5 STAR DOME TOUR 2023: OSAKA DAY 2 | CHANGBIN

I want their blood in my hands, I want to see them fall apart under me, completely at my mercy.

This has been in my mind all day but the thought of skz ninth member saying she could identify others with her eyes closed leaving the boys curious if she could guess who's fucking her with a blindfold, if she gets it correct she can cum

this was such an incredible ask!!!!!!!! literally one of my favourites ever. and i just cant explain how fun this was to write so thank youuu!!!!!😍

Warnings: 18+mdni!! ot8 unprotected sex, saliva, sensory play(blindfold), hair pulling, spanking, nicknames, cumshots, banter, mention of voyeurism, multiple positions, size kink(not body size;only cock size), mention of breeding, sensory play (blindfold)

wc: 3.7k

~~~~~~

"Go on then," Seungmin says, gesturing to the empty couch situated perfectly in the middle of the room.

"This is going to be too easy. Being around you guys all the time, I know all your tells," you say, plopping down on the dorm's shared couch.

Here are the rules:

No members talking

No members moaning

No kissing

Once you guess it right, they pull out

Rewards if you win:

All members get to finish on you

You get to cum with their help

You're in the 3racha dorm surrounded by your 8 other members whose eyes are glistening from curiosity at what's about to unfold. You'd made a bet, of course you'd made a bet, that you would be able to identify which member was fucking you, no exceptions. They, of course, denied that was possible. So, here you are lying half naked, waiting to prove them all wrong.

Chan steps to you, kneeling down beside the couch, fingertips hanging off the side. His eyes are searching yours for any glimmer of hesitancy - any second thoughts. There of course was none. The slow burn of his stare makes a shiver run over you and you can see the wheels turning in his mind, you just wish you could pin down those exact thoughts.

"Felix? Blindfold." Chan raises his hand behind him, anticipating the cloth but not taking his heated eyes off of you.

You smile inwardly, knowing you're sure that you've gotten yourself into the best situation you could have. They're all hot, gorgeous even, men in their 20's ready to fuck you dumb over a bet. Their sex drives high, they're ready to dump load after load and that thought does not leave your cunt dry to say the least.

You've heard and seen all these men make themselves cum over and over again. The walls aren't that thick. But whether they know that is another story.

Now you're going to be getting a taste of what it's like to be on the other side of those walls. You can't help the elation that slides up your throat. These are your other 8 members. You've seen each other at your lowest and your highest, and now you wonder how this bet may play out in the group dynamics.

Who knows, it might just be the best thing you all could have done together...

Felix gives the black fabric to a patiently waiting Chan.

Changbin's giggle echoes through the room as you wink at him. He's just too cute.

"Bin, I'm cumming for you first." You smirk as you succumb to the darkness that is the blindfold taking away your vision. Blocking your most vital sense.

Changbin huffs out a clearly sexually frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. You hadn't even begun to think how even just the idea of this happening might have the members' imaginations running.

"Not gonna know which one of us is first though, angel," Hyunjin responds with a soft tease in his tone, close enough for you to hear the little whisper in his breath.

"Angel? Oh, careful Hyune...After that nickname paired with your cock, I might just fall in love."

"Everyone shut up this is taking forever," Seungmin says deadpan, flipping off the light. He was always impatient.

"You idiot she's blindfolded, we don't need them all off" Lee Know says, "she can't see anything anyway."

"You do it then," Seungmin bites back at Lee Know playfully.

"Boys, boys, let's all just simmer down hm? Keep this a zen fucking zone."

Han gets up, increasing the light in the room with the dimmer switch. Hannie - ever so attentive.

The room is silent, members grinding their teeth, stretching their fingers, waiting for your cue, presumably.

"We just gonna sit here chatting boys? Or is someone gonna stick their cock into me? I'm ready to win a bet."

The room bustles, voices whispering and winding to a halt as the first contestant climbs over you.

The couch shifts under you like a ship listing in the deep ocean.

Your back is supported on the couch, blindfold secured around your head, panties still on but already showing a thick wet spot.

A chill of self-consciousness floods you just for a second before it's replaced by the confidence of having your 8 members focused fully on you as they wait to fuck you in turns.

The first mystery man's hands slide the fabric down your legs, exposing your cunt to all 8 of your members. You feel so bare, so vulnerable, but so goddamn powerful. You can almost hear their hard swallows as all their eyes are glued on you, their cocks tripling in size in anticipation.

"Someone put it in," you say, tapping your fingers on your chin like you're bored.

