Baji: End My Suffering.

before xiao, there was alatus. xiao x gn!reader. warnings: angst, mcd!!, blood, xiao's backstory. wc: 2,708. semi proofread.

before xiao, there was alatus.

alatus who served an unknown god with a deep desire for power and used him to slaughter those who opposed his wishes. helpless and weak alatus who devoured dreams and crush the innocent’s hopes. feeble alatus who withstood countless wounds and near-death experiences.

it was him who deserved the terrified looks of his victims, begging him to spare even at least their children and kill them—only for his body to move without his permission. he who dirtied his soul and tainted his hands at the blood that painted his face.

“you’re tending to wounds that won’t kill me,” alatus muttered.

“immortal yes, invincible no.” the once white cloth you had been using from a week ago was now a light pink and alatus knew it was the blood of his victims. it was wet and cold as you wiped the cloth across his face, removing all the red splatters and cleaning the wounds that he newly acquired.

“you’re thinking lowly of me. you know i’ll get dirty again once i step out and—” he let out a muffled noise as you wiped the cloth on his mouth, shutting him up from his self-deprecating talk. still, this earned you a glare.

smiling lightly—one that looked almost apologetic, you look down briefly. “i know…you hate seeing the blood of others on you. so let me do my job just this once, okay?”

of course, there were many things alatus hated in this world. he hated how you were always right. he also hated how you made him feel. hated how he became selfish at the thought of being with you.

you were a mortal and he an adeptus who still could not fend for himself. while you were free, alatus would be forever chained to his master. he’d told you many times to leave him be, that he was dangerous, that you’ll get yourself killed by him, but you merely smiled at his claims.

“stop looking so worried,” you giggled. “your master won’t come and barge in here. what do you know? maybe he’ll make me fight you and think you’re unfit for the job because you’ll lose to me!”

alatus scoffed—visibly frowning—and crossed his arms as he gave you a look of detest. “you mortals and your imagination.” 

“and this mortal,” you gestured to yourself, “is taking care of an injured adeptus.”

you leaned towards him, gently placing a hand on his cheek as you look up at him. “alatus,” you whispered.

he leaned into your touch, humming. your skin was warm and palm lightly calloused from the everyday work you did but he loved the way you held him. you let out a small laugh, thumb brushing over the healed wound on his cheek as he cracked an eye open to gaze at you tenderly.

“i went to town today and zhao told me there would be a war. do you think it’s true?” you mumbled, already knowing you would be separated from him.

“your god will protect you,” was all alatus could say to you.

war meant death, countless and thousands who would perish at the hands of whoever was responsible. and though alatus protected you from the shadows, he would not be able to be by your side once a war would brew. someone like him who bathed in death was for the battlefield—to kill, to destroy. war meant separation and alatus feared the day your hands wouldn’t be as warm as you held him now.

“hah…i suppose,” you said, your shoulders dropping. “at least i can spend today with you.”

“you talk as if our time is limited,” he scowled. “it’s not, at least for now. i’ll…still come by.”

the lies he told were piling up and he knew they would soon spill out. still, if the lies meant your happiness, alatus would tell a thousand just for the smile on your face to stay. he knew it was wrong—lying directly to your face as you believed him—but he couldn’t dare to see the look of anguish ever again.

with a content hum, you pulled him into your arms and basked in the setting sun. 

–

alatus will never tell you how he felt whenever he was with you. how his stomach would make him uneasy and transform him into a small shy cat, afraid that he’d hurt you in any way should you come close to him. how his day immediately brightens up when he sees you standing by a tree, a stern expression on your face.

"you have blood all over you again," you'd say with a sigh.

and even if you hid the fact that you were terrified of the things he did, you took him into your arms and ran your fingers in his hair. the sweet nothings you whispered when he’d nap on your lap even for a few minutes, leaning down to kiss his forehead made his heart swell.

and he’s glad that he didn’t abandon you the day he saw you.

instead, he listened to the way his name falls from your lips. he chose to lie in your arms and listen to the faint sound of your beating heart. alatus has looked into your eyes as he caresses your face in the moonlight, humming as you whispered about your day to him. 

you were all alatus had in this godforsaken world. he who is the devil would lay at your feet and repent for his actions. if alatus could never forgive himself, you would take his face by your hands and kiss his eyes for they were the reason he saw himself in such a bad light.

the only thing alatus wanted was to be by your side. forever.

he would hold your hand and watch the way your eyes would sparkle at the sight of the sun setting everyday if he wanted. carry you on his back if you ever felt tired from walking whenever you’d set out on a new journey with him. he would eat the food you prepared for him, biting back a soft smile as you complained that his master would treat him so cruelly to not let him eat.

he adored you wholeheartedly.

but you were mortal, ever so fragile.

there would be times alatus would not be able to be by your side and the thought frightened him more times than you’d think.

how could he live a life without you?

he was selfish but he knew you’d still risk it all for him. it was only natural for him to do the same. you were mortal and you’d vanish soon enough but alatus would do anything to keep you alive.

