Jeno-has-jaem

does this look like an 800 number to you? - k.hj

spirit!kim hongjoong x gender neutral!reader

tw - implied suicide (do not read if such topics will trigger you), mild description of wounds, very brief fluff in the beginning, angst

word count: 3k

a/n: i know this is a half hour late for halloween i'm sorry don't @ me about it

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The voice was so sudden and loud that it made you tip over as you scrambled to get away from the ouija board in the middle of your living room floor. Your head hit the floor hard and you winced, the pain making tears sting your eyes.

“Ow,” you whined, squeezing your eyes shut. You made no attempt to get up and no more words came from anywhere near the ouija board. You must’ve imagined it. You let out a soft sigh. In your desperation for company you’d imagined that the cheap board you’d gotten from a thrift store had actually summoned some sort of presence in your crappy, dank apartment. Now the tears welling in your eyes were less from the pounding ache in your head and more from how pathetic the whole situation was. Who the fuck uses a ouija board to find company anyway?

“Hello? Did you knock yourself out? I asked you a question.”

You huffed softly. Why was the voice still there? You sat up, pressing a hand to the back of your head to try and quell the pain while you sniffed away your tears. There was no point in crying now. You should probably just order take out and get some sleep. Your vision cleared and you went to get up, only to find a man sitting cross-legged across from you. Oh.

“So?” he asked, clearly irritated. “Can you explain why I’m here?”

His mouth was pulled into a frown but otherwise he looked pretty normal. Like any other person you’d see on the street or at the grocery store. Surely this isn’t what ouija boards were supposed to dredge up, right? But he was here and clearly waiting for an answer anyway and you figured you might as well give him one.

“I wanted company,” you blurted out. You cringed at the overly honest answer. Judging by the look on the man’s face he had definitely expected a better excuse.

“Does this look like an 800 number to you?” he asked, gesturing vaguely at the ouija board.

“No,” you said, feeling shame crawl up your chest. It was just your luck that you’d summon a dickhead spirit. The tears came springing back and you could feel your cheeks start to burn from holding them back. Spending Halloween night alone with nothing to do and nowhere to go was bad enough but now you were being scolded for wanting something better to do, which was definitely worse.

“Hey, did you hit your head hard? Why are you crying?” the man asked, his voice suddenly much softer than it had been just a minute ago. You shook your head, hiding your face behind your hands.

“No, I’m fine,” you mumbled. “You can leave, it’s whatever.”

“I’m already here now,” he replied, now only slightly annoyed. You heard shuffling and suddenly there was a cold hand on the back of your head. You uncovered your face and found that the man was kneeling in front of you, his frown less intense and his eyes fixed on yours. “Did you hit your head hard?”

“Yeah,” you said, voice still unsteady. He grunted, letting go of your head and taking a hold of your face instead, wiping away your tears roughly and with little care.

“Well you kind of deserved it. Being dragged here like this is annoying. Ouija boards don’t bring us here by choice,” he said, letting go of your face. Now that he’d reprimanded you a little more his frown disappeared entirely, a neutral expression taking its place. “You’ve got your company now. Do you have any food?”

You blinked, your brows furrowing as you tried to understand what he was saying. Was this really how ouija boards worked? What kind of spirits turned up to scold you and then ask for food?

“I was going to order take out,” you told him, at the sound of which he pulled a face.

“Let’s cook something,” he said firmly before standing up. He took a moment to dust himself off, looking around your small living room to inspect your belongings. When he turned his head you noticed a wound in his head. It was bloody and the flesh around it was mangled, although you couldn’t see much of the damage thanks to the dark dry blood. It sat almost at the back of his head but slightly to the side of it, and now that you knew where it was you noticed it when he was facing you directly again. He turned the other way, eyes dragging over the shelves by your TV, making another wound visible. This one was significantly smaller and significantly cleaner as well. You chewed on your bottom lip, suddenly very aware of the nature of the man standing in front of you. “You must’ve hit your head pretty hard. Come on, let’s cook.”

He turned his head a little and you found that he’d been looking at you the whole time. Or more so watching you look at the wound in his head. For the second time since he’d shown up you felt your face burn with embarrassment.

“Yeah, sorry,” you mumbled, standing up and walking the few steps it took to get to your kitchen.

The man wasn’t particularly helpful but you supposed you couldn’t expect much after summoning him from wherever he had come from. He boiled noodles and ate crisps while you fried and cooked the few vegetables you’d found in your fridge, the silence between the two of you a little awkward but not tense. You were still frying the vegetables when he sidled up to you, his shoulder almost pressing into yours.

“Can we put on some music?” he asked, smiling when you nodded. You handed him your phone and he navigated YouTube with ease, making you wonder when exactly he’d passed away. His clothes were a little weird (who the hell wears pants that are half plaid and half denim?) but only in the way that fashion is weird. They didn’t look outdated at all. Before you could ask about them, the kitchen filled with the sound of music playing from your phone. You glanced over at the screen and saw a logo but not much else. He seemed pleased, lifting himself to sit on the counter while you poured sauce over the vegetables.

