Me typing in the kafka x reader tag every few minutes like how you would open a fridge hoping food just magically appears:
How do you think fem HSRcharacters would feel about a darling with a hairy legs? Like the reason they don't shave is becouse is becouse they want to look more androgynous. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.
And if that okay if I'll be your anon?
- 🦔
I don’t think any of the HSR women would mind if you had body hair on your legs, armpits, arms, private regions, etc, because it’s all natural!
Plus, I’m going to say it now, body hair can be very attractive as it’s a sign of a mature adult! Whether you shave or not is up to you, both are attractive to your HSR lover, but what matters it that you’re comfortable with what’s on your body, and if you like it, they like it too :)
Also having body hair can be feminine too. I know you said Reader leaves it on to look androgynous and that’s totally valid, but feminine people can have body hair and still be feminine too! 💕
(push kafka and shalom aside)
let me introduce u guys my other zooweemamas i know these two redhead will treat me right i just KNOW it
Collei being the most normal one here seems about right
Can you peel an orange for me? 🍊
synopsis: would your friend/lover peel an orange for you? Or pull some other stunts? Stay tuned and find out!!
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 everyone (+ dottore/pantalone/capitano) except the kids & aloy
♡ mainly fluff, some characters may be OOC! can be seen as romantic/platonic!
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author's note: kms, bro what was I writing. you may notice some are longer and some are shorter, I just want to defend that NO favouritism was played in this and it was purely on what ideas I had ON THE SPOT!!! Say thank you to my wife (for dottore), and thank you to @/mixed kester, @/harmonysanreads, @/pranabefall and @/jessamine-rose for the idea for xianyun, thank you to @/naraven for kinich. I love them all and I'm not worthy to be in their presence 😔💜
Background: チャイ @ alphacoders
Raiden: Slashes the orange with her katana, accidentally cutting through the floor, you had to call a carpenter that day.
Kaveh: puts away his paper and pens, and is quite enthusiastic about peeling the orange because he likes the feeling of you depending on him even for menial tasks.
Alhaitham: would NOT be willing to put down the book in his hands, would NOT peel, questions your physical abilities and intellect.
Tighnari: Stops writing notes on his little poisonous plants and gives you the side eye but still peels and tries to ask if anything is wrong.
Cyno: deadpanned look, no emotion presented. But he takes the orange and starts peeling it, and makes jokes at the same time, and you're not one to miss out laughing in glee just to see his expression brighten up.
Zhongli: He widens his eyes a bit, this is the first time anyone has asked him to peel an orange. He was one of the strongest archons after all, who would dare to delegate or ask him of such a menial task? With inquiring eyes, he takes off his gloves to take the orange and would smile while peeling it, hands you back the orange, and proceeds to ask, “Is anything up, my dear?”
Childe: Eager, like a puppy. “Why of course comrade!!” Enthusiastically peels for you and feeds you as well, definitely does, “Here comes the airplane! Aaaaaaaa.” And you just stared at him.
Neuvillette: He would be confused but he has the spirit and would try to peel the orange for you! Has never peeled an orange before and it ends up looking messy and he gets embarrassed and starts practicing peeling oranges just in case…
Wriothesley: Confusion turns to amusement because he knows something is definitely up, but peels the orange for you anyway, ruffles up your hair and tries to interrogate you playfully.
Ayato: Tries to peel, fails miserably, orange looks mangled, he throws it away and orders Thoma to bring in freshly peeled ones. At least you tried, Ayato.
Ayaka: Like Ayato, has NO experience whatsoever, but at least she peeled better than his sorry ass. Blushes and feels cute afterwards though doing such a domestic(??) activity.
Thoma: More than happy to assist you! He peels the orange and even arranges it into a flower on a plate so it looks all pretty. You felt burdened to eat the pretty orange display, but facing his eager sparkling eyes, you quickly chomp everything down.
Pantalone: No. Time is money. And capitalism conquers all. Calls in a fatui agent to bring freshly peeled expensive oranges.
