Latest Posts by individual-prisoner - Page 3

Pls I need sleep ☺

🌸 You're not in the track, when you think you clinging with me will make you something more than my acquaintances. Where I don't grow, where I don't flourish, where there is lack of personality and intellect, I leave. I won't hurt you with the truth, I won't shut the door over you without giving you a peek about me and forgetting that you like me in the first place. I love, I pay back, but I'll pursue gestures that will show you instances of where we're not togather and your self respect still remains. I may avoid you, normalize you from something special, and you won't realize where the bondings are going loose. Eventually it will hurt you less, because I'll make you forget me.🌸

Fr somebody teach me this :)

You're my star, during my night🌟

But sometimes, you're too bright,

For me. :(

I can't engulf all your charms,

fading my own pale ones. 🌸

🍁It would be hard for me~

It would be hard for me act indifferent while I'm suspicious and sometimes right, all those pair of eyes in this open world are swallowing me whole while I do nothing but walk alone, beside the stand. It would be hard to breathe while I'm having that ache inside my chest out of anxiety when I listen about others and imagine, how horrible the judgment might be while talking behind someones back.

It would be hard to wake up early in the morning while only 24hrs seem like a huge unknown ocean of "what ifs" and "would happen". It would be hard for me to be lonely with this "bitter" version of myself. It would be hard, nearly impossible for me for not to care what others opine, for I used to grow up amidst compliments and I've learned "how people see us define ourselves ". It would be hard to walk with blacked out visions and endless palpitition almost through my ribs.

It would be hard to see myself being hard on this submissive entity, recklessly pushing herself off the cliff while maintaining that obsessive urge to be "perfect". I choose to be ordinary, I fear I might be inherently "weird" and I'll, along with all the people will judge myself for that.🍁

🖤

It is sad how an everlasting grief is forced upon us. We did not choose this, we were made like this. You can get out of an abusive relationship, but how do you find an out with a physically overwhelming and emotionally draining relationship with your own parents? Nobody ever wrote a guide to surviving that. And how it can crush your soul with agonising pain, a lot harder than any heartbreak or death can bring. I have mastered the art of detachment but this is the battle I do not know how to win. I feel more like a stranger to my parents than any other stranger I meet on the sidewalks.

- Ax

Hehe🌚 <333

🌷 here is a flower for anyone not feeling their best today

Create a captivating paradox of perfectly put imperfections of you,

while narrating yourself. 😊

‘Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’

~ dylan thomas

|| June 18 ; 2022 ||

💮 Taking a chance to look back at the same time in the mid June an year ago, when this was the exact time I was wishing for an undo button for myself and was regretting my vulnerability. There was this strange utopian wish to turn everything upside down, and cursing undecisiveness, but here I am, an year later in this exact same date, sitting and chilling with monsoon. Though it's no better, but I believe I survived, all by myself, where I didn't have that hope to create my uncertain future anymore then, that I'm ambitious of creating this year, this time.💮

Me when I write a poem: Yearning for equanimity in such unavailing hour, I collapse, I despair, I weep…

Me when writing a school paper: Donating blood is important because blood is important. 

💮 It's okay to feel unsatisfied with what you love. We necessarily and unnecessarily grow. When it doesn't feel the best of you, you know you're turning better and better.💮

i wish hugs were more normalized. like a daily, everyday thing with everyone you meet regardless you know them that well or not. that would honestly boost so many relationships?? we need to spread more hugs in this world !!!

💮 Basically there are always opportunities, if "others" are not there.

• Picture Credit: Pinterest

💮 I've always had the best way with my words. I like the way they keep translating my own mind when my toungue is unable to speak out for me. Words have always been keeping me a step forward into presenting myself from being passive and existing in my life that I was forcibly given to.

They're always narrating and whispering those wispy tails of my mind to me. I would've never known how my life sounds like.They define me, describe me, they're always expressing the spalshes of my tears or the turbulent surge of emotions on behalf of me, with their only assurance to me that I'm not insane, or losing my mind.

They said that's what happens to humans when we live on our limitations, always.💮

This song brushing away my boredom with a sudden gust of heartache..🖤💫🖤

Every night I'm dancing with your ghost

Yelling at the sky, screaming at the world. Baby, why'd you go away? I'm still your girl

I scream into the void as I long for your embrace, surrounding me is the reality I no longer want to be a part of, if it isn't with you. Why did you leave me? I still have your name carved on my heart, a name which even a million tides cannot wash away.

Holding on too tight, head up in the clouds. Heaven only knows, where you are now

I'm showing up everyday, I'm here even when I'm not. I'm here, even though I wanna leave. I wonder as I gaze out from the window, where you are and if your soul is at peace, even though I'm here scattered in pieces. Still hoping like an idiot that you'll find your way back home.

How do I love, how do I love again? How do I trust, how do I trust again?

How will I ever love someone as deep as I loved you? How will I ever trust someone as strongly as I trusted you? These questions haunt me at night as I hold your sweater close to my haart, for I cannot let the essence of you escape into the labyrinth like you did.

I stay up all night, tell myself I'm alright. Baby, you're just harder to see than most. I put the record on, wait 'til I hear our song. Every night I'm dancing with your ghost, every night I'm dancing with your ghost.

