Allies. But not yours.
its his first breakup be nice to him (also hes in for some shit news)
I want some real love, baby
đ§¨Part 1
[EDITED IN 30/07/23]
SUMMARY: You have shared too much with Calebâ your childhood in middle school, your restless teenage years in high school, and the sleepless nights that came with training at the DAA. Through every phase of your life, youâve loved him. Quietly. Desperately. While he loved someone else.
So you learned to endure it.
You swallowed your feelings and tucked them away in secret letters never meant to be readâletters inked with heartbreak, feverish longing, and fantasies too raw to speak aloud. From crooked handwriting to elegant script, each page was a confession of the love you hated to carry, the ache you never outgrew. And when Caleb vanished from your life after graduation without a word, you buried those letters in a box, and the box deep within yourself.
Years later, fate intervenes.
Caleb returnsâbroader, bolder, devastatingly handsome. And strangely focused on you. His touches linger too long, his eyes see too much, and his smile says he knows exactly what youâve been hiding. He looks at you like youâre the one heâs been waiting forâand you canât tell if it terrifies you or tempts you more.
You try to pull away. Youâve spent too many years surviving without him to fall now.
But Caleb doesnât let go.
Because now that heâs seen the truthâevery broken sentence, every filthy fantasy, every whispered âI love youâ you never dared say out loudâheâs not just here to catch up.
Heâs here to chase you down.
And he wonât stop until youâre his.
WORD COUNT: 9.1k
NOTES: Takes place after the Main story supposedly ends. This happens far in the future. Caleb is older here, 28â29 maybe. Reader is NOT mc, keep that in mind. In this scenario mc is with another LI.
You used to love love.
Not just the idea of itâbut the ache of it. The promise of it. The giddy, schoolgirl butterflies and the midnight hopes whispered into your pillow. Love was the secret language of your world, threaded through songs you hummed under your breath, the romance novels dog-eared to your favorite passages, the ink-stained pages of letters never sent.
You believed in love the way children believe in magic.
But you grew up.
And love? It grew fangs.
Now, you love to hate it.
You hate how it made a fool of you. How it made you wait and yearn and burn in silence, hoping heâd look your way and see you. Not as a friend, not as a childhood companion, but as someone worth reaching for. Worth choosing. But he didnât. He never did. Calebâs heart was always spoken for.
So you buried your own.
Youâve become good at pretending. You laugh at romance now, scoff at declarations, dismiss affection with a curl of your lip and a joke that lands just bitter enough to be believable. Youâre not heartlessâyouâre just tired. Of hoping. Of hurting. Of wanting things that were never yours to begin with.
You fill your time with things that donât require soft emotions. You keep your hands busy and your mind busier. You hum lullabies to yourself when the silence grows too sharp. You sleep with the light on sometimesânot out of fear, but because the darkness reminds you too much of waiting for someone who never came back.
And stillâŚ
Despite it allâŚ
Sometimes, on quiet nights when your guard slips, you wonder what it would be like to be loved out loud.
To be wanted so much itâs terrifying. To be chosen first.
You donât dare admit it aloud. You barely let yourself think it.
Because if love ever finds you againâŚ
Youâre not sure if youâll run away from itâ
Or straight into its arms.
You hear his voice before you see him.
Low. Smooth. A little deeper than you remember. It cuts through the background noise like gravity pulling everything toward itâpulling you toward it. You freeze mid-step, your spine going taut like a wire drawn too tight. You know that voice. Youâve heard it in dreams. In memories. In the echo of unsent letters youâll never admit you still read.
You turn slowly.
And there he is.
Caleb.
Older. Sharper. Beautiful in a way that feels almost unfair. His body is broader now, sculpted with strength and silent discipline. His jaw is dusted with scruff. His posture, relaxed but alert. And those eyesâstill storm-silver and searing, but steadier somehow. Knowing.
He sees you.
Really sees you.
And for a moment, the world narrows to just the two of you standing there like a collision waiting to happen.
A beat passes.
â...Itâs been a while,â he says, and Godâhe smiles.
That same crooked, devastating smile that used to undo you in a single heartbeat. But thereâs something different now. Less boyish charm, more⌠reverence. Like heâs looking at a relic he thought lost forever and canât quite believe is real.
You swallow, throat tight. âYeah. A while.â
Thereâs so much you could say. So much you want to say. About the years. The distance. The versions of yourself that broke and rebuilt in his absence. But your mouth is dry and your thoughts scatter like startled birds.
Caleb steps forwardâclose enough that you can feel the heat radiating off him, smell the faint scent of metal and pine and something unmistakably him.
He looks you up and down slowly, like heâs taking inventory of everything time tried to steal.
âYou lookâŚâ His gaze softens. âYou look like trouble.â
You scoffâtoo sharp, too fast, your defense mechanisms kicking in like old habits. âAnd you still talk like youâre trying to land a date in a bar.â
His grin flashes wider. âWould it work if I was?â
God, heâs flirting.
Like you werenât just background noise to him once. Like you didnât spend years trying to scrape his ghost off your ribs.
You narrow your eyes. âWhy are you here, Caleb?â
He leans in, the air between you charged, crackling. His voice dropsâlower, rougher.
âBecause I missed you.â
You blink. That wasnât the answer you expected. Not from him. Not with that look in his eyesâpart hungry, part haunted, all real.
And just like that, the careful walls youâve built start to shake.
You hear the door creak open behind you before the sound of his footsteps catches up.
âI almost didnât recognize you,â Caleb says, his voice deeper, richer than you remember. âYou look... different.â
You donât turn around immediately. The skyline looks safer than his face.
âYeah, well. Years pass. People change.â
âSome people stay exactly the same,â he murmurs. âYou still lean to the left when youâre uncomfortable.â
You whip around, heart doing a traitorous little jump when your gaze lands on him.
God. Heâs unfair. Broader shoulders, sharper jaw, that golden tan that makes his white shirt look criminally good on him. His smile has mellowed into something more potentâless boyish charm, more devastating man.
You cross your arms. âYouâre observant now. Thatâs new.â
He chuckles. âIâve always been observant. You were just too busy avoiding my eyes to notice.â
TouchĂŠ.
