Damian Wayne Gets Caught By The Press While Sneaking Away And Hanging Out In Civilian Clothing With Red

They may be fully trained vigilantes, but they are also brother's at the core.

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

Cherry blossom.

Hirosaki park, Aomori, Japan.

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

by Caitlin

I just think Shang Qinghua should get so angry one time that he unconsciously overrides the System and unlocks Admin privileges and just deletes entire clans out of existance in the blink of an eye while going "writing you in was a mistake".

And I also think everyone who saw that refuses to ever talk about it, but they're all scared shitless of the tiny human by Mobei-jun's side now because they realize he's not just really smart and an amazing strategist, he's also a god and can kill them all in 0.5 seconds. And now they all think that Shang Qinghua is actually the one running the show and Mobei-jun is just, like, the face of the Northern kingdom only.

Shang Qinghua is utterly horrified when he snaps out of it and realizes what he's done (somehow??? He doesn't know wtf just happened) and how now everyone is terrified of him except for Mobei-jun who is just looking at him with heart in his eyes lmao

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

via

A biiiiig stretch

*kicks down door* Have I ever mentioned that my gremlin brain came up with an explanation for why the characters treat Lucis like a continent when the map is so weird and so oddly small in proportions, even when taking into account the (large) part of it we can’t go?

Because gremlin brain did that.

Admittedly partly inspired by a throwaway line in the fic Nocturne but like-

War of the Astrals.

Big deal.

Bahamut alone made a HUGE rift in the continent that stretches for miles and is probably like- roughly grand canyon sized.

So here we have the god of fire, and the god of the SEA among others, all duking it out prior to Bahamut carving his rift and “killing” Ifrit and like-

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A VOLCANO ERUPTS. I mean the big ones. The Krakatoas and Santorini’s of the world.

STUFF SINKS.

Sure it’s just an island in RL but when you have EMBODIMENTS OF THOSE FORCES OF NATURE all trying to kill each other then STUFF WILL REALLY SINK.

So gremlin brain was like: what if the reason the map is weird is because it IS really that small. What if Lucis is roughly the size of a really large RL ISLAND while Niflheim/Tenebrae’s continent is MAYBE Australia sized at absolute most and the reason nobody bats an eye is because the rest of the continents SUNK WHEN SOLHEIM FELL. Leviathan threw hands so hard with Ifrit while Titan was busy stopping a meteor or something that a huge swathe of land just- sunk. Straight up. Galahd probably used to be a freaking mountain range before the oceans rose up so high they almost drowned and Ramuh had to stop spamming lightning long enough to hastily save what would later become the islands (and oh look a reason for the Galahdians to revere Ramuh as their patron astral, he saved them from the wrath of the burning sea).

So the survivors of solheim, when they were picking up the pieces, would have known that a ton of land was lost, but its still all the land they have left, so they keep calling it the “continent” and then over time people just forget that continent used to mean anything larger than what they currently have, and that’s why the characters are like “it’s a whole world out there” and we the players are like “why map so small?????”

It would also explain why Ravatogh takes up such a large chunk of the map? Like- volcanos can be Tol, so the ocean didn’t manage to swallow it up.

Am I making any sense? It made sense in my head.

Honestly this has probably already occurred to a lot of people in this fandom but it finally occurred to me like- a month ago and I finally got around to sharing so there.

AU where in order to be able to secretly hang out with his favourite league bro, after he gets to Gotham Damian creates a second secret identity which is literally just him in a voice modulated motorcycle helmet so he can be Red Hood’s occasional sidekick without the bats knowing it’s him, except the issue is that Damian has a lot of ‘old man’ energy surrounding him. from his weirdly mature posture, his manner of speaking, to the odd knowledge he possesses that a child of his age should NOT have; when you can’t see any part of his head, theres pretty much nothing pointing towards the fact that he’s a little kid. this leads to Hood’s subordinates instantly assuming that Hood’s sidekick is not, infact, a child, but instead a very small man/somebody with some kind of dwarfism.

Jason honestly isn’t sure whether or not he should correct his men, because on one hand its kinda funny to watch Damian awkwardly interact with this group of people who clearly think he, like them, is some 30yr old geezer with a possible wife and kids at home, not to mention its a secret identity for a reason he doesn’t want to leak information for no reason-

but on the other hand they keep offering his kid brother beers and cigarettes. which.

Goon: hey man, you see the game last night? fucking wild.

Damian, spent last night letting Tim teach him how to play with Pokémon cards but doesn’t want to seem immature: …yes. i did, indeed, watch that game.

Goon 2: fucked up that that last play wasn’t called out; the bar practically rioted. hey you should come with us next week for the next game, let us buy you a beer or somthin. Hood tags along with us sometimes, should be fun!

Damian:

Jason, struggling not to laugh:

Damian:

Damian: i have prior engagements.

Goon 1: haha, let me guess, your s/o dont want you out late?

Damian:

Damian, leaning in to Jason to whisper: what… what is an ‘s/o’

Jason, coughing to cover laughter: they uh, they think you got a wife or a husband waiting for you at home.

Damian:

Damian, turning back to the goons: i… have no idea what to say right now.

Jason: *pats him on the shoulder* alright buddy, you go finish up the weapons shipment, dont worry.

Jason to the goons, after Damian leaves: recently divorced, sore subject.

the goons: *empathetic hums of understanding*

~

Goon: here man, have a drink to take home with ya *tries to pass Damian a bottle of whiskey*

Damian: um.

Damian: *slowly edging forward to hesitatingly take the bottle, for lack of knowing what else to do*

Jason, bellowing from across the warehouse: OI!

Damian: *freezes, bottle in hand*

Goon:

Damian:

Damian: *slowly, ashamed, passes the bottle back*

Jason: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.

Goon: uhm…

~

Goon: hey, boss? why wont you let the new guy drink?

Jason:

Jason, doesn’t want to out Damian’s identity: he’s a recovering alcoholic. im his sponsor.

Goon:

~

Damian, on the way back to Jason’s apartment: Todd.

Jason: mm?

Damian: one of your men asked if i had any chiropractor reccomendations for back pain.

Jason: *bites lip*

Damian: how old do they think i AM?

Jason:

Jason: i may have implied somewhere in your fifties.

Damian:

Damian: WHY WOULD-

Jason: IT SEEMED FUNNY.