Dottore: He takes the orange and you widen your eyes in disbelief, has your efforts finally reformed him?? Has he changed? Has someone possess- BOOM! No, he tried using one of his tools to peel the orange, and the juice accidentally got into it and it exploded. Now you and Dottore are covered in black soot and your hair is sticking out all over the place! At least for the first time, both of you are wearing couple matching outfits <3
Capitano: You decided to disturb him during his sparring session with his soldiers, but he didn't mind. Abiding by your simple request and silently takes the orange from you to peel it oh so gently, before placing the nicely peeled orange in your palms.
Scaramouche/Wanderer: Denial is a river in Egypt, gives you the stink eye, you stare at him longer, he sighs and gives in. He holds out his hand and looks away, all flustered. Hands you back some shitty peeled oranges. He tried his best, you like it and you gave him a kiss on the cheek as a reward.
Kazuha: ✨ Why of course, my muse ✨ peels the orange and even offers to feed you, proceeds to write a poem on him feeding you oranges, reads it aloud and you start to feel regret for your actions.
Dainsleif: he's confused, why are YOU asking him to peel an orange for you? Are you having some kind of pain that's hindering you from peeling an orange? He peels it anyway, not before checking the condition of your hand mobility.
Diluc: He was busy doing paperwork, but he nods, takes off his glasses, gestures for you to come closer, takes the orange from you, peels it and passes it back to you. You lounge in his office after that, peeling oranges for you to feed him.
Kaeya: “Why, if you want my attention, just say so!* ✨ peels the orange gracefully that you suspect he was a swan with how much elegance he was giving off doing such an activity. He proceeds to have you sit down on his lap and hand feeds you afterwards.
Itto: AH↗️HA↘️HA↗️HA↘️HA↗️HA↘️HA!Asking him? The bevelont oh so amazing Arataki ITTO! Glad to be of service. Peels the orange a bit too enthusiastically, the orange peels flies everywhere, eats HALF of your orange TOO dawg 😭😭
Xianyun: peels it once and she builds a machine afterwards, named the orange peelinator to help you peel for your future oranges.
Lyney: takes your orange, peels it, only to play party tricks with the orange by making it disappear, or teasing you with it like a Turkish vendor selling ice cream. Safe to say, you lunged at him like a rabid dog.
Lynette: Was snacking on something, turns to look at you and quickly takes the orange to peel it and hand it back to you so she can resume eating.
Freminet: looks honoured to peel an orange for you 😭 carefully and delicately peels it and even takes a slice to try to feed his penguin, Pers.
Baizhu: *cough* *cough* Changsha gives you the death stare. Asking a feeble doctor to peel an orange for you? Don't you have hands? Baizhu quickly pats her head down to shut her down, wipes his hands and takes the orange from you to peel it. You felt guilty afterwards and appeared later in the afternoon with a plate of sliced fruits good for his health.
Albedo: He peeled the orange in the midst of conducting an experiment and your peeled orange got cross contamination so you sadly turned into a mint green plant for the rest of the day. Albedo put you in a little pot and watered you. Thankfully you turned back.
Arlecchino: She's a father and has masterful orange peeling skills, you blink and suddenly the oranges are all peeled and sliced in your hands.
Chasca: Gives up and proceeds to blast the orange into pieces with her gun without a second thought, only to realise what she has done, apologises, and takes you to a fruit vendor, bargains and you end up with a basket of oranges at a cheap price.
Chiori: Huh?? Peel oranges for you??? Don't you have hands… Fine, give it here. Peels it nicely and gives it back.
Citali: No, she's too busy indulging in her light novels. YOU'LL have to feed her instead lest she goes hungry from binge-reading. You also found out beer and oranges were an interesting taste combo.
Clorinde: With a serious expression, she peels it seriously and hands the peeled orange to you with a serious… proud look. You praised her and you could see a sparkle lit up in her eye. She now takes the fruits in your hands to peel them for you even if you don't ask for it.
Dehya: Laughs boisterously and peels it for you, takes some for herself and feeds you them as well. Note mentally to buy oranges for you to eat in the future.
