Commit To Your New Life.

HARPER’S BAZAAR MAY 1949

KODACHROMES BY ERNST BEADLE

Not too long ago I had an anon ask me how to fake it till she makes it in manifesting her luxury lifestyle. I gave a bit of advice (you should read that before finishing this) but I want to elaborate more on a certain aspect that is crucial to obtaining an ideal life: becoming your ideal self. That ask was focused on lifestyle, but what about the self glow-up? That’s where this guide comes in. I see a lot of guides where the OP tells you the type of woman you should become, and it’s usually based on their own idea of what is desirable. This is different. This is a barebones guide that requires you to think hard about yourself and what would satisfy you to live in your own skin. To no longer wish to be anyone else. To be the best version of YOU. Who is the the ideal woman you are aspiring to be?

Here’s how to start:

BUY the 12 Month Dream Girl Guide Planner here

Step 1: describe your dream girl and create a list of 12 essential qualities/skills she has. Things that are controllable by a person themselves, not reliant on another person or location. (Good: she drinks tea every day. Bad: her boyfriend makes tea for her every day)

Step 2: make a list of how you can acquire those qualities

Step 3: dedicate one quality to each month of the year and for every single day of that month, cultivate habits that will make those qualities now belong to you. 30 days is a great amount of time to build a habit that you can continue on with even after the target date has passed. It’s not too long to feel scary but it’s long enough to make really good progress. Plus you won’t feel overwhelmed about doing all of these new things at once. Just one quality at a time :)

Step 4: after 12 months, you will have dedicated 365 days to your own personal growth and transformation and will now emerge a brand new woman.

To make this even easier on you, I will create an example using a mix of things that are about me.

My dream girl is: a beautiful and fit domestic goddess who speaks multiple foreign languages, plays instruments, is a wiz in the kitchen, and has a killer style

12 qualities to create her:

Takes expert care of her outward appearance

Eats healthy and works out every day

Speaks french

Speaks korean

Speaks spanish

Plays piano

Cooks a proper meal every day

Always dresses well no matter what

Keeps her home spic and span

Manages her emotions well to always be kind and composed to others instead of combative and volatile

Is a minimalist

Studies hard in school

(When you make your list of 12 qualities, don’t worry about making them perfectly correspond to a certain month just yet. First, just get them all written down and then you can rearrange it later. For the sake of this, let’s just pretend that mine are in a perfect order as is)

January: takes expert care of her outward appearance

For January, I will spend 31 days focused on beauty. Every single morning and night I will do my skincare routine, a face mask, use my serums and exfoliants (when necessary), and make sure to apply sunscreen. I will get a skincare consultation if needed, I will schedule a dentist appointment or do at home teeth whitening treatments. I will take a bubble bath once a day and always make sure that I’m exfoliated. I will always make time to shave/wax/epilate/whatever and maintain manicured nails and eyebrows. My hair care will be completely on point because my hair will always be deep conditioned, well moisturized, and styled to perfection.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of taking care of your external appearance and will be used to looking and feeling a certain way)

February: eats healthy and works out every day

For February, I will find a list of healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and make sure to use them as my eating guide. I will watch my calories and eat foods that nourish my body. I will cut out sugary drinks and extra sweets and do a workout for at least 30 minutes every day. I will watch a lot of content on health and fitness to keep me on track and make sure that I know what I’m doing.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of making and eating healthy foods, have a 30 day workout streak, and will have a new relationship with your health and fitness. Because you have successfully committed a whole month to this lifestyle, it will be easier to keep it going to reach your body goals)

March: speaks French

For March, I will study french every day for at least an hour. I will watch french movies and tv shows, learn grammar and memorize vocabulary. I will always keep my flashcards on an app and study them frequently so that I don’t forget anything. I will find a french language exchange partner online and talk to them everyday so they can correct my mistakes.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will now be in the habit of studying a foreign language for a dedicated amount of time each and every day. This will get you to a strong start and make it much easier for you to continue learning the language as time moves forward)