He walks closerâtoo closeâand you catch a whiff of his cologne, spicy and dark, like danger disguised as comfort. His gaze drops to your lips for half a second too long before returning to your eyes with a glint that spells trouble.
âHow long has it been?â he asks softly.
âSince you ditched our entire friend group without a word? Or since I gave up hoping for a message you never sent?â
His jaw tenses. âI deserved that.â
âYou did.â
Thereâs a beat of silence between you, thick with all the things youâre too proud to say and all the things he suddenly looks desperate to.
You retreat into the safety of the couch, motioning for him to sit acrossâbut no, of course not. Caleb drops beside you, hip pressed against yours like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
âWhat about Emcee?â you ask, biting the inside of your cheek. âYou two live happily ever after or what?â
His brow furrows. âEmcee? God, no. That was over before it ever started.â
Your heart skips. âOh.â
âYou sound disappointed.â
âIâm not.â Lie. âJust surprised.â
âGood,â he says, leaning in, his voice a husky whisper. âBecause I didnât come here to talk about her. I came here for you.â
Your breath catches. You laugh, shaky and forced. âWow, Caleb. Youâve upgraded your flirting. What happened to your legendary cheesy pickup lines?â
He grins. âI could still use one, if youâre nostalgic. But I figured youâve grown out of tolerating my bullshit.â
âSmart of you.â
And yet, the way his knee brushes yours every few seconds isnât helping. Neither is the way his hand hovers just a little too close to your thigh when he reaches for his coffee.
Youâre not sure whatâs worseâthat heâs this charming now, or that itâs working.
Later that night, after he leaves with a promise to âsee you soonâ and a gaze that lingers like heat, you retreat into your sanctuary.
Your room. Your old dresser. The box tucked under the drawer like a dirty little secret.
The letters.
Every one of them stained with years of aching want and unspeakable need. A catalogue of your descent into hopeless longing, from childish hope to fevered fantasy. The kind of thing no one should ever read.
Especially not Caleb.
But fate, of course, doesnât care what you want.
The first time he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, it's under the guise of helping you with groceries.
âIâm perfectly capable,â you snap, snatching the bag from his hands.
Caleb just laughs, leaning in. âI know. Doesnât mean I donât want to help.â
His knuckles graze yours. You pretend not to notice. He pretends not to notice you pretending. Bastard.
â
The second time, youâre at your favorite cafĂŠ, the one with the uneven chairs and the cinnamon drinks he used to gag over. Youâd brought him there as a joke, once. Now he takes you there seriously.
Heâs seated too close, his thigh pressed against yours like a quiet claim.
âSo,â he says, turning his head toward you. âNo boyfriend? FiancĂŠ? Star-crossed lover waiting in the wings?â
âNone of your business.â
âThatâs a no, then,â he says smugly, sipping his drink.
You glance at him, narrowing your eyes. âWhy are you asking?â
âJust making sure Iâm not stepping on any toes,â he murmurs, then adds, âwhen I kiss you.â
Your heart slams into your ribs. You scoff, rolling your eyes so hard they might get stuck. âYouâre not kissing me.â
âNot today, maybe,â he says easily. âBut eventually.â
You hate how warm your cheeks get. You hate him a little more for noticing.
â
The third time is worse.
Youâve both had a bit too much wine. Not drunk, but soft around the edges. Heâs on your couch, lounging like he belongs there, like the time between now and then never happened.
He watches you over the rim of his glass. âWhy do you keep flinching when I touch you?â
âI donât flinch.â
âYou do. Like youâre scared Iâm not real.â
You take a sip of your wine and stare straight ahead. âIâm just trying to figure out what you want.â
His voice goes quiet. âYou.â
The word hits you like a punch.
âYou wanted Emcee for years.â
âI was stupid for years.â
You meet his eyes. Theyâre clearer than theyâve ever beenâfocused, almost painfully sincere.
âThatâs convenient,â you say coldly.
He sets his glass down, leans in. âNo. Itâs fate finally letting me try again.â
His hand reaches up, brushes your cheek with maddening tenderness. Heâs so close you can feel the heat of his breath.
You freeze. The ache in your chest roars to life again. This is everything you ever wantedâbut you donât trust it. Not yet.
You turn your head. Just barely.
Calebâs jaw clenches, his hand falling away.
He sits back without a word.
â
The fourth time, itâs raining.
He brings you a coffee, his hair damp, his hoodie soaked at the shoulders.
âYou didnât have to walk in this weather,â you mutter, taking the drink anyway.
âI wanted to.â His smile is lazy, but his eyes are sharp. âYouâre still not letting me in.â
âWould you trust someone who vanished for years without a word?â
His smile falters. Then, to your surprise, he nods. âI wouldnât. But Iâd want them to fight for the chance to be trusted again.â
He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a familiar-looking charmâa bent paper star you made him in high school.
âI didnât forget you,â he says, voice low. âI tried to.â
That might be the worst thing heâs ever said. Because it means he felt something. Because it means you werenât the only one suffering in silence.
Because it means heâs telling the truth.
You excuse yourself before your throat gives way to the sobs you refuse to let him see.
He doesnât follow.
But he waits.
He always waits now.
And thatâs more dangerous than any of his old pickup lines.
You agree to go with him to the observatory.
Big mistake.
Itâs late, the sky smeared with stars and promises, the air just crisp enough that Caleb offers you his jacket before you can even pretend to be cold.
You donât take it.
So, naturally, he just drapes it over your shoulders anyway, like youâre his.
âIt looks better on you,â he says, voice quiet as your fingers clutch at the sleeves that still smell like him.
âDonât start,â you murmur, but thereâs no real bite to it.
âStart what?â His smirk is all mischief. âBeing nice? Canât help it. You bring it out of me.â
You roll your eyes and turn your gaze to the sky, but he keeps watching you like youâre the constellation heâs been chasing all his life.
âI used to come here when I missed you,â you admit without thinking, and immediately wish you hadnât.
The silence that follows is so sharp it could cut glass.