Suddenly you're breached, their length sliding in effortlessly into your wet cunt. Your walls immediately shiver around the foreign feeling, clamping down. They're so deep it feels like a bubble might just pop deep inside your belly. The member's hips stop halfway as a gasp rips from your chest, an electricity running to your fingertips.

You stammer, "b-big," as their hands caress you, rubbing gentle circles over your skin, complimenting the deep, slow strokes. Their hands are large, fingers thin but sculpted so beautifully. He slides the rest of the way in, saliva dripping out of his mouth onto your tits. The warm liquid splashes onto your peaked nipples as their head dips down just to swirl it in circles with their tongue.

"H-Hyune!" you yelp mid-moan, knowing there's no way in hell that's not him.

"Fuck how?" Hyun says, stopping his movements and reluctantly pulling out.

You grasp your tummy as the removal feels so sudden, leaving you empty once more.

"You and your oral fixation baby, you're a deliciously messy, messy fuck," you say pinching your nipples, the wetness still stimulating you.

It's silent again as he climbs off the couch and another member replaces him.

You feel your cunt clench and flutter as you wait to be filled again.

The next mystery member teases his thick satiny tip in and out of you, inching himself in and then pulling out. The stretch is even bigger than Hyune, narrowing down your options to just a few.

"S-so p-patient," you exhale, pondering a few members that could bare minimum fit the category of patient.

He sinks in, pressing his chest firmly onto yours, his shirt blocking skin to skin contact. Your back arches as you adjust to the size of him as he bottoms out.

"F-fuck" falls out of your mouth as his hips pull back just to jolt forward again.

"Mmm, n-needs to feel close to who he's fucking," you pant, trying your best to focus on the task at hand.

He hits your spot immediately, his thrusts gentle but deep.

"Channie baby," you say in confidence. "F-feel you pushing into my c-cervix, can't not think of b-breeding can you?"

With a huffed laugh, he pulls out, leaving you empty and aching once more.

"Yep," he says, nodding his head and swiping his forehead in defeat. He starts to speak, likely wondering how you know he thinks of breeding all the time, but he stops his train of thought.

Just then you visibly shiver on the couch, thinking of all the times Chan has thought of breeding you. Sneaking into your room at night, just to fill you with his cum.

"Fuck," you hear a distant voice mumble in response to your body writhing.

The next member handles your frame differently, a little faster, planting you flat on your stomach.

He climbs over you, not wasting any time before bullying his cock into you. He's placed your legs close together, so when he slides in it feels like your cunt expands ten-fold, pressure building like it's your first time.

You notice he's a little thinner than the other two, the new angle puzzling you as to who it could be. You feel him pull out and plunge back in, as you wait for his tell.

You were puzzled for another minute, little moans running out of your mouth. Confusion subsides once his fingers grab your waist, peppering kisses over your hot skin wrapping around your waist. He's not so much thrusting anymore as rutting into you, his breath hot on your neck. He's needy, borderline insatiable. He's fast with his rutting, like he's speeding to get to the finish line.

Then it hits you.

"Jeongin," floats out of your mouth gently as the rhythm of his hips seems to have hypnotized you.

His pelvis continues pressing into you desperately as your ass cushions his every rut, a loud moan now breaking out from his throat in agreement.

"N-needy, just as I thought, still fucking me even after it's over, you say, chuckling.

You hear him puff out air, hands squeezing your skin trying to convince himself to pull out. Finally, he musters up the strength to slide out of you and off the couch.

"Fuck she's tight, how'd you guys stop?" he asks, panting.

"Number 4 here we go, my cunt needs more." You're feeling needy yourself, but you'd never admit it.

This member wants you leaning over the couch, ass in the air, your elbows just resting on the back of the couch, barely stable.

A loud smack lands on your ass, jolting you forward. You hiss from the sting, the deliciously painful bliss of it just as he nestles his silky tip into your gooey cunt.

"Lee Know," you get out before you even feel him fully penetrate you. It was too easy.

He pauses his movements as Chan's voice sounds.

"Are you sure?" Chan asks, trying to get into your head.

"Y-yes," you say right as the 4th member slides into you fully, not letting you adjust to his size.

His hands are bound in your hair as his hips speed up, his cock knocking into your spot with lightning speed, the intensity feeling like he's about to tip over a glass full of water.

"F-fuck Minho, m-more," you say before you can filter it out of your mouth.

"More?" Lee Know says, a smug tone painting the letters as he gives your ass another slap.

"Oh really angel? He gets to keep fucking you?" Hyunjin says, attitude thick in his silky voice.

