Open Letter To Wilbur Soot

Open Letter to Wilbur Soot

(which will likely be read by no one)

The silkworms out here have no idea what you need, what advice you are getting, and whether there are practical reasons for your silence. We can assume you must be under terrible pressure from outside, inside, and all around.  With apologies and understanding, I feel compelled to apply a little more pressure. 

For every former fan who posts a hateful comment, there are a hundred who stay silent. For every positive comment, there are a hundred who are afraid to speak.  Some are determined to despise you but are agonizing over the affection they still feel. Some secretly want to see you vindicated but are afraid to be seen as not believing a victim.  Do you know how they feel? 

It’s not news to you that you are the object of affection for many, many young people (and a few old ones :)). 

Mansplaining Warning (L’Mansplaining…): A celebrity crush on an actor is different.  Actors play someone else.  When a teenager falls head-over-heels for an actor, the connection is less intense.  The actor they adore is usually playing someone else and the public doesn’t really know what the actor is really like.  You play yourself.  Your chat *knows* you, and while you could argue that it isn’t real, SO MUCH OF IT IS.  They have seen you talk, laugh, react, and interact with minimal filters.  You aren’t an actor to them. You are real.  THEY ARE HEARTBROKEN, and it is REAL. 

The A-word was fixed to your chest by your ex-girfriend. Fandom splintered and sides were chosen. There is a tone that any questioning of Shelby’s characterization of you is anti-feminist or immoral.  People believe they aren’t allowed to accept you. Kids think it’s a true-or-false thing - either you did this or you didn’t.  

They think the man they idolized and thought was the best kind of person is actually the worst kind. Some think they were fooled. Some think they were betrayed. All they have to go on are Shelby’s words, bolstered by the blistering response to your statement from a few of your former colleagues and the deafening silence from the rest.  

There is a feeling that if you haven’t defended yourself, fully, it must be because you have no defense.  If the Sorry Boys and MCYTs won’t defend you, there must be more to this, and whatever you’ve done must be indefensible.

There are thousands of fans standing in the river, halfway across, hoping someone will tell them it is okay swim back.  No one is telling them.  Some have made their way decisively to one shore or the other and will not look back.  The people in the middle are a MESS.  

We know you are hurting.

These fans are hurting. You don’t owe them anything.  It must sting to have them adore you so much and then turn on a dime.  But if you have anything left to give, there are a bunch of fans who need more than anything to hear from you. 

My friend (one of the ‘fan moms’) exchanged DMs with kid in crisis a few days ago and talked him through a suicidal night.  He was struggling with losing you (which is how it feels to them), and the final straw was getting banned on Twitch by other CCs because he supports you.  He just couldn’t bear it. 

I read two Twitter threads today from fans who have denounced you confessing how much they miss being fans.  Both writers started and finished their ‘vents’ with caveats professing their support for victims and disgust for you, to make sure that no one reading would mistake them for “supporting an abuser.”  Then, they go on to describe the loss they feel and the holes in their hearts.  They question whether it is okay to still like Lovejoy.  They shyly ask if it still counts as “supporting abuse” if they can find ways to listen for free. They miss the high they used to get when a new single dropped or a new stream popped up. They say that of course they can’t love you anymore, but they loved the way you made them feel.  Between the caveats, the middle a straight-up love letter. 

Both sides love to toss around the “you’re parasocial” insult.  Who cares.  Parasocial or not, the suffering is real. 

If your PR person, your label, your lawyers, your band are telling you not to talk, *don’t talk.* 

But if not, and if you can ——-

PLEASE START TALKING. 

Talk for hours.  

Any damn way you want.  

Script it.  Wing it.  Push it out in pieces.  Produce a Dream-style YouTube video. Hop on Twitch and talk honestly until there is nothing at all left to say.  

Most importantly, make sure it isn’t short.  More is more. 

Talk about your faults, talk about your perception of what was happening at the time, and your perception of it retrospectively.  Talk about how you are doing, about what these months have been like for you.  (The WSS fans on your side of the river need most of all to know how you are doing.  Honestly. No bullshit please.)  If there are lies, call them lies.  Where Shelby is right, acknowledge it. Take the hits you deserve, but not the ones you don’t. Hit back when it isn’t fair. Please. 

If your silence means “I am exactly the guilty POS you think I am,” by all means, stay silent. 

But if not, PLEASE, for the Love of God, DEFEND YOURSELF. 

 **Now go listen to your team and yourself before taking strategy advice from some fangirl.

More Posts from Jdbeckmanwriting and Others

4 weeks ago

the wrong people in this world are unlearning shame

3 months ago

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

11 months ago

Look.

Look.

I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.

People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".

These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.

If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.