–

“it’s a new dish i’ve been trying out. the ingredients are kind of expensive, so don’t expect me to make it every time!” you reminded as you set the two plates down on the table. 

“your fingers are all…” alatus muttered as he picked up the spoon, eyeing your bandaged fingers—blood still seeping through.

you held them to your chest, offering him a laugh. “it’s nothing, i swear! don’t freak out if you find blood in your food—i’m kidding, i swear.”

he almost looked offended at your statement, looking down at the plate and nudging it with the spoon. it was times like this that alatus did enjoy your presence and warmth. just the two of you basking in the moonlight. the food quickly melted into his mouth and he closed his eyes.

“well?” you peered at him, nudging his shoulder with yours.

alatus turned to you, paused and reached his hand out to bring your forehead closer to his lips. he resumed eating after.

there was nothing he could say but he knew that you already knew the answer to your question.

you leaned onto him, your head on his shoulders as you looked up at the night sky. “hm. let’s name it…almond tofu? it’s made from that, or maybe we should call it tofu almond.” 

“it sounds like something a child would call,” he commented.

“alatus!” you gasped. “take that back!”

“i never said it wasn’t delicious.”

“i suppose you’re right… i hate you and your remarks.”

alatus chuckles lightly, nodding. he takes you in his arms and breathes you in—like a bee needing flowers to survive. you were the light that shone brightly beside the devil, his savior and sanctuary. 

-

fight for me and get me a seat as an archon, his master had demanded all so suddenly.

as he had always been in, alatus was back on the battlefield. his polearm would slash and destroy anything that came his way should they disobey his master, his god. the blood of the innocent on his hands as he slaughtered each and every one.

alatus would never forget the terrified looks on their face, begging him to spare their child.

he hated every second of it. he could not stop even if he wanted to, the strings on his body were being controlled by his god. his god who desperately wanted the seat as one of the seven—greedy and merciless, he spared no one.

red and black was all alatus could see—he had forgotten the colorful skies, the greenery of nature, and the color of the love you gave him.

his soul was tainted and dirty, no repenting could ever make you forgive him now. should alatus crawl to your feet and beg for forgiveness, he knew you would stare at him in disgust and punish him for what he had done.

home was no longer with you, no longer in your arms that would wrap around him and have you whispering soft nothings. alatus was leaving battlefield after battlefield and soon, it had grown into his home.

days felt like years and he wished to head back to you each time he would rest—but he was bound by contracts and his weakness, you. 

-

 “…isn’t that him? he’s disgusting. i can’t believe he’s one of us.”

“it’s like he doesn’t have a mind of his own! what are you—don’t leave me!”

“…master, alatus has caused a great casualty. your soldiers are dying at his hands as well.”

“…master, alatus has killed general zho… we must kill him, it’s the only way—"

“you dare disobey me? alatus is my greatest soldier.”

“alatus, you must kill everyone who opposes me.”

“no god will save you, you damned devil!”

and soon, alatus had begun to kill gods. gods who waged war with him and his master, gods who wanted to flee and save their people, gods who did not care about the seating of celestia.

do you actually think you’re not a monster?

do you know what’s worse than a demon like you? a liar.

you killed people.

no one would forgive you.

what would [name] think?

what would [name] think?

whaT WOULD [NAME] THINK?

it’s in the most gruesome battle that he awakens at your name.

“the name xiao is that of a spirit who encountered great suffering and hardship. he endured much suffering, as you have. use this name from now on.” morax stood in front of alatus—no, xiao.

his master was now dead.

he had won the battle—but at what cost? 

xiao fell on his knees. his world had crumbled.

death was inevitable, it really was. but he had told himself he would go to great lengths to stop death from clinging to him—stop clinging to anyone he loved. he had never loved anyone as much as you before, you were the only one he knew how to love.

so, tell him, why did death cling to him?

a minute earlier. ten minutes earlier. no, an hour earlier. god, maybe a week earlier. you, who he swore to protect with all his heart, clung to him desperately, sobs escaping your lips as you trembled in his arms.

“alatus…it hurts! it hurts!”

xiao bit back the tears, his head buried on your neck as you cried on his chest. “it’ll be okay, you’ll be okay, i promise,” he soothed, lips shaking as he held you tighter.

“i don’t want to die, alatus, i don’t want to!” your voice was weak, full of fear and heavy breaths. xiao wishes he could hear your voice from before, joyous and teasing.

like everyone he had killed, your blood was on his hands. on his arms. on his clothes. on his face. your blood was everywhere on him. it seeped into him and he could feel every bit of it. xiao wanted to vomit, you were everything he had and you were dying before him.

red—it was all he could see.

the blood that seeped through your clothes, from your arms to your middle to your legs. the wounds on your face must have hurt—he wishes he was there earlier. he would have kept you safe. he should have kept you safe.

your cries were even worse. it was the only thing he could hear as he held on to you, tears already down his face as he hung his mouth open—unable to accept the fact that you laid before him with blood. your cries were painful and it hurt him. hurt him till his bones and hurt him in his heart.

sobs wracked your body and you could feel the pain. how painful your wounds were. 

