Thanks For The Kofi Mika!

O my goodness I’m howling this is hilarious!!

Percy Jackson probably has a tiktok account where he posts extremely weird POVs that are about his life and super specific put a finger down tiktoks. The @ is probably like f_theolympians or ariel_is_my_niece. Something weird like that. Everyone thinks he’s just really creative and he tells them that everything actually happens but no one believes him. His responses to comments are also the best

Comment: wasn’t this kid a suspected terrorist that blew up the gateway arch

Percy: i was 12, karen

Comment: i’m convinced percy thinks the greek gods are real

Percy: convinced? bitch i know they exist because they keep ruining my life :)

Comment: if a 14 year old was actually capable of blowing up mt. saint helens, i would die

Percy: the enterance to the underworld is at doa records in california. tell charon i was the cause of your death

Some of his tiktoks include

POV: your ares the god of war after i beat you at a fight when i was 12 years old

POV: your my dad about to smite me because i stood on your throne on olympus

POV: your the fish watching me and my girlfriend kiss underwater

POV: your my emo cousin taking me to bathe in the river styx so i can fight my old camp counselor that is the host of kronos

POV: your my best friend now girlfriend burning my funeral shroud because I was missing for 2 weeks and presumed dead after I crash my own funeral

Put a finger down if you were turned into a hamster when you were 13 and now at 17 you still crave lettuce from the experience

Put a finger down if you were prophesied to die at 16 but no one told you until days before your 16th birthday

Put a finger down if you ever fell into Tartarus with your girlfriend and while you were down there choked the goddess of misery with her own poison and almost died because you killed dozens of arai that inflicted all the curses people wished upon you

Put a finger down if you were ever kidnapped by Hera and put to sleep for a few months and when you woke up you had amnesia and were then trained by the wolf goddess Lupa who sent you off to a camp without telling you the location so you lived on the streets and stole a police cruiser while being chased by 2 gorgons and slid down a hill into oncoming traffic on a serving tray

Put a finger down if your 6th grade Latin teacher and your best friend lied to you for half of the school year trying to convince you that your pre-algebra teacher never existed despite the fact that your Latin teacher gave you a pen that transformed into a sword to kill your pre-algebra teacher after she turned into a Fury hellbent on killing you making you think that you were going insane only to find out that summer that your the son of Poseidon, your Latin teacher is Chiron the centaur, and your best friend is a satyr

(Class is about to end)

Sirius and James: *hurrying to put their books away*

McGonagall: Stop! Class isn’t over yet!

Sirius and James: *put their books away slightly slower and more subtly*

Why not?? More reading for us!! ;)

please tell me remus’ first goal is in ficmas

I need like 30 days of ficmas to fit everything I want to do at ficmas 😂

regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?

james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.

This shows my inability to make decision more than anything else 😂😂.

kanye west: i’m running for president

all of us who have already gotten used to 2020’s fuckery:

End of Term Jitters

Does anyone else feel excited but sad on the last day of term?

Like you are super excited for the holidays cause hey more sleep! But sad cause you’ve gotta say goodbye for a couple of weeks?

Clingy queen has never been more accurate 😂

tag urself i’m oblivious bastard