That Was So Beautifully Written❤

That was so beautifully written❤

I refuse to think about how broken Philip must be for his mother’s death, but I can imagine him hiding in his room, a photo in his shaking hands, not going out even to eat, just assuring a super worried Gabe that he’ll be fine.. Until Lukas knocks at his room door, and Philip just tells him to please go away, that he needs time, that he needs to stay alone, but Lukas knows he needs someone but he’s just too used to be alone to ask for it, to know it. So every day Lukas just goes and knocks at his door, and every day Philip just gives him a peck on his lips and a tiny smile, but then says him to go…still Lukas is not so easy to convince, and he starts to sit on the floor, leaning against the door, and he just stays there. Reading a magazine about motocross and commenting on it and on the new, incredible, bikes one day he’ll be able to afford, listening to some new album and singing it off key, talking about that absurd new couple at school…because he was too young to remember his mom for real, but he knows the pain of not having her there and he can only imagine how desperate and alone Philip must feel, and he hurts just at the idea that Philip is in so much pain.  And then one day he starts telling his usual jokes and comments about something and he hears a tiny laugh, and he keeps going and the laugh is a little louder and he can *feel* that Philip is smiling, but he says nothing, he just does the same the day after, and at some point he feels Philip leaning against the door too and just like that he starts talking, about his mom, about seeing Ryan getting killed, about all the fear he repressed for months. Philip talks to Lukas as if he’d been talking to himself, he confesses everything in his heart, even his feeling guilty for making things difficult between Gabe and Helen, even how scared he is of getting close, of loving, Gabe… and Lukas doesn’t say a word, just leans against the door, listening, and then stays there even when Philip is long done with his telling, he stays until Gabe tells him to go sleep in the room downstairs because is too late to go home.  And the day after is the same as usual, Lukas just goes upstairs and knocks at the door, magazine in his hand, but this time there’s no quick kiss or fake smile, this time there’s a tiny real one, and tired eyes and tussled hair of someone who didn’t sleep for too long, but Philip takes his hand and entwines their fingers together and asks Lukas if he wants to show him those new bikes he keeps ranting about before hugging him and hiding his face in Lukas’ neck, grateful for what he has, ready to start anew… So…that’s my headcanon, deal with it