“ATEEZ?” you asked, squinting slightly to see the logo better. The man hummed in response. “I’ve never heard of them.”

“They’re gonna make it big soon,” he said, nodding solemnly. “They might have a Spotify page up, you should check it out.”

He had a different expression on his face now. In fact it’d be more appropriate to say that there was no expression on his face at all, what with the way his eyes were unfocused and his lips were pressed into a thin line. You looked at the wound in his head again. You could see into his head now that you were closer to it - could see the crater where his brain and skull and scalp should’ve been. Your stomach twisted at the sight and you concentrated on the pan in front of you.

“Can you drain the noodles and split them into two bowls?” you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace he’d found now that he was listening to music. He hopped down from the counter and did as you asked, letting you spoon the vegetables and sauce over both portions of noodles. He grinned at you once you were done.

“This looks way better than take out,” he said, picking up both bowls and carrying them to the living room. You followed after him, picking up your phone and scrolling through the recommended videos. A few videos down a thumbnail popped up of a few guys sitting in what looked like a basement with a shoddy recording studio set up around them. They were grinning at each other - wide, childish grins that you recognised from old photos you had with your own friends. The kind of smile you can’t hold back regardless of how hard you tried. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d smiled like that. It took a few seconds for you to realise that the boy sitting in the middle was the same man now sitting in your living room. You checked the title of the video. ‘ATEEZ - Treasure’. You’d listen to it later, you decided.

You found the man sitting on the floor in front of your coffee table, shovelling noodles into his mouth and clicking through TV channels. His eyes widened almost comically when he saw you, his ears turning pink.

“Sorry,” he said through his mouthful of food. He chewed and swallowed before speaking again. “Sorry I started without you. Nobody’s cooked for me since-”

He stopped talking, his mouth still halfway open with no sound coming out. There was a long moment in which he looked like he might just evaporate in front of you - whether it would be out of embarrassment or sorrow you couldn’t tell. But then he blinked a few times and shut his mouth, turning his attention back to the TV.

“There should be horror movies on, right? Isn’t it Halloween?” he asked, handing you the remote control.

“Yeah, you just didn’t find the movie channels,” you explained, clicking through the channels until you found one playing a movie. “Have you seen Nightmare on Elm Street?”

“Of course I have. Johnny Depp’s really hot in it,” he said.

“Lucky for you,” you said, snorting softly at his comment. He grinned when he looked up to see that Nightmare on Elm Street was playing on the TV, looking over at you and laughing softly.

“Score,” he murmured.

The two of you ate quietly after that, occasionally commenting on the actors in the movie or the special effects. When the movie came to an end you left him with the task of finding another movie to watch while you washed the dishes, the small apartment filled with the white noise of the TV playing and the man’s quiet humming. When you came back to the living room he’d made himself at home in a corner of the sofa, eyes concentrated on a movie you didn’t recognise.

“Thanks for doing the dishes,” he mumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and picking at a loose thread on his jeans.

“You’re the guest, you don’t have to thank me,” you said, smiling a little. You didn’t want to say it out loud but you were more than happy to wash his dishes and watch the horror movies he was picking out. You hadn’t had a friend over like this in so long - not a friend or acquaintance or anybody - and you'd started to think you weren't going to have anyone over ever again. Sure, he’d been irritable at first but now that he’d settled down he was a pleasant presence. You sat down on the sofa with a soft sigh. “If you want anything just let me know.”

“I want one thing,” he said not a second after you’d spoken, looking over at you with a more serious expression than you’d seen on him since he’d turned up.

“Sure, what is it?” you prompted, his stare making you uncomfortable. You felt stripped bare by the way his eyes narrowed for a split-second, his hands completely still as he looked at you.

“Why did you use that board?” he asked. “Not in the way that I asked you earlier, like ‘what the fuck are you doing’. It’s not like you have any friends here for it to be fun. You didn’t even light candles or any of that spooky stuff. So what was the point?”

You paused, opening and closing your mouth until you realised you must look like a goldfish and you shut your mouth, looking away from him. It wasn’t a very personal question but it certainly felt like one. Maybe it was the sincere tone in his voice or the fact that he was still staring but you felt like you’d been shoved under a spotlight.

“I told you, I wanted company,” you said finally. It wasn’t entirely a lie after all.

“Okay. But you know that you’re alive, right? You can go out to clubs or to friends’ houses or invite people over - other living people,” he said. His tone wasn’t accusatory but you felt a little childish now that he’d put it like that. “You don’t have to call on the dead.”

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat as you tried to figure out how to answer him.

“I just didn’t have anyone. To go out with or visit or invite over,” you explained, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t have anyone.”

He didn’t say anything for what felt like far too long and you turned around, scared that he might’ve disappeared, but he was still in his corner of the sofa, still staring steadily with his hands placed on his knees and his lips parted as though he was trying to come up with something to say.