Emilie: Peels the orange with a gentle smile, you got it back but your oranges taste… somewhat alcoholic somehow… like she was handling her perfumes…
Eula: She crosses her arms and hmphs at first, wondering why you couldn't accomplish a simple task, but the moment she saw a downtrodden look on your face. She immediately becomes flustered, takes the orange and hurriedly peels it, feeds and failingly coaxes you. She always peels your fruits afterwards without question now.
Furina: Reluctant to do it, but she couldn't reject you straight up so she puts up a whole AHHH acting performance on why she doesn't feel like peeling an orange, only to give in and peel it when you bribed to take her out to that latest cafe.
Ganyu: She's sleep-deprived and overworked and you still make her peel an orange? What a monster! Jokes aside, she's more than happy to peel an orange for you sleepingly, even munches on it afterwards, only to realise it, abruptly woke up with an expression of horror and apologies to you for stealing your orange. You reassured her it was totally fine and dandy but still had to wrestle with her later on to let YOU peel the oranges.
Hu Tao: “Oya?” A blink of confusion but she cheerfully peels it, not minding one bit whatsoever! Steals a slice later when you're not looking and jokingly tries to feed her little ghost.
Jean: Overworked no.2 but she's used to Klee’s antics and requests so honestly, peeling an orange was no trouble to her at all and it gave her a little break from work.
Keqing: Overworked no.3, she gives you a silent stare but doesn't say anything and simply peels it. “I want golden shrimp balls after work.” She requests. You giggled, “Alright, love.”
Kinich: About to have a romantic moment with him only to have Ajaw ruining the moment going, “YOU DARE ASK THE CARETAKER OF THE ALMIGHTY DRAGON LORD PEEL AN ORANGE FOR YOU? SCRAM, YOU PEASANT!” Needless to say, Ajaw was locked away for 3 days.
Kokomi: Overworked no.4, buried under papers, her only solace could honestly have been you coming over to ask her to peel an orange. She simply lounges on you afterwards like a fish after peeling the orange, falling asleep in your lap.
Mavuika: Smiles brightly and peels the orange, reminiscing and talks to you about her family and friends from the past, saying how peeling the orange made her remember how everyone used to come to her for help with menial and small tasks. You simply kept quiet and watched her joyfully.
Mona: Mona, the great Megistus, has simply no time to peel an orange for yo- What? You're offering mora? Why, consider it done! Peels the orange with little hydro tricks. I don't think that's how you're supposed to use your gifted powers for, Mona…
Mualani: Yahoo! Let's eat oranges together, she says. Well, that was what she declared at first. Peels it for you and feeds you a slice, her eyes sparkle and she asks you where you got such a wonderful tasty orange from! You name the Vendor and she immediately rushes over to buy out their whole stock to share it with the rest of the clan. Well, it looks like you secured the bright future of a vendor.
Navia: Plans a whole orange themed tea party with her friends instead. Sipping orange juice in a teacup, eating orange flavoured and coloured desserts, on the orange patterned napkin, under the orange patterned umbrella… “I HAD ENOUGH OF ORANGES!” Furina flips out.
Nilou: You brought oranges during her dance practice, and she was more than happy to peel an orange for you and feed you. She was even happier to see you there, to be honest. Shares the oranges with her colleagues.
Shenhe: Stabs it with a spear and hands you a pierced orange. Well, the spirit is there, the effort is there. It's good enough, you silently thought as you took the orange with a big hole in it.
Venti: “Oh?~ What's this? Some sort of test?” Oh wow, he's sharp. With nothing to hide, you nodded. He laughs and peels an orange for you and feeds you and himself. He proceeds to send a strong gust of wind to an orange tree later in order to knock off all the oranges and eat with you later.
Mika: “Hm? Oh!” Doesn't get it because why are you handing an orange to him?? But you asked if he can peel the orange for you. Gets the job done really fast. No questions asked because it's just easier to not rack his brain to know what or why you did. Peels the orange swiftly, and gives it back to you.