November: is a minimalist

For November I will focus on living a minimalist lifestyle and being intentional with the items I allow into my space. I will go through my whole house and declutter all of the things that I don’t need. I will not buy things this month unless they are essentials to me and my growth. I will watch/read a lot of content on consumerism and try to understand why I own so many things. I will have a better relationship with my possessions and take better care of the things I own so that I won’t need to keep buying new ones.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will form a better relationship with your possessions and learn to let go of unimportant things. This will build the habit of being mindful of the things you allow into your space and allowing you to make better buying choices in the future)

You get the idea. So basically you will elaborate on each of the 12 qualities and make it very clear what your daily goals are for that month. The most important thing is to stick to it. You have to build the habit so that it becomes your new normal. This is how you acquire a new lifestyle and persona. You do it every day until it’s your default setting. You don’t call someone an a good student because they got an A one time, right? You call them a good student because they consistently demonstrate the actions that makes one a good student on a daily basis.

“But 2pretty! How can I stick to these things every day? What if I don’t feel like it sometimes?”

It’s all about discipline and consistency. Having your effort correspond to how badly you want something. Focusing on the big picture and sacrificing a little bit of comfort. Choosing to be your most excellent self rather than the easiness of staying the same. Growth is hard! But that’s what makes it worth it.

You all can sit here and read level up posts until you turn blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, The Ideal You can only emerge if you put in the work to become her. I believe in you.

I can’t wait to meet the new you in 12 months. See ya then.

Ladies, I want you to get crystal fucking clear on your goals, what you’re manifesting, what you want to attract into your life, the emotions you want to feel, and how you want to look. If I asked you right this second where do you see yourself in six months, this time next year, in five years could you tell me? Stop wasting your precious thought energy on these men who couldn’t care less about you. Stop waking up to check your phone. Stop living like a lost puppy with no focus or clear vision of your desires. I want you to claim your dreams, no matter how wild and far fetched CLAIM THEM. You want to live next to the ocean in a mansion and be a stay at home wife, CLAIM it. You want to be CEO of your own 7 figure business, claim the fuck out of your dreams. They are all yours for the taking. But you have to get clear, crystal fucking clear and start plotting. Make sure you have a journal to write down your dreams, write down your dreams and goals everyday and I promise you the universe will start plotting to make this all possible for you. ✨

how to visualize your desires easily:

here’s your daily reminder to visualize the person you want to and will become as soon as you wake up and as soon as you’re about to sleep.

you can do this process through using the 17 second method (steps listed below), guided visualization meditations, or whatever aligns with you.

the 17 second method:

“maintain a thought in your mind for 17 seconds, you can stimulate its energy vibrations. Going further, if you can hold on to the same thought for 68 seconds, the vibrations will rise dramatically and get amplified enough to manifest the thought”

steps:

1. set the mind on a positive note (i recommend listening to affirmations or sound healing to do so)

2. choose what you want to manifest. if you are a beginner, it may be easier to focus on one manifestation at a time.

3. think about the goal you want to manifest for 17 seconds. try to not let your mind wonder, if it does, be gentle with yourself. it is 100% okay!

4. when the 17 second alarm goes off, turn your attention back to your goal. now set a timer for 51 seconds. continue to focus on a sequence of thoughts related to your goal for 51 seconds.

5. let it go. remember: manifestation is a butterfly.

“manifestation is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder”

- quote inspired by nathaniel hawthorne

the guided meditation i used today:

https://youtu.be/6JgMOEINKqw

“Lord, what fools these mortals be!” ~ A Midsummer Night’s Dream

I can’t emphasise this lesson enough.

The ONLY way to truly grow, flourish and get what you want is to do the OPPOSITE of what your comfort zone tells you to do.

Everything you dream of in life? The incredible potential within you that is ready to be fulfilled? That’s all waiting for you on the other side of your comfort zone. When you’re faced with a decision that needs to be made, doing the scary thing will be what gives you the opportunities you need and desire; as well as turbocharging your inner evolution into someone stronger, self-respecting, smarter, savvier, happier and more confident. 

your desired self would not be worrying how your best life is going to come about. you are already living in it. you don’t have to physically embody it in your everyday lives, but it is needed to have that inner knowing of just being in the reality. try not to victimize yourself thinking that it’s not going to come because it is there to claim it with persistence.