“You don’t have to answer, let’s just watch the movie,” you mumbled sheepishly, angling your body away from him so that you wouldn’t have to feel his eyes on you anymore. Once again he didn’t reply. Instead, you felt his hand close around your wrist. His skin was so cold it made you jump, your head whipping around to find him sitting much closer to you than he had been just seconds ago.

“No,” he said. “You’re not alone.”

“What?” you asked, drawing your wrist out of his grip. He let you do so and leaned away from you slightly, his lips forming a frown.

“The last time someone cooked for me was a week before I- a week before I died,” he said, eyes never leaving yours. He visibly swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting up and down. You wondered if he had the same lump in his throat that you did. “It was my best friend. We were watching movies in my apartment - us and all of our other friends. He cooked for us. We helped him but he always took care of us, so he did most of the cooking.”

You wanted to understand what he was trying to say. From the way he was struggling to keep a straight expression it was clear that he’d made a connection you hadn’t noticed yet and you waited for him to explain.

“And they stayed over for most of the night but when they left I should have-”

He paused and you noticed how his hands were no longer still but shaking. You took them into yours and gave them a soft squeeze. He inhaled sharply, finally breaking the eye contact he’d been holding for so long.

“I felt alone, like you do. I knew I could go out or go back to his place or just ask them to come back but I didn’t,” he said. He looked back up at you, his lashes wet and his bottom lip shaking. “I didn’t mean to- I should have called someone.”

“Hey,” you whispered, reaching forward to pull him into you. He hugged you tightly, clinging to you as though his existence depended on it. His tears soaked through your shirt and your own vision blurred at the feeling, your heart sinking in your chest. “Don’t cry.”

“Hypocrite,” he mumbled between sniffles without any real bite. His hand moved up and down against your back slowly, soothing both you and himself until neither of you were crying anymore. “I made it so I can never see them again. We were gonna make it big together. My friends are really- they’re so talented and I wanted to be there with them when they-”

You shushed him, not wanting him to work himself up again. He shook his head and hugged you tighter.

“You’re not like me. You can still call someone,” he said, his shoulders shaking as he suddenly pulled back to look at you, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly. “If you don’t have anyone I’ll give you his number. My best friend. He'll answer. I know he will.”

There was so much desperation in his voice that it only made more tears roll down your cheeks. He let go of one of your shoulders and wiped your cheeks with his thumb. He was a dozen times more careful than he had been when wiping your face earlier and it made your heart ache.

“I’m a stranger, he won’t answer,” you whispered. The man in front of you shook his head.

“He knows that people need somebody sometimes,” he said gently. “He’ll take care of you the way he took care of me, okay?”

You could tell that wasn’t really the sentence he wanted to say but you didn’t need to hear him say it to know what he meant.

He’ll take care of you the way he can’t take care of me anymore.

“I know I said that ouija boards aren’t supposed to be 800 numbers but you use that board whenever you need company, okay?” he said. His voice had returned somewhat to the harsh tone he’d had when he first turned up in your living room, finding a balance between caring and rude that was reminiscent of how close friends talk to each other. You smiled through the tears in your eyes and nodded. He nodded in return and settled against the sofa to watch TV, gesturing for you to lean into him. “There’s still some of the movie left.”

The next morning the man was nowhere to be found. The only proof that he hadn’t been a figment of your imagination was the extra bowl drying on the dish rack and the notification on your lock screen from a new contact named Seonghwa in response to a message that you remembered the man typing out into your phone. He was inviting you out to dinner with his friends.

The final piece of evidence was that you were now following ATEEZ on Spotify. Their top song started with an audio clip of the man you’d met last night, giggling and talking to the rest of his friends in what sounded like the happiest voice you’d ever heard. He was talking about the next album he wanted to write. His voice was nowhere to be found in the rest of the song.

It hurt to hear.

☆⌒

taglist: @lovely-ateez @sunsethw4 @seonghwanotes @xirenex @choiberry @peanutpmingib @sannierio @ateezinmymind

[4:08 PM] + superheroes + “what? you think I care?”

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 masterlist

“let him go.” you’re the first to get there, light on your toes as you land in the rubble of what was once a cute cafe you were meaning to visit during your downtime. that only angers you more, and somehow that helps the nerves crawling along your skin.

your eyes are pinned on the him, the blue flames that burn at the tip of his fingers, that seem to burn in his dark eyes, his long hair pulled back in a ponytail. his fingers are wrapped around a boy’s throat and, thankfully, the victim hasn’t been set on fire. yet. 

the moment you flew over the center square after receiving the alert, you knew this was different from the usual villain fights you’ve built your entire career on. heroes and villains were something of a capitalist ploy - you’ve spent plenty of dinners choreographing fights with your supposed rivals. it was supposed to be something of a morale boost for the general public, especially after people with powers began to emerge in extreme numbers and fear ran rampant. hongjoong told you it was to quell those who wished to cause serious harm, scare them with theatrical displays of the Good Guys beating the Bad Guys. affirmations really that would stop any real bad guys from attempting to destroy the world as they knew it. yunho always said hongjoong was a bit of an idealist.

an underground surge of real villains began to emerge and the delicate balance the hero-villain alliance managed to salvage for the past decade started to crumble. you figured it was bound to happen sooner or later - the hero-villain alliance was built on the backs of deception and money - it was never meant to last. yunho also tended to call you a pessimist.