âWhen you missed me?â His voice is different nowâserious. Dangerous. âHow often did that happen?â
You laugh, tight and brittle. âOnly every time I breathed.â
His head tilts slightly, like heâs not sure he heard you right.
Then: âSay that again.â
âNo.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause youâll use it against me.â
He steps closer, slow and purposeful, until your back meets the cold railing. His hands cage you in, one on either side of your body, his expression unreadable but intense.
âDo you really think Iâd take something that precious and weaponize it?â
âI donât know what youâd do anymore.â
âThen let me show you,â he says, and for a terrifying second, you think heâs going to kiss you.
But he doesnât.
His lips hover just beside your ear, the warmth of his breath teasing your neck.
âI dreamt of you too, you know. Every damn night.â
Your knees nearly buckle, but pride is a stronger drug than longing.
âThen why didnât you do anything?â you whisper.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes burning. âBecause I was stupid. And I thought you didnât feel the same.â
You snort. âWell. You were wrong.â
âI know,â he growls. âI know that now. And youâre still keeping me at armâs length.â
âDamn right I am.â
His smile is tight, hungry. âFine. You want to make me work for it? Iâll work.â
âI want to be chased, Caleb. Not collected.â
He steps back, hands raised in mock surrender, but his grin is pure trouble.
âThen run, sweetheart. Iâll catch up.â
You hate him for knowing exactly how to undo you.
And maybe you hate yourself more for wanting to be caught.
Itâs late. The kind of late where even the shadows seem to sleep.
The old piano room is still your secret solaceâdusty, dim, filled with forgotten echoes and dreams you never dared to say out loud. The acoustics are perfect. No one ever comes in here anymore.
Except for one person.
You don't hear him at first. Youâre too wrapped up in the song, the way your voice trembles on the high notes, the keys trembling beneath your fingertips. Itâs the kind of melody you never intended anyone to hear. Especially not him.
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
Your voice breaks. You close your eyes, breathe, keep going anyway.
I stopped CPR, after all it's no use
The spirit was gone, we would never come to
And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
Silence. One, two, three beats of it. Thenâ
âYou always did sound beautiful when you were sad.â
You jump.
Caleb leans against the doorway like he owns the place. Like he owns the air in your lungs. Like he owns you.
âDidnât mean to startle you,â he adds, smile lazy, eyes sharp. âOld habits die hard, I guess.â
You blink. âYou heard that?â
âI always do.â
Of course he did.
You feel your cheeks burn as he strolls in, gaze never leaving yours. âThat song⌠itâs new?â
You clear your throat, try for nonchalance. âJust something I was playing around with.â
He hums. âRight. Totally not about anyone in particular.â
You bristle. âDid I say that?â
âNope. But you donât have to. You forgetâI know your voice. I know when itâs for fun. And when itâs ripping you open.â
You glance away, fingers tapping nervously on the ivory keys. âYou're being dramatic.â
He kneels beside the bench. Just like that, heâs too close again. Always too close.
âYou used to do this all the time,â he murmurs. âSneak away to sing where no one could find you. You didnât know I followed.â
Your heart stutters. âYou never said anything.â
âWhy would I ruin it?â His gaze darkens. âHearing you like thatâit was the only time I ever got to feel like you needed something.â
âI didnât sing those songs for you,â you lie.
Caleb tilts his head, eyes locked on yours. âThen why are your cheeks red?â
You shove away from the piano, muttering, âYou're insufferable.â
He follows, not missing a beat. âYouâre blushing, songbird.â
âShut up.â
âMake me.â
You stop. He almost slams into you.
You glare up at him. âYou think youâre so clever.â
He leans in, smirking. âNo. I think Iâve waited too long to be this close to you, and now that Iâm here, Iâm not backing off.â
The worst part? Your hands are trembling. Your knees are weak. And still, somehow, you want more.
But pride wraps around your tongue like a noose.
âYou heard the song,â you say, voice low. âThatâs enough.â
His eyes flick down to your lips. Then back up. Heâs not smiling anymore.
âNo,â Caleb whispers. âItâs not.â
You should have locked the damn drawer.
You donât even know what made you checkâbut something prickled at the back of your neck the moment you stepped into your apartment. Like something sacred had been disturbed. And when you see the box in Calebâs hands, your heart stops cold.
No. No.
His head lifts as the door shuts behind you.
And your world implodes.
Heâs seated on your couch like heâs carved from stone, the soft golden lamp beside him casting long shadows across the muscles in his jaw and the heartbreak in his eyes.
Heâs holding your soul in his hands.
The lettersâdozens of them, hundreds, years of ink and agony and lust and griefâyou recognize the crooked childhood handwriting, the shaky, angry teenage confessions, the flowing script of your adult longing. Pages of you. Laid bare.
Your breath catches. Your throat closes.
âIâThatâs notâYou werenât supposed toââ Your voice cracks. Your knees are trembling.
Caleb stands, the box still in his grip. He looks wrecked.
âI read every single one,â he says softly.
âPut them away,â you whisper, voice hollow. âPlease, just⌠put them away.â
âI canât.â
You turn to bolt, pure instinct.
And thatâs when gravity betrays you.
A weight presses against your bodyânot crushing, but firm, immovable, inescapable. His Evol.Â
Your hands fly to the walls, to the floor, anywhere to push back, but youâre floating. Held in place. Suspended in the moment you never wanted him to witness.
âCalebâ!â
âI need you to hear me,â he says, moving closer. Slowly. Carefully. Like approaching a wounded animal.
Your back hits the wall.
He stops just inches from you, eyes devouring every inch of your face. His expression is ravenous, pained, like heâs starving and terrified that the meal in front of him will vanish if he breathes too hard.
âI didnât know,â he says, his voice ragged. âI never knew.â
You shake your head. âYou werenât supposed to.â
His hand lifts. Hovers near your cheek. âIâve been walking around blind, thinking I lost you back then. But you never stopped⌠You loved me. You loved me so much it hurt.â
Tears gather hot and fast in your eyes. âCalebâdonâtââ
âAnd I was in love with you,â he breathes. âAll this time I thought I was chasing someone else, but it was you. It was always you.â
You look away. âYou didnât want me. You wanted her. You chose her.â
âI didnât choose anyone,â he growls. âI was a coward. I ran. I shut you out and let you carry all that alone. I thought I was protecting you.â
âYou werenât,â you whisper. âYou were destroying me.â
The look in his eyes breaks something in you.