My nights are filled with music from the mix tapes you made me, and swaying in the darkness with a little light from the fairy lights you gave me. It's hard to let go of someone so special, when they've made their home in your heart.

Never got the chance, to say a last goodbye. I gotta move on, but it hurts to try.

I never even got a chance to tell you all about how you saved me from myself, and how you made me want to live all my dreams with you. I never thought our goodbye would have to be so soon. I know I have to let go, but it hurts so bad to not hold onto you anymore, I had gotten so used to you, it aches me to think about how I won't wake up to your sleepy morning voice and your bedhead anymore.

How do I love, how do I love again? How do I trust, how do I trust again?

How will I ever live on, and let this be just another chapter in my story, when it feels like my story ended with you? How will I ever feel whole again, for you also took pieces of me when you left? How will I ever read the same books, listen to the same songs and walk the same roads, just all alone this time?

I stay up all night, tell myself I'm alright. Baby, you're just harder to see than most. I put the record on, wait 'til I hear our song. Every night I'm dancing with your ghost, every night I'm dancing with your ghost.

It breaks me, it hurts and it irks my insides. So I don't think about it anymore. I just put on the tunes of tomorrow and dance with my pretty past that is you. I'm torn between my todays, tomorrows and forevers. So I dance, I dance till it all blurs into one line, and I dance till I levitate and fly closer to you into heaven.

💮I know I'm sane,

till the time death scares me.💮

•Picture credit : pinterest

🍁 Is it even quite possible for a human being, to completely stop living in the present? It's always been the future I'm programming inside myself, more like always living in the future.🍁

▪|Picture Credit : Pinterest|

🍁 Healing is also a form of acceptance. Only thing is, this acceptance ain't forced. No painful denial phases, no repression, it's assured. It's not dry hopeless. It will all heal one day. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but it will at a time. And you'll still be young then. 🍁

▪| Picture credit: Pinterest |

💮Never have I tried to rewatch my past to narrate myself. I know it's a mess, it's random, but I can feel it something beautiful. Everything fall in place just like a story. Sometimes I welcome the circumstances which fall in place. I watch, suffer, break, but never intend to mess with the sequence. The mishappenings seems beautiful in a chaotic way, and perfectly put. I think, 'Won't be a nice storyline to narrate?'💮

|Picture Credit : Pinterest|

As a generation I think we should simply eliminate the prestige behind dark academia. I am broke. You’re broke. We are art majors. So, we should introduce Dark academia 2! (with less money then ever!)

@tessguinery

💮It is daring to love someone

the way you want love. The security,

The delicacy, the depth, in that

amount of love. Somebody gotta

be sure enough at first about not being judged

for insanity or for simply acting weird,

for decorating you with their tumbled pieces.💮

| Picture Credit - Pinterest |

Original thread:

https://mobile.twitter.com/DianaMiller5/status/1522278413096132609?cxt=HHwWgoC53deJnKAqAAAA

Note, I am finding these threads on the twitter feeds of ICU nurses who are now dreading the horrors that Roe falling will bring to their hospitals. This, on top of the horrors that they’ve seen and continue to see because of the pandemic. They were already exhausted and hanging by a thread.

"Not everything is about you"

💮 Such a statement, both a pain and and a peace. As you're growing older you realize you're actually not the centre of the universe. You actually now have to stand in the line of topics like just other people. Theres an intense ache inside your chest that now you know theres more like you, more without you. You knew it, but not exactly knew it in a level of accepting it about you unless you've heard it.

But you're blessed in a sense, you're now not the one entirely focused on. You're not the imagery of everything. You're not an idol, a symbol. You're ordinary, with no anxiety of being controversial for whatever you state. You can disappear, be yourself, isolate yourself, because you're one of the crowd, and people accept you as imperfect. People will judge, wonder, but you're not a trending topic. Isn't that less chaotic?💮

◆|Picture Credit : Pinterest |◆

💮Be careful what you perceive or learn from your past. You can't turn something into your source of pain and a jealousy of not being enough from where you were suppose create your strong fundamentals and nurture yourself. Be careful as well, whom you reveal it to. Your past isn't worthy of to be put out amidst every little argument. Putting up your past, this could be one of the easiest ways to break someone. Don't push yourself into that pathetic version of you.💮

▪|Picture credit - Pinterest|

💮"You are killing me, and you are keeping me from dying. That's love"💮

- | Mahmoud Darwish |

♠ You don't deserve something for what you'll pity yourself later on.

💮Sometimes, it's not quite possible for you to be a healer or a pleaser everytime. It's not possible to cure or recover every broken heart. Some people are not wise enough to let the angels penetrate in their heart and cure them. you're a living being, and everyone can't possibly open their heart to you. You can't blame them either. They've got trust issues. You killing yourself can't be enough to make them trust you. Some may have never met you from your perspective, but they've met similar versions of you so they possibly won't open themselves the same way to you either. Indeed, help, as much as you're capable of, but only when you're asked to. It's not selfish.💮

| Picture credit : Pinterest |

And suddenly, the splashes of rain smelled like a strange sensation of being everything alright, which I barely trust. The muddy petrichor gave me a deja vu of a life I've lost somewhere here. Perhaps the showerdrops will taste sweet, like childhood, or it may hurt as healing.

| PC Credit : Pintetest |