Posting These Maya Fits Again For No Other Reason Than I Updated Her Hair (and My Signature Lmao). Anyways

Working a customer-facing job as a trans person in the current climate should earn you hazard pay and I'm not kidding

I want to be mutuals with every trans woman on Tumblr.

Not just because we’re all hot, funny, unhinged, powerful, emotionally intelligent, and dangerously full of eldritch energy—but because once we’re all connected, we can unionize.

Step 1: Take over Tumblr.

Step 2: Take over the internet.

Step 3: Take turns writing smut posts and reblog-chain them into one continuous, increasingly horny and chaotic sapphic epic.

It’s not just about power.

It’s about community.

It’s about craft.

It’s about gay rights and collaborative storytelling.

We are the revolution, and we are NSFW tagged.

I love these two so much

All gains to lift your gf

Who else?

it was not on wheat...

I hid for so long, eager to be found.

The first time I saw myself in the mirror.

Avelyn and Elizabeth.

I'm reminded of this:

I mean, it's not that many insecurities right?

I think I’m just a little too autistic for most people

Like I’m definitely a low support needs autistic person in the sense that I can navigate reality on my own, understand complicated things more or less fully: all to say, I’m not intellectually challenged (not say I’m some genius lol).

But I’m weird. When masking, I speak and write in a very formal, stilted, clear manner. I make every effort to be understood, or at least hopefully not misinterpreted. The only times that I come across as emotionally present are either when I’m very heavily masking and doing emotional regulation for someone else, or if I’m not masking at all because I’m comfortable around someone. They’re very different kinds of emotionally expressive though.

The problem is, I still do the stilted speech thing even when not masking if I’m trying to say something difficult or make sure I’m being coherent. And the thing is, I am fully cognizant that my mannerisms are off-putting. Sure people might tell me they don’t mind, but I’m not stupid - I can tell if they’re lying, even if it takes me some time to notice.

But I’m not just weird in my mannerisms. I have very niche, even cringe interests (I am held hostage by Sonic the Hedgehog and I won’t shut up about Deep Space Nine). I really suck at small talk, and love listening to people I care about talk about whatever they’re passionate about. I think that can breed a sense that I don’t contribute the same amount to conversation, even if cognitively I’m fully present. I’m quick to get attached to people I find comfortable around, especially because that’s so rare for me. And the quickness is probably what prospective friends find the most off-putting.

It feels like the only other person that will understand me is just someone who’s a carbon copy of myself. And I’ve yet to find her. Hell, I’m not even entirely confident we’d get along.

But I guess I have to hold out hope there’s at least one person that will get me. Because if there isn’t, what’s even the point? Why am I living in loneliness if not for the shred of hope that it’ll eventually end?

It just hurts to be abandoned again. And again. And again.

And it’s getting harder and harder to be strong/brave enough to even give people a shot.