That seems to snap you back to the reality of the situation as you swallow hard.

"Minho," you say, signaling him to, unfortunately, pull out.

He retreats with a growl, clearly frustrated from lack of finishing.

"You're intriguing Y/n."

"M-more than just your ninth member, I'm like a seer of all things," you say, snaking your head around towards where the now mumbling voices are coming from.

Your body is starting to tremble, the lack of your vision unlocking and magnifying all other senses within your body. Each touch from them is more rounded, each sound is sharper, you feel like a goddamn vampire with supernatural senses.

Hands grab you once more, pulling you down onto the cushion but keeping you slouched facing the front of the couch. You yelp from the surprise of changing positions so quickly, your hair getting messier by the second.

"Ooh surprises, I love surprises," you say just as the new member's warm hands hold your legs open in a wide v-shape in the air.

His rounded tip dips in once, twice, before sending all his weight into your cunt at once. The stretch was obvious.

A blood curdling moan rips out of you at the weight of the thrusts he's giving you. His hips are at a different angle than the others before him, his hips waving in an effortless thrust; one that scoops out your insides in the most intoxicating way. The smooth thrusts angle upwards, massaging your sweet spot that makes your eyes roll back.

You get lost in the rhythm he's giving you, not wanting your blissed out state to stop.

Suddenly you hear Minho clear his throat, snapping you back to reality.

"H-heavy c-cock, f-fucking incredible stroke game, wants me pliable...B-Binnie I know that's you...sp-splitting me in two."

Your cunt is pulsing around him, the stretch stinging so good your toes curl so hard, threatening to lose feeling.

He pulls out and you reflexively whine, "t-too fast." You trip over the words as your cunt feels utterly abandoned.

"Y/n, you're something, you know that?" Binnie says still stroking his hardened cock as he assumes his place next to the other members.

"'M aching." Your voice is thinner this time, like you're slowly slipping into a dream. You've nearly forgotten all about the bet, now you just have tunnel vision for your own release.

You were right, it was the best decision you could have made - doing this bet. But it was also torture having each member pull out when all you really wanted was to say fuck the bet and let them all have their way with you.

But your pride was not letting up.

The 6th member interrupts your thought as you're positioned onto your back, flat. The new set of hands press your wrists above your head, their fingers gentle given the sudden movement.

The new position makes your teeth capture your lips, tugging hard.

He takes a second to get comfortable, cock vibrating as he trembles from the pleasure of nudging his cock inside of you. He bottoms out in one thrust, pausing to collect himself once in.

All movements on his end have ceased, like he's trying so hard to control himself.

You don't even need one more thrust to know who that is.

"H-Hannie baby, you're trying so hard n-not to ruin me or yourself by cumming right...now."

You hear a hiccupped moan flutter from his pretty lips as he pulls out like he's caught fire.

"F-fuck," he says, turning away and closing his eyes to stave off the impending orgasm.

"Cute," Felix says breaking the silence that has droned on since you started this whole thing. "You look like you're actually gonna splatter cum all over yourself right now."

"H-hey you don't understand how w-warm sh-," Han retorts, but trails off as you hear him bite down on his hand.

You chuckle, amused by his lack of control. How his tip is just dripping with precum ready to explode.

"Yeah Hannie, I know you can't help it baby, m'just wanna take care of you." You say it with a little twist in your voice like you're egging him on.

Your body convulses suddenly, not long away from an orgasm ripping through you from the constant friction you've endured. You shut your lips tight, trying to calm the storm inside of you.

"N-no one slide in yet, or I'll cum."

"See I'm not the only one!" Han tries to defend himself.

"Y-yeah but you haven't just had 6 cocks in you," you laugh and can just sense the redness creeping into his cheeks.

Your members give you a minute to suppress the feeling in your stomach threatening to tear you apart.

"Okay, go," you say, ready for more.

Two more, you can do this, you coach yourself internally.

The next mystery member wants you on your hands and knees but still on the couch. A caress of their soft hands on your ass has you grinding back to get more.

"Mmm already making me beg...okay, I see you number 7."

They spread your ass cheeks before circling their tip on your stretched out cunt. He slides his cock up to your other, much tighter hole. He alternates nudging your sensitive holes, his hand massaging your ass in harsh circles.

With a grip on your hips, his whole length enters you. He's big, just like the rest, but there's a lean to his cock that you feel, prodding you in a new, gorgeous corner of your walls.

His fingers are digging into your skin hard, but his thrusts are just steadily increasing.

"Patient too, but wants their way with me," you whisper, circling your ass backwards to catch him deeper.

