424

424

All right, listen. It’s pretty damn funny that two weeks ago I posted all like, “oh I don’t really comment chapter-by-chapter, I’m waiting to see what happens next,” but this one broke me.

This chapter was everything I wanted for bkdk, and it’s so much more tender than I ever dreamed it could be.

This post is not going to be like most of my posts, because I am a flood of emotion. If you’re wanting some detailed, well-researched analysis of this scene, that ain’t coming for a while.

I don’t have some kind of comparative linguistics to show you. I just have my visceral reactions as someone who speaks Japanese and has absorbed Japanese media for many years. I have shared my heart with others in Japanese, I’ve sputtered out words between sobs and felt the many kinds of comfort different people try to offer. I have comforted others who let themselves be vulnerable with me.

In all these moments, just as in English, I wondered if my words and feelings reached them. Each time, I felt the warmth of connection when they looked at me, and I decided that they knew I did my best. They accepted me, even if it wasn’t perfect.

I’m gonna tell you the truth, and I wouldn’t normally say this so directly, but it matters to me: the fan translation for this specific scene is not good. The tone is wildly off in some ways and it outright omits a number of very important words.

The official translation gets so much of it right.

But that’s not really what I want to talk about right now. I want to talk about how people are reading this scene.

I have seen a ton of, frankly, oblivious interpretations of Izuku’s side of things.

Listen to me. Izuku is not making fun of Katsuki for crying, he is not telling Katsuki that crying isn’t like him, that isn’t in the text at all. He is not rejecting Katsuki’s feelings, or belittling them, or ignoring them, or any of that.

Izuku has seen Katsuki cry in-canon a number of times, but every time it was over his own personal failures, and the frustration, anger, guilt, and grief associated with them. We see it in the aftermath of Deku vs. Kacchan 1. We see it during Deku vs. Kacchan 2.

Izuku is shocked to see Kacchan cry because this is the first time he has cried for Izuku.

When Katsuki apologized in 322, he looked Izuku in the eye and told him his feelings with conviction and poise. He was gentle and vulnerable, but strong, because he was asking Izuku to trust them and rely on them. To come back with them and believe in them, like they believe in Izuku. He bowed his head to show his remorse. He caught Izuku when he fell, and he accepted Izuku’s own apology.

424

He embodied dignity, sincerity, and strength of character. He was a true hero.

This?

424

This is the raw, honest sorrow of a young boy. It is a tender, earnest, unguarded display of how much Izuku means to him.

These are the tears you shed for someone you cherish. These are tears for when you think you are losing something you can’t live without. Because Katsuki isn’t just crying for the loss of Izuku’s dream—it’s their dream, the future they dreamt up together as kids.

424

Izuku is almost pathologically incapable of understanding how other people see him and feel about him, but this is unmistakable. He is stunned because there is no other explanation.

424

There is unmitigated heartache and longing at the core of Katsuki saying, “I just thought somehow we would be together like this, competing and chasing after each other, forever.”

And Izuku is reeling, but so, so touched, and filled with fondness. Look at how his shock shifts to this overwhelmed, affectionate smile.

424

He’s right—this isn’t the usual Katsuki, and that is precisely why it means so much. We as the audience have been privy to Katsuki’s feelings, but until now Izuku himself has never really grasped the depth of them. This is all the tenderness Katsuki has kept locked up inside, and he is letting Izuku see it for the first time.

To see Kacchan—strong, fierce, and absolutely unstoppable—shed these innocent, helpless tears for him and tell him through sobs that he wanted things to stay this way forever, I can’t blame him for being blown away.

I think Izuku expected Katsuki to be shocked and a little sad that he gave up OFA, both for Izuku’s sake and because it is the legacy of their hero. Before Katsuki even starts crying, Izuku has this small smile on his face, like he was ready to reassure him that he had made peace with his own choice.

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424

But he clearly didn’t expect for Katsuki to weep openly in front of him about it or to confess to wanting him by his side. Izuku had so enjoyed just being allowed near Katsuki, allowed in his life at all—to think that Katsuki could want the same and want it this much, to the point that he worries that things would change, that Izuku would abandon him or deny him? How could that ever be?

In what world could Izuku ever stop chasing Kacchan?

Izuku is a bit of an idiot. He has always thought that Katsuki understood how much he cared for and admired him—that’s why he is so shocked during DvK2 to hear that Katsuki thought he looked down on him for years. Izuku thought Katsuki understood his feelings and simply rejected them.