Xiao: Even coaxing with almond tofu didn't work! Only when he saw you sulking, he furrowed his eyebrows, snatches the orange, quickly peels it and hands it back to you. He relaxed once he sees your expression fade into one of glee and satisfaction. “Hmph.”
Xilonen: No 😔 She's busy snoozing away up in her little tree and nothing could wake her or pull her away from her peaceful nap. You signed defeatingly and just rested at the foot of her tree, the orange left forgotten, some bird later snatched it while you were asleep. Screw you, bird.
Yae Miko: Yea no, tough luck. She asks a priest maiden to peel it for you instead, and hands you the orange with a smug expression like she peeled it herself.
Yelan: With how elusive her work was, it was tough to find her during the day, and you could only give up your pursuit. You woke up from a nap later in your shared home, and on the table were some peeled oranges. It seemed like she heard from others you were wandering around looking for her with an orange in your hand.
Yoimiya: Mistaken your intention when you handed the orange without IMMEDIATELY (that was your first mistake) stating your purpose and proceeded to STICK the orange in a firework and launch it into the air. 😭 You weep for your orange but no worries, she apologised and gave you a brand new one!
Bennett: Somehow he tripped and fell while peeling the orange and it landed in a ditch. You tried to give him another orange but when he peeled it, there was suddenly mold in the orange! You gave him another orange and suddenly, a boar knocked into him, chopping the orange out from his hand and scampering away on its four little feet. Well, you fed an embarrassed Bennett a sliced orange, it's alright really. He did and tried his best and that was all it mattered.
Razor: He ate your whole orange in one bite. 👍
Lisa: Honestly, she didn't do it and only took you out to have lunch with her. She didn't wanna get her gloves dirty 😔 She fed you later with a slice of cake and batted her pretty eyes at you so it's all forgiven.
Gaming: “Oh hell yeah!! Let's make orange flavoured char siu!!” “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!” You screamed in horror.
Amber: Uses your orange as a target practice 😭 Your orange perfectly split into pieces when she shot a bullseye so… all’s well that ends well…?
Barbara: Smiles brightly and peels diligently, passing you a normally peeled orange, seeing the bright smile on your face brought a feeling of happiness in her.
Ningguang: Gets a servant to peel it for you instead. And then decides to buy better oranges later on because the orange you got her honestly…doesn't taste that good.. but she won't tell you that.
Beidou: Peels it only to dip the orange into beer and you have a pained expression on your face. Which thought in your brain thought it was a good idea to hand her an orange while she was drinking??
Lianyu: She doesn't get it at first till you ask her to peel an orange for you. Is this some custom or tradition she doesn't know? Nevertheless, she does it and hands you a nice peeled orange, the slices forming a flower.
Candace: Puts down her shield to peel the orange for you, and gives you a nicely peeled orange! Though she asked if you had any more oranges so she could peel them and hand them out to some of the elderly and kids. You felt a bit jealous but kept it to yourself as you nodded. Her expression was bright as she smiled gently, letting out a small chuckle, “Don't worry dear, I'll cook you a meal just for you later.”
Charlotte: No time to peel! She's busy catching headlines and you have trouble catching up with her. She's always in one place and another. You almost caught up to her in the wild, only for her to get jumpscares by you and freeze your orange with her camera shutter and it fell to the ground. You look at it with frustrated tears in the corner of your eyes and suddenly wail, sending Charlotte into panic as she hurriedly picks up the orange, peels it and tries to feed you while reassuring and apologising to you. “Oh, stop crying! Here, here, I peeled the orange for you!”
Chevresue: Thankfully, Chevresue is a certified food connossieur and doesn't try to shoot your orange with a gun.. (*cough* Chasca *cough*) and peels it like a normal person, taking a few slices to munch on for herself.
Chongyun: A GHOST KEEPS STEALING THE ORANGES BEFORE YOU COULD GIVE IT TO HIM. 😭😭 Do they hold some grudges against Chongyun peeling oranges for you?! In fact, one ghost does. It's just your bad luck you caught the attention of some thief-stealing ghost. Don't worry though, you complained to Chongyun and with the biggest determined expression you've ever seen, he hunted down that ghost (somehow?? Did someone help him?) with gusto and found your hidden oranges! Looks like his yin-yang composition is useful after all!
