Twitter Is Good For Showing Me How They Do Things To Hedgehogs For Example Anesthesia & X-rays

I really wish Xie Lian hadn't followed this up with "haha jk" after this. I adore badass pissed of Xie Lian so much.

i made Ezreal a friend! His name is Coral

his name is Ezreal:D

AU where SJ is a horror movie director and actor. All the movies he makes aren't overly gore filled and they focus on psychological horror (and have an all female cast with very few exceptions because of course). However, all the movies he acts in have him get brutally murdered (it's in his contract).

SY is a horror movie nerd and got hooked on SJ through his acting. He loved the monsters and the creative deaths. The interviews he watched of SJ, he's enamored (in a TOTALLY PLATONIC AND PARASOCIAL WAY) with the way SJ says he's usually the one writing his own death scenes. That led him to find SJ's movies and he was even more hooked.

But SY is also an actor, but he plays love interests in cheesy romance dramas (he did it originally to beat his sister in a bet but it's not a bit anymore). He's charming and sweet with all his co-actors and even amassed his own irl harem. He wishes he could act in horror movies, but he's too well known as the kind pretty boy from the romance genre. And people will most certainly riot if his characters die, so :(

And as cheesy and sappy SY thinks his roles are, SJ is absolutely enamored as well. His guilty pleasure is watching cheesy romance dramas. He loves them in secret and wishes saintly men like SY's characters existed in real life.

Anyway, during an interview with SY, he's asked what genre he likes, and he tells them that he's actually fond of horror. They ask what type of horror and he immediately starts gushing about SJ. About his acting, his genius, his writing, his directing skills, etc. He tells the interviewer that his dream is to either work with or under SJ, but he laments that he always gets rejected for horror roles.

In the distance you here all the woman SY has enchanted wail in unison as they realize they don't have a chance because he likes men.

SJ obviously sees this and doesn't know what to do with the obvious praise. He panics as SY says he wants to work with/under him, and is struck with inspiration (he had writer's block for a long time). And he writes a script with a kind man that gets everyone to love him with a few words that is actually a siren that secretly consumes his admirers (or something IDK I'm uncreative. it doesn't matter it just has to be a monster role that is obviously made for SY)

He refines the script and starts casting. SY hears SJ is looking for roles openly, which is rare because SJ usually has closed castings. So he hurries over and auditions for the main villain, and he gets the role (to no one's surprise).

When they start the filming process, SY has basically enchanted the whole crew and they all agree that SY was the best option. And then one of the scenes where SY reveals himself as evil, and everyone had something awake in them.

The entire time SY is hoping he's doing well so SJ will like him. And in SJ's corner, he's fighting demons to stay professional. Everyone is fighting their battles while SY keeps looking at SJ after each shoot to see if he's doing a good job. But SJ keeps leaving, so obviously he's not. So he tries even harder (causing so much emotional distress in everyone that wants him desperately)

When everything wraps up, SY asks if SJ would be interested in dinner so he can pick his brain. SJ hesitates thinking SY was going to reveal that he too was two-faced like his character. But no, SY genuinely asks him so many questions and looked stary eyed when he answered. SY didn't try anything and they left with SY walking SJ to his car before going to his.

SJ drives home conflicted because apparently a prince charming does exist and he casted him as a murderer in his show/movie. And SY is happy because he thinks he did so well in getting his favorite actor/director to finally like him.

The movie/show releases and everyone also has a violent awakening and want SY in more villain roles.

SY is happy because he can finally be in horror movies. SJ is actively making scripts to just invite SY to act in them (the most productive he's been in a while). SY is over the moon when he gets an invite to act in another of SJ's scripts and puts his all in his characters. He ends up shining so much that even if he was a side character, he'd be a fan favorite.

And eventually he and SJ get invited to play in a movie. SY is excited to act with SJ (he didn't read the script before accepting the role), and SJ is so conflicted because not only does the movie have a kiss scene between their characters but SY kills him. It's like evil, toxic yaoi or something.

SY finally reads his damn script and is having a whole sexuality crisis, but he shuts up because he doesn't want to lose this opportunity (and he doesn't want to offend SJ, who is openly and maliciously gay). The director (Airplane) is doing this for the love of the game and fan service, so he makes them redo scenes over and over again until he liked a shoot.

