Can we just talk for a second about how Disney fully could have leaned into the crazy Latina women and husbands who roll their eyes at it, but Felix is always so fuckin quick to validate her. Not one crazy joke, not even a single comment, just fully encourages her to feel her emotions.
when she’s crying at Antonio’s ceremony, he could fully have been like yo chill stop being dramatic, but all he says is love, you’re gonna get him wet. Not a, don’t cry, not an omg stop, just a gentle reminder to move the cloud over a little.
And with the whole hurricane wedding, he’s not, oh she ruined the weather or ugh it was a disaster. Just a, what a joyous day. Like she’s warning mirabel and he’s like fuck yeah I get to talk about one of the best days of my life
Look how fucking happy he is, getting pelted by hail by his fucking goddess of a wife
The JL fight a magic user who casts a spell on everyone where their biggest weakness will be displayed above their heads. If Batman takes notes later, then that’s not on him.
There’s the predictable ones like Hal where it says ‘Yellow’, Clark says ‘Kryptonite’, and Martian Manhunter ‘Fire’.
But then there’s the one where you need to interpret like Flash halving ‘Bound’, the Hawks having ‘Clipped’ which pertains to their wings or even the ‘Pride’ on Doctor Fate.
What’s weird is that Batman and Captain Marvel of all people have the same word:
‘Adoption’
Little does everyone know that it’s for two entirely different reasons. Batman can’t help but adopt. Batson doesn’t want to be adopted.
No one knows Captain Marvel is secretly a kid, so everyone thinks he’s like Batman, but just doesn’t adopt (or thinks Freddy & Mary or the Vasquez kids are actually his if they are in AU). But for the sake of comedy, let’s not have them.
Batman thinks there is some kind of kinship, and asks how he battles the urge to adopt? Captain Marvel is trying really hard to not run away (he doesn’t want to get adopted, especially not by Batman, the puns enough are going to be atrocious).
It would look something like this:
Bruce: and that’s how I got all my kids. Or at least most of them. I’m not sure if technically family friends count, but they still got their parents, you know?
Billy, does not in fact know: yeah… darn those parents ammi right
Ollie, wondering if they should put Cap in the JL parent group: oh, do you have any kids?
Billy: oh no, I can’t (Cue misunderstandings)
Bruce: I understand the urge to adopt is real, good on you for not giving in. We live a dangerous life style
Billy: We’ll we can’t help the fae brain
Bruce: the what?
Billy, he just heard the term before and thought it was the common word: you know, when you just want to keep and raise a kid for yourself
Bruce, thinking of the numerous tales of witches and fae using first born children as payment only to realise it’s their way of adoption: … huh
Billy, just wants to escape and hug his tiger: oh it’s really fine. Anyways I need to bounce, but we’ll see each other on Mondays meeting
Proceeds to ruffle everyone’s hair (he can’t help it, he’s taller than anyone and enjoys the feeling of ruffling hair instead of having his hair ruffled)
Batman: oh OH
Cue most misunderstanding where they think Marvel mentally adopted them. They all have daddy issues anyways, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise when they try to be the fae brain favourite.
HAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WERENT GETTING DAD MARVEL, BUT JUMPED ON THAT BANDWAGON THE SECOND IT CAME OUT
Tim? Jealous? Absolutely not, how could you even think that?
You know as soon as Dick finds about this he will convince the entire family to gift Bernard with their merchandise just to mess with Tim, is what a good brother would do 😌
It's a year after Damian came to live with them that he decides it is an excellent time to bombard Bruce with his news.
"I had a blood brother." He says to Tim after the other commented how important blood meant to Bruce-ie, not enough to make him get rid of his other sons. "He was the first from the artificial womb mother made with Father's DNA; however, he was disposed of once his heart condition became known. I highly doubt you will last even twice as long Drake-"
"What"
Bruce didn't know that he could make his voice that cold. That dead. What in the world does he mean disposed.
Damian goes still. The kind of still where he isn't sure if he just earned a punishment and is trying not to react to the fear. "My elder brother. Did mother not inform you?"
"Damian," Bruce struggles to level his tone at Dick's hard stare. "She hadn't even informed me of you. Please, can you explain more about your brother."
The youngest nods. "He had no name, but he was my biological brother. He was forced to grow to age of three before they realized he was defective. Grandfather had him sacrificed to the pit."
