I Like Thinking About What A Check-up At The Doctor's Would Be Like For A Nation. Like They Get Their

Alfred is actually very prim and proper when it comes to social events. Everything has to go according to plan or it makes him extremely frustrated and antsy.

When he would throw dinner parties, he followed a very strict English-style protocol, and he always planned things months in advance. Even though he’s relaxed a lot during modern times, he has very bad organizational anxiety and has to make sure everything is perfect before starting an event. He is very likely to wear formal attire at those times.

He’s also not sloppy, he’s one of the best dressed nations at meetings, because he refuses to dress anything other than appropriate. It’s mostly due to his upbringing from England and how most business men and women dress in the US.

hii Breadstick!!!

could you please write some smile dog headcanons?

I’m not sure that you have headcanons for him, so if don’t you can just ignore this

have a good day/night/morning! ily <3

- dancing parrot 🐦🎶

ah yes, our favorite creepy pup! there isn’t much to say about him, but here’s a few little facts 

🐾 Smile Dog HCs🐾

🐾 Smile does not kill people!! He never has!! He’s a good boy!!

🐾 He also doesn’t speak (some blogs have the headcanon that he talks, and I think in the original canon he can say a few phrases, but I just can’t see it and therefore, on this blog, he doesn’t speak) 

🐾 Smile was adopted by Slender as a Christmas present for Sally one year (meanie tumblr won’t let me add the link but the story behind this is in my masterlist) but he’s now become Jeff’s dog and serves as sort of an emotional support animal

🐾 Smile and Jeff are very close, with Smile even sleeping in the same room as Jeff at night, and Smile helps to regulate Jeff’s moods. 

🐾 Smile is mostly reddish but he also has black fur markings as well

🐾 He’s very fluffy!!! 

🐾 Which means he sheds. A lot. 

🐾 If you’re allergic to dogs, you might think you’d be allergic to Smile, but you won’t be. He’s a different breed (ha) altogether, and although he has lots of fur that he sheds, for some reason, people with dog allergies aren’t allergic to him

🐾 It’s probably due to the fact that, although we call him Smile Dog, he isn’t really a dog. Or at least, not the kind we’re used to. 

🐾 He’s a demonic dog, which there is a difference between demonic dogs and regular dogs

🐾 Slender thinks that Smile was probably turned into a demonic dog as a puppy, like how EJ was once a human but he became demonic, but nobody knows for sure. 

🐾 Smile is abnormally friendly and behaves like a normal dog however, which could indicate that he was, at one point in his life, a normal dog. Or he could just be a very friendly demonic dog. Who knows? 

🐾 Because he is a demonic dog, Smile eats a raw meat diet. Don’t worry, it’s not the same thing that EJ eats. It’s just raw meat, like a cut of beef that you’d get at the grocery store except you don’t cook it. (Some pet dogs actually do have this kind of diet, but Smile requires raw meat. He can’t eat regular dog food). 

🐾 Smile is also naturally nocturnal! Which means he’d be a sleepy boy during the day, but very active during the night. However, he’s sort of shifted his sleeping schedule since he lives with the other pastas, so now he sleeps during the late night and the morning, but is active during the afternoon and evening/early night. 

🐾 Smile enjoys receiving pets. A lot. He craves attention and his fur is very soft so you can have a lot of fun patting him :) 

🐾 Smile can have a bit of an attitude at times, not listening to commands that well, but for the most part he’s pretty well-behaved. 

🐾 He knows several tricks! He’s a smart boy :) 

🐾 Smile’s doggy personality is a mix between a husky, golden retriever, Great Pyrenees and German shepherd. 

🐾 In terms of looks, the closest he gets to a normal looking dog would be a cross between the two pictures below (red husky & husky/great pyrenees mix) 

This is the texture and length of his fur: 

This is the coloring and how he looks in the face (except the white parts are black and he’s more reddish than it’s pictured): 

Overall, he’s a good boy who deserves treats & pats!! 

Lil Jeff moment

It's so funny seeing people who are like "Val is irredeemable villain but Vox could be redeemed" like... Vox embodies all evil of capitalist greed. He not only enables all things that Valentino does. He's probably also a libertarian fuckboy who profits of slavery, abuses his employees and is responsible for hundreds of lives ruined or ended. His favourite things are brainwashing and unpaid child labour. And don't get me started about the environmental damage his tech corporation caused and consequences of medial propaganda.

Just like, you know, real life billionaires who historically proven to be more of a menace to the society than singular abusive freaks*. And irl we even have all those laws and regulations that sometimes even work (to some extend). Imagine how those guys that occasionally finance literal genocides on Earth would act in Hell.

*Though I think that Vox is an abusive sexual freak as well but I have no other evidence than the fact that he has cameras everywhere and is in love with Valentino so there must be something wrong with him.

he lowkey becoming relatable

Not enough tokoyami content

Стиляга

The snowdrift butcher

*jinglebells menacingly at u*

THANK YOU LORD

Dare I say America core

Reworking Alfred’s entire character

I’m obsessed with this stupid son of a bitch, let’s get into it

I think too many people make him too uwu nice and forgiving as if most Americans don’t hold life long grudges over a ball game. Or that we can’t be serious at the drop of a hat when it comes down to it. Like when we say fuck around and find out we mean it, which apparently that’s a very American thing. Yes the dumb bitch stereotype is real, but there’s such a “you’re joking right?” attitude among people when it comes to certain things that I think he could go from playful to serious in a second, to the point where it might trip some people up. Especially when it comes to moral issues.

Also I hate that him being super obsessed with his image and how he’s seen by others is interpreted as sad uwu emo boy instead of clean girl maniac Patrick Bateman type of egotistical freak.

He should also be more apathetic and serious about work instead of “omg let’s build a ladder to the moon!” You have not set foot in this capitalistic hellscape if you think that’s an accurate way to characterize him lmao.

On top of that, he’s a fake ass bitch and that should be expanded on. Like he is definitely the type of person that has a million different ways of presenting himself and his personality to the point where he’s not sure who he really is.

He should be a lot more ego driven too. Like “how is this going to reflect on ME” not “I’m doing this ONLY out of the goodness of my big heart uwu”. Not that he can’t or doesn’t care, but if it reflects well on him then he’s more likely to choose that option.

Anyway, this is just some of my thoughts, im sure I’ll add more in the future

(If you characterize him differently that’s fine this is just me rambling and being obsessed)