“it hurts!” you cried, “it hurts so bad!”

xiao ran his fingers through your hair, attempting to soothe your cries. his hand reaching out to cup your face as you looked up at him with tear-stricken eyes. you cherished life and you cherished being with him.

losing life meant losing him. 

“you won’t die,” he repeated over and over again.

please…

 xiao wished it was enough to comfort you but really, it was for him. for him to stop falling apart and hurry and take you to the adepti.

“alatus,” you choked out, “please i want to live, i want-i want to be with you…please save me.”

a new name, he wanted to tell you. he lived under a new god now. the cruel master that you hated was now dead and he was saved. the war you had told him about was now over.

you can be together as usual now. he had so many things to say but his body trembled and you simply cried into his shoulder, begging him and any god that you wanted to live and to be saved.

the pain was unmeasurable and both of you knew that you were unsavable. still, you begged him to save you. you were being selfish, so selfish. but you wanted to be with him, feel his smile against your shoulder, have him bury his face into your neck in embarrassment.

“you’ll live. you’ll live. i’ll-i’ll take you to-to morax,” he spluttered, already making up his mind that he should at least try anything to save you. but you hissed in pain when he lifted you up and xiao knew.

there was nothing he could do.

alatus, what do you think of my dish?

alatus, do you think we can gather some qingxin?

alatus, kiss me?

 alatus, welcome home!

 alatus.

alatus.

alatus, do you want me to die?

alatus, why are you so useless?

alatus, you killed me.

(i didn’t…!)

“alatus, i love you, i love you, i love you,” you whispered against his skin. briefly, you wanted to see him smile at you but you were already being too selfish; so, you buried your face into the crook of his neck and closed your eyes at the warmth he brought you. “even-even until death, i will-will love you.”

“you’ll be okay,” xiao whispered, hand by your head as tears rolled down his cheeks. he was weak—he’d always been weak. “it’s okay, i love you too… so, please… it’ll be okay, it won’t hurt anymore. i love you, i love you."

xiao could only wish you managed to hear it.

before liyue and its people, there was you who he swore to protect.

before xiao, there was alatus who wished that you could have stayed with him as xiao.

notes the 2.7 archon quest absolutely wrecked me, i felt so sad seeing xiao wanting to sacrifice himself so i wrote this to help <3 hope u like it because i know i did

gen taglist @ljinghe @yaefics @imtoodumbforaname @wccycc @sugxqts @cottonfluffs // join the taglist here

Blooming ✤ 4NEMO

B l o o m i n g

A/N: The amount of time I took to draw that (^) banner just to have it for 4nemo ficlets— a-ah, I love how it turned out anyway soOOO- anyway! This is sort of 4nemo’s… origin story? At least my take in how the group was built. 

There will be three parts to this, Blooming, Falling, and Loving! (And a bonus angst because it won’t be me without angst, Withering)

✤ she/her

Words: 4.1k

≿————-　❈　————-≾

A dream is a wish your heart makes—isn’t that a saying from a fairytale? 

Keep reading

mono

[ xiao x little adepti!reader ]

summary: xiao realizes that he wasn't really alone.

note: i miss little devil and xiao :'> | m.list

words: 1622 | warnings: mentions of perilous trails and kinda shitty narrative because it's 4 am and im sleepy | REPOST

"they've been staying at that exact spot for three days, mister zhongli," verr turns to the child sitting on a blanket at the balcony of the inn with a worried look on her face. in her hands is a tray with a plate of almond tofu and a glass of water. she was just about to deliver it herself, when she came upon zhongli, who was also making his way to the balcony.

"i think they're waiting for xiao to come home," the gentleman can only sigh in response, for he had already expected this before he made his way to dihua marsh.

"i see. thank you for letting me know. may i?" he gestured to the plate and cup, "i came to check upon them, so if you don't mind?"

"of course," she carefully hands him the tray, "thank you. now, if you'd excuse me," she gives him one last smile—albeit a little sad—before turning to walk back to the front desk.

zhongli nods at her, before continuing his ascent to the balcony with the tray in his hand. the sound of his footsteps on the wooden platform alarms the figure on the floor, little shoulders perking up and turning around to face him.

your eyes are not as bright as they were a few weeks ago, zhongli noted.

"baba," you smile at him—too timid and doesn't reach their ears, he thought— "is that almond tofu?"

"indeed," he placed the tray on a nearby table, taking the plate and the fork and kneeling beside you on the blanket, "would you like to eat it now while it's still freshly made?"

"yes please."

handing you the plate and fork, you start to feed yourself little by little.

zhongli watches you do so from the corner of his eyes, lips tugging downwards from how you seem so… in your own world. silence was not an unusual thing with you, but this kind of eerie silence is slowly eating him. you've always been a child full of wonder and curiosity. if he's not retelling thousands of his stories, then it's you theorizing about everything and anything.

