AU:
Neil doesn’t meet the foxes, he’s instead caught by the FBI
He helps them catch his father and bring down his empire.
One day he’s brought in to Andrew’s lecture as a guest speaker
The Q&A at the end:
Student: Have you ever killed someone?
Neil: There’s two FBI agents at the door who advised me against answering that specific question. There’s your answer.
Student: What’s the best way to get fake documents?
Neil: I’m legally required to say “don’t”.
Student: What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?
Neil: See, that’s a trick question, because if I answer it becomes the most illegal thing I’ve admitted to.
Student: What’s the hardest lie youve ever had to tell?
Neil: “Sure, I’d love to do a Q&A with a bunch of people who are weirdly obsessed with my father and decided to study crimes because they don’t have the balls to commit them.”
Student: Are you afraid your father’s people will come after you?
Neil *at the end of his fucking rope*: No, I feel completely safe. That’s why I’ve got armed federal agents waiting outside.
Student: How’d you get caught?
Neil: First of all, rude. Second, the FBI made a very compelling argument
Student: …which one
Neil: “cooperate or find out exactly how many laws you’ve broken” - said by a guy holding a very thick file. Direct. Effective. Hard to argue while zip-tied to a chair.
Student: What’s something you miss about your old life?
Neil: being able to leave a room without seven cops and a judge asking where I’m going.
Student: If you could do it all over again, would you?
Neil: I’d rather set myself on fire. I know you don’t understand that reference, but trust me when I say it’s funny.
Student: how many identities have you had?
Neil: Simultaneously or in total?
Student: …total?
Neil: enough that I had to check my ID before answering roll call
Student: what’s the worst crime you’ve ever committed?
Neil: do you want me to answer this as Neil Josten or Nathaniel Wesninski? The distinction matters.
Student: Have you ever made someone disappear?
Neil *looking over his shoulder at Browning*: goodness gracious no
Student: How many languages do you speak?
Neil: enough to talk my way out of things… mostly into them, though
Student: Why did you agree to talk to us?
Neil: it was this or community service
He’s as unhelpful as possible.
His entire goal is to waste everyone’s time while making it just interesting enough that no one can call him out on it.
And Andrew? He’s watching. He’s enthralled. He’s interested, and isn’t that odd.
The professor looks like she regrets her entire career. Half the class is too stunned to speak. Browning is wondering if the punishment for beating up the most valuable witness the FBI has in custody would be worth it. (It would)
Anyway long story short. 5 minutes in Andrew’s in love
Queer as in an "identity is fluid and descriptors can be imprecise so I prefer a more general term" sort of way but also queer in a "What are you, a cop?" sort of way.
i just got the thought when talking to @anocturnaluniverse in twt
and when post-cannon Jongwoo tries to lie to himself ‘that wasn’t me, that was Moonjo.’ Moonjo then fishes out his phone 'looky here, Jagi’ he’d make dozens of backup files and rewatch it religiously too.
It's very late and I have fever but
Get ready to ruck the canon.
So, Mary
When she ran away, she faked Neil's death— or something among those lines
BUT it's also when he's like 15/16 lol
So he somehow ends up in Baltimore (or was it Columbia?? You know the idea, it's where tilda is)
He needs a job, he ends up working in a terrariums
HE'S PERFECT AT IT
His body is so tough that sometimes he just sorta pick the roses up without gloves and doesn't even finch.
He's just such a "brute" that working there is amazing for him
Then, Andrew kill tilda and yada yada.
THEN they need a flower arrangement.
U see where I'm going with this?
Neil gets in there and he's horrible at this part of the jobs because why does everyone cry so much
He's still gotta be there for reasons that I'll remember when I'm better
Him and a Andrew end up skipping the funeral and smocking together in the back of the church
"She was your mom?" "No, she was Aaron's. Tilda was, at best, my bio mother and that's enough of a shame" "My mom died too" "Do you expect me to clap or?"
Do you. Do you see the vision
my heart is yours, jagi 💘
"parallels" (idk what words mean) between seo inwoo and seo moonjo
1. pretty red lighting
2. having rooftops meet-cute
3. shushing people
4. when bae (tries to) commits manslaughter <3
5. disturbing the peace/people in cars
6. probably wouldn't know personal space even if it hit him in the face
7. very happy person
8. tells a guy how much he cares about another dude before beating up the guy with a random item, as one does
9. asks someone out for drinks 😔 gets rejected 😔
10. always assume that he is there. he probably is.
11. they have their own creepy little music! (not sure if it's their theme song or smth but it shows up a lot around them)
Dongsik: I'm your favorite person :)
Inwoo:... And you're pleased? How delusional, Yook Dongsik. Don't you know that's the worst thing that could have ever happened to you?
Dongsik: Yes, but it's also the worst thing that could have happened to you.
Inwoo:
Dongsik: :)
[...] Neil wrenched the broken bag off its hook. When he turned to throw it Andrew caught his wrist. Neil hadn't even heard Andrew cross the room toward him. Neil stared at him and through him, heart pounding in his temples. "It's ruined," Neil said, voice ragged with an awful rage. "It's all ruined."
I saw a wonderful post with 1500 yo merlin that time travel back to Camelot & he hates the fact that there is no coffee, no plumbing,...
But
Hear me out.
Merlin and post return Arthur that BOTH came back to Camelot but it's Arthur that HATES it
Arthur that lived for 30 years in the modern world & got used to it (but at the same time not totally because Merlin is an old man and his home look a lot like your grandpa's home if your grandpa was 1500 yo if you see what I mean. )
Arthur that simply can not live without his morning coffee and simply hates the fact that Merlin doesn't need it (the peak of being a warlock)
Arthur that got used to live in a magical house that was 100% rats-free (except for that two 150 years old pet rats that Merlin keeps, don't ask him. Arthur stopped asking questions about sorcerer and their familiars when Merlin's Owl began to speak. It's rats free where it matter aka NOT in his (their) bed) AND kind of half alive magical house (what do you mean he has to GET UP and ASK to someone to get his warm bath?!)
Arthur that lived his best life with 0 responsibility (except one or two magical quest here and there & the need to feed merlin's (their but Arthur has a dad-getting-a-pet-he-didn't-want behaviour about it) dragons) with his immortal bf/husband/he-is-half-of-my-soul-as-the-poets-say and now has to share his home with other people AND with assholes, spies, assassin's,... Lurking everywhere
Arthur that now understand why Merlin hates it so much when someone think he is a 20 something years old and why he never left the house without his old man/60 years old appearance
Basically Arthur at first being like "it's so nostalgic :D" then "Merlin, I don't care what you do, I want our home back😩... What do you mean we CAN'T!?! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS?!? "
(this post is somewhat a fellow-up from Merlin actually living for 1500+ years and kind of merlin not looking 20 years old because he is old)
if tfc was set in 2025, Neil josten would've pointed at riko, went "kill yourself" on live television and been canceled on twitter
neil josten I would have defended you. I hope u know bby