âI memorized your words,â he says quietly, his forehead leaning gently against yours. âEvery line. Every wish. Every desperate, filthy, aching thing you wanted to say. I felt all of it. Like I was there with you, through every goddamn year I missed.â
You tremble, caught in his pull, aching with the need to believeâbut terrified to let yourself fall.
âI donât know if I can forgive you,â you whisper.
âIâm not asking you to,â he murmurs. âNot yet.â
His fingers trail lightly over your waist, your hip, anchoring you. The Gravity around you loosens just enough for your feet to touch the floor again, but you donât move.
His mouth brushes against your temple.
âI just want to earn you. All of you. Like I shouldâve from the start.â
You donât kiss him.
But you donât pull away either.
You canât.
Because suddenly, you're not cold anymore.
Youâre burning.
He stays.
Even when you tell him to leaveâquietly, then louder, then with trembling fingers pressed to his chest like a warningâCaleb stays.
âYou shouldnât be here,â you whisper, not meeting his eyes.
âI shouldâve been here years ago,â he murmurs. âDonât you get it? Iâm not leaving again.â
You shove him.
He barely budges.
You shove him again.
This time, his hands catch your wrists mid-motion, fast, firmâcalm.
You freeze. His skin is warm against yours, calloused where it should be gentle, familiar where it should feel foreign. Your pulse spikes in your throat.
âLet me go,â you say, breathless.
âNo.â
Your breath hitches.
âNo?â you echo.
His voice drops. âNot until you stop pretending you donât want me to stay.â
You glare up at him, furious. âYou think a few words and a couple of pretty promises erase everything?â
âNo,â he says again. âBut Iâll keep proving myself until they do.â
You twist out of his gripânearlyâbefore he suddenly pulls you in.
And for one terrible, brilliant second, your bodies align like theyâve been waiting for this moment your whole lives.
His eyes search yours.
And then, Caleb whispers, âTell me to stop.â
You open your mouth.
But nothing comes out.
So he kisses you.
Not a soft, hesitant brush of lips.
Itâs a claiming.
Itâs all the years you spent alone, writing down your agony like confessions to a God who never answered. Itâs every fantasy you denied yourself, every moment you watched him look at someone else and wished it were you. It's himâfinally, truly, desperatelyâhere.
Your fingers fist in his shirt like youâre angry, like youâre clinging to something you swore youâd never need again.
And when you break apart, gasping, forehead pressed to his, you sayâ
âI hate you.â
He smiles, soft and ruined. âI know.â
âI hate how much I wanted that.â
âI hope you did.â
âIâm still not making this easy.â
Calebâs lips trail down your jaw, his voice a low rasp. âYouâve never made anything easy, sweetheart. Thatâs why youâre worth everything.â
And stillâ
Still, your heart trembles with the weight of old wounds, and you pull back just enough to see the truth in his eyes.
âYouâll have to fight for this,â you warn him.
His hand finds the back of your neck, possessive and reverent. âThen prepare to be relentlessly pursued.â
You never agreed to date him.
But apparently, Calebâs taking ârelentless pursuitâ as a blood oath.
He shows up at your place the next morning with coffeeâyour actual order, down to the way you like the foam. He doesnât say how he remembers. You donât ask.
That night, he texts you at 2am.
Bastard: Thinking about that song you sang. Thinking about your lips too, but thatâs not important (it is).
You throw your phone across the bed.
The next day, heâs waiting outside your building. Leaning against his hoverbike, all long legs and low-lidded eyes and that grin. You think heâs here for some kind of mission.
Nope.
Just here to take you to lunch.
âDonât say this is a date,â you grumble.
âWouldnât dream of it,â he says, offering his hand. âBut hold on tight anyway.â
You hate how your fingers slide into his like they belong there.
â
Caleb doesnât just flirt. He weaponizes charm like he trained for it.
He gives you compliments with the kind of intensity that makes it hard to breathe.
âI love your voice. Especially when you donât realize youâre humming.â
âYou roll your eyes the same way you used to when I beat you in training. Itâs kind of adorable.â
âYou donât have to pretend around me. I know what you sound like when you're honest. I miss that sound.â
He touches you too often. Hand brushing your lower back when he walks past. Fingers grazing yours when he hands you something. Sitting just a little too close on your couch, his thigh pressed against yours like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
You hold strongâfor a while.
Until he stays over one night, after watching some late-night sci-fi re-run and falling asleep on your couch like a smug golden retriever with abs.
You try to nudge him awake.
You fail.
Hard.
He catches your wrist in his sleep, pulls you down half-on top of him, murmurs your name like itâs a secret prayer, and buries his face in your neck.
You donât sleep.
Your body is screaming.
But your heart?
Itâs terrified.
â
When morning comes, you wake to him cooking in your kitchen like he belongs there, shirt half-unbuttoned, hair a mess, singing your song under his breath.
You freeze in the doorway.
He sees you.
And smiles.
Like youâre not the one who spent ten years hiding a love that almost broke you. Like heâs not here to crack it wide open.
âMorning, sweetheart,â Caleb says softly. âStay.â
You almost do.
But you donât.
Not yet.
You think you're doing a good job keeping him at bay.
Youâre not.
Because Caleb is everywhere now.
Heâs in your kitchen again, humming off-key as he steals bites from your cooking. Heâs draped across your couch like itâs his favorite place in the world. Heâs in the way he looks at you like you invented gravity, like youâre the only thing keeping him grounded.
You keep your walls up.
But he keeps coming.
Like he knows youâre lying every time you act unaffected.
â
One night, after a long mission and even longer silence, he shows up unannounced. Eyes shadowed. Mouth grim. Shoulders tense with something unspoken.
You open the door.
He doesnât say a wordâjust walks past you, breath ragged.