"baba," zhongli snapped out from his thoughts, gold eyes meeting your somber ones, "were do you think gege xiao is?"

oh.

so this is what this is about, zhongli turned his head towards the direction of the harbor, as if searching for an answer. in some ways, he is. he didn't want to speak about the chasm or xiao's impending doom to you.

"xiao is… facing a big obstacle right now."

"will he be alright?"

in all honesty, even zhongli doesn't have a definite answer. he knows xiao, alatus, is strong and more than capable of protecting himself and others. if he wasn't, he would have been swallowed by his karmic debt long ago. he is most resilient and devoted to his cause. but he is also too destructive for the sake of others—self sacrifice and unshakeable from his own principles. too much that he disregards his own safety.

"his safety is not guaranteed—" zhongli grimaced at the way your lips wobbled, "—but i can guarantee that the strength he had when he first decided to face his predicament, will be with him throughout and will remain within him right to the end."

zhongli pats the top of your head, letting your body lean on his side with a relieved smile at the somewhat at peace expression on your face.

he may not have quelled the storm within you, but he hopes that his words had at least given you more hope and confidence in your brother.

"i miss gege," you whimpered.

"worry not, little one. he'll return to us soon."

he says this to you and to himself.

xiao can feel exhaustion eating away inside him.

when he said that escaping will take everything he has, he really did mean that in all ways. the method used in the end wasn't the same as he had first planned, but either way, both still required all of his power.

the only difference was that there's a chance of survival with the second option.

well, he wouldn't have survived without rex lapis' help, but he at least came very close to that chance.

"heroes, huh," he says to himself, looking down at the shrine below him. the words that the traveler and the cow—ushi, was it?—had told him just a few minutes ago echoed in his mind.

a lot had transpired in just a few days—days for him but it might have taken them more or less than a week though, he's not too sure about that—and even after the vigilant yaksha said that he'd take their advice, there's still a lot to mentally go through with the whole experience.

maybe it was because seeing bosacius—for the last time—brought a lot of ache in his heart or the fact that he had almost met his end in the deep and dark underground space. perhaps it's a combination of both. for the few seconds that was spent falling into the depths of the chasm, he had felt the loneliest that he has ever been.

it somewhat scared him. the crippling fear when you know that it's the end and no one is there to witness you do so—it seems that yakshas do have fears of their own. his just happens to be the fear of dying without ever leaving a dent in someone's mind.

maybe this fear manifested because he was never really alone at all.

"gege!"

that's right. i was never truly alone. i just didn't really acknowledge that someone was there for me.

"gege!"

in fact, someone was always there for me, holding onto me.

xiao ignores the cries of rest from his muscles, limbs trembling at the ache that seems to dig itself into his bones. but he persevered, like he always does, pushing himself to stand.

"gege xiao."

the call for his name was clear as the sky—back at the chasm, he realized that the muffled noise he kept hearing at the back of his head was his name being called numerous times, the sound being blocked by whatever lives in that underground space. this time, finally, he can hear it as if the voice was right next to his ear. it sounded weak, a plea for him to appear.

it sounded like they've been calling him for so long only to be in vain.

with one last surge of his power, he enveloped himself with a green mist, disappearing and reappearing as fast as the wind could take him. only this time, his feet meet the wooden platform of his home.

ah, home. this is the first time i ever called someplace home.

"gege?..."

his head lifts up to where the sound came from, amber eyes meeting puffy ones—evidence of the time you've spent crying.

he says nothing, nor can he really think of something to say in this kind of situation. instead, he drags his heavy feet to your flabbergasted form on the floor.

once close enough, his knees fell to the ground with a loud thud, arms immediately sweeping you close with a relieved sigh.

"it's me," he whispers, "i'm here. i came back—and i'm never leaving you again."

after a moment of silence—you were still processing his sudden appearance—he hears the start of your cries, soft whimpers and sniffles right next to his ear and your small arms barely wrapping around his neck, fisting the cloth on his shoulder.

xiao does not initiate any kind of affection. yet here he is, striding towards you across the floor of the balcony with an urgency that you've never seen him have before, embracing you himself in a tight hug. it spurred more tears from your already weary eyes, the familiar warmth of your dear brother and his reassuring voice giving you a sense of peace—the ugly voices in your head are no more.

"w-where have you been?" you sobbed against his shoulder, trying your hardest to sound a little mad to scold him.

he only scoffs with mirth, finding your attempt endearing.

"i… met with my older brother."

"you left without telling me!" your fist thumps on his shoulders.

"forgive me, baobei—" he pulls away from the hug, calloused hands wiping the tears away from your puffy cheeks, "—i did not expect the trip to last weeks."

nor did i really think i'd ever come out alive.

"but i am here now," a rare smile appears on his face, immediately stopping you from your feigned tantrums to stare at him.

gege never smiles.

you sniffled, pouting at how he seemed unaffected. it must be an adult thing, you concur. still, this doesn't stop you from shooting him questions later.

"how was," you hiccuped, "how was your brother?"

a hum was his only response. he smooths down the disheveled mop of hair on your head, looking anywhere but your eyes.