Xiangling: Takes your orange and whips up a dish for you, and suddenly you're sitting in front of Wangmin restaurant sitting across from Xiangling and several plates of food on the table, including your orange.
Collei: “Peel an orange? Okay!” She takes the oranges to peel it for you and hands it back and gets back to her business.
Faruzan: Blah blah blah, respect your elders! Or something along the line… Her endless nagging ended up with you peeling the oranges instead for her…
Fischl: *long text* “I believe my lady is more than delighted to peel an orange for you.” 🐦⬛Thank you, Oz. And you hand her the orange and she peels it elegantly too and arranges it to look like Oz, somewhat.
Gorou: Eagerly ontake the orange peeling duty! He finds it fun and stress-relieving and you guys slowly walk along the beach with multiple peeled oranges in your hands and another orange in his hands getting peeled.
Heizou: He figured out the orange peel theory before you could even open your mouth, laughing as he takes the orange from you to peel it, feeding you a slice and walks away before turning his head to wink at you with an orange slice between his teeth.
Kirara: It's a lucky thing her hands aren't paws or it would have been an awkward moment. But like Charlotte, she's constantly on the run for her deliveries, so you can only wait for her to finish her work to ask her to peel an orange. You sit on the stairs, watching the sunset. Suddenly you hear a mrah, and you turn to see Kirara plopping down to sit next to you, her smile glistening under the sun, “Delivery is all done! One of my customers gave me an orange! Want it?” You look at the orange in her hands, quickly hiding your orange and grinning, “Yea! Can you peel it for me?” “Sure!”
Xingqiu: He gives you a 🙂 and takes the challenge to peel an orange for you. He struggles at first, wondering how to even peel the skin off when it’s so thick. In the end, you had to assist him and teach him how to peel the orange. By the end of it, it's you with an exhausted expression and him with a bright, fulfillingly one as he holds the peeled orange in both of his hands like it's some relic, looking at it with a hint of proudness and joy.
Kuki: Used and tired of Itto's unpredictable behaviour and tactics, without a second glance, she peels the orange at the speed of light before handing it to you. Of course, not before taking a slice of herself, allowing you to see the rare occurrence of her taking off her mask to consume the orange. You stare at her blankly, thankful that your ears were hidden behind your hair as you were sure they were bright red.
Layla: She's too tired and incoherent to peel it for you in the morning, so you have to wait at night and have her other persona energetically peel it for you, and then proceed to conduct a thorough research and history of oranges even though agricultural isn't exactly what she's studying…
Noelle: There's two ways this can do, she peels the oranges like a normal person, or uses her Claymore to perform some archon-defying action and thinly slices the orange into pieces with her blunt blade. And guess which way it went? That's right!! The second way!! She wanted to impress and show off to you, and now you're left in disbelief. 😪
Rosaria: Peel an orange? Can't you peel it yourself? You have two functioning hands. Needless to say, she doesn't peel the orange for you because she thinks you're fully capable of doing it yourself, RIP.
Ororon: Boy is so happy to peel oranges for you, he even steals the seeds of the oranges so he can plant them in his backyard and grow oranges for you to eat like his other vegetables. Looks like you have a farmer boyfriend for life.
Kujou Sara: Gives you that stern look and she almost scares you till too remember it's her default expression. She's just wondering why you turned up at your workplace with an orange in your hands. You asked if she could peel an orange for you, and she gives you a strange look and signals the guards to look away before taking the orange and slowly peeling it, her eyebrows furrowing. She struggles a bit but manages to give you back a successful peeled orange!
Sethos: Raises an eyebrow at your request and stares at you while peeling it waiting for you to tell him your intentions. Pressured under his stare, you spilled it out and he looks at you with an expression of disbelief, sighs and gives you the orange all peeled. “There you go, come to me if you want any other fruits peeled for my proof of love for you.”
