

‘Adoption’

Little does everyone know that it’s for two entirely different reasons. Batman can’t help but adopt. Batson doesn’t want to be adopted.

No one knows Captain Marvel is secretly a kid, so everyone thinks he’s like Batman, but just doesn’t adopt (or thinks Freddy & Mary or the Vasquez kids are actually his if they are in AU). But for the sake of comedy, let’s not have them.

Batman thinks there is some kind of kinship, and asks how he battles the urge to adopt? Captain Marvel is trying really hard to not run away (he doesn’t want to get adopted, especially not by Batman, the puns enough are going to be atrocious).

It would look something like this:

Bruce: and that’s how I got all my kids. Or at least most of them. I’m not sure if technically family friends count, but they still got their parents, you know?

Billy, does not in fact know: yeah… darn those parents ammi right

Ollie, wondering if they should put Cap in the JL parent group: oh, do you have any kids?

Billy: oh no, I can’t (Cue misunderstandings)

Bruce: I understand the urge to adopt is real, good on you for not giving in. We live a dangerous life style

Billy: We’ll we can’t help the fae brain

Bruce: the what?

Billy, he just heard the term before and thought it was the common word: you know, when you just want to keep and raise a kid for yourself

Bruce, thinking of the numerous tales of witches and fae using first born children as payment only to realise it’s their way of adoption: … huh

Billy, just wants to escape and hug his tiger: oh it’s really fine. Anyways I need to bounce, but we’ll see each other on Mondays meeting

Proceeds to ruffle everyone’s hair (he can’t help it, he’s taller than anyone and enjoys the feeling of ruffling hair instead of having his hair ruffled)

Batman: oh OH

Cue most misunderstanding where they think Marvel mentally adopted them. They all have daddy issues anyways, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise when they try to be the fae brain favourite.

HAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WERENT GETTING DAD MARVEL, BUT JUMPED ON THAT BANDWAGON THE SECOND IT CAME OUT

My favorite obkk take, or not even obkk specifically really but in general Kakashi and Obito take, is that no matter how much Obito hates Kakashi or crazy he gets, he will NEVER regret or allow anyone to undermine his choice to give him his eye. That was HIS choice to make, HIS eye to give, and fuck Kakashi but he will keep Obitos gift to him— a literal part of himself, half of his own soul if you believe Uchiha myths on their souls being stored in their eyes —in him.

Fic where Kakashi for some reason loses Obito's eye (bloodline hunters / enemy nin / orochimaru(??)) And Obito descends upon the thief with an ungodly sort of fury then replants the eye into a still delusional w pain Kakashi's skull.

Maybe throw in some tight grip on his face, hissed threats of "don't you fucking dare lose this again you worthless dog"'s and threatening light presses of his thumb against his eyelid as Kalashi lays there and looks like he's having some sort of religious experience while still partially out of his mind from the drugs they gave him for the surgery

pushing my princess geto agenda

You Know Not All of Us Were Assholes, Right?

Because of the fact that Marvel debuted in the 1950s, people thought he was all of the -ics and -isms.

Marvel: *staring at a gay couple making out* “Ew.”

Robin!Tim: “Woah, man.”

Marvel: “What?”

Robin!Tim: “Look, I understand things were different for you back then, but times have changed. Being gay is accepted nowadays.”

Marvel: “I thought being happy was always accepted? Was being happy not good at some point?”

Robin!Tim: “No- uh being a homosexual is accepted nowadays.”

Marvel: “Oh. Well, that’s just dandy! All their protesting and fighting made a real difference, huh?”

Robin!Tim: “Yes!” *pauses* “You sound surprisingly happy about that.”

Marvel: “Why wouldn’t I be? Those people were treated like scum and were forced to protest basic rights. Isn’t that a good thing?”

Robin!Tim: “Yes, but you just said ew to them.”

Marvel: “Why wouldn’t I…? Those guys were full tongue kissing in public. It was disgusting. Like two dogs, lapping at each other’s faces.” *shivers*

or

Marvel: “Wait… So you were a girl that became a boy. Why?”

Trans Person: “Well, I just wanted to be one.”

Marvel: “Oh.” *stares a for a moment* “Well, you certainly did a good job. I wasn’t able to tell you were ever a girl at some point.”

Trans Person: “That’s kinda what the testosterone was for.”

Marvel: “Testosterone?”

Trans Person: “It’s something I take to become a boy.”

Marvel: “Wow… People have really come so far.” *sounds so amazed*

or

Female Hero: “What? Are you looking down on me?”

Marvel: “No-”

Female Hero: “I’ll have you know that women have come far from the lowly housewives you might’ve seen them as fifty odd years ago.”

Marvel: “Yeah… I know. You know I’ve worked with Bulletgirl, right? And Mary. All I did was comment about how you were being a little reckless, which you are being you’ve thrown and missed multiple cars at a singular villain. Why are you insulting housewives all of a sudden?” *sounds extremely concerned*

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Dementus I hate you