"Seungminnie you just wanna fuck me like your little pup don't you?"

He stills.

"C'mon Y/n. H-how?" he says, utterly shocked but still pumping you as you've grabbed his wrist now to try and keep him inside.

"I've heard you fuck your fist moaning. 'Such a desperate pup," You mimic him with a low growl just like you've heard many, many times.

"You like watching me like a perv?" Seungmin teases.

"You can watch me anytime Seungminnie, might even let you help."

You can hear his head shaking through the lazy corners of his laugh at your bold statement.

He gives your ass a little slap before climbing back off the couch, joining the others.

"Last one. Then you can cum." Chan says, his voice shaky from his own stimulation it seemed.

Member 8 wants you back on your stomach but rather than take you flat, he tucks a pillow under your hips to raise them a few inches.

"F-Felix baby, why even bother? I know it's you," you say through a very tired voice.

You hadn't realized how much they'd drain you one after another.

"You wanna cum don't you? Gotta guess all of us sweetheart," he says in a thick, deep Aussie accent that resonates in your ears and travels right back down to your core.

"Fuck Felix," you pant, feeling that rubber band tighten in your stomach again. "Don't play with me, its been a long night."

He adjusts the pillow once more, bending down to whisper by your ear, "might want to hold on sweetheart."

Reflexively, you press your ass towards him more, wrapping your fingers around the pillow beneath you.

"Just...like," he says, sliding the first inch in, before bottoming out with a flick of his hips, "that."

"Mmm" you hum. "Lixie, the t-type to look innocent but fuck you d-dumb," you say, your body jolting with each harsh thrust of his hips.

He speeds up not wasting any time in getting you both to your highs. Being the last member to go, he doesn't seem to be worried about pushing either of you too far.

"Wanna c-cum on your cock L-Lixie."

You know it might not be fair, to only let Lixie be the one to bring you over the edge, and on his cock nonetheless, but you thought you might die if another one pulled out of you not letting you release on them.

"I need to cum on c-cock."

Felix grabs the blindfold, pushing it off of your head and your eyes blur, colors looking more contrasting than you remember.

Blinking to adjust to the light, you see all 8 of your members stroking their cocks above you.

"What do you think hm?" Felix addresses the members. "Should we let her cum on my cock?"

"I-I won, I choose," you say through your teeth, feeling like you might explode if you don't get to cum soon.

"She's right, let our little bunny choose," Changbin says, kneeling now, stroking his cock at a new angle.

"W-want to be on top," you say.

You're straddling Felix now, reverse cowgirl as you watch the members mouths open, tongues swiping their lips, pained pleasured expressions painting their features.

You reach out, feeling around each one, going from member to member, running your shaky hand over their leaking cocks.

Never would you have guessed you'd ever be in this situation, having all 8 of your members wide eyed and at the mercy of your cunt.

And it felt fucking phenomenal.

Their eyes are all mesmerized by you, Felix's eyes glued to your ass bouncing up and down on his cock. His head is thrown back, his pouty mouth open in awe.

You ride him a little harder, his cock hitting your spot as your clit goes haywire from stimulation.

"Fuck m'gonna cum," you say, fingers dragging on Felix's thighs as you feel the rubber band finally snap deep in your belly.

As the wave washes over you, Hyunjin kneels in front of you beside Changbin, suctioning his puffy, warm lips over your nipple. The slight sting from how hard he's sucking makes you scream out as Felix drills you from beneath, helping you ride out your high.

Lee Know fists your hair, yanking your head back

"That's it kitten, 8 cocks enough for you?" he menaces.

Your body finally gives out as Felix and Chan hold your body up, preventing you from toppling over. Your muscles are seized with pleasure, your eyes closed in bliss.

"Fuck Y/n, babygirl, we've got you," Chan says, hands on your waist as your body continues undulating.

You make it a mission to make eye contact with each member as they furiously pump their cocks.

Hyunjin is the first to let go, the fixation on your breast tipping him over the edge. His mouth is sucking your nipple still as he shoots out ropes of warm cum on your chest and stomach.

The sight of him falling apart seems to trigger the rest of the members as they crowd around you releasing onto your sweaty, glistening skin nearly one right after the other.

Moans fill the room as they cum to the scene of the aftermath of your orgasm, as your body still jerks, electricity still running through you.

Felix taps your ass, "u-up m'gonna cum." He lifts you, counting on Chan and Lee Know to leverage your weight as you shoot up off of Felix's cock like a rocket. You bend forward, both members helping you to plant your hands on the floor so that you don't fall on your face.