"he's somewhere far from here."

"far from home?"

“mhm, very far. but where he is doesn't matter now," xiao shakes his head of any negative thoughts, "he may be far from us, but his memory will be preserved within our minds."

"can you tell me a story about him?"

"if you wish to hear it."

"mhm!" your eyes sparkled from excitement. it was xiao's first time to tell you a story from the past and you are more than ready to listen to his voice, his voice that you haven't heard in weeks.

"what was his name?"

"his name is bosacius. hundreds of years ago, i was not alone in protecting the land of liyue."

i was never alone before, nor am i alone now.

"there were four others—"

and now i have you.

ponytail albedooo 🏵️

“You’re flirting with me just so you can eat my food, aren’t you?”

“Is that really what you think of me?” Kaeya smiles lightly at you. He’s dressed casually today, lacking much of the usual pomp and extraneous flair. Granted, it is summer, and that large fur coating he always has draped over his shoulder is much too warm for a night like this. “You haven’t seen me in so long, and now you’re making accusations?”

Keep reading

footprints

[ zhongli x child!reader ]

summary: the lonely archon does not seem to be lonely anymore, not with the presence of a little human.

notes: self indulgent gnhn was going to be a longer fic but i got tired of waiting and went for the cute moments lmao :') | m.list

words: 601 | warnings: fucking adorable i swear

zhongli finds the snow magnificent. he's not a big fan of it, but he can't deny that this particular season makes liyue more beautiful than it already is. the chill in the air feels great in his lungs, although it stings a little bit when he stays outside for too long. for now, the pair of gold crystals admires the way the snow slowly fills the ground like the sand filling the bottom half of an hourglass.

"oof!"

amused, a quiet chuckle escaped from his chest, listening closely to the sounds of footsteps shuffling in the snow.

one of the reasons zhongli can relax peacefully without the weight of his past is you.

over the months that he had taken you under his care—as much as he can, that is—you had continuously followed him around the harbor, always right behind or beside him whenever he searched for you. your small footsteps have become familiar to his ears and he finds himself restless when he can't feel your presence. you have also helped him in the ways of humans—your young mind not processing the fact that he himself should have known how that works without your help.

keeping a slow pace, his head turns sideways to take a look at you. before his eyes, is the most purest creature of all doing the most adorable thing in the world.

on the blankets of snow, your footprints are nowhere to be found.

the reason? you were too determined to step on his footprints, your feet too small to even fit on the size of his. your face held the most wonderful smile, eyes set downwards on the set of footprints his feet left for you to follow.

suddenly, the cold air that filled his lungs earlier disappeared and his is chest embraced with a warmth that he hasn't felt before.

with a certain glint in his eyes and a deep chuckle, his left foot steps farther, followed by his right foot with the same distance. slowly, the spaces between his footprints start to grow, far enough that you have to stretch your little legs to reach.

he watches as you waddle to his direction, lips pursed, and your arms outstretched for balance.

he unconsciously stopped on his track, deciding that watching you seems more worthwhile than the beauty of the landscape behind him. nor does he notice the fond look on his face the closer you got to him, still stepping on the footprints he left.

"a little closer," you mumble under your breath, feeling your legs start to hurt from the stretching it has done.

with one last set of footprints left, your foot got caught in the snow, throwing your balance off and pulling your body down to fall on the blankets of cold snow.

"eek!"

fortunately, zhongli was fast enough to catch you. he chuckles at the bewildered look on your face.

"careful, little one."

"thank you, mister zhongli!" you beam at him, pearls white as the snow on display with how big your smile is.

the warmth in his chest once again made its presence known, as he took your hand in his to help you travel through the snow.

"shall we head back? the cold will not be good for your health."

"can we have hot chocolate? or your signature tea?" your eyes sparkle, rendering the snow around you useless with how they shine against the light.

"of course, little one."

on the way back, the lonely archon's footprints don't seem to be lonely anymore, not with the second set of small footprints accompanying him wherever he goes.

NEVERMIND, LET’S BREAK UP | ONE.

SUMMARY. Summer flings are summer flings. But not you and Jaehyun. The both of you have a 3-month relationship contract that renews every summer. When summer ends, your contract is terminated until next summer. But what if one summer, Jaehyun comes up to the cottage with a new girlfriend? 

GENRE. fluff | comedy | hint of angst 

word count. 6.5k+ words

pairing. jaehyun x fem!reader

author’s note. alas, here she is! let me explain why i decided to post it in two parts, though! i decided to post it in two parts just because it’ll be easier that way. i’m sorry for taking so long to post this! but here.. please take this first part as part of my apology :( happy reading~

PART ONE. | PART TWO.

People always ask you why you look forward to spending your summer up at the cottage. Your answer? It’s complicated. But your answer no longer becomes complicated the moment you see him, your annual 3-month fling, Jeong Jaehyun.