Keep reading

When you died, his world collapsed, it felt like it lost color and his life suddenly held no meaning, living suddenly felt pointless, useless. What was the point of being alive now that you're gone?

You were his motivation, his life line, his home, Where will he return? Who else would understand him, and never judge him? Who else would be willing to love him for him? You were his pillar and he was yours, you were his everything. So what is he suppose to do now? He can't bring himself to even think about replacing you, no he will never love anyone the way he loves you, no one can even compare to you.

"It's time to move on from them, they're in a better place now" Someone attempts to console him, and with the way they had worded it as if you were easy to replace, as if you were easy to forget had his blood boiling

"Don't fucking tell me they're in a better place when they belong here with me."

Who I think could fit this: Diluc, Ayato, Kaeya, Childe, Scaramouche, Dottore, Pantalone, Capitano

scarachilde chiscara

Keep reading

"hands off! I'm taken!" — diluc .

synopsis !! you pick up your drunk lover from the tavern

note !! I finally posted something! my schedule is still full but things should settle down more by september :> enjoy this fun fic!

contains !! gn reader, ft. kaeya and others! alcohol consumption, not proofread

Your lover rarely drinks. Scratch that, he doesn't drink at all if he could help it.

So whatever encouraged him to drink tonight of all nights was beyond you. It wasn't his shift in the bar, yet he insisted you shouldn't wait for him as he might come home late from the tavern. Apparently, he'll be meeting up with Kaeya, Jean, and a few others.

You're overjoyed, of course! It's not everyday your overworking lover decides to take a break and meet up with his old friends, much less those who are involved with the knights. You practically pushed him on his way to socialize and have fun.

Perhaps he had too much fun.

It was past midnight when you stopped by the tavern, seeing as you lived nearby anyway.

Diluc sat amongst a small crowd. You recognize them to be Kaeya, Jean, Lisa, Venti, and Rosaria, each nursing their own drink in their hands. What surprised you was that Diluc had a glass of his own— emptied, and that Kaeya was pouring him another round.

"Ah, it seems like your ticket home has arrived, D," Kaeya muses upon spotting you. The redhead only huffs in reply.

"What a joyous occasion! Come join us, (Name)!" Venti cheers, swinging around his large mug.

It's only when you approached the group did you notice your lover's unfocused eyes, glazed over as he blinks away at nothing.

"What did you do?" You raise an eyebrow, eyes narrowing suspiciously at Kaeya. The Cavalry Captain raises his hands in defense.

"You're accusing me? I'm hurt," He chuckles, "You and I both know he isn't so easy to trick into drinking."

You glance over at Jean, who gives you a sympathetic laugh, "It's true. Surprisingly, sir decided to drink tonight. It wasn't that much, I assure you."

"Wasn't that much, she says, yet he looks just about ready to pass out," Rosaria mutters, sipping on her own glass. You let out a sigh, seems like you'll be responsible for taking him home tonight. You're not bothered at all, in fact, you're a little glad he decided to let loose and have fun, no matter how unusual it seems.

If anything, it's a little funny to see him look gruff and cold, he doesn't even seem drunk until you notice the flush on his face and the spin in his eyes. Grabbing an empty glass and filling it with water from a pitcher, you gesture for the redhead to drink.

"Come on, 'Luc, drink some water and let's get you home."

He turns his head away to the side. You raise an eyebrow.

"'Luc, drink some water."

"No."

". . . You need to sober up–"

"No."

His head arcs further away from you, arms crossed. You glance at his face, is he. . . is he seriously pouting right now? Kaeya chuckles next to you. You aren't sure what kind of drunk shenanigan is going through his mind, but you decided to let it slide, opting to bring him home instead.

"Alright then, let's get out of here instead." With a hand on his shoulder, you gesture for him to stand but he wacks it away. Diluc? Your Diluc?? Wacked your hand away???

You blink at him before recovering to grab onto his arm, trying to pull him up, "Come on, 'Luc! We got to get you home!"

"No! Hands off!" He sluggishly pushes you, failing but he plops back onto his seat.

"What?"

"Hands off me! I'm taken!"

You freeze. The little group around you pauses as well. There's a loud snort in the air, presumably from Venti.

"Diluc, what?" You bite back your laugh. Laughing at the drunk is bad etiquette, you really shouldn't. You really, really shouldn't.

"I'm–" He slurs, facing you with a pointed look and a loopy glare, "Taken. Go find someone else to mooch."

Archons, help you not to burst out laughing in this situation.

Opting to giggle behind closed lips, you squat next to his chair, reaching out to cup his cheek but he scoots away from your touch.

"Diluc," You laugh, "It's me."