You follow him into your living room. âCaleb?â
âI thought I lost you again,â he says, voice low.
Your stomach drops. âWhat?â
He turns to face you, and itâs like the air shifts. Thickens.
âI heard your name over the comms. Brief moment of static. No confirmation you made it out. Just radio silence.â
You cross your arms. âI made it out fine.â
âI didnât know that,â he snaps. âAnd for a second, I thoughtââ He cuts himself off, jaw tight.
You exhale. âIâm used to people not checking in.â
âIâm not people.â
He stalks closer.
You step back.
He follows.
âI donât care how many times you push me away. You donât get to disappear on me.â
âAnd what am I supposed to do?â you throw back. âPretend like none of this hurts? Like I didnât bleed for you in silence for years while you played hero somewhere else?â
âI know.â
âDo you?â Your voice cracks. âBecause I canât let myself fall again, Caleb. Not if you're just gonna walk away when it gets hard.â
He grabs your wrist.
Not rough. Just certain.
âLook at me.â
You donât.
So he tips your chin up with two fingers.
His eyes are burning.
âI am not going anywhere. I don't care how long it takes. You can scream, you can run, you can tell me you hate me. Iâll still be right here.â
âWhy?â you whisper, eyes glossy. âWhy now?â
âBecause Iâve loved you longer than I even understood what that meant,â he breathes. âAnd Iâm done pretending I donât want every single part of you.â
His other hand slides to your waist, slow and reverent.
Your breath hitches.
You can feel his heartbeat through your palm. Fast. Desperate.
The heat between you is unbearable.
One tilt of your head and youâd be kissing him again.
You want to.
God, you ache to.
But instead, you whisper, âThis changes nothing.â
He leans in, nose brushing yours.
âWrong,â Caleb whispers, his voice rough with restraint. âIt changes everything.â
But he doesnât kiss you.
Not this time.
He lets you go.
And itâs infuriatingâbecause now you want him even more.
The first thing you notice is the lightâsoft gold spilling through your curtains, catching on floating dust motes, warming the edges of the sheets tangled around your legs.
The second thing you notice is the heat.
Not the weather. Not the blanket.
Him.
Your breath stills.
Because Calebâs wrapped around you like he owns you.
Whichâhe doesnât.
He shouldnât.
And yet here you are, cocooned in his arms, his entire body molded to yours like you were sculpted to fit him. Your head is pillowed on his chest, right over the steady, heavy thump of his heart. One of his hands is buried in your hair, fingers gently tangled, the other gripping your waist in a possessive clutch that hasnât loosened even in sleep.
You remember falling asleep with your back to him.
You do not remember signing up for this full-body cuddle trap.
Then there's his thighâwedged between your legs like it lives there.
Your cheeks burn.
âOkay,â you whisper to yourself. âTime to get out before you completely lose your mind.â
You try to slip away quietly.
You wiggle.
No movement.
You nudge his hand.
His grip tightens.
You try prying his fingers from your waist. Itâs like wrestling a bear. A warm, unfairly smug bear.
You let out a frustrated sigh and attempt to roll awayâbut the second you shift, Caleb lets out a low, sleepy groan. His body shifts with yours, tightening the hold, his thigh sliding higher. His lips brush your neck, parting slightlyâ
And then he nibbles.
You whimper.
It betrays you instantly.
That quiet little sound. The one that escapes before you can swallow it.
Caleb hums. The vibrations rumble through his chest, into your cheek.
And thenâ
âMm... morning,â he murmurs, voice wrecked and delicious.
You go still.
âCaleb,â you say, your voice a warning.
His lips find your pulse point. âYou smell good,â he slurs, still half-asleep, tone thick with something dangerous.
His thigh rocks just slightly forward. Pressure, heat.
You squeak.
His arms tighten like steel bands.
Heâs caging you in.
âC-Caleb, get offâthis isâthis is not appropriate!â
Another sleepy groan. His lips ghost along your jaw. âYouâre so warm.â
Your brain short-circuits.
âYouâre dreaming,â you say, trying desperately to breathe like a normal person. âThis is a dream. Youâre dreaming. Let me go.â
He chucklesâchuckles. A deep, lazy sound against your neck. âIf Iâm dreaming, Iâm never waking up.â
Then his hips shift. Just barely.
But enough.
âCaleb!â
His eyes snap open.
You expect guilt.
What you get is heat.
Raw, focused, and dangerous.
He blinks once. Then twice. Thenâ
His hand slides from your waist to the small of your back. His nose brushes yours.
âI was trying to be good,â Caleb murmurs. âYou have no idea how hard itâs been.â
You do, actually.
Because itâs been hell for you, too.
Youâre seconds from giving inâcompletely, helplesslyâwhen you shove at his chest with both hands and scramble out from beneath him.
Youâre standing, heart racing, cheeks flushed, breathless.
Caleb just smirks from the bed, messy-haired and golden in the morning light. âWhat? You gonna pretend you didnât enjoy that?â
You throw a pillow at his face.
âOut,â you snap.
He catches it effortlessly. âNo breakfast first?â
You march to the door.
âFine, fine. But next time?â He swings his legs over the edge and stands, gaze searing into yours. âYouâll beg me to stay.â
You slam the door in his face.
It doesnât stop your knees from buckling.
It happens fast.
Too fast for logic. Too fast for the walls youâve spent years constructing around your traitorous heart.
One moment youâre arguingâagain. Another stupid quip from him, another reckless flirtation that turns your blood to fire. Youâre trying to hold on to the last shred of distance between you, snapping something half-hearted and defensiveâ
And then Caleb moves.
He grabs your wrists, spinning you with dizzying ease, and slams them gently but firmly against the wall. Your back hits the cold surface. His body follows.
You gasp.
His eyes meet yours.
They are ravenous.
âI canât do this anymore,â Caleb says, voice low, feral, shaking with restraint. âI canât keep pretending I donât want to devour you.â
Your breath catches.
And then he kisses you.
Hard.
Not sweet. Not tentative.
Possessive.
Like heâs claiming what was always his.
Your body jerks with the force of it, your wrists still caged in his hands above your head. You try to twist freeânot to escape, but because itâs too much, all-consuming, desperate.