1 month ago

ok im going to #seriouspost for a second here. I don't think Harry Potter is a manifesto. I think it was a flawed passion project that millennials latched onto because of the fantasy of sticking it to their mean teachers and arbitrarily categorizing themselves (hogwarts houses; it's the thinking millennial's astrology). I think the fact that the series got popular when and how it did was very much a product of its time.

I don't think Harry Potter is the biggest symbol of JKR's bigotry. I think the most flagrant sign of that was how she responded to critics. I watched her become radicalized in real time. I watched how she doubled down on her racism when she was called out for the ways she promoted her tragically mid fantastic beasts movies. I watched her chase marginalized teenagers with a double digit follower count off of twitter for daring to criticize her thought process, and no one with any kind of power standing against her because she was the one who was paying them. This isn't to say Harry Potter is without flaws. This is to say she really didn't give a shit about that. Getting rich and powerful is a hell of a drug, and she had enough sycophants that she had no reason to care about what her critics were saying.

She was convinced that she was a martyr; a voice for the unheard; a leader for the ages, so of course her detractors were the bad guys. And I think we should take this to heart. We should see this as an example of how easy it is to get radicalized; if you think of yourself as a paragon of virtue, you are going to think that whatever you see as good and right is an objective fact. Most people don't know this, but the majority of terfs start out as trans allies. You are not immune to propaganda! You are not immune to falling into dangerous ideologies!!!

This is why the most important thing you can do as an activist is to listen. Do NOT think you're above being wrong; do NOT develop a god complex; do NOT form an identity out of being right all the time. Involve yourselves in the groups you claim to speak for. Listen to trans women; share resources that help trans women; familiarize yourself with the diversity of experiences that trans people have and the struggles they face.

No, none of you are as bad as JKR because you don't have her money or her power. You will likely never have the capacity for harm she does. But check yourselves. Do not affirm yourselves into thinking you always have the moral high ground. Watch yourselves; humble yourselves; check yourselves for signs of cult behavior and internalized prejudice. You are always learning. You will always be learning. Do not allow yourselves to get a power trip from brushing off marginalized voices.

10 months ago

i wish i was famous in the 70s so i coulda gone on the muppet show and flirted with the muppets

11 months ago

Pretty funny that everybody on this entire web site is a fucking mammal.

10 months ago

people think they shouldn't vote as a protest or whatever because they've been raised on boycotts. which do sometimes work.

boycotts deprive the target of money.

not voting does not deprive the government of money.

it does, however, deprive you of power.

it's not like a boycott.

2 months ago

ok not to be that guy but like. labor rights and working class rights can coexist with 24h services and late amenities. its certainly hard to do so without worker exploitation in this political and social environment, it’s not a conflict likely to resolve overnight. but 24h services are important and especially valuable to those of us that are disabled or are on a different circadian rhythm. in fact more professional, health, and government services should be available or at least possible to work on asynchronously (if applicable) during late or odd hours, while workers also get sufficient pay for their labor and proper consistent scheduling. this would be much easier on the workers with night schedules if the entire professional world didn’t grind to a halt at 5pmEST

1 month ago

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

1 year ago

Warning: When I Am an Old Women I Shall Wear Purple - Jenny Johnson

Life is busy, and I haven't posted in a few days, so indulge me a moment for thoughts on a poem. Below is a link to a reading of "Warning: When I Am an Old Women I Shall Wear Purple." The 'meaning' behind this work is a rather simple one: do not wait to do the things that bring you joy until you are old because you are afraid of how people will perceive them. The amount of time we are granted on this earth is not guaranteed and will never be long enough. Live while you can. Love while you can. And do not be afraid to wear purple.

A large portion of my readers are Lovejoy and Wilbur Soot fans, and I adore them. I adore all of my readers, of course, but this is a message solely for them. Punk Rock, Counter Culture, Goth, Emo, you name it - they were all popularized by people smart enough to think deeply and critically about our place in the universe and who were brave enough to own it. The only crime a majority of you have committed is asking difficult questions, standing firmly by your beliefs, and feeling empathy in a situation where it is difficult to do so.

No one can tell you which art to like or music to listen to. People have been doing morally reprehensible things since time began, and quality is in no way based on the integrity of their morals. The idea that it's only ok to like a 'bad persons' work if their dead is so ludicrous that I will not dignity that sentiment here.

Do what makes you happy and gives you the strength to live and move forward. This life is hard, but it is worth it. An please, consider wearing purple more often. You might find that it suits you.


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jdbeckmanwriting - JDBeckmanWrites
JDBeckmanWrites

Wholesome Optomist engaged with a Cynical Realist in a Cyclical Battle for Clarity of self... key weapons: Poetry & Stuff. Occasionally jdbeckmanwriting.com l Twitter/Insta/TikTok: @JDBeckmanWrites

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