A deep groan followed by heavy pants come from Felix as he empties himself on your back and ass, his warm cum making designs on your beautiful skin.

The front of your body is all sticky, cum falling off your skin onto the floor from the mess the guys made on you.

"Holy shit," Seungmin says, lying flat on the floor, spent.

Felix helps you upright and helps you off of his lap. "Y/n, fuck" Felix says, eyes looking like that definitely will not be the last time that happens.

You try to stand but your legs feel injected with jelly.

Chan catches your misstep. "Woah Y/n, you good?"

"See I told you, I know all your tells boys," you say, so pleased with yourself and utterly satisfied.

SO CUTE!!!

BANG CHAN ♡ SIDE EFFECTS M COUNTDOWN X KCON LA 2019 (190912)

BONUS: ENDING ☆

If the world was ending

Felix x reader. Estranged childhood best friends to lovers. Angst and happy ending. highly recommend listening to If the world was ending while reading :)

Felix has always been there with you, from the moment you've met him when you were 8 years old, until he suddenly no longer was, and you were left to grapple with the consequences of his absence- and those of his return.

cw: description of a car accident, reader has a fear of loud noises.

skz song series masterlist

12 march 2011 

Screeching brakes, a jarring collision, glass shattering all around you, shards of it embedding into your tender skin. You are too young to understand it all, but you know it's bad. You are suddenly upside down, the only thing helping you stay put is the seatbelt fastened around you. You didn't really like seatbelts but your mom always insisted on you wearing one.

Your mom, you can't see her face, she's upside down too, and she isn't talking. That's unusual because you're crying and she isn't turning around to comfort you. Someone is screaming outside of your car, and then you are pulled out. You don't know who's touching you, and you want them to stop. Where is your mom? Why did they not pull her out too?

An ambulance approaches you; its loud sirens feel like pine needles drilling into your skull. You try to cover your ears but your hands are covered in blood. The world around you is painted red- the flashing lights of the sirens and the liquid oozing from your cuts. It’s no longer your favorite color.

27 may 2011 

You are playing in the playground near your home, waving at your mom from the top of the slide. She's gotten better, she smiles more easily at you now. And you are trying to be a good kid too; you help wash the dishes and you clean your room all by yourself. You don't want your mom to feel sad again and go back to that dreaded hospital. 

You slide out, happy giggles leaving your mouth, before climbing up the tiny stairs once again. But as you reach the top, an ambulance rushes by the playground. You don't know what's happening, but you suddenly feel shards of glass on your skin once again. Your hands are shaking as you sit on the floor, curling around yourself in a ball.  

"What's wrong?" someone asks and you lift your head tentatively. It's a young boy, he's looking at you worriedly, a tiny pout on his lips. 

"I don't like ambulances," you hiccup, burying your head in your knees again. 

Suddenly, small hands cover your ears, muffling the shrill sound of sirens. They are warm and sticky from the red popsicle he’s still holding.

"Now you can't hear them," he giggles, his eyes disappearing into moon crescents. Despite your raging fear, a smile finds its way into your lips.

"What's those on your face," you ask with a small voice, pointing at the faint marks dusting his cheeks. 

"They're called freckles," he says proudly and you nod. 

"They're pretty."

"Thank you!" he grins at you, his hands still covering your ears. The tightness in your chest seems to dissipate slowly before his kind smile- the shadows never stood a chance in front of the sun. 

"What's your name?" 

"Felix. And you?"

"Yn." 

"We should be friends," he beams and you grin back, agreeing wholeheartedly. "We should." 

15 november 2021 

You are sitting on the grass of that very same playground, Felix still by your side. The night breeze is cooling as it brushes against your bodies, and you're wearing his red sweater. It smells like his cologne and your perfume- an intoxicating scent you've come to memorize by heart. 

His nose tip is rosy from the cold, and you can't resist tapping it playfully. "Your nose is pink," you giggle, and he smiles, gently bopping yours in return. 

"So is yours."

You look at him as he gazes up at the stars above. You love Felix, it has always been crystal clear to you. From the moment he planted the seed of his friendship into your soul, and throughout the years when it bloomed into something more, bigger than the two of you. It wrapped around your being entirely, binding itself into your every atom, until all you saw is his reflection in you. 

And you were tired of treading the line between friendship and something more. You wanted, no craved being with him, your yearning so intense it spilled from you each time he was around. In rosy cheeks and shaky fingers and eyes that soften only when they rest on him- evidence of your love imprinted all upon you. 