"Not- not interested."

"I'm literally your lover."

He blinks at you. You aren't sure if you got through him but he immediately stands upright, wobbling from the action. You catch him by the waist for support.

"Woah there, are you ready to go?"

"I'm going-" He tests his steps, "Going home to my darling, (Name)." With shaky hands, he pushes you aside, "I told you I have a lover!"

A loud laugh starts from behind you. Kaeya hunches over the table, gripping his stomach as the rest try to hide their chuckles behind their hands.

"Oh dear, my dear brother," The cryo user stands, wiping a tear from his eye, "Seems like you truly had too much tonight. This person here is assigned to take you to (Name)." The sly smile on Kaeya's face tells you to play along.

Diluc rubs at his eyes, everything seems to swirl, "Really?"

"Yes."

". . . Alright then."

Was he really that easy to trick? Your jaw could've dropped open. As expected of Kaeya who naturally dealt with all of Diluc's drunk shenanigans.

"Let's go then. . ." Diluc mumbles, glancing at you, "But no touching."

At his first step, he nearly trips over his feet if it wasn't for you grabbing onto his arm. You wrap it over your shoulder, pulling him upright.

"Surely, it's alright if I hold onto your arm?" You try to reason.

". . . Okay."

With a side glance at Kaeya and the rest, you nod them goodbye as they wave their pleasantries. Now that you're outside the tavern, you decide to take your drunk lover to your home nearby, a place he's frequently visited.

"Honestly, whatever made you drink so much tonight. . ." You huff, grabbing onto him and trying to get him to walk normally.

"My lover, you see. . ." He trails off.

"What about your lover?" You can't help but prod. Surely, you haven't done something wrong, right?

"Everything. . . Everything about them." Diluc mumbles, a sigh escaping him, "Just— amazing."

You can't help the way your lips sorts into a smile.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That must be nice. Is that why you don't want to go home with me?" You can't help but tease as he glowers, turning his face to get a better look at you. You notice the way his eyes look clearer now.

". . . As mentioned, I–" A groan, "Am devoted to my lover, no matter how charming you look."

"Mhmm, sure, yeah." You laugh, taking in his compliment, "You're devoted, alright."

"It's true–" He pushes away from you to fumble with his coat in an enthusiasm that's only seen when he's drunk, "Would you like to see the ring?"

Ring? What ring? You freeze in your steps as he digs into his pockets, pulling out an enclosed little box with intricate carvings. He opens it to reveal a ring– one you've only ever dreams of having (and receiving from him). The details, a testament to how much he knows what you like, while mixing in his own interests.

Your heart skips a beat.

"'Luc–"

"Archons, I'm nervous," He groans into his hand, carefully closing the box despite his drunken mannerisms, "I can't even– can't even sleep at night thinking about it."

You're still in shock as you gaze up at him. Sure, you've talked about a future together, but it always felt so far away— Diluc was too busy, always with something else to prioritize and it didn't seem like the right time for him no matter how right it was for you.

"Is. . . Is that why you drank?"

He looks at you with a raised brow, "Nervousness is one thing. I needed everyone's advice as well." Your heart flutters, was he ever this thoughtful? The answer is yes. You reach out to him again, hands as shaky as his own, but yours shook in happiness.

"Diluc, I—"

He lurches, a heaving sound down his throat as if threatening to puke. You reach out, holding onto him again with a small laugh, "Alright, alright, let's get you home first, Luc."

He groans in reply, voice wobbly and weak, "I'm. . . taken. . . "

"I know, my love."

•

Sunshine filters into the bedroom and Diluc shuffles under the covers. His head was throbbing, his throat felt dry, he's reminded again why he never drinks.

Grape juice is definitely better. Grape juice is yummy. Why can't he make a grape juice relaxant? He sure as heck can, what's his money for if he can't fund an entire academic foundation focusing on the production of anxiety-calming juice?

Before he could even begin to think about the business prospects and expenses to spare, your footsteps catches his attention as you enter the room.

"Slept well?"

He brushes his hair back, sitting up groggily, "I've had better nights."

"Here, have some water." You gesture to the cup in your hands to which he drinks from obediently.

"Thank you."

"I'm just glad that you're allowing me to offer you water." You bite back a chuckle.

"What?"

Standing up with a hum and a shrug, you turn away from him, "I don't know. Last night, you wouldn't even let me touch you."

His eyebrows furrow together, "That's ridiculous. Why would I do that?"

"Apparently, you have a lover, and I was trying to tempt you away into my home~"

Diluc freezes like a deer in the headlights, heat rushing up his face, turning it a shade as red as his hair, "I. . . said that?"

You laugh, turning towards him as you begin to explain everything that happened in the tavern and how his friends reacted. This only helped to worsen his embarrassment.

"I'm going to kill Kaeya. . ." he mutters under his breath, hiding away his face before peeking at you, "And then I suppose you walked me home? Did I. . . say anything after?"

You spotted the way his eyes glance to his coat, hanging by the door. Your lips twitch into a smile.