Keep reading

that's a wrap! — 🎬 [scaramouche x fem!reader]

rising actor and well-known rapper, kunikuzushi opens up about his love life during an interview with the yae publishing house! the young actor revealed that his dedication to his role as the second male lead made him break things off with his girlfriend! read more to find out here.

genres. modern au, romance, comedy, angst, exes to lovers, kuni is a celebrity, socmed + narrations

status. on-going [05.13.23]

taglist. open, reply to this post if you want to be added.

notes.

will be using fem pronouns for the reader!

inconsistent updates

grammatical and typographical errors

the idols/pictures used are only faceclaims and serves as placeholders. they do not define the look of the reader or the characters in any way

do not mind the timestamps unless stated otherwise

TRAILERS —

teaser 1

teaser 2

STARRING —

anemo

anti-anemo /hj

EPISODES —

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

tba

EXTRAS —

random anemo tweets

kuniyn photoshoot bts

random anemo bubble chats

tba

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The poor unsuspecting Albedo, Xingqiu, Aether, and Venti of vigil!mc's hidden strength (wait does Ayaka already know about Mc's strength?). Just imagine they got attacked (Ayato is also with them) by like an abyss mage or something like that, and mc just straight up made that abyss mage fly up to the stars. Ayato is now even more terrified of her strength, and is actually thanking Ei that he somehow survived mc's strength and/or mc didn't punch him to hard

And another one has entirely left my inbox! Boy it was difficult to draw tons of characters in one setting ghgh but it's good practice so!

ONWARDS- (read: left-right, up-down)

because i will love you until i die, and even longer still

content: angst, learning to move on

character/s: albedo

note: i’m really excited to share this one with you guys!! i have been thinking about this angst prompt for a while now, and it basically centers the concept of grief and loss. i believe it’s a truly difficult journey to wrap your head around the loss of a loved one. sometimes even the smallest of their habits and likes that you’ve picked up still breathes life into them even when they’re gone. i think it’s a beautiful yet sorrowful lesson to experience in life - to learn that love isn’t always about holding on, but letting go - and it’s seriously inspired me to write this albedo story. for now i hope you’ll still enjoy and have a lovely day!!

ALBEDO

Happy birthday, my love.

Albedo jolted up from his sudden slumber, frantically glancing around his empty laboratory.

I thought I heard her…

He blinks, puzzle for a moment, before fully shaking himself awake and running a hand through his unkempt hair in frustration. How did he end up falling asleep in the middle of his work? And a very important project at that.

He glances down at the stacks of scrolls scattered around his desk and the heaps of books dispersed in the room - starting from the area near his feet trailing all the way to the exit of his laboratory.

I was a bit confused on what to give you as a birthday present, so I ended up sticking with a letter instead.

He stands up and stretches his arms, groaning sloppily from exhaustion. Albedo knew he had to clean before doing anything else - you would have reprimanded the life out of him if you saw his mess of a workroom.

It was currently 9:30 in the morning, and his stomach angrily grumbled, urging him to get some food. He ignored the persistent pain, bending down to gather the fallen books and trash disposed all around the room.

I hope you don’t mind this gift - there are also a few things I need to convey to you in my message as well.

A flurry of soft raps echoed throughout the silent laboratory from the entryway. Never batting an eye at the wooden door, Albedo continued to put away a few more items before eventually responding to the knocks. “Come in.”

The door creaks open, a shy and high pitched voice severing the tranquility of the area. “Mister Albedo, it’s me.”

“Sucrose.” He hums, acknowledging her presence. “What do you need?”

She awkwardly fiddled with her fingers. “You’ve been stuck in here for weeks. I was wondering if you wanted to go out and have breakfast with us. And Klee…insists for your appearance.”

Are you well? Have you been taking breaks like I’ve asked you to?

Albedo shakes his head, dusting his hands off as he stands up. “You know I can’t do that.”

Sucrose sighs. “I knew it.”

“So why bother coming anyway?” He asks, looking around the now tidy room.

She huffed at his stubbornness. “Mister Albedo, you know that isn’t good for your health. If Y/N were here-“

A loud crash echoes throughout the laboratory.

“Don’t say that.”

He seethes through clenched teeth, pent up frustration boiling in the pit of his stomach. In a fit of anger, Albedo’s hands had shoved the previously neat pile of books he arranged, and sent them flying back to the ground.

Even after all these years, hearing your name roll out of anyone’s mouth still sends him into a sensitive and frenzied state.

Sucrose knows that he is slowly dying inside. Anyone could see it in those lifeless pools of teal. Countless days and nights were spent locked up in the tiny room, experiment after experiment only to get his expectations crushed. It had eventually reached a point where even the archons could tell that the great and brilliant Albedo was simply clinging on to the last thin strings of false hope.

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

“I’d voluntarily exhaust the rest of my life making sure it does.” Albedo retorts, eyes fixated at the mess beneath his feet, never daring to meet hers.

Sucrose nods, glancing with pity at the unreadable man with clenched fists standing in front of her.

As I thought. He’s still persistent.

“Alchemy has it’s limits too. That’s all I’m saying.”