You take in a deep breath, before laying your hand gently on his cheek, turning his face to meet yours. His eyes widen slightly at the soft touch, and you lean in closer to him. You brush your nose against his, slowly, "to warm it up," you whisper, as his breath hitches in his throat. 

He's close, he's so close, you can almost taste the brownies you shared earlier on his lips. You can see his freckles ever so clearly, constellations you often find yourself getting lost in. Your hand is still on his cheek, and you can feel it burning up under your palm. 

You close your eyes, as his lips are now just a breath away from yours. It's electrifying- having him so near to the way you've always dreamed, fantasized about. But he needs to be the one to take the jump, all he has to do is lean in a bit, and you'd kiss him. You won't ever let go. 

"Lixie...," you choke out, "kiss me." 

"I want to." His voice is hoarse with emotion, as if fighting with himself for self-restraint. 

"So do it," you ask, swiping your thumb gently across his cheek. Your breaths mingle with one another in a dizzying dance. 

"I'm leaving," he says so faintly, you believe for a second that you've imagined it. 

"What?" you ask, leaning a bit away to be able to look at him. 

"I'm leaving," he repeats, his eyes tightly shut. "We're moving to another country, for my dad's job." 

"You're leaving me?" you ask, bewildered. 

"I'm not leaving you-"

"But you are. You won't be here anymore." You drop your hand, taking hurried steps away from him. Touching him didn't feel electrifying anymore, it felt horrible and nauseous, because you won't get to do it again. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-" 

"How long have you known?" 

"Yn..."

"Felix," you say, tone stern. "How long?" 

"Six months," he whispers and a bitter chuckle escapes your lips.

"When are you leaving?"

"In a week." 

The pain becomes unbearable, and you turn your back to him so he wouldn't see your rapidly falling tears. You are angry, as a disguise for the sadness threatening to drown you. Him leaving tasted like the salty water you gulp when you dive in too quickly into the ocean. And you did dive in, in him, in his soul and everything that made up Felix. And now he was leaving you, with no anchor to help you float again.

"Is that why you insisted on spending so much time with me lately? Because you were leaving?" 

"You need to understand I didn't know how to tell you, I- I don't even know who I am without you." He pleads, his own eyes shimmering with unshed tears, reminding you of tiny diamonds. That's how it is with Felix, you found beauty in everything he did- even tearing your heart in half. 

"Maybe you should've thought of how I would feel. You were thinking of leaving me while I..." Your voice breaks and you take a shaky breath.  "While I was falling in love with you." 

"I'm in love with you too," he quickly says, reaching out to hold your hand. "I love you, I always have." He's wrapping his arms around you, and you're letting him because it feels safe and secure. Because he’s still your Felix, even if he's leaving you behind. 

You wonder what you must have done in a past life, what a horrible person you could've been for the universe to treat you this cruelly. To hand you everything you've ever wanted in a silver platter, and snatch it from your hands before you could dare to grab it. 

"We'll make it work," he mumbles into your hair, placing a tender kiss on your temple. "We'll talk and we can be together."

"No, we can't. I'll just hold you back from living your new life, I can't have that." 

"Don't talk like that, please," his voice wavers, words barely managing to slip out of his mouth. Regret overtakes your body so suddenly at the thought of his lips- you shouldn't have tried to kiss him. Maybe then he wouldn't have told you he was leaving. 

"It's the truth. we'll grow to hate each other, distance will put a strain on us. I'd rather not talk to you than have you resent me." 

"But-"

"Just hold me," you cut him off. "As if nothing's happening, please." 

And he complies because Felix always does. Because he loves you and as much as he doesn't want to, he knows you're right. 

•••••

It's been three months since Felix left- the days passed by agonizingly slowly, and yet the months went by in a blur, a hauntingly vivid reminder of what once was. At first, the texts between you two were frequent, but as time wore on, the messages grew sporadic, from your end, mostly. Seeing him flourish in his new life felt like salt on an open wound, a reminder that he was moving on while you were still anchored in memories of him. 

You saw him in every corner of your city. The smell of brownies that he's made countless times, each time you felt sad. The way he kissed your cheek each time he won a game, while you were lying on his bed, bored. The way he hugged you whenever you were sick, gently tucking strands of your hair behind your ear. The way he covered your ears instinctively at each loud noise, knowing how scared it made you still. 

And you've felt each of these emotions since he was gone. You were sad and bored and sick and happy and scared. And he wasn't here with you through them. Each moment away from Felix seemed to magnify what could have been- what should have been between the two of you.

There is a building construction next to you, loud cement blocks crashing to the ground. And you are curled around yourself in a protective ball, covering your ears with your hands, because Felix isn't here to do it anymore for you. 