The way he loves Kacchan is natural and unquestionable. Even now, he can’t understand how Katsuki doesn’t know. It’s baffling to him.

But he still accepts Katsuki’s vulnerability and responds to the intimacy.

424

This is such an affectionate, loving thing to say. Izuku is being so sweet. I cannot convey to you strongly enough how Izuku telling Katsuki, “C’mon, stop it, this isn’t like you!” reaffirms their closeness.

If Izuku had not said this line and instead skipped straight to this nervous, awkward little attempt at comfort here:

424

It would have read as so much more distant.

With his tears and his confession, Katsuki pleads with Izuku to not leave him. To be with him always.

And in response, Izuku unabashedly stakes his claim on their bond by being bold enough to affectionately scold him and even assert authority on what kind of person Katsuki is. Remember these?

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Chapters 202 and 319

This is such a staple in Japanese media for showing close bonds. Your loved ones know you. They tease you. They scold you. They have that right. You gave it to them.

The people you love cheer you up by reminding you that you’re strong and brave and that even if things feel hopeless and like you can’t go on, that they know you can. Everything will be okay, and they know so because they’ll be right there with you. Of course they’ll be there.

Symbolically, throughout the series, Izuku’s response to Katsuki trying to be closer to him has always been: “Of course.”

He has always accepted Katsuki as much as he is able to, as much as he had awareness for. He is wildly lacking in self-awareness, so it’s certainly not perfect, but by god does he try.

What Izuku is really saying is a mixture of “Really? You want that, too?” and “Don’t be silly!”

One part is him being shocked and touched; the other is him being absolutely certain of his own heart, and showing it as best he can.

He does get flustered and self-conscious, though—because it’s overwhelming to see Kacchan this way, and this is kind of new territory for them. So he switches tactics to reassure Kacchan about how things are now, and make sure he doesn’t feel embarrassed about this outburst. He still has the embers, so it’s okay for now. And their bodies are weak, so of course their heads will be in a bad place too, it’s easy to get low spirits. Of course Katsuki would be feeling vulnerable. It’s normal.

He gives Katsuki so many things here. He gives him as much as he can.

Izuku doesn’t know how long he’ll have the embers for and, frankly, he doesn’t have any guarantee that he will be able to satisfy this longing of Katsuki’s after he loses them. This, too, is a staple of promises in Japanese media: “I don’t know if I can satisfy you, but I want to try. I hope you can accept me.”

Things will be different—the future is always uncertain, now more than ever for their world. But what will never change is what they feel in their hearts.

After this scene, I honestly don’t care if we get something other people see as “bkdk canon.”

What Katsuki says is as good as a confession to me. What Izuku says in return is genuine and pure. This is a messy pair of teenage boys figuring out how to reach each other with words, when they have always been so damn bad at it. This is the two of them both reaching a new point of intimacy and reaffirming everything that came before.

More Posts from Jupitermoon4 and Others

1 year ago

My poor boy Aaron...

Maybe someone already have asked the question, but why in The Foxhole slasher, Andrew is the one who works in infirmary(instead of Aaron). I think it's for Andrew starts to trust Neil earlier. Because here we only have the summer for the plot + the epilogue. But maybe you have another point of view?

Honestly, at first it was indeed intended mostly as a plot device!

As you said, it was easier for Andrew and Neil to bound if Andrew is the one who saved Neil's life, since it made a good excuse for them to interract often (+ Andrew would know for sure Neil is hiding something, because he saw his body covered with scars, it worked perfectly for that context,). Also, I liked the idea that Andrew has to look after people he cares about. It's such a big part of his character in the original books to me (well not in the "medical" sense, but you know what I mean, he is such a devoted person when he has to look after someone).

A lot of my original ideas changed and developed since my first Tumblr post about the slasher fic, and now there is actually an angsty reason behind it, but I can't say it. ; ) The only thing I can tell you is that it is related to the twins' past in that version of the story (it will be different compared to canon).

And yeah, Aaron indeed dreamed to become a med student, it's just that something happened that shatered his dreams. 👀

10 months ago

Even if Dead plate wasn’t queerbaiting, it was DEFINITELY shipbaiting. The dialogue option about whether Rody is jealous of Vince’s possible gf, the hair drying scene, the way he stops correcting Rody about not calling him Vince… u guys r tumblr girlies, you knew damn well what you were doing LMAO. There’s nothing wrong w that lol - it makes for a fun dynamic - but don’t claim that queerbaiting never came into it pffft

My co-developer and composer who worked on the game are both men, calling us "tumblr girlies" is a bit condescending and disrespectful.