Without another word, she quietly slips away through the exit, making sure to shut the door behind her and leave Albedo alone with the voices in his head.

I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to come up with the best way on how to celebrate your birthday.

Not again.

He scoffs, looking away from the scribbled writings on the board down to his chalk - once the length of his index finger, now reduced to a minuscule size. Tossing it behind his shoulder, his fingers dive in to reach for another, before it dawns upon him that he’s finally run out of it.

Archons, this is so damn irritating.

We could pick cecilias and stargaze on Starsnatch Cliff.

Albedo massaged his forehead in frustration, glancing over at the barricaded windows he blocked months ago to obstruct any light from entering the tiny room. It had been weeks since he left the laboratory, and he knew the day would eventually come when he depleted all of his necessary materials and needed to replenish his supplies once more.

Hesitantly reaching for his white dusty coat, he throws it on himself while delving through his pocket for his keys, before carefully approaching the exit of the dark and grimy laboratory.

Or perhaps we could have a nice picnic at Windrise and watch the dandelions flutter in the breeze.

The sun’s harsh glare that peeked through the towering establishments of Mondstadt caused Albedo to wince and squint his eyes at the sight of it.

Today was especially crowded than the usual, or perhaps he simply forgot how the world once looked like before he locked himself out of it. And the longer he stayed with the multitude, the more Albedo felt like he was suffocating as he presently stood amidst the packed jam of bustling citizens.

With one swift motion, he slithered through the crowd, muttering the occasional ‘excuse me’s or incoherent apologies to people who stood in his way.

We could even spend the day cooped up in your camp at Dragonspine. Anywhere is perfect as long as it’s with you.

“Chief Alchemist…?” Flora asks in confusion, blinking once more to check if her vision had betrayed her, upon staring at the man no one had seen for a long period of time.

“I need more flowers.” Albedo hands her a leather bag filled with coins. “Cecilias, if you will.”

“A-ah, right away!” She exclaims and quickly rushes to work, still a bit weirded out to acknowledge his existence back around the streets of Mondstadt.

Albedo tapped his foot in waiting, glancing around the area to make sure no one he knew would notice him.

“I..heard about what happened.” He hears Flora say, and looks back at her, with a bunch of potted Cecilias in a crate on her desk. “I’m sorry for your loss, Albedo.”

He shakes his head rapidly, picking up the crate. “It won’t be a loss soon enough.”

Flora doubtfully nodded as she watched him walk away, wondering if he truly came up with a solution that would eventually fix his problems, or if the alchemist was simply being…delusional.

Anywhere with you…

“Albedo?”

He freezes in his spot at the voice calling from behind him.

“Is that you?”

…Albedo, I have to tell you something.

A hand reaches to clasp his shoulder, and he forcefully comes face to face with familiar purple irises and an eyepatch.

“Wow…I never thought you had it in you to leave your laboratory.” Kaeya grinned at the short man.

Albedo shoved his hand off, beginning to pace away before gathering more unwanted attention. “I’m already headed back anyway.”

“So quickly?” The blue haired man chirpily asks, following right behind him. “You’re very persistent in this new project.”

“I would have greater progress in doing so and in making my way back if you’d just turn around and leave me alone.”

Kaeya clicks his tongue playfully. “Aw come on, at least have a drink with me. We haven’t properly talked together since-“

“Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you never speak again.”

I’ve been denying it for a while now, because I feared losing a great deal just to admit the bitter truth.

Kaeya pauses upon hearing Albedo’s cold and unfamiliar tone. Everyone had been affected upon hearing the news, but Kaeya knew deep down that the blonde had suffered the worst out of them all.

“I know you’re grieving.” He says calmly, putting his hands in his pockets. “We all are. But you can’t just ignore the truth anymore.”

“You’re wrong.” Albedo counters, a wave of foreign emotions crashing around inside him. “I’ve never ignored the truth. I simply thought beyond it.”

Now that it’s standing right in front of me, I can’t just run away anymore like I did for a long time.

“Not even the archons are capable of doing this.” Kaeya says in a fit of frustration, throwing his hands up in the air. “And you seriously believe you can make it work? What the hell makes you so different, anyway?”

“The only difference between me and all of them is that I still haven’t given up.” He says scornfully, glaring over at the man’s direction.

“Not like the rest of you.”

So this is me being brave. I’m sorry it took so long for me to say to you.

Kaeya scoffs, astounded at his resolve. He was aware Albedo was highly intelligent and completely logical, yet at this rate he was just straying away from his original path.

So this is what he chose.

He looks down with surrender, solemnly nodding at the alchemist’s pitiful answer.

“Or perhaps you just don’t know how to let go.”

I’m dying. I think I have been, for a while now.

Albedo stands alone once more in his laboratory.

Perhaps you just don’t know how to let go.

He gently sets the crate of Cecilias on the ground, and carefully walks over to his desk, rummaging through scrolls and books until he finds what he’s looking for. Albedo reaches out for it, and hesitates for a second, before picking up a picture frame that had been face down for a while now.