You and Felix have grown with one another, your soul carefully woven into his, like two threads intricately stitched into the same tapestry. Him leaving felt like half of your body was cut off from you, and you were left alone to figure out how to function with an incomplete heart. 

17 july 2023 

Summer break meant coming back home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom once again. Memories of Felix still lingered in there- posters he has given you and his red sweater that you've never found the courage to throw away. It doesn't hurt as much to remember him, the sharp pain morphed into a dull ache you've grown accustomed to by now. 

You're watching the TV mindlessly when someone knocks on your door, and you go to open it without a second thought, expecting it to be your parents. It wasn't.

"Felix?" you stammer, stumbling back in shock. You blink repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to make sure he's not a figment of your twisted imagination. You haven't uttered his name in so long, and the syllables felt both foreign and familiar in your mouth. 

"It's me," he smiles sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck. 

"You are here," you whisper, stating the obvious. He didn't change much, his kind brown eyes and freckles still as captivating as before. But his features were sharper, prettier, and the sight of him is making you dizzy once again. 

"I am." 

"What are you doing here?" You ask cautiously, opening the door a bit wider to let him in. 

"I requested a transfer to your university. I wanted to come back. I missed home, and I missed you," he adds softly, making a turmoil of emotions surge within you. 

You clear your throat. "So, you are back for good?" 

"I am," he says, smiling slightly at you as if to gauge your reaction. You stay silent and his grin falters; his tongue resting against the inside of his cheek, a habit he hasn't let go of apparently. He then walks to the kitchen and you follow suit. You don't have to show him around, he knows your home like the back of his hand. He spent most of his childhood here after all, even though his house was only a few blocks away. 

"How have you been?" he asks as he opens the cupboard to take out a glass. He closes its door softly, careful not to make it thud. 

"I'm good. It's summer break so I'm finally back home, what about you?"

"I'm good too. It's nice to be back." 

Your conversation is strained and awkward, so unnatural of you both. There was so much to say, so much to ask about, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He felt like uncharted territory to you now, one you didn't have the strength to discover once again.

"It's your mom's birthday tomorrow, right?" he smiles and you nod. 

"Should we make her our cookies? Like we used to before I..." 

"Before you left," you finish, bitterness dripping from your tone.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and you feel your heart suddenly clench in your chest. It was unfair for you to treat him this way. He was only seventeen and if your parents were to move away you would've followed them too. 

"Okay, let's do it." You smile sincerely for the first time since he came back to you. 

You both move seamlessly in the kitchen, each knowing your tasks like a choreographed dance. This was a tradition that started when you were twelve years old. You'd brown the butter while he beat the egg and sugar together. He'd sift the flour while you cut up chocolate. He'd mix it all while you preheat the oven. And then you'd roll the dough together. 

Your hands brush against one another as you shape up the cookies, and it feels so intense you almost drop to the floor. You miss him, you miss him so much and he's near you and you can't seem to think straight anymore. 

When the cookies are finally in the oven, he silently washes the dishes while you dry them. He abruptly pauses, hands still covered in soap before turning back to you. 

"Can we talk? Please?" he says too quickly as if he's been overthinking asking this question. 

"I'm busy today," you scramble to think of an excuse, you weren't ready to face him yet. 

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm staying with my mom, then there is Han’s party."

"I'll be there too. We can talk then, please?" he asks, eagerness evident in his voice. 

"Fine. Let's talk there," you concede and he nods, awkwardly shifting in his place. He finishes the dishes before drying his hands. You avoid his gaze and he sighs softly. "I'll get going. Tell your mom happy birthday from me." 

"Will do." You smile tightly and he does the same, before finally leaving your home, and in his trail, a maelstrom of emotions you weren't certain how to deal with.

18 july 2023 

You're at the reunion party Han is hosting with all your high school friends. You watch as Felix takes turns talking to everybody. He fits right in here, a puzzle perfectly clicking in place as if he's never left. He's telling a joke to Chan who laughs loudly, hitting Minho's arm repeatedly. Everyone is happy he's back, because they never had to gravel with the consequences of his absence. Because he's never ripped their heart out. 

Felix is looking for you around the room- he hasn't seen you in a while. He assumes you're somewhere around the house, and that you'd like to talk when time has passed. The knot in his stomach tightens as the weight of your conversation dawns on him, he longs to be with you, to undo the past two years he has spent away from you. But he's afraid to mess everything up, once again, so he stays near his friends who are now pulling him outside of the house.

"We have a surprise for you," Han says excitedly before pointing at the sky, "look." 

