Jaspersgems - Jasper

Today I was chatting with two guys and mentioned I was aroace. It went a little something like this.

A: wtf is that

B: it means she’s not attracted to people in that way

A: bro you can’t just not pick a side, that’s crazy

B: nah, it just means she’s spectator mode

A: OHHH IT MAKES SENSE NOW

I have never felt more validated or laughed so hard

I lied put your clothes back on. I don't know how to fuck and I'm scared

Jason maintaining his villain status after reconciling with his family and having specific reactions to his siblings coming to stop whatever bs he’s planning based on how annoyed he is with them like

Tim, crashing through a skylight: Red Hood what are you doing

Jason: Red Robin, how good of you to join us.

Tim: can you just like. Stop.

Jason: not unless you admit that I was right about that argument we had 3 weeks ago

Tim, thinking:

Tim: THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH EATING MAC AND CHEESE WITH A SPOON

Jason: YES THERE IS

—

Jason, getting ready to fight: Spoiler. You’ve really been pissing me off lately.

Steph, waving her hand frantically: wait wait WAIT. I know I’ve been annoying BUT. I have gossip.

Jason, signaling his men to stop doing whatever they’re doing: this better be good

—

Dick: little wing, can you please just. Not do evil shit right now. I have a headache.

Jason: nah I think I will

Dick: but. We got pizza last night. You said you had a good time.

Jason: yeah, but it’s my job to piss you off so.

Dick, pinching his nose to hold off a migraine: you’re an asshole. You better not complain when I whoop your ass.

Jason: bring it, dickface

—

Jason, calling off his men, ready to slip into the playful arguments that he and duke usually have:

Duke, Very Tired Student and Vigilante at the end of his shift: I helped you change the home screen of the batcomputer to that image Tim had of Batman tripping over his own cape, Can We Not Today?

Jason, thrown off: you good man?

Duke: finals.

Jason: ah.

—

Cass: red hood.

Jason: oh hey.

Cass: are we fighting?

Jason: nah, you made dickface feel old two days ago and I got a picture of the face he made, we’re good.

Cass:

Cass: can I take a break here?

Jason: yeah, I think I have some snacks if you want

—

Bruce: red hood.

Damian: hello, hood.

Jason: B. Brat.

Bruce, who had lunch with Jason last week and is sure they’re on good terms: is there any chance we can—

Jason, squaring up: nah old man, we’re fighting.

Damian: Am I required to participate?

Damian, attempting the puppy eyes dick taught him through the mask: I finished that book you gave me and I was hoping we wouldn’t fight so we could talk about it

Jason, who was only planning on fighting Bruce: don’t worry about it, brat. You just go foil my evil plan while I’m fighting B, and then I’ll take you for ice cream.

Bruce: hold on-

Jason: no. I need this.

Damian: this is acceptable. I will be finished posthaste.

I can't explain it, but Batman needs to be mythologized. In Gotham, that is.

Logically, they know he's just a man, made of skin and bones and blood, like all of them. Those who met him, who had the ill luck to, say he feels like the city itself.

When danger approaches, with the click of a gun or hiss of a knife, it’s not the police people pray to. There's a single name that rivals Gotham‘s, and it’s not them.

So much so, there's whispers of what might happen, about guidelines being stepped. Kinda like how if you're compared to Aphrodite, you might die.

Such as:

If you see a wounded bird, of any kind, take it to a vet, or nurture it back to health. You’ll get robbed otherwise.

Don't wear pearls. Just don't.

Never let your son walk alone at night. Never lay your hands on them, either. The Bat doesn't take kindly to it.

171

a

OLIVIA RODRIGO performing at Lollapalooza Chile (March 21, 2025)

Goodluck Pikachu

I cancel all the people who make jokes about Batman always being serious. He is fucking hilarious

Pondering my orbs.