My Headcannon For The Attendants At The Stone-Lavorre Destination Wedding (on The Moon??)

My headcannon for the attendants at the Stone-Lavorre Destination Wedding (on the moon??)

Invited and showed up

Expositor Lionett of the Cobalt Soul (Best Man/ Maid of Honour/New Mother) her wife: The OrphanMakerTaker (renowned harpist and murderer stay at home mom) and an undisclosed number of recently amassed orphans.

Professor Widogast of the Soltryce Academy (Best Man/ Will-turn-into-a-TRex-and-walk-Jester-down-the-aisle) his partner: the Wanted War Criminal Cobalt Soul Archivist Essek Thelyss Seth Domade (designated driver teleporter) and his brother colleague idk man they just know each other stop asking questions: Taskhand Verin Thelyss (Commander of the Krynn Dynasty’s Umbra Watch and canonical Ashari weeb)

Veth Brenatto (Maid of Honour/ Founder and leader of the Wildemount Wildlings/ recovering? Alcoholic) her husband: Yeza Brenatto (owner of Brenatto’s Better Self Apothecary, doing Okay please don’t ask him about that time he was kidnapped and ate his own clothes. Or that time his son burnt alive. Or what’s going on with the current status of his marriage) and their son: Luc Brenatto (Flower Boy - too old to be a flower boy. Mad that he was asked to be a flower boy. Teenager.) Also Nugget the Dog (ring bearer. Ate the rings.)

Champion of the Wildmother Caduceus Clay (Best Man/ designated cleric ‘will cast lesser restoration after you throw up’ / caterer it’s ok there will also be non-vegan options) and an unknown number of his parents and siblings that have never been to a wedding before and probably shouldn’t have started with this one)

Current Plank King Kingsley Tealeaf (Best Man/Fjord invited him here so he could steal back his boat) and a handful of miscellaneous pirates here for the free booze

That group of weirdos they met on the moon and didn’t expect to actually survive show up, including Lesbian (Purple / Beau and Yasha wanna fuck her ), Bisexual (Dead / Beau and Yasha wanna fuck her), Short Guy (Gay Sad Fighter) , Blue Guy (heading up the wedding band), Fire Lady (Hot, Wants to fuck Beau and Yasha), The Minotaur (Evil? Veth is gonna ruin her marriage tonight for sure Officiant???), Rocks (Rocks. free light feature.) and Strange Old Man (Caleb wanted him here. They hoped he might have passed in his sleep by now)

The Ruby of the Sea, Marion Lavorre (Mother of the Bride. Semi-retired courtesan. Agoraphobic. Wishes her daughter would’ve please just thrown an indoor wedding.) her husband? boyfriend? paramour? They’re not putting a label on it yet: The Gentleman, Babenon Dosal (Father of the Bride. Semi-retired crime lord mob boss human smuggler (repented) man of ill repute, kinda mad he wasn’t asked to walk his daughter down the aisle but whatever. Getting slammed down Big Style tonight and every night by Exandria’s Wet Dream)

Vandran (Father ‘Old Guy Who Was Nice To Him At A Pivotal Age’ of the Groom. Is having a number of rather concerning Tusk Love flashbacks. Thinks he probably should’ve stayed on his island. Jester keeps trying to set him up with Captain Adella (formally of the Drensala Vis. Now of Stone’s Throw Shipping) … there might be something there.

Marius LePual (pirate sailor, still not a murderer, immediately hammered)

Seafaring legend Orly Skiffback (pirate tattooist, is not tattooing for free. Is not in charge of Marius tonight)

Dwarven explorer Dagen Underthorn (no one’s sure he’s definitely here tonight. Beau thinks she saw him by the magic portapotty. Beau is drunk)

Enchanter Pumat Sol. And also Enchanter Pumat Sol. And also Enchanter Pumat Sol. The fourth one couldn’t get the time off work (half of the enchanted party decorations here are rentals from the Invulnerable Vagrant. They are not giving jester her deposit back)

Kiri (Flower girl. A more age appropriate choice. Luc is teaching her how to Crossbow uncle Fjord when he’s not looking) also the entire Schuster family is here too.

The Lightbringer of Uthodurn, Reanmimere (Flower girl back up ring bearer after Caduceus retrieved the rings from inside nugget it was super gross she bears the rings as a giant snake)

Professor Eadwulf Grieve of the Soltryce Academy (former-government-spy-assassin-wizard, currently the Cerberus Assembly’s equivalent of the gym teacher who also covers sex ed. Was startled by a Jester-Sending in the middle of the night and RSVP’d yes on impulse. Astrid wouldn’t help him get out of it. She kept laughing at him and it was mean)

The Traveler (Officiant / not a god / sometimes a weasel)

Sprinkle (always a weasel / dreams of a cosmic death / dyed blue to be Jester’s something blue even though… Jester… is blue?? Sprinkle is not having it)

Invited but did not show up:

Expositor Dairon of the Cobalt Soul (said to Beau ‘dear gods don’t make me go, I’ll do whatever you want.’ Is now covering Beau’s paperwork until she’s back from vacation)

Calianna (still hunting bowls. Sends her love.)

The Bright Queen (returned an official notice flanked by two armed guards to please not contact her by message spell again unless there is a war.)

Archmage of Civil Influence Astrid Becke of the Cerberus Assembly (absolutely thrilled that Eadwulf accidentally agreed to this shit. Would rather submerge herself in hot oil than be at this wedding herself. Said so to Jester’s face. Also the Soltryce Academy is currently down two faculty members and somehow that’s her problem and you have no idea how hard it is to find a good substitute who isn’t gonna teach the kids evil.)

Vilya of the air ashari (the second that Rumblecusp was floated as a location she decided she was actually super busy that week.)

Jamedi Cosko (said ‘I don’t know you’. Is sticking by that.)

Allura Vysoren (sent a very expensive gift. Is making the conscious decision to separate herself from the Mighty Nein for the sake of her blood pressure. One adventuring party to babysit is more than enough) and Kima of Vord (barely remembers who these people are except the tall one and her hot wife)

Keg (currently a centaur. It’s awkward seeing the girl you once fucked be happily married with stolen orphan children while you’re currently a centaur)

Yussa Errenis (missing in action. They’ll figure out what mess he’s gotten himself into after the honeymoon. At this point it’s on him when this shit happens)

Not invited but showed up anyway

Gelidon, The Nightmare in ivory (angry)

Avantika (dead. angry.)

Isharnai the Prism Sage (angry. wants her promised hands)

Professor Thaddeus (bird. angry.)