Jason growls "what do you mean?"
Damian looks confused- as confused as he can with his league training kicking in. "The Lazarus pit is made from the bodies of young virgins. No older then ten. They are sacrificed in exchange for the Infinite Realms' power to sink into the water. The children are not aware of what is happening to them until the very end. They do not suffer."
Bruce feels sick.
They talk a bit more, on how certain followers throughout history were more then happy to offer the great Ra's their own children to renew the pit. How Damain had watched three children when he was seven be sacrifice- it happened every five years- and how the children were given the best week of their lives.
They purposely given the most joy they could feel before the blades to make the Pit as pure as possible. He talked a lot about watching the youngest- five years- be laughing and splashing in the Lazarus water before his mother cut him down, his screams drowning in the green liquid.
"They say the Pit absorbs the last emotion of the sacrifice. Grandfather hopes the children realize the importance and honor they have to be ended for a glorious cause, but occasionally a few are disloyal. When Todd had taken a dip, the previous Renew, had a brilliant girl who figured out what was happening and attempted to escape. She failed, of course, and her arm was amputated in a mission, but she died angry. That's why Todd had such strong madness compared to-!"
"SHUT UP!" Jason roars suddenly, eyes glowing green, and for a brief moment, Bruce swears he hears an undertone of a young girl in his scream "SHUT UP! YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING! YOUR OWN BROTHER IS IN THERE"
Damain scowls "it's a honor. My brother's body was defective. But he at least had aidded in a glorious ritual."
Bruce can't help it; he leans over the BatCave Railing and hurls his dinner. Damian finally realizes that something is wrong.
They host a funeral for his three-year-old son, who died without a name, and place his gravestone next to his parents. They explain to Damian why the Renewal ritual is horrific but Bruce feels it take years before his son can see that.
Jason, went out into Crime Alley to let off some steam and had been going on a rampage against the underbelly of Gotham. He can't find it I'm himself to stop him.
Bruce asks Constantine to come over and do a small ritual, to hopefully unbound his child and let his son soul move on. Constantine warns that with the kid's name it may not work and that they could only free souls they share blood to but the English man tries anyway.
They send his son their prayers, and hopes. And they try to put him to rest.
Across the Infinite Releams to three dimensions to the right of the Wayne's soul resting ritual, The Fenton's adoptived son, Danny Fenton jolts in his English Class.
The strange stabbing scar above his heart- which is why he never takes off his shirt- burns then cools as if someone had tried to place the temperature-changing ointment. He rubs his best, confused.
What was that?
He'll have to check with FrostBite. Maybe his heart condition is acting up again. It happens every five years even though no doctors his parents have taken him to could figure out what it was.
Until Frostbite. The yeti claimed it had something to do with dark arts, but he's unsure what type.
Frostbite is still doing more testing.
"I wish you had lived, brother. I wish I knew you name"
The wind whispers, and Danny feels a flash of deep longing and grief before it's gone. Yeah, he needs to talk to Frostbite.
I'm convinced that if Shang Qinghua decided to start writing and publishing after transmigrating, he would be like an invasive species. Like that cat that killed all the birds on that one island.
Airplane was a maniac who banged out 10k chapters while competing with millions of other writers on the attention market. This is a guy who had to know how to game the algo for attention if he wanted to have enough money for food.
And PIDW's world has what, maybe a few hundred people both literate and willing to write fiction? Airplane would eat these people for lunch. While they were poetically crafting new metaphors and delicately staging each scene, SQH would be creating the most id-stroking lowest common denominator trash imaginable.
He would not only smoke the competition, but introduce to this world every terrible, cheap trick of the hack writer. Everything ends in cliffhangers. Stakes constantly rising. Bullshit plot devices to contrive as much masturbatory emotional catharsis as possible. And he'd be selling like gangbusters.
Number 8 in the wip game
"Meet Me in the Middle": A Billy + SuperSons fic! They're all the same age.
Damian and Jon want to go to the same school. While Bruce and Clark are glad that their sons became friends, they don't exactly want their sons to go to a school in the other's city.
Clark is a bit skeptical about sending Jon to Gotham every day because it's Gotham, and it will take Damian hours to get to Metropolis from Gotham. No, he won't be taking a plane or helicopter just to go to and from school every weekday. Do you know how much pollution that would make? And no Clark, you can't fly Damian either, that would draw too much attention.