Dream Girl Guide: How to Stay Productive

I saw this post on Twitter that said, "you're not overwhelmed, you're lazy and unmotivated." and to a certain extent, I agree. I definitely used to be a lazy, unmotivated person until I started working on my time management and organization skills. Here's how I did it:

Time Management

Get a planner

Everyone needs a planner; they are not just limited to students.

Find a planning system that is functional for you

I like to use a physical and digital planner:

A huge key to being consistently productive and organized is to make your task, especially reoccurring, as enjoyable and engaging as possible, which is why I like to use a physical planner; it allows me to be creative.

I like to keep it simple and just use stickers and washi tape; you want to make it enjoyable, but you don't want to take the focus away from the task at hand (planning)

The first photo is mine, but the other two are spreads by study_withashley that I've been using as inspo.

I use my digital planner for the "always on hand" convenience and the minimalistic layout. I use the apps Actions and Timepage; they are both a subscription ($2 a month), but it's super worth it!

Timepage is a calendar app with a monthly, weekly, and daily view; and Actions is for planning tasks (week view) and making lists.

You can change the background color and color-code your calendar and list. They have a 1-month free trial if you're interested!

How to efficiently plan

Monthly

♡ In your monthly and weekly view, write in any important dates that are set in stone (appointments, work and class schedule, due dates for assignments, tests/exams, birthdays, etc)

♡ Now that you have an idea of what your month will look like, on a notes section or sticky note, write down your own personal goals/action step, habits you want to practice or break, and unscheduled things you need to do. Don't overwhelm yourself - try to limit yourself to 5 in each category.

Daily

♡ Plan your days the night before - that way you have an idea of what your day is going to look like when you wake up and you can act accordingly. Don't plan days ahead; life is unpredictable.

♡ Schedule and prioritize 3 things every day; whether it's studying or having a self-care day.

Getting things done

♡ Set the tone - wake up early (at least by 9 am), fix your bed, and change out of your PJs.

♡ If you are going out, give yourself 1-2 hours to get ready. Avoid having to rush as much as possible.

♡ If you are staying home, have a designated space for getting work done - Some ideal spaces are at a desk, the library, Starbucks, and dining rooms. Do not work on a couch or bed.

♡ In addition, keep your space clean, and surround yourself with positivity and progressive things. Your environment affects your mood and productivity.

♡ If possible, stay ahead of your assignments to prevent stress and cramming.

♡ Like I said before, make your task as enjoyable as possible - Example: I don't like cleaning, so while I am, I watch vlogs of people being productive. It's motivating me while also distracting my brain from the fact that I'm cleaning. However, when it comes to more serious tasks, make them enjoyable, but not distracting.

♡ Use the Pomodoro technique to avoid burnout (no phone breaks!)

♡ Create routines - you don't literally have to follow a routine every day, but routines are good for days that you feel like you need some structure in your life.

♡ Stay emotionally aware and prioritize self-care - don't neglect yourself trying to get things done because, in the end, it will backfire. Every day take at least 5 minutes to do something that makes you feel good.

Thanks for reading

xoxo

“To change anything on the outside, you must become the change on the inside. How the changes will happen on the outside is not up to you. That is the job of the Universe. Your job is to radiate all good from the inside, and the outside circumstances will change to reflect the `all good´ inside you.”

- The Secret

morning affirmation

I will take care of my body and all it carries. I will gently wake up my skin with warm water and shimmering lotions, I will be delicate and patient with my tangled hair that represents my good night of needed sleep. I will feed my body the substances it requires to flourish and gift myself with steamy lavender tea and honey as he fog leaks through the screen of my windows. 

I am a beacon of light who will be soft and understanding to those around me who may be found in darker places in their own minds. I will reject the idea of taking others emotions personally. As one loads their bow with an arrow of negativity at me, I will consider why I am the target, or what I can provide to lower their weapons. I will not fight negativity with negativity, only with understanding and a soft heart. I will nourish my soul and stretch my body in the sun. I will care for myself deeply today.