MS PAINT

well have i something to tell you...

It's on webtoon!!! where the anime ends its roughtly like 30 ep before the actual finale

but i should recommend to go and read the whole thing, it has some really cool moments and sometimes more inside in how everyone is doing, something that the show cuts probably in order to try and tell a whole story in just 12 eps

finally im done watching senpai is an otokonoko

it's very wholesome and sometimes i wanna cry on some episodes... lol i want more.

sometimes i like to think that i could get that with friends, like i could dance with friends, or talk with them or them being my comfort...

but sometimes i feel as if i know that not only that wouldn't be even close, but alright simply imposible. People would not give me their comfort or their love as for they have someone else... and i would never

even if the only thing that i could get out of it is the pain of being unloved... sometimes it feels as if even that would be a gift, instead of being unable to love.

99% of the time I'm fine with being aro/ace. If the struggles of my friends tell me anything it's that relationships/dating tends to cause them more problems than anything else. 99% of the time I'm fine with simply entertaining myself with imaginary romance. A moment where I'll imagine myself dancing and goofing off with whichever fictional character currently has my attention, the moment intimate but not sexual. I imagine what it might be like to love romantically in that moment, the music that spurred the daydream playing on the radio, a ghost smiling lovingly back at me through the mundane work of my job; a ghost that will never have a physical hand to hold, the love in their eyes nothing but a reflection of what I've seen in movies. And then the moment ends, and I feel an indescribable loneliness knowing that I can't feel that way with a real person. As much as I want to, my brain and heart have decided that's not for me. I can love my friends, I can love my family. But the love of a partner that makes your heart flutter and draws your eyes to their lips, your hands to theirs, the world seeming to slow around you... That's reserved for everyone else. All I have is the imaginary, and the ghosts in my head.

Wow this is super well put out and the portraits are so cool looking

Also eve is like me fr fr i love her

This is me. Sorting Isaac hcs out, do you still love me?

Anyway there’s still a lot of things to consider, not sure if all of these are permanent (like I can see Maggie as an “adult” identity too, in a way it’s a reflection of Isaac’s mother) but they’re a start :)

3 Unnecessarily complex fit

i really enjoy working on this, like i wish i had something like that, which in turn made me realize it's not complex enough

i suddenly remember when i was with my 8yo nephew, and he was just playing roblox and watching random youtube videos.... He got so bored that he kinda started to feel kinda ill....

like.... i get it young man, i also feel like that sometimes but... dont you want to draw? perhaps play with your physical toys? build a tower out of books? read said books? do math things on paper just because?

not to sound like your dad but if your not having a great time rn you might legitimately be playing too many video games or being on that damn phone too often, or at least without any necessary activity buffers

WHO AM I ?

capitalism am i right?

What do you mean things cost money????

we all have gone through it so... the sooner you accept it the sooner you'll have other experiences...... so.........

U cute

>trans women are cute

>you are a trans woman

curious

I stated OTHER trans women, I'll have you know. They are all cute. I, however, am not

does caro ever miss or mourn the person they could have been if they been happy with who they were as carrie? i'm an older trans person and have been post op and passing for over a decade now, but every now and then i can't help but feel sad for the version of myself i would have been if i'd been cis. i don't see a lot of stories with gnc characters touch on these feelings even though i think they're a normal part of the trans experience

WOAGH ok. I'm not going to clean up this sketch cuz i think its better you get the sloppy 'couldnt see through my tears replying to this ask' version. In many ways, yes. Its hard to put into words because its not a regret, but its a grief of who they tried to be for so long. It doesn't take away from the joy they have being the person they are now, but for them its like losing a loved one too young, if that makes sense.

i think many people have 'what ifs' and sadness for our baby selves. I write Caro loving Carrie very much, which is a super personal choice for me. I also show Carries story because I feel its really important to understand Caros. And because its really important to mine. I mourn baby me all the time, I was so incredibly lost. And I mourn the man I never became. He lives in John, because in many ways he still exists in me, even if my life took me in a different direction from him. I still love him. Hes still part of me even if my path didn't include him once i learned more about myself. But I'm also incredibly joyful and happy to be the person I am now, and I think teenage girl me, and phantom FtM me would be really proud of 40-something nonbinary living-my life-the-best-way-i-can me.

I think if Caro could meet Carrie in some kinda way, they'd say they were so sorry they couldn't be her, and that they really tried but they just didnt know how. But I think Carrie would tell them she's really happy she gets to be them, and how proud she is of how far theyve come together.