SY locks in and tries not to think much of it. Then SJ tells him they have to practice the kiss scene because it has to look authentic (Airplane is a tyrant and demands it to be sloppy and crazy and REAL), and suddenly SY is thinking WAY too much about it. They try, SJ tells him he kisses stiff, and that he figured all his romantic main lead roles would make him a better kisser.

SY doesn't know how to say that he uses stage kisses instead of actually kissing his co-actor because he always felt uncomfortable with it, so he settles on saying something accidentally suave. Probably something like "It's different to kiss someone you admire so much".

SJ takes at least 15 points of psychic damage and tells him that they better practice for him to get used to it (excuse to kiss SY).

Then the day of the scene comes and like... I can't think of anything to end this with. Idk they get caught in the moment and have weird sex on set or something and Airplane calls it genius and takes the movie to production.

This optional if you want to write this au. I just don't have a way to end this post :3

Oh I get it! So basically Jun Wu and Xie Lian had a messy break up, and now Jun Wu is trying to love bomb him, but it's all for nothing because Xie Lian is constantly horny for Hua Cheng now.

Am I right?

in school I used to wear fake glasses while doing writing assignments so that the teachers would think I was smarter and grade my tests higher (this actually worked, for the record)

this kind of backfired in a pavlovian way because now I literally have to put on a pair of glasses and activate Smart Mode when I write anything longer than a few paragraphs

Saw this pic somewhere and immediately thought of this

And just as i was scrolling through yt to find the exact scene where gothel holds rapunzel's hair, i found this ❤️

ya know, I'm a big fan of roleswap aus for SVSSS, ya know, with disciple SY and shizun Binghe. The thing I've noticed, however, is they never have Binghe purposefully shove SY into the abyss.

I've seen it as a qi deviation and as SY shoving himself in, but I think SY should get the full Binghe treatment.

Here's what I'm thinking;

Luo Binghe is a Demon Lord and a Peak Lord, his climb to power underhanded and bloody, a boy broken by the world, trying to get back his own.

Not as severe as Bingge did in PIDW, this one never had a teacher to crush his dreams of being a religious cultivator, I think.

In this version of PIDW, Shen Jiu is Binghe's treacherous disciple, constantly sabotaging his fellow students and leaching on any woman who came in within two feet of him. He was a pitiful street rat who came to Cang Qiong sect during the test and Binghe's close friend Ling Yingying took pity on and convinced Binghe to let him onto his peak.

He discovers his Shizun is a half demon during the IAC and taunts him, threatening to reveal his identity to the entire cultivator world. In response, Luo Binghe tosses Shen Jiu into the Abyss.

Shen Jiu returns five years later, wielding the demon sword, Xin Mo, coming to wreck his Shizun. Luo Binghe is able to defeat his wayward disciple and claim Xin Mo from him. He then proceeds to have truckloads of nasty sex about it.

Shen Yuan dies cursing the lost potential, as Shen Yuan often does, and is reborn as Shen Jiu, fresh off a qi deviation following one of the harsher punishments Shen Jiu never seemed to learn from.

He goes out of his way to make himself indispensable and undeniably good, as soon as he can get his ooc lock off. In the skinner demon equivalent, Shen Yuan finds himself saddled with a newfound realization that he's 1) gay, 2) gay for Luo Binghe.

Which is the worst realization Shen Yuan could have at this moment, which is exactly why he's having it. Because I want him to suffer. He now has to grapple with his sexuality, who he's into, and what who he's into might do to him, if he fails to change the plot.

He manages to change a lot (saves head disciple Liu Qingge and what not) and grow incredibly close to Binghe (sharing the bamboo hut, sharing meals... isn't this stuff Binghe would do with his first wife Ling Yingying? Could... could that mean..?!) by the time the IAC is coming.

Shen Yuan sees his master's facade be revealed and... Luo Binghe is no innocent child here. He's a man who has hurt so many people to get where he is with minimal regret. Can he really trust one person, a boy who has made him feel alive for the first time, when he's lived a life that's proven trust is a lie?

