Would You Let Me Into Your Room So I Can Sit Awkwardly On The Ground Wearing An Oversized T Shirt And

I will be back for you

All USWNT Matches from the 2015 Women’s World Cup

USA v AUS

USA v SWE

USA v NGA

USA v COL

USA v CHI

USA v GER

World Cup Final

Sharing my writing with other people is always going to feel vulnerable, no matter how many times I do it or how others respond. I doubt I'm the only one that gets nervous when posting online, so thought I'd share this:

Things that help when sharing my fics

1. Make sure I have a project or something to work on straight after posting

gives me something to think about other than how my fic is doing

stops me sitting there constantly refreshing ao3

ideally something not related to ff (so no WIPs)

2. Try to not look at tumblr/my ao3 until at least the next morning

gives me (hopefully) something to look forward to in the morning

keeps me from constantly checking if I know I'm going to check it all at once

my ao3 comment emails are disabled for this reason

having any other fics that I want to read open in their own tab also helps so I don't have to click on my user

3. Post about an hour before I'm planning to sleep

posting close to bedtime makes #2 easier, but

I also need to factor in time to calm down after the initial nerves

4. Read some other recently posted fics

partly I do this regardless of whether or not I've posted recently

but also it's nice reading other people's work knowing they're probably out there at that exact moment experiencing something similar

I've found some of my absolute fav ff writers this way

careful that if you do this you're not comparing

5. Be extra kind to myself

chances are my anxiety is going to be running high

this means I tend to be extra critical of myself for about a day after posting something

it helps to remind myself that there's a reason my inner critic is in hyperdrive

but that also means no reading, writing, or editing my own work

6. If nothing else, remember I had fun

remind myself that once the anxiety has passed I'll have a new chapter/fic from my favourite ff writer (me) to look forward to

and if even one other person reads it and enjoys it, I've made a new friend :)

Of course this is a checklist for the ideal scenario. There are other factors and days when my anxiety is already running high for other reasons. This isn't a set of commandments or a rulebook, it's a guide to help myself.

If it's not helping in the moment, I do something different.

this whole mutual thing is overhyped on this site. want to send me an ask off anon? do it. want to tag me in a post? do it. follower, mutual, or just random person who stumbled across my blog: I crave interaction and literally do not mind.

writing is so fun

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless it impacts your work performance…

Or your grades

Or how you act

Or if it causes you to say no

Or if you’re harder to be around

Or if you need time alone

Or if you talk about it

Or show symptoms

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless you have trauma

Unless you have one of those “scary” mental illnesses

Unless it inconveniences me

Unless you’re undiagnosed

Unless you cry or scream or make a scene

Unless you don’t keep that shit to yourself

Unless you make me uncomfortable

Unless I can’t infantilize or fetishize you

Unless you have hallucinations

Unless you have psychosis

Unless you get angry

Unless I think you’re cringe

Unless you can’t preform hygiene tasks

Unless you’re disabled, or trans, or gay, or not white, or fat, or AFAB, or intersex, or a man… so I guess anyone

“It’s okay to not be okay”

As long as nobody ever finds out.

Our society has a severe issue with performative activism, and mental health is a huge example of this. Every time someone considers reaching out, they run through this list mentally. This is why true activists and resources need to be loudly supportive of all the things on this list. Take the subtext out of your support.

a happy couple might’ve gotten married today 

someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today

someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today

someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today 

lots of interesting things might’ve happening today 

we should celebrate 

me, reading my own incomplete writing : *gasp* and then what happened?

Black water rushing through me. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone come read this with me!

For those interested in Remus’s POV of Rourke, I’ve posted a few thousand words.