Fireworks, a dazzling show of blue, red and yellow. And Felix feels as if the colors were drained out of his face and splattered into the night sky before him.

"Where is yn?" he turns to Chan, eyes wide.

"Inside, I think. Why?"

"Stop- stop this, don't start any more fireworks," he urges the boy who's looking at him worriedly. 

"Why, what's wrong? We have a warrant to start them, don't worry."

"No, no you don't understand. Yn hates loud noises," he explains frantically, before bolting inside the house. 

He's yelling your name, and you are nowhere to be found, the sound of the fireworks so loud he isn't even sure you can hear him. 

He opens door after door, and after painstakingly long seconds he finally finds you in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, your head buried in your knees. Just like you were twelve years ago. 

Felix doesn't waste any time, kneeling in front of you to cover your ears with his hands, you look up at him, waterline brimming with unshed tears. 

"It's okay, I'm here. Just focus on my voice," he smiles reassuringly at you, and you clasp your hands on top of his, doing your best to muffle the sound of the explosions. 

"Your hands are still small," you attempt to joke, as hot tears trail down your cheeks. You hated how scared you still were. 

"The perfect size to cover your ears," he smiles at you, his eyes softening when they take in your distressed state. 

You hiccup, overcome by a new wave of emotion- for an entirely different reason this time. "You came." 

"I'll always come. Even if the world was ending, I'll... I'll come to you," he smiles, biting his lower lip to stop his own tears from falling. 

"It'd be useless if you came then. There would be nothing for us to do," you manage to say through shaky breaths. 

"But I'd be with you," he insists, gaze unwavering, "It will be scary for you. I imagine it will be loud, the world can't end silently." 

"Mine did, when you left." Felix's eyes go wide at your words, and you don't care that you are baring your soul entirely to him. "Please don't leave me again. I hate goodbyes with you." 

"Why would we ever say goodbye again, hm?" he reassures, his knuckles brushing against your cheek softly. "I'm never leaving you, as long as you'll have me, I'm here," he whispers, before pulling you into his chest.

Your hands find his back, and his cheek rests on top of your head. And you both close your eyes, an exhale of relief leaving you both at the same time. The world grows dark around the two of you, the only thing you saw was his heart and the overflowing love he still bore for you.

You felt as if you were wandering blind and you could finally see again, as if the string tying you to him wrapped tightly around the both of you, trapping you in his warm embrace.

You don't know what will happen next, but he's holding you now, and he'll hold you when the world is ending, and that is enough.

🏷️ unprotected sex, biting, crying, overstim

"tell me," felix growls, "am i cute now?"

he punctuates every word with a snap of his hips. the strength behind his thrusts drives you up the bed and you have to plant your hands against the headboard to keep yourself in place.

"n-no," you sob at a particular harsh stroke. felix has been at it for the better part of an hour now. your cunt clenches around him, swollen and sensitive from the overstimulation.

"told you so, kitten." he bites your shoulder hard enough to leave a mark. "but you wouldn't listen."

everyone always talks about how cute he is. there's felix, with his big smile and his pretty freckles. isn't he such a sweet boy?

felix doesn't care what others think about him. all he cares about is you. and you've always seen him as the kind best friend he is. but today it's finally time to show you his other side.

it had been a drunken dare. one that began in a fit of giggles and ended with you begging for more while he fucks you into the mattress.

o, how the tables have turned.

"can't believe i've gone all those years without hearing you make these pretty sounds, kitten." felix leans back on his heels and looks down at the white ring of cum you've left around his cock.

"speak up, baby. can't hear you if you're moaning like that. aww, is my cute little kitten too cockdumb to form words? how cute you are, letting me fuck your pretty pussy. you'll never underestimate me again.

"you like it when i talk to you like this? you don't have to answer me, kitten. your cunt says enough. you're clenching around me like crazy. feels so good when you're dripping for me.

"can't wait to fuck you full of my cum. you'd love that, don't you? didn't know you were such a filthy little thing. gonna make you cum again and then i'll fill you up like you're begging me to. can you cum one more time for me, baby?"

your body feels tense like a coil ready to snap. tears fall from your eyes when you force them shut. "i'll be good, wanna cum, lixie, make me—"

you cry when he pinches your clit between his fingers. your cunt squeezes around his cock and felix groans when he reaches his own high, painting your walls with white.

"you're gonna keep it in there for me, kitten. walk around with my cum inside your pussy all day. save it as a reminder of what i did to you. then you can come back for more."

every day o need to save money and then there is some kind of little fucking item

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also