He decides he can't. Despite Shen Yuan insisting and pleading that he won't tell Luo Binghe's secret to anyone, Binghe tosses him into the abyss.

When Shen Yuan climbs out, early, he is not angry. He... he gets it! Really he does! He's not mad, shut up, Xin Mo, Shizun Binghe, really, he's- why are you running.

what should i name them?

edit: decided to name them polyxene

The past: Macaque's Reaction

Liu Er Mihou was the first to notice something happened. 

It’s been some years since his fight against Wukong, in which the Great Sage explained the best he could why he had to go through this pilgrimage and protect this monk. Mihou decided to give him one last chance and Wukong promised he will get home as soon as this Journey ended. Now Macaque is back on Flower Fruit Mountain hoping the King will keep his promise.

Macaque listens now and then in direction to the west, to know if the travel with the monk and the other pilgrims was almost done. The last time he listen what Wukong was up to, he was on his way to get his circlet removed by Guanyin after sealing the brotherhood in a scroll.

Finally! Wukong did kept his promise of getting back home after all of this was done! And about the brotherhood, well, Macaque wasn’t that sad about them. Sure they were friends, but not anymore, not after the fight against heaven and how they completely abandoned Wukong after it. Macaque still did try to find him and talked to him, even if the result was a smashed peach on the ground.

Mihou was still very conflicted about how to feel toward Wukong, they needed to have serious talk as soon as the King will be back on the mountain. But something wasn’t right, something was missing. Macaque couldn’t shake off this feeling of something missing, something big. Then he notice.

Wukong’s magic. He couldn’t feel it anymore.

Minutes ago he could feel it getting closer, feeling Wukong getting closer to Flower Fruit Mountain. But now, nothing. It vanished into thin air. And then he noticed the lack of sounds.

He could no longer hear Wukong's breath, or his heartbeat. Normally Macaque is able to hear it even if he is far away thanks to his six ears.

But now, there was only a deafening silence. He couldn’t understand, what just happened? 

Not wanting to alarm the other demon monkeys on FFM, he continues to listen, to find any hints, anything to ease his mind and to tell him that all of this is a cruel joke. 

His mind went blank. There was no way Wukong just disappeared like that. Yes, he still hasn't forgiven him for going with the pilgrims and how he abandoned him, but he never expected all of this.

_________

No more than an hour later, Nezha was at the foot of Flower Fruit Mountain,asking to see Macaque or any monkey in charge of Wukong's kingdom.

Macaque was pulled back from his spiraling of thought when he noticed Nezha's presence.

Using his shadow to teleport to him, he told him he better have a good reason why he's there. 

Nezha told him about all the things the Jade Emperor said; how Wukong died from a powerful curse he got during his journey, that apparently one of the many demons he fought had a cursed weapon capable of slowly killing an immortal being . And now his staff became cursed and is protected by a powerful barrier.

“ …where is he?” Macaque ask. “I- I don’t know. They didn’t answer when I asked, only saying he got disposed of.” “What do you mean disposed of?! You’re telling me it’s only been an hour since he supposedly died and he’s already disposed of??!” Nezha sighed: “Look I know this sounds very bad, and I agree something is awry. That’s why I came here as soon as I could to tell you this. Apparently his body was emanating a cursed energy after dying so that’s why they acted quickly” “... this doesn’t make any sense.." macaque paused "and what do you mean by something is awry? I was sure you would agree to whatever Heaven decided to do”. “I am not completely blind to what they do. Not long before they announced this, I saw that a part of the celestial army left the palace in secret and they got back when the news was spread. Perhaps it is connected, perhaps it is not. But my intuition tells me something is just wrong.”

“...”

“I know we are not on good terms but I thought it would be correct to tell you all this. I need to go now , my condolence for your loss.”

Nezha left the mountain as quickly as he got there to go back to the celestial palace.

Macaque stayed in the same spot,paralysed, still processing all the informations. ________

The news spread like wildfire. And everyone was too scared to go near the mountain with the "cursed magic staff".

Time passed, and Mihou was still looking for Wukong whenever he could, while protecting and taking care of the kingdom left behind after the sudden departure of the King.

Au Masterpost