Go To My Pinned To See How To Fight This

future!Nygmobblepot headcanons

Everyone knows they are a couple. It’s a thing. If one of them is arrested the first point of action is figuring out where the other one is.

Oswald starts wearing the top-hat to look taller - which Edward counteracts by starting to wear heels

They go out on dinner dates a lot. Other peoples “dinner and a movie” is their “dinner and armed robbery”

Bickering like an old married couple is standard procedure but the thing that makes people even more uncomfortable is the fact that these arguments will always end with a “because you love me” and extended eye fucking.

Oswald was a little self-concious when he started to gain weight but Edward made it very clear that he does not mind and intends to shoot everyone who does in the knee

While bickering, they’ll still play the “you killed me” and ”you killed my girlfriend” card but at this point the details got a little muddy like, “Are you sure she wasn’t called Isabell? Are you sure Edward?”

Harvey is weirdly happy for them and whenever someone calls him out on it he goes “Someone around here has to have a healthy, stable relationship and since it sure as hell ain’t me or you it might as well be them”

They wouldn’t admit it if anyone asked but they do visit the pier on their anniversary now and then and make some good memories to override the bad ones. Ed always loved the view, after all.

Despite what people may think, they are really good for each other. Oswald reminds Edward to take his medication and calms him down when he’s anxious. Edward rubs Oswalds leg when it hurts and keeps his temper in check.

Jim got an invite for the wedding. As in: Someone put a bag over his head and dragged him to the church where a priest was held at gun point. Oswald welcomed his “old friend” heartily and declared him best man.

Oh, oh, you meant--! Haha, you meant that I should become acquainted with the lab members! Oh, see, there's--*stands in front of door, from behind which banging and groaning occurs*--there's been a funny little misunderstanding!

When you said to "make friends", I--*elbows the door to get the things behind it to quiet down*--I may have, aha, um... Misconstrued your words.

So I took some wallets.

Long story short, who wants authentic GCPD police badges and ID’S

HELP, WHATS THE NAME OF THAT ONE SONG, I THINK IT’S IN RUSSIAN, AN ANIMATOR MADE AN ANIMATIONMEME WITH IT ABOUT AN OWL DUDE THATS THE GOD OF BURIAL, I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE SONG

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

If there was ever a time for Gotham to become its own state, ITS FUCKING NOW

By the way this page very much is not safe for Izzy hand. If I was given the chance I’d make him Izzy Handless.

This man is a homophobic gay

My boss asked me why Red Hood stopped by today, and I didn’t know how to explain without basically asking to be arrested, so Red Hood, if you get a card saying “I’m sorry for your loss” don’t question it there’s an edible arrangements gift card in there

This could save lives so I thought I’d share!