They try to find a middle ground, maybe a school somewhere in between their paths. Ultimately, they choose one somewhere near the middle of their destinations. It's in Fawcett City, home of their most cheerful coworker.
Damian thinks he'll use this as an opportunity to uncover the Captain's secret identity, he let it slip once that he did have one. He'll do the one thing his father couldn't, but he'll need an excuse to spend more time in Fawcett outside of school. Maybe it'll be under the guise of making a new friend. Hmmm yes, this kid in the red sweater will do.
Jon is more than happy to see Damian gain an interest in making new friends. Billy seems like a fun guy to hang out with, he'll befriend him too!
--------
Billy: *Overhearing Superman and Batman talking about how excited Superboy and Robin are to go the same school together*Good for them, good for them
Billy: *Suddenly remembering that conversation after becoming friends with the only kids from Metropolis and Gotham* 😲
Idk where exactly the cities are but I know that Gotham City is in New Jersey, Metropolis is in New York, and Fawcett City is in Pennsylvania.
Metropolis will be in more north of New York, Gotham more south in NJ, and Fawcett will be next to where the three states meet.
Here's a map to be more helpful (will most likely move Metropolis and Gotham to be closer to Fawcett but you get the idea):
Natsu: I cut my finger
Lucy: I can kiss it so it'll get better
Natsu: That works?
Lucy: Yeah my mum used to do it when I was little
*later*
Natsu: I need you to punch me in the mouth
Gray: Fucking finally
Most of the other women in fiction when the love interest is a bad man: its okay, i can fix him. Ill change him <3
Inej Ghafa: no one can change this mf. If he loves me, he'll change himself
you wouldnt think it when meeting him for the first time but the lord of an ding is quite the smoker
You know what, I don't care what anyone says, this is the funniest line and scene to me in Dragons: Race to the Edge;
Just something about him picking fun of his lack of leg and inability to say no to Astrid's ideas for the price of one line is hilarious to me.
AU where Billy Batson is investigating some random magic issue because his powers have been depleted as a consequence, meaning he temporarily can’t be Captain Marvel, but he somehow accidentally tips off Zatanna who’s working in the watchtower that day. She senses the sudden lack of magic in Fawcett City and tries to contact Marvel to warn him, but he can’t be reached so she calls up a few members of the JL to check it out because they want to make sure he’s okay.
Batman, Zatanna, The Flash, and Wonder Woman start wandering through Fawcett with no plan, just looking for some kind of sign that Cap is nearby, when they see this kid in a tattered red hoodie open a PORTAL, and they’re like what the fuck?! So they slip through the portal right before it closes and suddenly they’re in this infinite magical cave, and the boy is pissed. And he’s really not open to questions.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“None of your business.”
“Where are we?”
“Also none of your business.”
The heroes aren’t idiots, though. They know this kid has something to do with Cap’s disappearance, so they ask him questions until he finally gets tired of them and says, “I’m his…protégé.”
“Cap has a protégé?”
“Yes. That’s me.”
“Prove it.”
“Superman works as a news reporter at the Daily Planet.”
“…Oh shit.”
Batman tries to talk to him about how he shouldn’t know this kind of stuff but the kid hits him back with, “You have like ten kids who know everyone’s identities too. Why are Captain Marvel and I suddenly breaking protocol?” Point taken.
So now there’s this magical kid who’s apparently in line to become the next Champion of Magic who knows all of the JL’s secrets through Captain Marvel, and they still don’t know WHERE Cap is so they take him back to the watchtower and try to get as much info from him as possible. It only makes them more confused.
“Where is Captain Marvel?”
“He’s stuck in eternity.”
“What does that mean?”
“He doesn’t have a corporeal form right now.”
“He- what the fuck? How did that happen?”
“His powers were depleted after a big fight last week.”
“But is that reversible?”
“That’s what I was working on.”
“And what were you doing, exactly?”
“I was…trying to help him get his strength back.”
“Okay? How can we help?”
“Umm, you can’t.”
“Is he okay? In eternity?”
“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it.”
“How do you know he’s okay?”
“We…have a…shared consciousness?”
“Excuse me??”
“I take it back.”
“You can’t just take that back?!“
“It’s Champion of Magic stuff, okay?! You wouldn’t understand!”
The kid’s story just keeps getting weirder and weirder until he refuses to answer questions, leaving them more in the dark than they were before.