Sucrose: Disappears with your orange and appears magically with now modified orange that's more sweet and less sour. You silently peel it yourself to eat it because really, she did allat… You couldn't let her peel it. You also fed her the orange and her ears fluttered(?) a bit up and down, as she cupped her cheeks happily.
Xinyan: “Peeling an orange? Sure!” No questions asked person and peels an orange for you, albeit a little unneat but it's the thought that counts! You happily eat the orange.
Yanfei: You scared her while she was reading a client's case and she shot a flame beam at your orange, disintegrating it. You look at the ashes in your hands and you look up to see her guilty expression. “It's my fault, don’t worry about it.” It really is on you for deciding to walk up to her from behind quietly. “Sorry, I'll buy you a whole crate of oranges on the way home.” You laugh, “Alright, I'll accept your offer. Just peel some oranges for me, okay?” Yanfei nodded, albeit confused at such a request but you didn't elaborate.
Yun Jin: You waited patiently for Yun Jin to finish her opera performance, swinging your legs, you hummed along with Yun Jin’s performance. You finally near the applause from the audience and you excitedly hop off your chair. Yun Jin enters backstage, a smile appearing on her face as she spots you. She walks over to you, “Thanks for waiting for me!” You were about to assure her it was no trouble at all, before you remembered the orange. “Yun Jin!” You call her name. She tilts her name in response. You hold up the orange in your hand, “Peel an orange for me please?” She blinks and nods, “Okay.” She takes the orange in your hands and peels it delicately. “Here you go. Isn't my proof of love delicious?” She laughs softly, the sunlight embracing her softly.
Indeed, isn't the taste of love delicious?
Never writing for almost everyone ever again, this almost took me out.
I would recommend to boycott Amazon since it's supports Zionism that's commits genocide against Palestinians.
I apologize! I will probably purchase the plushies off another seller like eBay or Etsy then. I don’t see either of those companies on the boycott lists, so I hope they’re safe.
Side Note: I had to recheck the lists and sure enough, Amazon is on the boycott list, but they are under the “pressure targets” category, which means that Amazon is one of those huge companies that are impossible to boycott (like Google for example) because they own a lot of other companies/brands which make it very difficult for people to successfully boycott them.
It is instead recommended to pressure these companies by calling them out on their blatant Zionism. Because boycotting itself won’t work on such huge corporate companies like Amazon or Google, it is better to give them negative publicity for their actions and “pressure” them until they stop funding Israel.
Anyways, I don’t normally talk about politics on my blogs, but do try your best to boycott and support Palestine if you can! Here is the official list of companies to avoid if you are curious (pressure targets don’t need to be completely boycotted, they need negative publicity for their actions until they stop funding genocide):
if three of us in the same room together one of us will get pregnant and it's ME
kafka fans are fainting after discovering path to nowhere's shalom (same)
tfw everyone knew you were dating before you did
please don’t use, edit, or repost without permission; thanks!
she spends the most time on her eyes so imagine being super focused while doing her eyeshadow and not noticing the look she’s giving you… you’d have to get somewhat close and she’s sitting in front of her vanity, so she pulls you in her lap under the excuse that it’d be easier that way. i think she has pretty clear skin so she’d use concealer and only a little bit of foundation. you’re painting sunset colors on her eyelids. she doesn’t wear eyeliner but you convince her to, just a sharp line at the corners because she’d look so sexy with it. you highlight her cheekbones a little bit and the shine is so pretty on her. applying mascara is the easiest part because she’s able to not blink for some time (creepy), doesn’t flinch either. she has long lashes (im jealous) so only a fine layer does the job. she’s being quieter than usual which is a surprise considering the position you’re both in but you guess she doesn’t wanna risk flustering you when you have a brush near her eye; in truth she’s really just too busy staring. applying lipstick is your favourite part because her lips are so alluring and pretty. she likes a reddish peach the most. you take your time but it’s getting harder to concentrate when she’s looking at you with lidded eyes and parted lips. you just finished her look before she kisses you thank you and ruins her lipstick in the process so you’ll have to apply it again <3