"Nope. You were quiet the whole way home."

You can't wait to embarrass him even more after his proposal.

masterlist 02 || commissions via ko-fi

note !! writing this made me all the drunk embarrassing moments 😭

taglist !! @absolut-wildflower @boundedbyfate @sadlonelybagel @eissaaaa @ladycoleigh @nejibot @milkypompon @bloodreaper08 @irethepotato @x-zho @roriver @mich-cola @mxsomn @ackrylik @nicebonescomrade @starforecasts @stygianoir @yuminako @eccedentesiast-sapphic @nebulaera @nuttytani @klutzkat @stygianoir14

6 ways to handle negative thoughts

1. Be concious of your thoughts. When you realise you are thinking about something negative, distract yourself.

2. Keep busy. Keeping your hands and mind occupied helps keep your mind off negative thoughts.

3. Avoid triggers. Avoiding negative things can help to keep you sane and positive.

4. Get rest. Lack of sleep really affects your mood and can cause your mind to wander back to those negative thoughts.

5. Listen to music. Listening to your favourite music for 30 minutes a day can have a positive effect on your health and day.

6. Talk about it. Sharing these thoughts with someone you trust can help prevent your mind from thinking about them.

different uniform. different side.

memes in sumeru 👌

hii congrats on ur 3k milestone!! :3

this is my first time requesting so i’m super excited here’s my order hehe

shunshine sprat + five pickled treasures + sakura mochi and pops teas + dango milk anddd mustard!

thanks so much :D

right where you left me. — albedo x gn!reader

‿୨♡୧‿︵ BON APETIT MY FELLOW CUSTOMER ! ︵‿୨♡୧‿

name of order. RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME.

date. albedo ( w/ gn!hanahaki-disease!reader)

receipt. sunshine sprat (albedo kreideprinz) + five pickled treasures (hanahaki disease) + sakura mochi and pop’s teas (angst with comfort) + dango milk (normal) + mustard (drabbles) with extras of reader having the hanahaki disease

spices. angst/comfort, hanahaki disease, mentions of blood, mentions of fainting, ooc (?), mentions of death

ingredients. in which you suffer a rare disease and have to choice between your love or your life.

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chef’s note. hope you like this, comrade !! im honored to be the first blog u requested to <333

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you always liked flowers.

there was always something about them that pleased your eyes. maybe it’s the colors that make each flower stand out from the rest on display whenever you walk past floral whisper, the way it makes mondstadt beautiful during festivals where people use them as decorations, or how they remind you of someone.

they remind you of albedo.

he’s pretty, just like them. he stands out, just like them. he grows, just like them. he’s admired, just like them. instead of its aesthetic that you admired from flowers, it’s the fact that they all reminded you of the chief alchemist that won your heart, just like how they too won your heart.

you were grateful that there are a lot of commissions from the adventurers’ guild that can take you to dragonspine, the place where the alchemist often goes to for his personal laboratory. you honestly could care less about the fact that the region is also one of the most dangerous ones known around mondstadt, but you didn’t care. besides, you have your pyro vision with you to help you warm yourself up from the freezing temperatures.

on occasions when you’re doing the commissions in the mountain, you often mine starsilvers and pick resources that you think would be helpful to both albedo’s paintings and experiments, using that as an excuse to stop by and chat with him.

he’s quite a charmer, you thought. though, not in a way like the cavalry captain that could make most ladies around the city swoon from it, but in a way that made you all the more fall in love with albedo more.

even if he’s just talking about the ways of life, paintings, or even his experiments, when you asked him to indulge himself with that soft-spoken voice of his, it charmed you completely.

he’s undeniably nice as well if need be. whenever you come by, he’ll immediately offer you a chair nearby and let you sit by the fire, knowing that you’ll be staying with him for a while to keep yourself comfortable from the cold. he also sometimes cooks up food for you if the both of you stayed longer than intended in the laboratory, and you could instantly hear wedding bells as soon as you first tasted his foods. how could a man be so perfect?!

you didn’t mind if his feelings for you were unrequited, your crush was just a small one anyway so it wasn’t a big deal.

until it became one.

it was one morning when you found yourself instantly waking up from something that’s rising towards your throat before you rushed towards the bathroom and tried to puke it out, only for you to be horrified at the sight of blood-covered cecilias on the sink.

it can’t be, you thought to yourself, covering your mouth in disbelief. how is this possible? how did i get the disease – wasn’t this just a small crush?!

it wasn’t, unfortunately.

as gods and visions exist in this world, so does the rare disease called the hanahaki disease: the disease of unrequited love. it’s not a common case to get it, but it’s one of the most severe ones that can be easily gotten for someone who falls in love with someone so badly. it doesn’t happen unless the love that the victim has is that strong and if the victim is unsure if the person receiving such affection returns the feeling.

due to this, this led to many people trying not to think about being in an unrequited love in fear of getting the disease.

you feel like a fool for assuming that the disease won’t get to you.