He doesnât let you go.
He presses closer instead, chasing your mouth with his own, drinking in every gasp, every shuddering moan you try to swallow.
You break away for airâjust for a secondâand he follows, mouth trailing your jaw, nipping your throat, sucking a mark into the skin just below your ear.
âCalebââ you manage, but it comes out a whimper.
His pelvis grinds into yours, deliberate and aching. The friction draws a strangled sound from your throat.
âOh godââ
âThatâs it,â he groans against your skin. âThat sound. Iâve imagined it every night. Every. Damn. Night.â
His hands leave your wristsâonly to slide down your arms, your sides, until theyâre clutching your hips like he might fall apart if he lets go. He lifts you onto the wall, thigh pressing between your legs, grinding again.
Your fingers tangle in his shirt, yanking him closer even as your brain screams to stop this.
But your body?
Your body is already his.
âTell me to stop,â Caleb breathes, forehead pressed to yours, chest heaving.
You donât.
You canât.
Thereâs no pretending anymore. No wall to hide behind.
Because the truth isâhe touches you like a man starved, but worships you like you're divine.
His lips return to yours, slower this time but no less intense, and it feels like every missed moment, every unsent letter, every buried ache is burning through the kiss.
His self-control shatters.
And you let it.
Because thereâs no going back now.
Thereâs a momentâbarely a breathâafter that kiss.
His forehead rests against yours, both of you panting like youâve just clawed your way back from the edge of something too big to name.
Then he says your name.
Low.
Like a promise.
And then he moves.
Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, anchoring yourself to the only solid thing in the roomâhim. He lifts you with maddening ease, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other gripping your thigh so tight it borders on bruising. The kiss doesn't breakâit deepens. Tongue sliding past your lips, breath and need mixing with no hesitation. Heâs not asking anymore. Heâs taking.
And you're letting him.
Because youâre tired of pretending you donât want to be devoured.
He carries you, mouth never leaving yours, and slams the bedroom door shut with his foot. When your back hits the mattress, his body followsâpressing, claiming. His weight is heaven and fire, the grind of his hips against your core already making you tremble.
âYou still gonna pretend you donât want this?â he rasps, voice rough as gravel, dragging his nose along the curve of your throat.
Your only answer is a moan as you arch into him.
His hand slips beneath your shirt. Fingers splayed wide, reverentâlike he needs to memorize the shape of you. He palms your breast through your bra, thumb flicking over the peak until you shudder. His mouth finds the skin just above your heart.
âMine,â he growls, more to himself than you. âAlways have been.â
He strips you slowly, deliberatelyâlike heâs savoring every inch of newly exposed skin. His hands roam. His mouth follows. Down your neck, between your breasts, over your stomach, every inch worshipped like heâs repenting for all the years he stayed away.
When his fingers finally slip beneath your waistband, you gaspâyour hips jerking up into his touch. He groans.
âSo wet,â he mutters. âGod, baby... how long have you needed this?â
You canât speak.
Donât even try.
Because his fingers know exactly where to press, where to circle, how to push you to the edge with maddening precision. Itâs not just hungerâitâs intimacy, like heâs reading the language your body never learned to say out loud.
And when he finally takes youâwhen his body surges forward and fills you completelyâitâs not just a snap of tension.
Itâs a detonation.
You cry out, legs wrapped tight around his waist as he drives into you with smooth, powerful thrusts. His pace is brutal in the best wayâcontrolled only by the desperation in his eyes and the grip of your nails digging into his back.
He kisses you through it.
Keeps whispering your name like a prayer heâs never going to stop saying.
And when you breakâshattering beneath him, around himâhe follows instantly. With a groan that sounds like surrender. Like salvation.
He collapses against you, breathless.
Sweat-slick and trembling.
But he doesnât move.
Just holds you.
His arms like iron bands.
His face buried in your neck.
âThis isnât over,â he whispers against your skin. âIâm not letting you go now. Not ever.â
And you believe him.
For the first time, you really believe him.
You lost track of how long ago the sun set.
The air is heavy with heat and sweat, your skin slick against the sheets. Youâre boneless, trembling, lips swollen from kisses too deep, too desperate. Every nerve is raw. Every breath you take shudders.
And Caleb?
Caleb is still going.
You're on your hands and knees now, your face buried in the pillows, eyes squeezed shut as he thrusts into you from behindârelentless, deep, so deep it feels like heâs touching places inside you no one ever dared.
Your moans have long since turned into wrecked sobs of pleasure, and yetâhe doesnât slow.
He only grips your hips harder, angling you just right, dragging a scream from your throat as he hits that perfect, devastating spot again and again.
âI canâtâCaleb, I canâtââ you cry out, arms shaking, your body trying to collapse beneath the weight of all the overstimulation.
But heâs not hearing you.
Or ratherâhe hears you, and it only spurs him on.
Your body starts to slip forward across the mattress, desperate to escape the flood of sensation. You try to crawl away on trembling limbs, instincts screaming for reprieveâ
And then his hand shoots out, grabs your hips, and yanks you back flush against him.
âWhere do you think youâre going?â His voice is dark silk, wrapped around steel. Each word punctuated by a thrust that makes your toes curl.
âI asked you a question, sweetheart.â
You sob into the sheets, too far gone for words.
He leans forward, chest pressed to your back, breath hot against your ear. âYouâre not going anywhere.â
His hand slips beneath you, down between your legs, fingers finding your clit with merciless precision.
âNot when youâre this wet. This messy. This mine.â
You scream.
The orgasm crashes through you without warningâyour entire body seizing, writhing in his hold as the pleasure tears through you like a storm. You think that has to be the end, that your body canât possibly handle any more.
But Calebâs not done.
Not even close.
He stays deep inside, rolling his hips slowly, dragging out every aftershock until you're sobbing from the sensitivity. Your arms give out. You collapse onto your stomach, body limp, broken open from the inside.
And he followsâgrinding into you again, pressing deep and staying there, his weight pinning you down, his mouth against your neck.
