Please Don’t Tell Him To Pull Up

Domestic Espeon (?)

Do you think the PJO Demigods, when they are allowed to use social media, are as obsessed with Epic as the rest of us?

Or do you think that College age Percy and Crew are secretly working with Jorge in making Epic?

Because, just imagine Percy just randomly appearing in Atlantis, walking up to his dad, and randomly asking "so what do you think of the Manwhore AU?"

And Poseidon is just utterly confused.

MIND HONSE..........

Free Me From These Shackles

The first time the JL met Marvel was during an alien invasion in Metropolis. The hero was new, and quite cheery whenever they interacted with him. He was like Superman 2.0., but more red and somehow more of a Boy Scout. In fact, speaking of Superman, the meshed together like peanut butter and jelly. Anyways, back to the point, when they first met him he was new and seemingly, emphasis on seemingly, naïve and inexperienced.

So, they tried to help him, much to Billy’s hidden annoyance. And he was annoyed! He won’t deny that. They were treating him like a newbie!

Like, the time Superman came to Fawcett and started critiquing every single thing he did in a fight against Captain Nazi.

Marvel and Captain Nazi(CN): *fighting*

Supes: *just hovering to the side*

CN: *throws a car*

Marvel: *catches it and puts it down*

Supes: “You know, you could’ve thrown that back at him?”

Marvel: “What?” *gets distracted and last minute dodges a punch, proceeds to fly far away from Captain Nazi*

Supes: *follows after him* “I’m saying you could’ve thrown the car back at him. Or the lamppost he threw you earlier. Or the hotdog stand.”

Marvel: “Why would I do that?”

CN: *flying after him*

Marvel: “What if he breaks it? That’s someone’s stuff. Or what if he deflects it? Property damage can kick your behind. How do you not know that?”

Supes: “Does your city not pay for it? Then again…”

…he was new, Clark thought. It would make sense for the city not to cover him yet.

Marvel: “What? Why would they? Wouldn’t that mess up taxes?”

Supes: “Now that I think about it, it really should.”

Clark was amazed as to how his taxes or rent never went up, no matter how much destruction happened in Metropolis.

Or the time Batman tried helping him diffuse a bomb even though Billy has had plenty experience already. They were at an alien site and trying to diffuse an alien bomb though so he supposed he could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Even if it was annoying.

Marvel: *squats down and rips off bomb lid*

Batman: “Careful.”

Marvel: “Careful what?” *looking at a bunch of wires*

Batman: *peers over his shoulder* “We don’t have enough informa—”

Marvel: “Uh huh uh huh.” *barely listening and snaps a blue wire with his fingers*

Solomon: *blabbling instructions*

Batman: *startles and jumps back*

Marvel: *gives him a look before snapping another two wires*

Batman: *baffled at how they aren’t literally dead, and wondering if Billy’s run into this tech before*

Marvel: *snaps one more wire and bomb powers off* “Alright.” *stands back up* “Man, I am starving. Your city has his joint called Bat-Burger, right? Is it good?”

Batman: “…Yes.” *somehow had a blank face but still conveying that he thinks Marvel is crazy*

Billy honestly didn’t know why he thought so. Sivana’s had more complicated stuff fit for random Tuesdays instead of long, dastardly plots or invasions.

Free Billy from these shackles of people thinking he’s a newbie as if he hasn’t done this longer than them.

Jason’s-alive-reveal-au where he decides that in order to fuck with Bruce on every level he needs access to both sides of his life, so not only does he become Red Hood but he also starts working at WE and accidentally slowly starts climbing the corporate ladder. he didn’t mean to be anything more than a low-level grunt but turns out he fucking rules at this job, and it all comes to light because thinking he wouldn’t be important meant he didn’t even bother using a fake name, and eventually Tim’s in his office like, running through promotions that he needs to approve for some of the higher positions.

Tim, seeing ‘Jason Peter Todd’ as one of the names on the list:

Tim: *narrows eyes*

Lucius, spotting the name: ….oh. what do you want to-

Tim: give him the promotion.

Lucius: ….give the promotion to the person using Bruce’s dead son’s name?

Tim: if he gets the promotion he’ll have to attend the monthly board meetings. i want to watch whoever this is try and get away with that. we’ll tear him apart.

Tim thinks he’s being real funny up until Jason fucking Todd walks into the boardroom two weeks later and maintains direct eye contact just daring him to freak out in front of everyone. i like to think that Bruce is also at this meeting, but he fell asleep five minutes ago so he doesn’t even notice, and Tim spends the next hour glaring daggers into the passed out man’s head for daring to leave him alone in this situation.

the thing is, Bruce probably slacks off so much at WE that even if Jason was like. in the highest position he could possible achieve in his department. he probably wouldn’t notice. Jason and Tim come to an understanding filled with spite that leads Tim to keep quiet about Jason’s revival specifically because Bruce keeps palming his work off on Tim and he wants to get him back.

eventually the family find out who Red Hood is and Tim doesn’t act surprised in the slightest. betrayed, Bruce asks why Tim would keep that kind of information from him only to immediately get shouted down with ‘-WELL MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP TO THE FUCKING STOCK MEETINGS YOU WOULD KNOW-‘

after like twenty seconds of shocked silence at the outburst Jason turns to clap Bruce on the shoulder, ‘oh right. also i run your marketing department. see you in a couple days for the quarterly report.’