after the discovery of your hanahaki disease, you decided to go for easy commissions from the guild to collect your thoughts.

you cringed to yourself when you felt the flowers inside of your body whenever you inhaled, the petals and leaves brushing your ribs and lungs. you couldn’t help but shudder when you thought of the possibility of getting those prickly flowers instead of cecilias.

more importantly, was your crush on the alchemist not as small as you thought?

you genuinely thought it was. though, you can’t blame yourself for it since you never had a long-lasting crush on anyone with intentions of confessing since you never had such affections for anyone else until now.

that’s why you can’t bring yourself to try and go to the cathedral to get rid of the cecilias that began to sprout in your body.

you’ve heard of the consequences if one were to choose the removal of the cecilias. you either die from the flowers, or get it treated with the price of losing your feelings forever. how cruel could this world be for such a tragic fate?

you can’t afford to lose your feelings that just made you the person that you are. wouldn’t this mean that you’ll never get to experience the happiness you feel from flowers and from albedo? how could you fall in love with someone else after this?

that’s why you have decided to confess to someone about your condition.

“...oh.” is the only thing that came out of kaeya’s mouth after you told him about the hanahaki disease.

you let out a sigh, leaning back to your seat as the both of you wait for your meals in good hunter. “yeah… i didn’t know who to talk about this with since i’m sure they’ll just be too worried about my health to not answer my question, so i want your honest opinion about my situation.” you explained.

“so, what should i do if i don’t want to lose the only thing that makes me feel human?” you asked.

the cavalry captain stays silent for a moment to think deeply, his face unreadable.

“i’m not one to fall in love so easily,” he spoke casually, placing an arm around his chair. “though if i were to be in your shoes, i’d confess to the person first to see if there’s hope for me to let my feelings stay.”

“..and if the person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings…?”

“then i’ll have the surgery,” he answered. “there’s nothing else left to do than to either die or lose, and i’d rather lose than to lose my own life from something like this.”

you nodded slowly in understanding, though his answer doesn’t satisfy you.

before you could let the words come out from your mouth, you suddenly felt a cecilia rising up your throat once more, causing you to immediately cover your mouth with wide eyes.

kaeya seems to be taken back from your reaction. “are you alright?”

you didn’t manage to reply, feeling yourself dropping to the concrete floor from your seat as you cough out more cecilias, not caring about the sounds of people around you gasping at such a gorey sight.

you suddenly felt a cold hand on your back as well as a large shadow looming in front of you, and you realized it was kaeya who was covering you from people who were watching, causing you to continue coughing out more bloodied flowers to the ground.

unnoticed by you, however, a certain man was watching the scene from afar with his mouth open agape.

as days flew by, your condition and worries started to grow.

the current gossip around mondstadt is how the hanahaki disease has now been reported after not hearing the case for more than twenty years. if it weren’t for the cavalry captain talking to every single person who had witnessed your embarrassing outbreak, your identity would’ve been leaked as the poor victim who’s in an unrequited love.

just like the first day of your disease, you continued to do easy commissions that didn't require you to do much physical combat, and you couldn’t find yourself to visit dragonspine for albedo. what if he sees the flowers and finds out that you like him? wouldn’t he just lie about how he liked you back out of pity?

of course not, you knew albedo too well to not do that. he’d probably try to find something that could help you tolerate the disease if he were to find out about it. but you’re honestly too scared to test it and confess, not when you could risk both your feelings and your friendship with the alchemist.

how could you live without being able to feel and without someone such as albedo to make you feel happy?

it didn’t help that kaeya’s answer started to haunt you when you lay down on your bed at night to slumber, your stomach sinking whenever you thought about it.

there’s nothing to lose when you’re about to lose everything, but it’s scary to take the leap.

when a week had long passed, you started puking out flowers more frequently than ever, tears started to form in your eyes from the pain of cecilias coming out from your mouth one by one until you could breathe properly again. it was starting to become more brutal and you hated it.

it led you to no longer be able to do commissions peacefully without puking out flowers. you couldn’t hold the petals in like back then, and you could not afford to let people see your crisis again, not when those pity and horrified gazes made your stomach feel sick.

you still haven’t visited dragonspine either.

you assumed albedo must’ve been relieved that you’re no longer visiting his laboratory to bother him, because now that you have nothing else to do much, you realized how a nuisance you must’ve been to the busy alchemist.

it hurts your heart to think about him.

“stop thinking about him,” you mumbled to yourself, placing your hands on your heart as you stared at the ceiling with an empty expression. “you’ll only continue to hurt yourself in the end.”

even when you tried your best to not think about him, you couldn’t escape even in your own dreams, a reality where you’re with albedo and not suffering from the disease that you despise. deep down, you dearly missed visiting the cold region and its quiet atmosphere. you missed the feeling of a welcoming cottage that’s in the middle of nowhere when you arrived at his laboratory, the sight of the light from the fire nearby that illuminates albedo so beautifully that made you smile, the random topics you could think of for you to talk about, you missed it all.