âIâve waited too long for this,â he murmurs, voice raw with emotion. âYears. Dreams. Fantasies. You donât get to run now.â
Your heart stutters.
Youâre overwhelmed.
Youâre aching.
Youâve never felt more wanted.
And stillâhis hips move again.
You whimper. âCalebâpleaseââ
He kisses your shoulder. âOne more, baby. Just one more.â
You know heâs lying.
And you let him.
Because the truth isâyouâve always wanted this, too.
Even if it leaves you utterly, completely undone.
You're floating.
Barely conscious, held together by the fragile thread of Calebâs body wrapped around yours, his breath a soft rhythm against your neck.
Your limbs are jelly. Your thighs ache. Your lips are kiss-bitten and bruised, and your core is so sensitive that every inch of you shivers when he so much as adjusts beside you.
And yetâeven now, even after hoursâhe wonât stop touching.
Not in the same feral, frantic way as before. No. Now itâs worship.
He kisses the curve of your shoulder, the back of your neck, your spine. His fingertips trace lazy, possessive patterns into your hips. He murmurs thingsâsome unintelligible, some far too intimate.
âYouâre perfect,â he whispers against your skin.
âI missed you.â
âIâll never let you go again.â
Youâre too tired to reply. Your voice is hoarse from screaming, from moaning his name over and over, but your heart responds like a bell rung too hard. It throbs.
Eventually, he gets upâonly to return with a warm towel, water, a fresh shirt. He tends to you with gentle hands, murmuring apologies each time you flinch from how sensitive you are, pressing soft kisses to your forehead, your temple, your knuckles.
When he finally slides into the shower with you, your body instinctively leans into his. The water is hot, soothing, washing away the sweat, the stickiness, the evidence of your complete and total unraveling.
But not the ache. Not the possessiveness.
He sits on the tiled bench and pulls you into his lap, your legs straddling him, head tucked under his chin. Youâre exhausted, wreckedâand heâs still hard beneath you.
You give him a look thatâs half horror, half disbelief.
He smirks, eyes dark and gleaming. âI told you, Iâm not finished.â
âCalebââ
âI owe you,â he says, voice dipping low. âFor every year I didnât touch you. For every time you cried over me in silence. For every word in those letters I shouldâve read sooner.â
Your breath hitches.
And then his lips descend againâslow, tender, reverent. As if heâs trying to memorize this version of you, water-slicked and trembling in his arms, yours at last.
Back in bed, you collapse into his chest, body boneless, heart hammering.
And just when you think heâs finally doneâ
He shifts again.
Rolls you beneath him.
âYouâre not going to let me sleep?â you rasp.
His fingers trail down your body, between your thighs, making you jolt.
âNo,â he breathes against your ear. âYouâre not sleeping until Iâve claimed every inch of you. Until you canât think of anything but me.â
You should tell him to stop.
You donât.
Because the truth is: every part of you belongs to him already.
And now?
Heâs going to make sure you never forget it.
The morning after feels⌠dangerous.
Not because youâre in any real perilâbut because itâs blissfully quiet, and the man who wrecked you within an inch of your life is humming softly in your kitchen, shirtless, wearing nothing but sweatpants slung far too low on his hips, looking like the devil himself in domestic drag.
You barely make it through the doorway, each step a careful negotiation with gravity and sore muscles. Your thighs ache. Your back aches. Everything aches. But the moment Caleb glances over his shoulder and smirks at your limp?
Oh, you want to punch him.
Or kiss him.
Or both.
âYouâre up,â he says, voice as smug as the day is long.
âI tried to stay asleep,â you deadpan. âBut someone kept me up all night.â
He chucklesâlow and wickedâand sets a mug of coffee on the counter for you.
âConsider it payback.â
You squint at him. âFor what?â
His eyes drop to your hips, the curve of your throat, the faint marks blooming on your skin like war medals.
âFor every letter you wrote and never gave me.â
Your stomach drops.
The mug clatters slightly when you set it down too fast.
Youâd almost forgotten. Almost managed to push aside the mortifying knowledge that he read everything.
And yet, here he isâutterly unbothered, possibly turned on, casually flipping pancakes like he didnât spend the night wrecking you with the very fantasies you'd penned in lonely bedrooms and late-night heartbreak.
âYou read them all,â you say, not quite a question.
He looks at you over his shoulder. âMemorized. Studied. Jerââ
âDo not finish that sentence, Caleb.â
He only grins wider.
You try to be casual, sip your coffee, lean against the wall like youâre not reliving every desperate, depraved word heâs now got locked and loaded in that beautiful head of his. But heâs already watching you too closely. Reading you like one of those letters.
âThere's one you missed,â you murmur before you can stop yourself.
He freezes.
Slowly, slowly, he turns. âWhere?â
You bite your lip.
âThe drawer by my bed. Bottom one.â
Heâs gone before you even blink.
The pancakes are burning.
And your heart is pounding.
By the time you stumble after him, heâs already sitting on the bed, letter in hand. Itâs the last one. The one you wrote when you thought youâd never see him again. It was raw, feralâ filled with longing so thick it could drown you.
He reads it silently. His jaw tightens. His Adamâs apple bobs hard.
When he finishes, he just looks at you.
Youâre not sure what you expect.
But you do not expect him to throw the letter down and stand up like that.
âIâm going to ruin you again,â he says, voice low. âAnd this time, it wonât stop until you beg me to believe youâre mine.â
Your knees buckle.
But heâs already crossing the room.
âRun,â he commands, voice low, raw, as his fingers trace the curve of your jaw. âRun from me.â
You blink, confused for a moment, but then the hunger in his gaze makes your heart stutter. Heâs not asking. Heâs daring you.
And youâre the last person who can resist a challenge.
So you do.
You turn, heart pounding in your chest, and sprint out of the room, the sound of his footsteps following close behind you like a predator in pursuit.
You think you have a head start, but no. Youâve never seen Caleb move like this. Heâs on you in seconds, and just when you think you can escape into the hallway, he catches your wrist, yanking you back, pulling you into his chest with a growl.
âYou thought you could outrun me?â he snarls against your ear, his breath hot, his body pressed up against yours like a solid wall.