(i think its also funnier if Damian was somewhat aware of the situation due to doing some kind of volunteer/internship thing at WE for school, and like two months after Tim found out, Damian was in his office with him when Jason waltzed in to hand in some papers and both Tim and Damian froze. Tim because he didn’t think Damian knew Jason and was afraid he’d snitch, and Damian because what the fuck is Todd doing in front of a family member without the helmet?!

Jason, after like a minute: Dami, i can explain

Damian, really doesn’t want to get dragged into whatever bullshit Jason’s doing, because he had enough of that in the league and doesn’t want to be held responsible by both Bruce and Talia when this inevitably blows up in their faces: you know what Todd? i actually don’t want you to.

Jason:

Jason: thats honestly fair

Tim, confused: …am i missing something here?

Jason and Damian, simultaneously: no.)

HAPPY PRIDE!! ✨🏳️‍🌈✨ 🌈

Anything for mdzs with Jiang Yanli? Thank you!

a continuation of 1 2

Jiang Yanli doesn't carry a sword.

The only time Lan Wangji sees her with it is when they're practicing sword forms. She manages the stances and moves easily enough, but can't seem to channel a significant amount of cultivation energy through the blade.

Lan Wangji wonders about her bodyguard.

He doesn't participate in the classes, instead standing the back and observing. They'd never even spoken, only exchanged nods as Jiang Yanli had introduced them.

Brother and Uncle are encouraging him to spend time with Jiang Yanli. Apparently the talks between the elders and the Jiang's council are going well.

If they continue to go well, he could find himself engaged by summer's end.

He comes up on a loose crowd of disciples from every sect, tension running high, and he shoulders his way through to see what the fuss is about.

Jiang Yanli is standing there. Her bodyguard, for once, is nowhere to be seen.

Jin Zixun sneers at her. He wants to intervene, but there are Jiang disciples here keeping their distance. "Jiang Yanli. I see you're swordless. Again."

She just raises an eyebrow. Lan Wangji wonders what Jin Zixun hopes to gain by irritating the heir to the Jiang Sect. The Jiangs might not be as rich as the Jins, but their disciples tend to be stronger and the area they control is greater, even though they have less disciples. Pissing them off isn't a good idea.

"Does your sword even have a name?" he taunts. "I don't understand how someone like you can be the heir to the Jiang. Your clan must be so embarrassed by you."

There's a furious fission among the Jiang disciples, but still they hold their place. If Jiang Cheng was here, he imagines this would be going differently, but he's not.

Jiang Yanli tilts her head to the side, a mocking smile curling around her mouth before she turns away from him to walk away.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he shouts, unsheathing his blade and swinging it down in an arc that will embed itself into her spine.

Lan Wangji moves forward to stop it, but he's too late.

Wei Wuxian is standing where he wasn't before, standing in front of Jiang Yanli's back. He's stopped Jin Zixun's blade with the hilt of his still sheathed sword. Just as quickly as he'd moved before, he yanks Jin Zixun's sword from his hand before jamming the hilt of the sword in his solar plexus then sweeping his feet out in front of him. Between one blink and the next Jin Zixun goes from standing, armed and upright, to groaning on his back with his weapon out of reach.

"My sword's name," Jiang Yanli says calmly, having kept her back to the whole exchange, "is Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian winks at him before turning to step next to Jiang Yanli. They walk away from him arm and arm with their heads held high.

Wei Wuxian hadn't even bothered to draw his sword.

by Mauro Roberto Scalabroni

Totally responsible consumption of tea

i think the finale arc of the adventure zone is literally the most fucking powerful piece of media ever created and here’s why

you know that opening narration in Watchmen where rorshach is all “they’ll look up and scream save us, and i’ll look down and whisper no” and it’s all very gritty and dramatic and uhuhu sheeple

it’s literally the total fucking opposite of that

the apocalypse is bearing down, a hundred billion voices screaming in cacophonous and deafening unison GIVE UP AND DIE, and the entire world shares a glance, and takes a breath, and looks up and says:

No.

And I don’t believe I have ever seen something with such a powerful faith in humanity. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something that describes such an unshakeable connectedness, such an unbreakable will to exist. The apocalypse is happening and people are still fighting.

And I think that especially now, especially in times of such upheaval and uncertainty, and now with the threat of nuclear war looming from the darker corners of our political houses, we need more than ever stories that say what this one does–and I have never seen it more clearly and more beautifully communicated.

It’s not over until you stop fighting.

They may be fully trained vigilantes, but they are also brother's at the core.

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)