Invisiblynumb

“I’m drowning.”

— “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I haven’t slept in days.”

— “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I don’t want to get out of bed.”

— “Let me know if you need anything.”

“It feels like everything is piling on top of me.”

— “Let me know if you need anything.”

Over and over,

I speak.

I crack open the door to my pain,

let pieces fall out,

quietly hoping someone will catch them.

But the words just echo back

into an empty hallway

with nothing but

“I’m here if you need anything”

to cushion the fall.

What does that even mean—

if no one’s really listening?

If no one knocks, no one checks in,

no one sits beside you

in the silence where words don’t reach.

Each time I say I’m not okay,

and it’s met with nothing but space,

it teaches me something:

my voice doesn’t matter here.

So I stop saying it.

I stop reaching out.

I stop hoping.

The loneliness grows louder.

The weight gets heavier.

And eventually,

even breathing feels like a burden.

“Let me know if you need anything”

isn’t comfort.

It’s a curtain drawn between me and the world.

It’s a phrase said to feel helpful,

without being helpful at all.

Because if no one listens,

if no one shows up,

then communication isn’t key—

it’s a locked door

with no one on the other side.

And eventually,

you stop knocking.

You stop trying.

You just let it all collapse.

ⁱᵐ ᶠᵃˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵖᵃʳᵗ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁱⁿ ᶠʳᵒⁿᵗ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵉʸᵉˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ ˢᵉᵉ ᵐᵉ

Happiness scares me because there is always a price to pay afterwards. ..

Theres two things in this life that can turn you into a monster. I found it and it found me. Innocence doesn’t fade, it rots. Go soft in the middle like a peach left too long. First it’s sweet then it makes you sick. Then it makes you hungry for something bad. Something real bad. Something that could swallow you whole. It was sweet, I was sweet. I was so sweet , too sweet and sweet don’t save you. It sits there and rots in your hands. I was black this year , that was the year I stopped crying, started watching, started listening. I watched your mannerisms, I waited for the snap beneath your breath. There’s something off about you, off about you. There’s something off about you. Your leather hands slid down my back it don’t feel wrong but I know it don’t feel right. There’s pink on everything but there’s nothing light in me anymore. There’s something off about you.

JM.