"You Dare Talk To Me Like That? Who Do You Think You Are?"

So, update on the whole villain arc thing.

I can talk to other animals, so far cats, raccoons, possums, rats and dogs.

And it is surprisingly easy to get them to steal for you. Literally just taught a flock of pigeons how to pick pocket someone.

Genders for sale here, get your genders. I’ve got old genders, new genders, ancient forbidden genders, and The True Gender (frogs). For a nominal fee I will add on a dead name removal service!

So, I made a bird feeder out of a milk carton (very easy, worth the google, will post instructions if wanted) and was hanging it up in Gotham Central Park. While filling it up with bird seed, I got approached by one arctic bird named crime lord. At first, I got a little worried, for obvious reasons, but then he asked me about it. And of course ADHD/Autism brain went “fuck yeah special interest time!” And I wound up sort of rambling about bird feeders made from recycled materials, native bird diets, and the birds themselves. When I realized that I had been rambling, I got HELLA embarrassed, as I usually get negative reactions for it. But he just? Started talking to me about birds? And at some point the fucking SCARECROW showed up, along with riddler? And we all just sat and talked about birds? And it was probably one of the BEST conversations I’ve ever had, because almost NOBODY EVER wants to talk or hear about my special interests, and it was just, fuckin amazing.

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

Girls gays and non binary baes, Please raise your hand if in favor of defunding the GCPD and using the money to help kids in Gotham 🙋🏻

Getting caught pickpocketing is embarrassing enough. Getting caught because you tripped over your own feet, and seeing the target leave you five bucks out of pity is unexplainably worse.

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

Yep.

And once more, I find myself hiding in a dumpster.

On a completely unrelated note, the GCPD do not like it when you put a glitter bomb in what you THOUGHT was the car of a bad cop

So I play lots of video games, and I ENJOY lots of video games. Here’s the problem.

I’m a shit shot. I cannot, for the LIFE of me, aim a virtual gun. Now I still have options. Games that don’t require guns, Minecraft and other creative games, etc.

but once in a while, I like to play games like TF2. But I don’t wanna drag my team down with my bad aim. So what do I do? Healers. I try to be a healer of the team. And can I just say, for someone who just threw a tantrum because the didn’t have the common sense to MOVE OUT THD WAY WHEN YOUR GETTING SHOT AT, y’all be talking mad shit to your healers. NEWS FLASH, we can let you die. We’re nog bound to heal you. We determine whether your dumb ass live or dies. Respect your fucking healers