To queerbait or shipbait, it means we were taking advantage of possible queer characters and relationships as a means to appeal to queer audiences while maintaining ambiguity about the characters' sexualities. We don't believe the game was baiting anyone since again not only the sexualities of the characters aren't ambiguous as it was fully stated they were written as queer the moment they were designed way before the game was even developed, we've expressed multiple times that while the game does have themes of queerness and cannibalism the main plot and intention behind the source game was always intended to heavily focus on exploring the horror that comes from toxic and unhealthy obsessions and mindsets and how far one is willing to go for them (Rody's self-sacrificial and desperate love for Manon, Vince's selfish obsession for perfection, Rody and taste, etc). The game is about a waiter seeking out and realizing what happened to his ex-girlfriend, that's always been the main plot, Dead Plate is a game in the thriller/horror genre and there was not a single mention of the game having any possible romance in it nor the queer identities and interactions of the characters were used to promote the game in any of the official game pages or promotional material to draw in more audiences, so hearing that you're watering the game down just as some kind of shallow bait is a bit disheartening.

Sometimes characters just happen to be queer, and not all media with queer characters are strictly about romance. Their relationship is still up for audience interpretation and people can take them as whatever they like if they want to enjoy them like that as long as they aren't hurting anyone but we never meant to intentionally bait anyone into trying out the game using their queerness, and that as queer writers ourselves we've expressed time and time again how we wished people to check out the game for the overall narrative and message it has rather than for people to only focus and view the game as shipping material since we believe the game offers a lot more than that.

8 months ago

Moonjo could’ve filmed Jongwoo when he went rampaged in goshiwon

i just got the thought when talking to @anocturnaluniverse in twt

Moonjo Could’ve Filmed Jongwoo When He Went Rampaged In Goshiwon
Moonjo Could’ve Filmed Jongwoo When He Went Rampaged In Goshiwon
Moonjo Could’ve Filmed Jongwoo When He Went Rampaged In Goshiwon

and when post-cannon Jongwoo tries to lie to himself ‘that wasn’t me, that was Moonjo.’ Moonjo then fishes out his phone 'looky here, Jagi’ he’d make dozens of backup files and rewatch it religiously too.

11 months ago
It’s Our Turn To Make You Smile

it’s our turn to make you smile

1 year ago

Ladies and men, Is it straight to know how many freckles your ‘enemy’ has?

Ladies And Men, Is It Straight To Know How Many Freckles Your ‘enemy’ Has?
1 year ago

I genuinely think Atsushi would get along with most of the Port Mafia.

Like he and Akutugawa have that whole, thing going on and still trust and care for each other.

And if Akutugawa is okay with him I think the Black lizards would at least try and find him fun.

Hirotsu is just like why can't you guys be as well behaved as Atsushi and Tachihara's like he just hissed at me! While Atsushi looks like the picture of innocence.

Chuuya and Atsushi would probably tease Dazai for his antics. I like to think if Kunikida hasn't already, Chuuya would show him how to throw a correct punch.

They'd be chill, probably pet some dogs together.

Kouyou and Atsushi would bond over Kyouka, how she's being doing and such. She'd probably tease him and he'd dish it out just as good back.

Which I like to think she'd respect, especially if she mentored Chuuya, and they'd get tea together.

She'd probably sigh at his bangs but go nope that's for another day.

Probably sasses Mori without realising it and Mori just laughs like no no go on.

Mori definitely spills some embarrassing Fukuzawa stories and Atsushi can't look at the man for the next week, and won't say why.

And just Atsushi is just that guy I think if he can somehow and somewhat befriend Akutugawa and Lucy, he can end up befriending others.

Imagine it goes so well that they're like erm yeah forget Yosano we want the weretiger plz to be exchanged.

Atsushi: Why would anyone want me?

Everyone: both Port Mafia and Detective Agency.... Who told you that?!

10 months ago
I Read A Fic About Them So I Draw Them.

I read a fic about them so i draw them.

The fic:

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
1 year ago

akutagawa: i am cold.

atsushi: put on another blanket

akutagawa: i am already under 3

atsushi:

atsushi: okay fine

*transforms and lays on top of akutagawa*

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jupitermoon4 - Spacefox
Spacefox

ex andreil and sskk addicted ///jumping from fandom to fandom

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