They say it’s a rare disease - that I can’t be cured. And that I have two months left.

It was a photograph of you smiling amidst the dandelions, your white dress billowing in the wind. He remembers it like it was yesterday, watching you goofily twirl around barefoot in a bed of grass, while he grinned and held up a camera to capture the memory of your beauty.

The sound of your laughter haunts him until this day, and Albedo can hear it echoing around the empty room, almost as if you were standing right beside him. He shuts his eyes and swallows a bile forming in his throat, feeling tears prickle in the corners of his eyes.

“Albedo.”

That’s on your birthday.

The frame slips in between his hands and crashes onto the floor with a resounding smash.

His eyes flutter open upon realizing what he had done, absentmindedly staring at the broken glass beneath his boots.

Please stop calling me, Y/N.

A little too coincidental, if you ask me.

Perhaps it’s fate reaching out to the both of us, saying that it’s finally time to stop.

Weaving through the shards of glass, he carefully plucks your photo from the mess, with blood-tainted hands. He stands back up and stares at the scattered papers and notebooks spread across his desk - a sign of grueling work he wasted months perfecting, only to realize he hadn’t even reached half of it.

Alchemy has its limits too.

He falls back onto his chair, this time unable to stop the tears from tumbling down his cheeks, and the uncontrollable sob that escaped past his lips.

My love, I know it’s hard. I can’t even imagine my life if I was the one losing you.

The tucked away flashbacks of you start to slip out from the locked part of his mind, swirling around like a tornado that had been waiting to destroy everything around it. His vision blurs and the world spins, and for a moment he swears he can see you standing across his desk, looking down with tears at his vulnerable self.

But we have to remain brave even in the face of danger.

“I love you, Albedo.” You whisper, gripping his chilly hand tightly, smiling up at his teary face.

Even if it kills us.

“Please don’t leave me, Y/N.” He says, with a traitorous crack of his voice at the end of his sentence, unable to bear the sight of you weak and helpless on your deathbed.

Even if it means we end up alone at the end of the road.

“Big Brother Albedo?”

But that will never be the case for you.

Albedo finally looks up from his desk, stunned upon seeing the hazy figure of a little girl in red standing by the entrance of his lonely laboratory.

“…Klee?”

You will never end up alone in this path.

She hesitantly remains rooted in her spot, clutching the doorknob in her little grasp. “I - Sucrose told me I wasn’t allowed to come in…” Klee nods at herself. “But I heard a crash and I ran away, to see if you…were okay.”

Am I okay?

It takes a moment for him to process her words before he nods at her, hastily wiping the tears off his cheeks and sitting up straighter.

“I miss her too.” Klee quietly says with sorrowful eyes.

“But Big Sister Y/N won’t come back anymore.”

I know.

Promise me you won’t try to save me.

It was the simple and blunt truth, yet Albedo couldn’t help but run away at the face of it.

“You can…come in if you want.” He voices hoarsely, making gestures for her to do so.

She nods doubtfully, slowly walking over to his side, carefully stepping over the glass left on the ground.

Let us accept mortality, even if it makes us lonely.

“Is that her?” Klee asks, pointing her little fingers at the slightly crumpled photo lying on his desk.

“It’s the last one I have of her.” He whispers, holding it out to let her get a better view of it.

“She looks happy…” Klee trails off, touching it gently. “I’m sure she’d want us to be happy too.”

And don’t be afraid to be happy without me again.

The sound of footsteps rushing towards the laboratory echoed around the hallways, and perks up Klee and Albedo’s ears upon hearing it.

“Klee!” The two turn to see a figure panting by the door.

“I told you…not to run away.” Sucrose huffs, leaning by the wall to gain support for her body.

“Sorry.” Klee sheepishly apologizes, guiltily rubbing the back of her head. “I just wanted to see Big Brother.”

“I’m surprised…he let you in anyway.” She remarks, raising an eyebrow at the quiet alchemist.

Because I promise I will love you until I die

He looked down, noticing an envelope stuck behind the destroyed frame. Picking it up, he examines it while letting Sucrose and Klee talk for a moment.

Flipping to the back, his eyes widen upon seeing the date and signature scribbled behind the paper.

September 13, Albedo’s birthday gift

“Is your offer…still up?” He asks, eyes flickering back and forth from your picture to the envelope in his grasp.

“What do you mean-“

“Although…perhaps it would be more fitting to have lunch now.” Albedo states, before slowly setting the possession down and glancing over at Sucrose and Klee.

“If you still don’t mind me joining you, that is.”

and even longer still.

“Of course it is!” Klee exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. “We can make up for breakfast tomorrow, and the day after that, and for the rest of our lives!”

Albedo smiles, standing up from his chair, as Sucrose nods at the little girl’s cheery declaration.

“For the rest of our lives…that sounds lovely.”

Yours always and forever, Y/N.

P.S. I’ve attached a long list of ways on how to celebrate your birthday (and the next ones to come) with everyone else. Have fun - and more than anything, don’t be afraid to try again.