“you should tell him,” kaeya told you one day when he visited your home, the usual smirk plastered on his face was no longer there. “you’re getting sicker and sicker everyday, you have to do i–”

“i can’t.” you spoke, your voice cracked as you looked down at the ground in shame. “i… i can’t bring myself to tell him. he must’ve been happy i’m no longer bothering hi–”

“he recently came up to me yesterday,” he interrupted. “he was looking for you.”

your breath hitches, looking at the cavalry captain in surprise. “why? does he need me to look for some–”

“he said you haven’t seen him for weeks. he wanted to see you to check up on you.” you immediately noticed how the blue-haired man brought out a wrapped item from his pocket, gesturing you to take it. “you should open it. it’s a gift from him.”

your heart beats in anticipation, and you hesitantly took the gift away from his cold hands.

kaeya then faces sideways. “i’ll leave you alone to open it, but i suggest you to meet him and tell him the truth before it’s too late,”

“because for as long as i know that man, i had never seen him being so worried until that day.”

the gift is a brooch. a handmade one.

made with perhaps the finest ores of mondstadt, albedo managed to create a beautiful brooch that matches you a lot. you honestly felt teary-eyed when you first saw such a magnificent jewel displayed.

it was the final push that made you finally decide to talk to albedo.

it seemed as though celestia’s on your side, because when you went past good hunter on your way to dragonspine, you came across to albedo, who was chatting with timaeus by the alchemy stand nearby.

“y/n?” he called out, the words he was supposed to tell to the man across from the alchemist died in his throat when he saw you.

you try to smile. “can we talk privately?”

albedo nodded without hesitation. “of course, i apologize for the sudden excuse, timaeus.”

the brown-haired man smiled reassuringly, giving you both a thumbs-up. “it’s no problem for me, i’ll be waiting for you.”

the chief alchemist nods in gratitude before he gestured to you to take the lead.

hence how you find yourself sitting by good hunter once more across albedo, who’s been staring at you ever since the both of you sat down.

“...listen,” you spoke up softly. “i.. i’m sorry that i didn’t visit you for weeks. i’m going through something that i want to talk to you about.”

“it’s alright,” he replied with a gentle look on his face. “i’m just glad i get to see you again. you can tell me anything.”

you hesitated for a moment, staring down at your lap. there’s nothing to lose, you reminded yourself.

“...i love you, albedo.” you said, looking back at the blonde-haired man with a serious look on your face. “i realized it way too soon, and.. i-i understand if you don’t return the same feelings, i just want to continue this friendship if you allow it.”

you could hear your heartbeat beating so loudly, you thought albedo could hear it too. you just hope those stupid cecilias in your body won’t ruin the time right no–

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he said after moments of silence.

your breath hitches, feeling your heart dropped.

you knew it.

“i’m sorry but i– Y/N!” albedo immediately stood up from his seat as you felt light-headed, your vision fading to black as you found yourself slowly leaning to the side. ah, you must’ve been at your limit now.

i’m sorry albedo, you thought to yourself as your body hit the ground with a loud thud, feeling the flowers starting to creep up to your mouth once more. i’m sorry you had to see me like this.

i’m sorry i wasn’t brave enough to do this sooner and sacrifice my feelings.

you slowly regained consciousness after feeling like you’ve been in the sea for so long.

the first thing you saw was the light, then it was the white ceiling, to be followed by the light coming through the stained glass windows of what appears to be the cathedral.

how are you still alive–

“y/n?” you flinched when you heard the familiar voice of the man that you last saw before everything went black, causing you to look at the doorway and see the disbelief chief alchemist standing there.

“..albedo?” you called, wincing when your voice was hoarse. “what happened?”

“why didn’t you tell me you had the hanahaki disease?” he asked, walking towards you. “you should’ve told me sooner–”

“i didn’t want you to pity me like everyone else.” you said, your hands slowly rose to your throat when you realized you could no longer feel the flowers inside your chest. “did you–”

before you knew it, you felt his arms wrapped around your upper body, causing you to gasp in surprise.

“you shouldn’t have scared me like that.” he spoke in a tone you couldn’t recognize. “you had no idea how… how worried i was when you fell down before i could even finished what i said – i thought i was going to lose you when i didn’t had the chance to say i love you back.”

your eyes instantly widen from his words.

“...you…” you stumbled on your words, trying to process what he had just said. “you love me back?”

he nods without a question. “of course i do.. i didn’t realize it sooner until i found myself missing your presence when you didn’t come by for a week.”

you shut your eyes closed. “i thought i was bothering you…”

“never,” he said as sincere as he can. “you could never bother me. not when i always looked forward to your visits. i even learned many recipes just so i can cook any food you want.”

your heartbeats grew loud as you feel your cheeks warming, and you slowly wrap your arms around him as well with a relieved sigh. “...i’m sorry i scared you like that.”

you feel him hugging you tighter, but not enough to make you feel like you’re suffocating. “just don’t do that again.. i don’t want to lose you.”

and at that moment, you felt like you can finally breathe now.