âCalebââ you manage to gasp out, but before you can even finish the word, heâs lifting you effortlessly, throwing you onto the nearest surfaceâthe kitchen counter.
You barely have time to brace yourself as he dives in. His hands are everywhereâon your hips, your waist, your thighs, your breastsâand all of it is a blur of sensation that leaves you breathless, exposed, desperate.
He thrusts hard, deep, as if trying to bury himself in youâlike heâs trying to carve a piece of himself into your soul.
âNo more running,â he growls. âYouâre mine now. Forever mine.â
You cry out, body rocking forward with every savage thrust. His grip on you doesnât falter. His hips slam into you with a force that makes your breath catch in your throat. Thereâs no gentleness now. No tenderness. Just pure, unrelenting desire.
âTell me you want me, baby. Tell me you want it as much as I do.â
You canât form words. Youâre too lost, too gone, caught between the pleasure and the pain of it all. But your body tells him everything he needs to know.
His hands slide down to your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh, pulling you back to meet him with each thrust.
âGood girl,â he growls, voice thick with satisfaction. âSo fucking good for me.â
He doesnât stop. Doesnât slow. Heâs relentless. Heâs savage. Heâs ruining you in the best way possible.
And you donât even want him to stop.
But then, like a switch flipping in his mind, he pulls awayâjust enough to let you breathe, to let you feel the cool air between you.
You take a shaky breath, your body screaming for release. And then he looks at you, eyes dark, glinting with something feral, something possessive.
âI should have known,â he mutters, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, âyou liked being chased.â
His hands slide down, gripping your thighs, pushing you back against the counter until youâre arching helplessly into him, your legs spread wide.
âYou always did,â he adds, voice dripping with satisfaction, âeven as a kid. Remember all those games of tag?â
You remember.
And you remember how heâd always let you winâjust enoughâbefore pulling you back into his arms with that sly smile of his, the one that made your heart race and your stomach flip.
But now?
Now thereâs no escape.
Now, his hands are all over you, claiming you again and again. You scream in pleasure, your body trembling under the weight of it all. His thrusts are punishing, but you canât find it in yourself to care.
âYou think Iâm done with you?â Caleb mutters, bending over you, his lips brushing your ear as he thrusts deeper, harder. âYouâre wrong.â
You can barely comprehend what heâs saying, too caught up in the endless spiral of pleasure and pain, but he doesnât care. He doesnât need you to understand.
Heâs not finished with you. Not by a long shot.
You try to push him away, but heâs too strong, too determined, too hungry. The game has shifted. Now itâs a battle of wills, and youâre not sure you want to win.
With a primal groan, he pulls you back against him, his hands digging into your waist, his mouth trailing hot kisses down your neck as he takes you againâslamming into you with an unholy force that leaves you gasping for air.
You donât stand a chance.
You think you can catch your breath. You think you can stop. But Calebâs dark eyesâburning, unwaveringâlook down at you, and you know, with every fiber of your being, that thereâs no going back. Not now. Not ever.
You try to squirm, to move away, but every time you think you can escape, his hands are thereâpinning you down, forcing you to stay, to take him, to let him claim you in ways no one else can. The harder you struggle, the more determined he becomes.
âYouâre not getting away from me,â he growls in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. âIâm going to break you down until all you know is me. Until your body belongs to me. Forever.â
You canât think. You canât breathe. All you can feel is himâevery inch of him buried inside you, his hips driving into you with an unforgiving rhythm. Your legs tremble, your breath coming in ragged gasps, your body completely surrendered to him.
Heâs relentless. He moves faster, harder, deeper, and you canât do anything but cling to him, feel the electricity of every touch, every kiss, every mark he leaves on you. The room is filled with the sound of skin on skin, the sharp inhale of breath, the frantic rush of your heart.
And through it all, Calebâs eyes never leave you. He watches you as though youâre the only thing that mattersâhis gaze filled with something fierce, something possessive, something dangerous.
He groans, his voice low and hoarse. âIâve wanted you like this for so long. All this time, I knew what I was missing. I knew you were mine.â
Your heart skips a beat, the rawness in his voice making your chest tighten. His hands move down to your hips, pulling you against him, forcing you to take him even deeper. You canât escape, canât move away from him, no matter how much you want to. The pressure inside you buildsârelentless, unbearable.
âSay it,â he demands, his voice like a growl. âTell me youâre mine.â
You open your mouth, but no words come out. Instead, you let your body speak for youâclinging to him, arching into him, begging for more in every breath you take.
His grip tightens around you. He shifts, changing the angle, and a fresh wave of pleasure crashes over you. You gasp, unable to stop yourself from crying out in ecstasy.
âYou canât hide from me anymore,â he growls. âYouâre mine. And Iâll make sure you know it every time.â
And thenâjust when you think you canât take anymoreâCaleb pulls you into him, his lips capturing yours in a kiss so deep, so desperate, that you canât help but melt into it. His tongue invades your mouth, and you meet him with equal fervor, your hands grasping at his shoulders, your body pressed tightly against his.
âTell me you need me,â he murmurs between kisses, his voice low, demanding, and so fucking sexy. âTell me you want me. That youâre mine.â
You do.
You say it, breathlessly, barely able to hold on.
âYes, Caleb,â you whisper. âIâm yours.â
His eyes darken even further, a vicious smile curling on his lips. And then, with one final, savage thrust, he brings you to the edge of oblivionâbreaking you completely.
You scream his name as the world shatters around you, your body wracked with pleasure, your mind consumed by the sensation of him inside you.
But Caleb isnât finished. Not yet.
He pulls out, watches you with a wicked grin, and without a secondâs hesitation, flips you over, his grip tight on your waist as he positions you againâharder this time, faster, deeper.
âYouâll never escape me,â he murmurs against your neck as he takes you again, the primal, savage rhythm pushing you to the brink.
And the only thing you can do is let go.
Let him consume you. Let him claim you. Let him ruin you completely.
Initial Concept
The Red Means I Love You
Breaking the News
Him Above All
Showdown
Extras:
Snap Back to Reality
Dinner Party
Condolences
A Year In the Life